Moony and Padfoot Advice Column
by lizardandtheitcarlos23
Summary: Moony and Padfoot have decide to open an advice column to the public for including anything on how to kill someone how to get revenge etc.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:I'm doing an advice column!

* * *

><p>Hello welcome to Padfoot and Moony's Advice Column. Basically all you have to do is review with questions and we'll try to give you the best advice.<p>

For example….

**My date canceled on me! - randomchick**

M- You should probably call him or her and ask why he or she cancelled on you.

P- Go to his house ding-dong ditch and leave a bag of dog poo on the front step and light it on fire!

M- =_=… God please don't do that….

* * *

><p>So please review asking questions and we'll make sure to answer them!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: i own nothing but what they say... which is dumb sometimes :D**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column!<em>

_Question 1 from comes from_ **Beyond'sXBloodyXLawliet**

**Any good pranks for Slytherins?**

Moony-…so to use _against _Slytherins…?

Padfoot- Duh Moons, no one likes Slytherin jerks. Not even Slytherin jerks!

Moony- That doesn't make sense *mumbles incoherently* I personally don't recommend pranks so maybe I should call the "expert" if I will. *leaves*

Padfoot- Well um while Moony's gone I could tell you some good ones…One thing me and Prongs did back in the day was sneak into their common room and cover all their Slytherin stuff with Gryffindor…or you can slip some love potion into one of their drinks just make sure that it's Snape who they fall in love with and it'll be fun and-

*James enters the room*

Prongs- You called?

Padfoot- Don't get cocky I didn't call you _Moony _did!

Prongs- Fine whatever what do you want I was about to conquer Lily with the lovely mantra I made.

Padfoot- That _horrible _thing? And combined with your _terrible _singing? Yup you'll conquer her alright.

Prongs-*glares at Padfoot* So? Why am I here?

Padfoot- Can't you read ^

Prongs- *ignores Padfoot* Moony?

Moony- We need pranks for Slytherins?

Prongs-*taps chin in thought*Did you tell them the one about the Gryffindor stuff?

Padfoot- Yup

Prongs- Love potion?

Padfoot- Yup

Prongs- Dungbombs set high above their table to be released when Dumbledore begins talking?

Padfoot- Uh no…

Prongs- Taping signs permanently on their back saying to 'Kick Me?'

Padfoot- No…

Prongs- Spreading used condoms on Snape's and Lucius's beds then spreading rumors about them being together?

Padfoot- No-wait when did we do that?

Prongs- We haven't yet it's on my Prank List *continues reading off of list*

Dye their hair red and gold, poison their food with laxative, shut them in the dungeons with no escape, Kill-

Moony- Okay Prongs! I think we've had enough they only seem to be getting worse. And don't you dare finish your sentence!

Prongs-*shrugs * Fine- bye mutts! Prongs is out PEACE!

Moony- Anyways thank you for the first question *hands you a bag of unicorn turds*Padfoot?

Padfoot-*comes out from sulking in corner*It's just not fair! Prongs had more ideas than me!

Moony- Well he is the leader…

Padfoot-That isn't helping Moony.

Moony- Oh yeah… sorry…Miss Narrator can you help?

Fine. *hands Sirius a stuffed dog and pats his head*

Padfoot-*sniffles clutching toy dog*Okay I'm good.

_Question 2 comes from_ **CyilEib**

**My teacher's a total ass.**

Moony- So, I'm guessing you don't like him.

Padfoot-Moony…is your brain on? Of course she doesn't like her teacher!

And this is what you should do. Introduce that ass to a thumbtack. Problem solved

Moony-I don't think you should-

Padfoot-Moony you have to stop disapproving so much…don't _you_ hate Slughorn?

Moony- Well yes but I wouldn't put a thumbtack on his chair.

Padfoot- Course not with an ass like that he wouldn't feel it.

Moony- *sighs* Okay I guess you could…I don't know draw an ugly doodle of him on his chalkboard or something…

Padfoot-…WEAK!

Moony- Shut up! *blushes*

_Moving on *hands _**CyilEib **_a bag of thumbtacks__*****__…_

_Question 3 comes from_ **MrMissMrsRandom**

**My guyfriend is completely dense to my subtle tries at telling him I like him.**

Padfoot- Welcome to my world…

Moony- What?

Padfoot-What?

Moony- …Okay maybe you should try telling him you like him upfront you know instead of hiding behind a certain antlered best friend just because you haven't got the balls to tell someone how you actually feel.

Padfoot- Ouch Moony.

Moony- *shrugs* I'm just saying.

Padfoot- Are you trying to tell me something?

Moony-*sarcastic voice* Nooo.

Padfoot- Oh okay! *smiles oblivious to sarcasm*

Moony- *sighs again* Any advice for the MrMiss?

Padfoot- Yeah if you're a guy then maybe he's straight and if you're a girl maybe he's gay. I had to say both of those options because frankly you're name confuses me!

Moony- I'm pretty sure it's a girl.

Padfoot-I bet it's a boy for 6 of your Sugar Quills!

Moony- You're on. Winner gets gloating rights for the rest of the week!

Padfoot- Deal!

_Guys you're supposed to be answering the question!_

Padfoot- We did either they play for the other team or they're oblivious!

-_-…_Question 4 comes from_ **Prongs**

**Why won't Lily date me?**

Padfoot-Isn't it obvious because you're you and you aren't me- Sirius Black the sexiest man in the planet straight women love me gay men love me hell even straight men love me!

Moony-While Sirius basks in his ego I will answer this question that gets asked to us every single day.

-Lily doesn't like your fart jokes James.

- You're still mean to Snape.

-Lily hasn't forgotten the time in first year when you dunked a bucket of water on her head claiming her _hair _was on _fire_.

-She trips over your big ego.

Padfoot- *claps* Moony those were excellent reasons! And all of them true.

Moony- Yes well… *blushes _again_*(Damn Moony is repetitive)

_BONUS QUESTION!_

_From_** TechNomaNcer28**

**Lol OMGGGGGG!*dies***

**XD! I'll try to think of a question some day!**

Moony and Padfoot- o_0

Padfoot- That wasn't a question!

Moony- Should we call an ambulance or something…?

Padfoot- *pushes away dead body with foot* No I don't think that's necessary.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yes this disappeared for a while because there was mistakes -_-**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I f anyone is wondering yes Remus and Sirius are gay in fact they're SO gay they don't even notice! Doesn't that tick ya off? ;D**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome once again to the<em> _Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column_

_Question 6 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**I need help dealing with my brainwashed little brother.**

Padfoot- HEY! So do I! *High-five!*

Moony- Maybe you should tell him he's brainwashed?

Padfoot- Well I tried telling Reg he's just being used against me but he won't listen!

Moony- Well there's not much you can do if he won't listen. (And I was talking to her.)

Padfoot- That's true. ( And I have problems too!)

Moony- Don't be sad I mean you do have us…

Padfoot- Yeah at least I have _you_-I mean _you- guys_…um next question! *hands you a brainwashing machine*

Moony- ?

_Question 7 comes from_ **Zora's resolve**

**Are you Ambassador of Pizza?**

***jumps up and down, humming 'like a boss'***

**Will you have my babies?**

**Yeah, I asked two questions, cause I'm selfish like that.**

**Zora**

Moony- No I'm not the Ambassador of Pizza…what does that even _mean?_

Padfoot- I am!

Moony- Stop lying!

Padfoot- I'm not lying here's my certificate to prove it! *shows a certificate that says Sirius Bleck Ambassador of Pizza*

Moony- Sirius…this is a _placemat _from Chuck E. Cheese that they gave to you and look it even has a typo. You're name isn't Sirius Bleck!

Padfoot- Or is it? *gives a pedo smile*

Moony- _(How am I in love with you?)_

Padfoot- What?

Moony- What?

Padfoot- ...Yeah…_so_- wait you want to have Moony's babies?*voice full of jealousy*(My voice is _not_ full of jealousy!)

Moony- She wants to have _your _babies too, mutt.

Padfoot- I'm only 17! (And you can't ask _two_ questions! What selfishness!)

Moony- Yeah and I have a man eating disease. (And she can ask as many as she wants.)

Padfoot-*gasps* You have cancer!

Moony- No idiot I'm a bloody werewolf!

Padfoot- Moony! You can't go _blabbing _that out!

Moony- *eye twitches*

Padfoot- If the Ministry finds out about this I will have to do things to you _Zora_…

Moony- Sirius stop threatening people for my sake. And I'm sorry but I can't have your babies*hands you a baby puppy named Moony Jr. *

Padfoot- Me neither *hands you another you another baby puppy named Padfoot Jr.*

_So instead you gave her a twinset of puppies…? *shrugs* Alright whateves._

_Question 8 (9?) comes from_**TechNomaNcer28****-**

Padfoot- Wait I thought she died!

_Don't interrupt me!_

Padfoot- Sorry!

_Anyways, _

**XD! So studious Moony, have you ever read a book with lots of boyXboy action!**

Moony- *blushes* Actually…

Padfoot- Moony!

Moony- Oh whatever like you haven't sneaked a peek!

Padfoot- *blushes too*Well yes but…you were so innocent Moon-pie!

Moony- I've only read a few like 10 at least (or more)

**Ahhahaha! Okay you got me! But I think I might just have to lock up Padfoot and Moony away from each other for a week, Padfoot youuuuu defiling my poor body! Lol!**

Padfoot- Why would you lock me away from Moony!

Moony- Because you defiled her body!

Padfoot- I merely kicked it to check if she was dead! And now I guess she's back*grumbles*

**Loved that third one, what a SBRL hint there Lol!**

Padfoot- What?

Moony- What are you talking about?

Padfoot- Yeah I mean it's not like I love Moony or something!

Moony- Exactly! What did you think I was _gay_?

Padfoot- Yeah as if!

*both chuckle nervously*

_Yes because you guys are definitely fooling us -_- *_hands **TechNomaNcer28 **a stack of boyXboy books*

_Question 9 comes from _**parakeetwuvs **

**Padfoot, when will you finally shag moony into James' bed?**

Padfoot- Where are you guys coming up with this as if we're gay!

Moony- Yeah but…I mean if you _had to_ shag me…

Padfoot- Wait you'd let me shag you?

Moony- Yeah I'm kind of the rough submissive type *blushes*

Padfoot- _Eh?_

Moony- I'd probably break your cock off.

Padfoot- *nosebleeds*

Moony- Whoa Sirius! *pulls out toilet paper* Are you okay?

Padfoot- Yes I'm fine.

Moony- And why _James's_ bed?

Padfoot- Because it's the most durable I guess…

Moony- yeah well since we aren't gay it's not happening any time soon.

Padfoot- Yeah…right…*hands you a couple of Quidditch themed bed sheets*

_And that concludes another segment of this er...show? Will Sirius ever get into Moony's pants? (_HEY!_) Will Remus read more books behind Padfoot's back? _(WHAT?) _Will I stop changing the character's names? Eh...maybe :)_

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:I once again do not own once again Harry Potter once again... :D**

* * *

><p><em>Hello once again…<em>

_Question 10 comes from_ **i****mSiriuslyLupin4you**

**Hey! I think you quoted me'... With the dick breaking part... (did you?)**

Padfoot- The author has now moved to the corner of the room to avoid your fury if you find out the answer is yes.

Moony- She would also like to say that you officially quoted that I would snap in half riding Sirius so harddd…_Oh my God-_what is **_wrong_** with you girls?

Padfoot- See this is exactly why I went back to men!

Moony- You _what?_

Padfoot- Nothing! _Moving on!_

**Well how do I STOP the brainwashing? I want my baby brother back!**

Padfoot- Oh yeah…so I guess the machine didn't work…

Moony- It's actually a very hard question we asked James, Peter, my mom-

_Even my cousin!_

Padfoot- And most of them said to brainwash him yourself.

Moony- Yeah or pretend to be brainwashed yourself and maybe he'll open himself up to you and you can convince him to come out of it. Unfortunately, most people who get brainwashed don't come out of it 'till it's a little late.

Padfoot- Which sucks :(

_That didn't really help you out huh?_

_Sympathy cake?:D _*hands you a chocolate cake*

_Question 11 comes from_**Andraste Straton**

**I think I might be too obsessed with you guys and I don't know how to help it...any ideas?**

Padfoot- Why would you want to _not_ help it are you mad!

Moony- *ignoring Sirius*Like all good things this obsession will probably calm down…_probably._

Padfoot- *ignoring Moony* No it won't you'll love me _forever_ because I am _Sirius Black_ heir to the Black Throne!

Moony- Don't you mean _ex _heir?

Padfoot- Quiet you!

Moony- *glares at Padfoot* I guess you should try to explore other characters and try to get used to some other _best friends_.

_She's talking about you guys being gay for each other- duh!_

Moony- o_=

Padfoot-…gay?

_Urgggg! Question 12 comes from _**Zora's revolve**

**Yay! I got Sirius Remus puppies! *snuggles***

Moony- Glad you're enjoying them :D

Padfoot- Yes but watch out Padfoot Jr. is biter!

**Rumblerore!**

Moony- Doesn't she mean Dumbledore?

Padfoot- *snorts*Typos…

**Do you think Jacob Black is your l-**

Moony& Padfoot- o_0 ?

**Sorry, me accidentally hit review before I was done! ^^;**

**I was GOING to ask, before I was so rudely interrupted!**

**Do you think Jacob Black is your love child?**

**'cause his last name is Black and he's a werewolf.**

**Hahahahaha I'm so clever! Hahahahahahagahahaha!**

**PUPIES!**

**Well, back to the asylum for me! Toodles!**

Padfoot - Jacob _Black?_

Moony - _Love_ child?

Padfoot- Jacob…not a bad name he's sounds like this far off cousin I have he's always trying to get this girl name Isabella or something.

Moony- No I don't think he's our love child me and Sirius have never actually made love.

Padfoot- (_yet_)

Moony- Did you just-

Padfoot- *ignores Moony*But we have made love potions! *hands you love potion* *glances at Moony* What?

Moony- Nothing—nothing at all. And is Jacob _really_ a werewolf or claimed to be one just because he can morph into a big wolf and kill…hm I don't know—_vampires_ perhaps?

Padfoot- I agree with Moony and you live in an asylum? How on earth do you feed the puppies? Unless…they're insane too…? 0_o

Moony- _Really_ Sirius _really?_

_Question 13 comes from_ **parakeetwuvs**

**I asked about James' bed in particular because I think the look on his face after catching you two in his bed would be priceless.**

Padfoot- Heh! His face would be hilarious! He'd probably be like "EWW WHAT THE HELL?"

Moony- No comment.

Padfoot- No comment? I can see you smiling over there! Who you think you're fooling?

Moony- Shut up *still smiling*

**Anyway, if you had to be an inanimate object for the rest of your life, which would you choose?**

Padfoot- A chocolate bar so Moony can eat me!

Moony- Into cannibalism now?

Padfoot- Yes anything for you Moon-Moons

*James in the background "Moon-Moons? HAHAHA!"*

Moony- Shut up James!

Padfoot- Yeah go away this is Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column not Two Canines and One Idiot Bambi Advice Column…_idiot_.

*You guys are so LAME!*

Moony& Padfoot- GET OUT PRONGS!

*_Okay _geez…*

Moony- Well I'd probably be a book it'd be nice to be read and enjoyed.

Padfoot- Nasty Moony I knew you liked being opened!

Moony- Yes Pads, I do especially you. Wink wink.

Padfoot- Mate it kills it if you actually say and do the motion.

Moony- Oh well you know what I mean.

Padfoot- Fair enough.

**(And, Sirius, are you aware that McGonagall makes her own wank mags consisting entirely of you and your grades/pranks/essays/etc?)**

Moony- I'm afraid Padfoot has now joined the author in the corner and is currently throwing up in a bucket yelling "Prongs was right!" Therefore he is unable to comment.*hands you a chocolate bar, a book called Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, and some wank mags*

30 MINUTES LATER

_Er…okay so Question 14 comes from _**TechNomaNcer28**

**XD! Why, thank you for those lovely books!*off to read them with images of Moony and Padfoot***

Padfoot- Oh my God it's that XD Chick!

Moony- _XD Chick?_

Padfoot- Yeah it's her nickname I branded her with.

Moony- *shrugs* Okay. And why do you have images of us?

Padfoot- There are plenty of stalkers out in the world, Moonsicle.

Moony- *slightly creeped out*

**Of course I'm still hoping Moony gets to go all out with Padfoot on Jamie's bed, Lol!**

Padfoot- *nosebleeds with reminiscing of the last time*

Moony- Er…_eh?_

Padfoot- You know Moony *wipes nose* if they really want us to…

Moony- You actually want me to…

Padfoot- Why not?

Moony- *breathes*Sirius…

Padfoot- *in anticipation*_Yes?_

Moony- Um…sure but just not on James's bed.

Padfoot- Fine with me! :D

**Hey hey Padfoot, have you ever tried Pringles Ketchup flavour? Oh wait, do you even know what that is?**

Moony- Padfoot?

Padfoot- *still in daze at the thought of sleeping with Moony*

Moony- One moment please *leaves to bathroom*

A COUPLE SECONDS LATER

Moony- PADFOOT!*dunks water on head*

Padfoot- *sputters* HUH?

Moony- She asked you a question!

Padfoot- Oh sorry! Um actually yes I have tried them living with Peter has its privileges. They're okay but I prefer BBQ!

Moony- Well if anyone cares about _my_ opinion…I like Sour cream and onion.

Padfoot- Here you go XD Chick! *hands you the three types of Pringles mentioned*

_And that concludes our show thing—whatever. And you two better have some hot sweaty smex when I come back!_

Moony- What? *blushes madly*

Padfoot- Aye aye, Captain!*salutes like a sailor*

* * *

><p><strong>AN:...Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I hate waking up this early -_-**

* * *

><p><em>Hola! Bienvenidos a-<em>

_LOL I can't do it! Anyways hello welcome to another installment of Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column!_

_Question 15…uh—comment? Comes from_**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

***eats cake sadly* Alas... Tis too late for mine beloved brother... He hath joined the forces of the dark and gangsta wannabes... I drown in woe and sorrow as I think of his lost soul. The sun sets on the eve of our short time as true kin... Now the blood running through out veins is the one thing that binds us and claims us family. He drifts away in a haze of PS3's and Nikki Menage whilst I drown my sorrows in tea, hot chocolate and Shakespeare... Adiu Dearest Brother... Adiu Adiu Adiu...**

**Sorry about that... *blushes* I tend to get poetic when I'm sad...**

Moony-Wow that was beautiful!

Padfoot- Ah the throes of teenage angst…

Moony- *wtf? look* So ignoring that I'm glad you enjoyed the cake?

Padfoot- It's okay you aren't alone *eats cake sadly as well*

Moony- Where did you get that?

Padfoot- *shrugs* Found it.

Moony- Ew.

_Question 16 comes from _**Zora's revolve**

**Hello!**

Moony- Hi!

Padfoot- 'sup

**How do I feed them you ask. I feed them... WITH MY MIND!**

Moony & Padfoot- o_0

**Hmmm... Jacob Black is a wanna be werewolf that huts pixies... I think...**

**Why are my toes speaking to me?**

Moony- So he wasn't a werewolf I KNEW IT!

Padfoot- Wow Moony haven't seen you this boastful since you bet James 80 sickles that the Chudley Canons would lose.

Moony- Oh yeah that guy still owes me money.

Padfoot- Oops Prongs is gonna be mad at me…

Moony- You got that right.

Padfoot- *shrugs again*Oh well. Anywhoooo…Simple really your toes talk you because they have a lot to say.

Moony- No Padfoot*eye twitch* Her toes talk to her because if you remember she lives in an insane asylum.

Padfoot- Oh yeah…

**Mr. Black, I require your thoughts in this matter:**

**Do you think my dog is prego or just fat and bitchy? *holds up d-**

Padfoot- Uhh…?

Moony- Technical difficulties?

_Oh come on you know what she meant!_

Padfoot- Well yeah but…

_Just answer the question!_

Padfoot- If its nipples are really noticeable then it's probably prego if not you should probably wait a few weeks and if not then it's just fat and bitchy.

Moony- Gross that was too much information!

Padfoot- She needed the help!

Moony- Still!

_Question 17 comes from_ **catman**

**my name is catman (is a female mind you) today i wanted mashed potatoes went to go get the potatoes from the pantry and they were rotten and stinky. not only that three of them fell to the ground and exploded on the floor...what should i eat now? i really wanted those mashed potatoes too, its what i eat when i write yummy porn about you two...i mean uh...um... -flees-**

Moony- I recommend chocolate but that's me. It helps me study and do homework.

Padfoot- I recommend for porn writing something sexual…like bananas!

Moony- So when I see you writing with a banana in you mouth your actually porn writing?

Padfoot-…sometimes.

Moony- Wait you're writing porn about us? *finally realised the last part*

Padfoot- For the last time me and Moony are not gay!

Moony- Exactly!

_Rrriight…Last Question comes from_ **Lexis-RandomThoughts Mo**

**Okay, there's a jackass in my school who is completely insane (well, bipolar is more accurate) and continuously bothers my best friend and my boyfriend. How can I make her fuck off?  
><strong>

Moony- tell your teacher you shouldn't put up with that!

Padfoot- Play a prank on him like Levicorpus or something!

Moony- Padfoot the people here are Muggles.

Padfoot- Oh yeah…well then go up to him look him in the eyes and tell him to **** off or you'll **** him off yourself.

Moony- SIRIUS! You can't say that here!

Padfoot- Why not? It is M- rated.

Moony- still I don't approve of you using those words.

Padfoot- fine…

**Btw, ILY Remus :D**

Moony- Thank you I like being loved ^_^

Padfoot- **** off get the **** away from my Moony or I'll **** you up so bad you'll *******piss your pants!

Moony- SIRIUS _MOTHERFUCKING_ BLACK! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU CAN'T GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE OFF LIKE THAT ITS RUDE!

Padfoot- but…*grins evilly* You just did…

Moony- *pwned* yes but…**** me…

_So now that we are done I want to ask the question everyone's wondering…_

_Did you two shag?_

Padfoot & Moony- *blush*

_YAYYY! Fangirls in the world rejoice._

Padfoot- I mean we did but it's not like we're dating or something!

Moony- Yeah* pfftt*

Padfoot- Exactly right…*tightens grip on Moony's hand from under the table*

_I think I just died!*dies of cuteness*_


	6. Chapter 6

**So we had like rough rain right now and I was working on this and the computer cut me off halfway and I yelled and my mom said "Calm down it's not even that important." I just gaped at her. My own mother said fanfiction wasn't important! (Granted she doesn't know what this is but still!) *Still in shock...*:O**

* * *

><p><em>Question 19 comes from<em> **TechNomaNcer28****-**

Padfoot- Whoa already and I thought you died?

_**What did I say about interrupting me!**_

Padfoot- *hides behind Moony* Sorry ma'am.

_I thought so…besides I'm a fangirl we're immortal._

**Oh my god heyyyyy! Yay yay you guys totally shagged! *flies away to happy land***

Padfoot_- What?_

Moony- No we didn't.

_Still playing this game?_

Padfoot & Moony- *blush* NO!

_Uh-huh _

**XD girl's back yeah! Oh my god, I have this weird problem and probably Padfoot has no idea about it so Moony lovvvvve, here's the thing-I can't make myself go near a telephone because I get too lazy to talk and get freaked out about talking too long on the phone? O_o! Moooonnnyyy!**

Padfoot- What does she mean? She sure talks fast…

Moony- She means she can't seem to talk less on the phone.

Padfoot- I can see why that'd be a problem…

Moony- Well you could tell the person you're on the phone with that you need to get off because of your excessive talking or you can find reasons to get off like 'I need to go to the bathroom, to bed, to eat etc.'

Padfoot- Or you could leave the house and not talk to anyone.

Moony- That's kind of rude.

Padfoot- You're the one telling XD Chick to lie about stuff.

Moony- Touché *hands XD Chick a sticker of a phone* Sorry budget cuts!

Padfoot- Moony…what's a _phone?_

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- :D?

_Question 20 comes from _**WeaslyTwin3Some**

**Ok, so say you guuys WERE together *wink wink*, how would you tell James? I mean he has to find out sooner or later.**

Padfoot- Oh yeah Moony, how are we gonna tell James?

Moony- The best thing we can do is sit him down and tell him.

Padfoot- Or…*devilish grin* we could shag on his bed!

Moony- *blushes* Or we could do that.

_Please do it that way! It would make us very happy!_

Moony- Define '_us_'

_The world…of Wolfstar!_

Padfoot- C'mon Moony it's for a good cause

Moony- We'll discuss this later.

Padfoot & _Narrator_- Fine.

**And I have to know, who was on top? Most people think it would be Sirius, but I have a feeling Remus has a hidden master/servant complex.**

Padfoot- *snorts* Yeah right!

Moony- *hmphs*

Padfoot- Face it Moony you were meant to be bottom.

Moony- One of these days Padfoot, one of these days *shakes fist at him*

Padfoot- *rolls eyes* Yeah yeah to the moon.

Moony- No…I'm going to get to top.

Padfoot- Oh…*laughs* As if!

Moony- As if? You damn well know I was meant to top I have the bigger-

_Hoo-kay too much information, shame on you Moony I thought you knew better!_

Moony- I speak out against injustice and having a bigger cock and not using it is an injustice.

Padfoot- Yours isn't bigger merely longer mine is thicker, juic-

_Enough! This is not a topic to be discussing in an Advice Column!_

Moony & Padfoot- Its rated M!

_*ignoring them* Question 21 comes from_ **catman**

**messers padfoot and moony, i would like to say that you two are not gay -cough-yeah...right-cough-**

Padfoot- This isn't over Lupin.

Moony- Same here Black.

_Please no more my virgin ears are bleeding._

Moony- Why is everyone commenting on our 'friendship'

Padfoot- Yeah I mean just because we shagged doesn't mean anything.

Moony- Right and it was a very good shag.

Padfoot- Indeed it was even the after shag too.

Moony- Ah yes.

_After shag?_

Padfoot- You know the sex after the original sex?

Moony- Like when they wake up and shower together? *hint hint*

_Oh! *nosebleeds* You two…_

Padfoot- O-of course not!

_But you just said-_

Moony- No he didn't!

Padfoot- Yeah no I didn't!

_?_

**but now I has another question. should i so like bring the whips and chains with me when i go camping with my boyfriend, or should i go and 'rough it' with him, if you know what i mean -leers- yes, i am a pervert at heart...oh! a PWP has hit me of the both of you in the woods...with chains...and bananas...and a plunger! even if you say you're not gay...-flees-**

Moony- No comment…

Padfoot- Wow?

Moony- I guess if your boyfriend is into that 'freaky shit' whatever teens call that today you could bring that…?

Padfoot- …A _plunger?_

Moony- Chains…

Padfoot- And stop fleeing the scene!

Moony- What?

Padfoot- Look at her she's fleeing the scene!*points in the general direction*

Moony- Um okay…Hey Sirius?

Padfoot- Yeah?

Moony- Keep bananas away from me for... a while.

Padfoot- Okay Moon-pie.*hands catman a banana instead*

_Traumatic? Question 22 comes from_ **elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot: I was wondering if you two are dating not that I'm implying you're, how many times per day would you shag.**

Padfoot- Twice a day!

Moony- None!

Padfoot- Huh?

Moony- If I'm going to have a _thingy_ up my arse twice a day I'll break in half.

Padfoot-Hee hee you're so frail Rem.

Moony- Quiet you.

Padfoot- Okay then how about once a day.

Moony- Once a month.

Padfoot- Six times a month.

Moony- Four times a month.

Padfoot- ONCE a week and that's my final offer!

Moony-…fine.

Padfoot- *naked victory dances*

Moony- Sit down and put your pants up!

_Whoa it is thicker and – _

Moony- *hurriedly* More questions please!

**And another question to you Monny do you like chocolate or books or Sirius more? Love you Remus.**

Padfoot- *fully clothed again* Heh Monny. (And stay away from my Monny!)

Moony- Shut up! (And it's _Moony_, Padfeet)

Padfoot- This answer is so obvious though-

Moony & Padfoot *at the same time*- Chocolate. Sirius.

Moony & Padfoot- _Huh?_

Padfoot- Moony I can't believe you…I think I'm going to cry!

Moony- Geez you seem depressed considering I picked you.

Padfoot- *sniffles* It's like an honor! Remus…I _love_ you! * squeals hugging Remus to death*

Moony- *claustrophobic* Sirius let go—Sirius?

Padfoot- *hugs tighter*

_Awww so cute._

Moony- But we still aren't gay right?

_-_- Give it up already!_

Moony & Padfoot – NO!

_*sighs* Tune in for another segment of this…show? Lizard out PEACE!_

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah...its done...yeah...why are you still reading this its over...and you're STILL reading this. Ha ha I'll leave now :)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay so right now at this moment I am living with my aunt because all the power in my house went out from the storm, (a tree branch killed the power line) so I'm doing this from their computer which is _sooo _slow!**

**So IDK when its coming back so bear with me on the other stories I have. I would try to type some on this computer but this took me ages and it isn't even that long so you can see my pedicament.**

**Wah I miss my house!**

* * *

><p><em>So here we go again…<em>

_Question 23 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**Wait... I'm confuzzled. Are you two DATING or just SHAGGING?**

Moony & Padfoot *at the same time*- We're not shagging! We're not dating!

_Let me answer this—they're doing both. (Damn canines won't accept their love)_

Padfoot- Just because you put it in parentheses doesn't mean we can't read it!

_Whateves._

**Anyway, question time! So... My brother(yes, him again) well, I've given up on trying to save his soul. So now I just try not to punch him... So Sirius how do you resist beating your brother into a bloody pulp? Cuz I don't think that I can hold on much longer…**

Padfoot- Ah yes little brothers don't we all hate them.

Moony- I don't hate mine…

Padfoot- you don't _have_ one!

Moony- Exactly :D

Padfoot- Eh? Anyways I resist beating my brother because even though he's a turd sometimes he's kind of still my brother and when he's ready to come over to the good side I'll be waiting for him. Besides I'm living with James right now so I can resist! ^_^

Moony- And if you stay clear of him it'll be easier to resist too.

Padfoot- I would always shut myself in my room.

Moony- Didn't he used to barge into your room?

Padfoot- Yeah before I added a "protection" spell.

Moony- Wouldn't you get in trouble though.

Padfoot- Yeah but who did that little twat think he was coming into _my_ room!*hands you boxing gloves—just in case*

_Question 24 comes from _**kali yugah**

**Awww so cute when you two hug! XD**

Padfoot- Well *blush* we try.

Moony- Thanks for the compliment…?

**Anyways how do I get this stalker off my back?**

**We have dated and he broke it off with me and now**

**he's always proclaiming that he loves me (similar to prongs**

**saying that he loves lily) can you help me?**

Moony- We can try.

Padfoot- The reason we said try is that we've currently been informed that James is this much closer to claiming Lily so –proclaiming someone's love actually works…sometimes.

Moony- And if you honestly liked him then maybe it's worth having another go at the relationship. But if you hated him after he broke it off then don't bother there are MANY fish in the sea.

Padfoot- Are you breaking up with me?

Moony- No when did I say that?

Padfoot- A _little _emphasis on the many there Moons.

Moony- Oh well I was just thinking if you ever decided to get bored of me…

Padfoot- NO WAY! I l_ove _you how could I ever get bored of you?

*_fangirl squeezing in background*_

_Sorry guys but I think you misunderstood the question…? She wants to get rid of a stalker…_

Moony & Padfoot- Oh!

Padfoot- Sorry off topic! Tell an older brother or a guy friend to beat him up!

Moony- What is she _Peter?_

Padfoot- Well what do you think?

Moony- Tell your teacher?

Padfoot- Weak Moon-pie weak.

Moony- Shut up! Oh I know tell him in his face that you don't like him like that and he's being a creeper. That'll surprise him and he'll leave you alone.

Padfoot- Good thinking Moon Moons! *hands you pepper spray—just in case*

_Question 25 comes from _**elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot: Hello, I'm back. And Padfoot I'm not gonna stay away from Moony you can't make me.-sticks out tongue-**

Moony- *pulling Padfoot back* Sirius No!

_Cut…CUT DAMNIT!_

_**Excuse the following message we are experiencing some technical difficulties **__(_I'm GONNA **KILL **HER!)

30 MINUTES LATER

Padfoot- I still don't see why you have to tie me up

_You're a hazard right now it's for our own safety. I can't have you going into jealous rage and attacking innocent reviewers!_

Padfoot- She's not so innocent!

Moony- Gods you're crazy thank God for that ass.

_O_0…_

**Now before things get bloody, I have a problem. You see Sasuke (My partner in crime...er... doesn't like the SBRL pairing, why doesn't she like it? And she says I'm obsessed just because all the stories I've written so far contains you, that doesn't make me obsessed, does it?**

Moony- It probably does—sorry :P

Padfoot- Being obsessed is not _always_ a bad thing-

Moony- Says the kid tied up to a _chair._

Padfoot- I'm not a kid I'm older than you!

Moony- By two months!

Padfoot- Like I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted you're going to meet a lot of people that don't like us and that's okay. Everyone has the right to their own tastes and we should respect them unless they're Snape.

Moony & _Narrator_- O_0…

Padfoot- :D

_Is the world gonna end or what?_

Padfoot- Hey I'm not always dumb!

_Yup the world's gonna end *keeping an eye out for a meteor*_

**The main question I wanted to ask you is that what can I do to get her to like SBRL?**

Moony- As Padfoot so smartly pointed out you can't make someone like something if they don't like it but you could-

Padfoot- Die trying!

Moony- No -_- you could show her it little by little and get her used to the idea.

_Yeah I remember how I found you guys *sighs* It was a fluff story then eventually I moved to the hardcore stuff! __**YEAH!**_

Moony & Padfoot- *slightly scared*

**And one more question (Yes I'm selfish, if you have a problem, then deal with it) This question is aimed at you Sirius. Which outfit will Moony look cuter in?**

a) maid outfit b)nurse outfit c)schoolgirl outfit

Padfoot- MAID! MAID!

Moony- o_= *eye twitch* Padfoot there is no way in _hell_ I'm putting on a maid outfit any time soon.

Padfoot- Ah so any time later soon right? *winks*

Moony- NO!

Padfoot- *evil glint in eye* Whatever you say Rem…

**Oh and Moony I have to agree with Sirius, you were meant to bottom. bye bye. XOXOXO-to Remus-**

Padfoot- Untie me now! I officially _love_ this person!

_Fine…*unties Sirius*_

Padfoot-*hands elliot a month free subscription to Sirius Black's Siriusly Obsessed Fangirls Club*

Moony- What! Let me at her!

_Remus!_

40 MINUTES LATER

_Okay last question 26 comes from_ **CyilEib**

**You know the whole teacher thing I talked about earlier? Yeah...IT WASN'T FUNNY AT ALL! DO YOU KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?**

***sniffle* Thumbtacks hurt. A lot. Just to let you know.**

**By the way, Sirius, you're advice sucks eggs.**

Moony- Please anyone who's watching this—do not follow Padfoot's advice.

Padfoot- My advice did not suck eggs. It was _hilarious._ Someone just doesn't have a sense of humor…*grumbles off*

Moony- *rolls his eyes at Sirius* I told you it wasn't a good idea.*hands **CyilEib **sympathy cake*

Padfoot- * leaves to sulk in the corner*

_*sighs* Look what you people did one is tied up plotting to kill anyone who thinks he should be bottom and another is sulking in the corner of his failed thumbtacks plan._

_Hehe I LOVE IT!_

* * *

><p><strong>Pity Review?<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Just because the internet's slow here doesn't mean I'll give up! *struggles with impatience* Anyways, I'm sorry if the other stories are taking to long :( **

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to yet again another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column—I wonder when I'll get tired of saying that…never!<em>

_Question 27(ah one of my favorite numbers!) comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**/ want a month free subscription to Sirius Black's Siriusly Obsessed Fangirls Club! o.o**

So I smacked him (my brother) yesterday... and I didn't even get in trouble! ^.^ It was lovely...

Padfoot- Well then here's your reward! *hands you a month free subscription to Sirius Black's Siriusly Obsessed Fangirls Club*

Moony- Padfoot! You shouldn't encourage violence!

Padfoot- But…she didn't get caught…

Moony- *sighs*

_Question 28 comes from_ **elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot: Sirius you're bipolar you know that. First you say you want to kill me then you say you love me. I'm confused then again I kind of expected that. And I'm so innocent.-gets stared maybe not so much but argh.**

Padfoot- Well had I known you were a *glances at an annoyed Moony*(that you loved me on top, I would have loved you first)

Moony- I heard that.

Padfoot- You did not *smiles at him*

Moony- *narrows eyes dangerously*

_Uh moving on…_

**And Padfoot that was such an inspirational speech.o-0.I didn't know you had it in you. Don't protest you know what I mean**

Padfoot- I most certainly do NOT! I aren't dumb!

Moony & _Lizard (Narrator)_- _-_-_

**Padfoot when you get Moony in a maid-outfit give me a pic (I say when not if because I know you).Thx Padfoot for the free subscription^-^but I didn't get one from Moony T_T. Wahh-cries-Moony hates me-cries some more-plz don't hate me Moony.-sniffles**

Moony- I swear to Merlin I will kill you Sirius if you even try!

Padfoot- But Moony! You'd look so smexy!

_That's true._

Moony- Who's side are you on!

_No one's I'm just the narrator okay!_

Padfoot- It's the least you can do after you broke the bird's heart.

Moony- I didn't…I mean—I don't hate you!

Padfoot- Really? As I remember you said you were going to kill her.

Moony-…I take it back

_And?_

Moony-*sighs* And I'm sorry.

_Good.*hands you an apology Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club subscription*_

**Anyway for my question I got a bizarre dream of a statue of my god trying to kill me with a bamboo stick. What's that supposed to mean? **

Moony- That could be telling you lots of things have you been to worship your God?

Padfoot- Oh that's right Muggles believe in things beside Merlin.

Moony- Yes Sirius they do.

Padfoot- Cool ^_^

Moony- Anyways maybe you should look it up in a dream dictionary

Padfoot- Oh one time I dreamt that I was in a detention and me and you got it on.

Moony-*blushes* T-that wasn't a dream….

Padfoot- Oh…

_Well this has become awkward…_

**See ya.-secretly gives Sirius a maid-outfit-**

Padfoot- Yay!

Moony-Sirius don't you even dare! *menacing eye twitch*

Padfoot- *looks innocent* Okay Moons.

_Question 29 comes from_ **The Erumpent Horn**

**I love you guys. All three of you: Moony, Padfoot and Lizard - you're all just amazing.**

Padfoot-I'm loved!

Moony-*modesty blush* Thank you.

_Aww! Thank you!_

Padfoot- For what you don't do anything!

_*glares at Padfoot* hmph!_

**Anyways, my question is: I have a 4 year old brother who screams really high-pitched every time he doesn't get his own way. Because I'm a muggle, I can't just put a silencing charm on him, so what do you suggest?**

Moony- I personally have never been through that but I have seen Sirius's little cousin Tonks in action and she's a…

Padfoot- Hey don't talk bad about_ my_ cousin!

Moony- I wasn't she's cute and all but-

Padfoot- Oh so now you're in _love_ with her! What are you gonna _marry_ her or something and have a _baby _named _Teddy_ some day!

Moony-No! Where did you get such a horrible idea from?

Padfoot-Uhhh…nowhere**!**

_Guys…the question?_

Moony-Well before I was rudely interrupted I was going to say that maybe you should consider calming him down distract him before he starts.

Padfoot- Or or you can buy earmuffs….or duct tape.

Moony- o_0 Please don't.

_I who personally have a little sister just leave her to the one person who can calm her down—my mom. It sucks that she has to take her but soon she'll grow out of it and maybe your brother will too._

Padfoot-*secretly hands you earmuffs*

Moony- -_- We all saw that Sirius.

**P.S: I love Wolfstar, you're my favourite pairing ever.**

_Right?_

Moony- I'm glad if you mean by best friends.

Padfoot- Yeah in a totally non- gay way.

_I hate you guys sometimes…_

_Question 30( Yay! We're middle-aged now)comes from_ **kali yugah**

**thanks for the advice guys but i decided to get a dog to try and ward him off. Surprisingly he's afraid of lassie and hootch. (if you don't know what breed they are from the names then watch the films)**

Moony- Glad to have helped!

Padfoot- Hootch?

_Hehe I know what she's talking about : )_

Padfoot- Moony!

Moony- What?

Padfoot- I know what we're gonna do today!

Moony- Let me guess watch movies about dogs -_-

Padfoot- Yes!

Question 31 comes from**Lexis-RandomThoughts Mo**

**This is hilarious.**

_Oh thank you! You know I try my best to-_

Padfoot- *shoves her out of the way* She was talking about me! And yes I am hilarious!

Moony- *shoves Sirius away* She was talking about the thing in general not you ego-maniac.

_Yeah!_

Padfoot- *hmphs* *hands you a clown costume*

Moony- Who let Padfoot give away the presents?

_*slips away innocently whistling*_

_Question 32 comes from_ **TechNomaNcer28**

**Oh you ,I know the hardships of having a bad net connection! I'll give you a cyber-hug! ahem! You know, i' thinking of officially having a XDGirl costume, yes i'll do that, thank you Padfoot *wink*!**

_Thank you! *accepts hug*_

Padfoot- *winks back*

Moony-*sits there since he wasn't called on* *crickets play in background*

**Oh so erm Moony, I er-heard that you know-er-Regulus*cough*-is sort of interested in you,as in quite a bit, you know,in the way as in he wants to hug you,kiss you and do all yummy slashy things with it true?I mean I thought you and Padfoot were shagging so-*cough*-you and Regulus?**

Moony- *jumps from shock of being picked* **_What?_** *breaks into a fit of coughing*

Padfoot- What the #*%$ !

_Moony calm down! Padfoot stop cursing!_

Moony- No one ever told me Regulus was er—_interested._

Padfoot-Moony you wouldn't!

Moony- Of course not!

Padfoot- Good! You know because dating your best mate's brother would be weird…

Moony- Yes of course…

_You have got to be kidding me…_

Moony-So to answer your question no I didn't know about Regulus and yummy slashy things and no I'm sorry but I'm pretty loyal to Pad—I mean chocolate!

Padfoot & _Lizard_- -_-

_Question 33 comes from _**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Love the advice so far!**

_Thank you!_

Moony- Thank you. ^_^

Padfoot-*conceited like* I know right? Aren't I the best?

*no comment*

**Well, I have a dilemma. At school I'm quite shy and I don't get into trouble - ever. I also pay attention in class and get good grades. When I'm with my friends I loosen up a bit but I can never really fit in because I was apparently born 35 and get older each year - what could I do?**

Padfoot- Moony's worse he acts like a 65 year old sometimes.

Moony-No I don't *back cracks* Ah! My back!

Padfoot- I rest my case.

Moony- Oh go suck a duck! Anyways, one thing you shouldn't do is pretend to be someone you're not. I never did and I found some true friends.

Prongs- You got that right!

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- _**James?**_

Padfoot- How did you get past Kingsley(security)?

Prongs-*shrugs*

Padfoot- Well get the hell out!

Prongs- But I'm boreddddd!

_Just let him stay he can't be that bad right?_

Prongs- Hey!

Moony-…okay so, maybe you should try making some new friends who have common interests and don't seem to find you old.

Prongs- Or you could drink a lot of coffee and get all hyper around your friends!

Padfoot- Nice one James.

Padfoot & Prongs-*high-five*

Moony- No! She's not trying to act like a 5 year old like_ some_ people!

Prongs- Oh those some people!

Padfoot- Glad I'm not one of those!

Moony- *face-palms*

Okay…*hands you three friendships bracelets from the Marauders (not counting Peter)*

_Question 34 comes from_ **catman**

**alright so anyways did not go camping, i got sick as a dog! so, i have a random question...is it illegal to pour liquid nitrogen on one's sister...she's a huge pain in my vaginal channel, and i just want it so she's quiet...permanently...3 so yeah no fleeing i'ma just walk off-walks off-**

Padfoot- I get like that too! And I get fleas!

Prongs- Yup.

Moony- And _I_ have to get him to bathe =_=

Padfoot- And it's about time you didn't run away now I can hand you this *James Potter*

Prongs- What the-?

Moony- *ignoring them* Uh anyways I'm pretty sure that's illegal and I wouldn't recommend it. I'm sure you think she's a pain but everyone has those moments.

Prongs- Yeah even if this mutt tries to give me away I still love him.

Padfoot- Aw Prongsie!

Prongs- *smacks him* Ew don't get all touchy with me! Go with Moony!

Moony- No! *get squished with the love mutt* Damnit James!

Padfoot-*out of the blue* What's a vaginal channel?

_Err…Oops too late show's over thank you for so many Questions this time and join us next time!_

IT'S OVER!

* * *

><p><strong>Review?<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I'm back home *sighs* and I'll try and update quickly! But I still have homework, annoying brother who insists on getting on the comp, and the fact that I might starve since we currently have NO food! :O **

* * *

><p><em>Yo! Welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column.<em>

_Question 35 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**HEY! HOW COME ELLIOT GETS A "REMUS LUPIN'S LOOPY FANGIRL SUBSCRIPTION" TOO? AND I ONLY GET A "SIRIUS BLACK'S SIRIUSLY OBSESSED FANGIRLS SUBSCRIPTION"? DO YOU LIKE THEM MORE THAN ME? ? ?**

**That's it... I like Padfoot more than Moony... he's nicer..**

Moony-Uh…I'm sorry? And I also have to disagree with you Sirius is a bit shallow sometimes**. **

Padfoot- Nu uh!

Moony- Yah huh!

_So you're saying that you would be considered gorgeous since Sirius is dating you?_

Moony-*flusters* I-I didn't mean that!

Padfoot- Wait I thought we weren't "going" out…

Moony- Yeah! Yup exactly we aren't going out!

_Whateves…_

Moony- I'm sorry you like him more *hands you Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirls Club subscription*

_Question 36 comes from_ **Bleughqu The-human-robot**

**Hi guys! My name is Megan (gasp! Somebody on the internet said their name! Kick her out!) I would like to congratulate you on the success of your advice column/show.**

Padfoot- Hi Megan! *waves frantically*

Moony- Hello, I think it's nice you trust us with your real name ^_^

Padfoot- Our advice column is successful?

Moony- I guess so…

**As a reward, you BOTH have been selected to join the oblivious club of gay lovers, under the special denying branch. We think you will do well there.**

Padfoot- Uh actually me and Moony aren't-

_Don't you dare say it!_

Padfoot- NOT GAY!*flees*

_Damn _**catman **_taught him how to flee!_

**Question time: which cake is the yummiest cake EVER?**

Padfoot- Simple a Remus flavored cake!

Moony- That isn't a flavor!

Padfoot- Fine a Black flavored cake.

Moony- Um again that isn't a flavor…

Padfoot- : (

Moony- The yummiest cake ever is a two tiers chocolate cake ^_^

_Well that was an easy answer. I like red velvet *drools*_

**Oh and um... What would you say is the best way to abduct a canine marauder? Particularly one that enjoys sharing my chocolate as we read together in the summer sun. Not that I have anybody in mind... obviously. (shifty eyes)**

Padfoot- That sounds an awful lot like Moony…

Moony- That is me you daft dog!

Padfoot- What _another_ kidnapper? My Gods these girls Moony they'll be the death of me!

Moony- True dat.

_Talking ghetto now Remus?_

Moony- _No_ that was a typo!

_Oh…Okay :D_

Moony- -_- So I'm sorry to say Megan but I can't give you any advice to kidnap me. *Sympathy cake? :D*

Padfoot- You could borrow him for a day though… as long as you give him back! And I accompany you during your time with him.

**Love you guys! (oh and Sirius? Can you hex Absorbed for me please? There's a dear)**

Moony & Padfoot- _Absorbed?_

Wormtail- Wait*pants* wait!

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- PETER?

Wormtail- *huffs* Li-Lizard you told me to…to remind you that she meant Snape!

_Oh yeah thanks traitor now get out *kicks Wormtail out*_

Padfoot- Okay that was random…But I'd be delighted too!

Moony- Yeah he and James practically do it every day.

_Mean…I actually like Snape._

Padfoot- EWWW!You can't _like_ Snape no one can!

_-_-…_

_Question 37 comes from _**So Fly like a 3-6**

**Love this story update soon**

Moony- That uh wasn't a question…

Padfoot- Yeah…

_Shut up at least people say they love you be grateful!_

Padfoot- Whoa is it someone's time of the month already?

_*blush* SIRIUS! You aren't supposed to know that!_

Padfoot- Why not I won't tell the Ministry on you.

_What?_

Padfoot- You know that you're a werewolf.

Moony- You thought she was a _werewolf_?

Padfoot-*nods* Oh and so is Lily I heard her talking about it to her friends. In fact most girls talk about it…Merlin they must _all_ be werewolves!

Moony & _Lizard_- -_-

_*hands you an update right now*_

_Question 38 comes from_ **elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot: Woohoo Moony doesn't hate me.-does a happy I got free subscription to Moony's fanclub.-continues happy dance-.I love you Moony and no Sirius you don't have to be jealous or threaten me, I'm not going to take Moony away from you. I already accepted the fact Moony belongs to you Padfoot but if you insist on not being gay or together then...Anyway love you all the same Moony.**

Moony- This is the…*counting in head* 28th time someone told me they loved me!

Padfoot- This is my 67th! :D

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- I'm so popular! :D

Moony- God you're like the girl at school everyone hated to love.

Padfoot- Eh?

Moony- Never mind :D

**The Erumpent Horn but instead of a bro I have a sis and her screeching puts your mother to shame Sirius. Yes it's that bad. I have fantasized about ripping out her vocal cords and chopping it to pieces. But alas I can't do that because I have a X-factor, my mom.T_ she found out I did something like that she will skin me alive with a paper napkin, chop my flesh to pieces, sell my body organs and feed whatever remains of me to the nearest dog available. the earmuffs imsiriuslylupinforyu gave me helped. But any suggestions you have?**

Padfoot- *puts away the earmuffs he was about to give to you* …Dang…

Moony- o_O Wow your mom sure is creative…

Padfoot- _Duct tape?_ *holds up a roll*

Moony- No Padfoot! *smacks roll out of his hand*Well we did mention distracting them before they begin to cry just find something your sister really likes and distract her like that.

Padfoot- Yeah I remember little Regulus used to love this one rattle shaped like a snitch.

Moony- And you used it to distract him?

Padfoot- No! I broke it into pieces when that measly boy ruined my hair with his sticky fingers.

Moony- Oh…

Padfoot- *secretly hands you duct tape*

Moony- Padfoot…-_=

_Question 39 comes from_ **catman**

**-hands back James- you can has him back...all he whines about is Lily potter, hell I wanted to kill them both...**

Moony- He is a whiner.

Padfoot- Mate are you alright?

Prongs-*dusts himself off* Yeah I had a nice time. And I was about to finish my latest plot to capture my amor!

Moony- No wonder she gave you back…

Prongs-*ignores Moony*I'm going to the dormitory now. PEACE!

Padfoot- Bye James! Wait-did you say you wanted to kill them both?

Moony- o_O

**OH! HURRICANE IRENE IS COMING TO MY TOWN...should I save my valuables, or my porn stories of you two, I choose number two, there's some stories that...wow. Heh...whooo! -flees-**

Padfoot- I'm on porn? When did that happen?

Moony- She fled the scene again *sighs*

_Don't worry I'll capture her__*runs after her with a I might survive a natural disaster cake* _

_Question 40 comes from_**Andraste Straton**

**Um, hi, I just wanted to ask you, since I have a code word when me and my friends see a fit guy we say 'chocolate'...is this the same concept with you when you say you love chocolate, and is it a reference specifically to Sirius or to the fit guys you know you want in general?**

Moony- Uh no when I see a chocolate I say chocolate. When I see a hot guy I say 'I'd hit that!' but only in my mind *blushes*

Padfoot- Moony you so cute!

Moony- Well I try…*modesty blush*

Padfoot- Well when I see a hot guy I say 'Hell-oooo Smexy!'

Moony- We know—you call that out to me every day…-_-

_Ah ha! So you admit it! You are hot!_

Moony- No I'm not!

_Liar! Also you have to answer the second part of the question._

Moony- Well its mostly at hot guys in gen-

Padfoot- *le gasp* _MOONY!_

Moony- Calm down you know I'm loyal to you.*hands you a chocolate and a poster of Gary Oldman (hot guy?)*

_Question 41 comes from_**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Thanks for the advice guys! I'm starting new classes this year so I can make new friends. About the coffee...yeah, I don't drink it. I'll try energy drinks.**

Padfoot- But coffee is yummy!

Moony- Glad you appreciate _my_ advice.

Padfoot- Energy drinks are okay I guess…and Moony were you gloating?

Moony- Maybe ;D

**I think I'm going to go and read now; it's a story about these guys called the Marauders! One's chasing a girl who hates him, one has no back bone and the other two are in a secret relationship! *wink wink***

Padfoot- Hey that's kind of like us!

Moony- *sarcasm intended* No really?

_Ah ha I got you again you two are in a secret relationship! Admit it!_

Moony- No-

_Admit it!_

Padfoot- We are-

_Admit it!_

Moony & Padfoot- _**FINE!**_

_Ah see doesn't that feel good?_

Padfoot- Actually it does…*pulls Moony in for a French kiss*

Moony- Mmph!

_*nosebleeds and faints*_

* * *

><p><strong>Yes it's true Moony and Padfoot admitted itmaybe we'll get some more action next time!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey hey hey! Sorry if this took long I actually went back to my aunt's house and it was a big mess but never mind that I'm at home and here to stay so updates soon!**

**Oh and the beginning is a gift to you guys who keep reviewing thank you so much. It's just some lame lemon but it came from the heart...?**

* * *

><p>Remus watched out of the corner of his eye as Sirius continued to lick the frozen Popsicle with that languid tongue of his. He didn't bother to deny it made him hard after he had been watching for nearly 10 minutes but he coughed slightly uncomfortable with the sudden tightness in his jeans. Sirius noticed the movement and turned to his fellow Marauder.<p>

"Alright there Moony?" He teased his grey eyes sparkling in amusement. Remus looked beyond that and could see the smallest hint of desire in those eyes.

"Been better." Was his short reply. Sirius offered him a small apologetic smile as if he was the one who caused his problem and he was. But Remus wasn't about to admit that instead his mind wandered to today's advice column.

He wasn't very good on advice in his opinion he just had more common sense than Sirius. Speaking of whom was currently sucking on his ice cream like it was no one's business. The wolf in Remus seemingly howled as Sirius gave a good suck that made an obscene sound and Remus finally had to break.

With a flood of desire he pounced on Sirius and together they flew out of the chairs and onto the floor. It was bad enough he was stuck here in a room with hardly _any_ air conditioning and now he had to put up with horniness just because the Narrator had left a box of _Popsicles _here.

"Moony!" Sirius's shocked voice exclaimed not quite matching the lustful gaze he gave that was driving Remus up the wall. No one could make him get like this no one _except_ for Sirius.

"You think you could suck on whatever you want and not pay the consequences!" Remus growled licking the boy's ear giving _it _a good suck. Sirius moaned not bothering to answer as his hand slipped down to rub the werewolf's erection.

"You think you—oh Gods…" Remus shut his eyes as Sirius's expert hand toyed with his erection a quiet moan slipped out of him as Sirius ground up into him equally hard.

After a moment Sirius grew impatient and sat up only to pin the smaller boy down and rip of his clothes quickly. Remus helped Sirius move along faster and soon they were naked and panting.

"Don't take too long…" Remus ordered as he parted his legs giving Sirius the view he wanted.

Sirius nodded and delved a finger inside Remus's hole surprised to find that Remus hardly needed any preparation. _How long had they been doing this? _

Sirius couldn't remember he was cut off from his thoughts as Remus shoved his body against the finger making it clear he was more than ready.

"Okay okay I get it." Sirius chuckled removing his finger and adjusting himself just outside of Remus's entrance. He met Remus's amber eyes filled with pure animalistic need and smiled.

"Any last words?" Remus groaned closing his eyes before opening them to stare hard at him.

"Fuck me hard." He said seriously (pun intended). And without another word Sirius thrust in with a gasp.

* * *

><p><em>Konichiwa welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column<em>

_Question 42 comes from_**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**YAY! I get a 'Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirls Club subscription'! I love you Both the same now! ^.^ (Take that Elliot...)**

Padfoot- I spy a rivalry!

Moony- Now now we love you all the same.

Padfoot- I bet 100 bucks on imSiriuslyLupin4you!

Moony- …I bet on Elliot!

Padfoot- Bring it on werewolf!

_-_-Oh that's real mature…_

_Question 43 comes from _**DragongirlM**

**PRONGS VS. BAMBI XD**

Padfoot- Hmm I actually think Bambi can win this one.

Moony- No I'm pretty sure James is bigger than him.

_What is this a betting pool now?*hands you Bambi on DVD*_

_Question 44 comes from_**So Fly like a 3-6**

**I'm glad you enjoyed my love. My question is are the two of you dating yet or you still denying it. Also someone should explain the double meaning of "time of month" to Padfoot**

Moony-Uh no we aren't denying it anymore.

Padfoot- Yeah I am proud to homosexual where at least I know I'm free.

_Isn't that a song about America?_

Padfoot- Is it? *shrugs*

Moony- I also prefer not to go into the menstrual cycle with Sirius so instead I'll hand him this book *hands Sirius the woman body book*

Padfoot- *opens and begins reading*

_Yeah and here you go *hands you a copy as well*_

_Question 45 comes from_**DragongirlM**

**I want a subscription to Sirius Black's Siriusly Obsessed Fangirls Club! xD**

Moony- okay here you go *hands you one*

Padfoot-*already on page 5*

_Question 46 comes from _**elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot: Excuse me Padfoot, Severus is one of my favourite and Sirius before you get a hissy fit Moony is my no.1 favourite. **

Padfoot-*Looks up from book* Good. I mean I should be your favorite since I'm

_The_ Sirius Black but anyone that isn't Snape can be your favorite.

Moony-*smirks*

Padfoot- Don't you go getting a big head Moons.

Moony- Wouldn't dream of it Paddie.

**And Sirius the duct tape didn't work instead I got a kick in the arse. T_T. It it would seem my mom doesn't like her being gagged either. **

Padfoot- Ohhh…sorry?

_You're terrible…_

Padfoot- I know :D

**And Sirius where is the pic? If I don't get it soon then i swear i'll *insert your imagination here*.**

Padfoot- Don't worry I'm working on it.

Moony- =_-

Padfoot- ;D

**Anyway bye bye. Love you Moony.(Yes I'm going to mention that every time I review)**

Padfoot- Hmph *goes back to book

Moony- *blushes* Every time?

Padfoot- *growls*

_Question 47 comes from_** WeaslyTwin3Some**

**Ok, first of all, I never got a present for my last question. How come everybody else gets a present but me?**

_*chuckles nervously* So you did notice that…heh heh _

Padfoot- Bad Narrator!

_Yeah that was bad of me *apology cake? :D*_

Moony- Why are we always giving away cake—cake makes you fat.

Padfoot-*le gasp* Don't use such horrible words like fat and bloating!

Moony-I didn't even say bloating!

Padfoot- It's just a phase I'm not fat! *sobs and runs away*

Moony-…And they say I'm the bottom.

What is he on his period?

Moony- -_- Apparently…

**And I was wondering, what instrument would you guys play in a marching band (color guard counts)? instruments say a lot about a person's personality.**

Padfoot- *reluctantly came back* I don't play any instruments but if I did it'd be an electric guitar!

Moony- Of course it would be that.

Padfoot- Yes nothing is awesomer.

Moony- I would play a piano a good reason to put these long fingers to use.

Padfoot- I can think of a better reason.*deviant smile*

Moony- *smirks* To stretch you out?

Padfoot- No! To stretch _you_ out!

Moony- I don't think so!

Padfoot- : ( *hands you a keyboard*

_Wait wait you guys didn't read it properly (again) they meant which one would you play in a marching band!_

Padfoot- Oops…well in that case I would play that loud drum you have to carry on your chest and you bang it on the sides?

Moony- I would play a trumpet.

Padfoot- Lame.

Moony- *smacks his arm* Your lame!

Padfoot- *whimpers*

_Wow today is not your day!_

Padfoot-*glares at her* Shut up!

_:D_

_Question 48 comes from_ **LadyMarauderYoung**

**Yayy! I got you to admit it - this is a proud moment...hang on while I compose myself. That's better. Padfoot: Coffee is not yummy. It's revolting. And let Moony gloat a bit! **

Padfoot- I don't know what kind of coffee you've been exposed to but coffee is good especially when you taste it from someone's mouth.

_TMI!_

Moony- Stop saying things about our love life *blush* I mean…shut up!

And let me gloat!

Padfoot- NEVER! Mwhaha!

**That story that I mentioned earlier about the Marauders...is it wrong that I dream about them (all of them except the one with no backbone *cough Wormtail cough*)?**

Moony- You dream about us…? *slightly backing away*

Padfoot- *sings* Why you so obsessed with me girl I wanna know…

_LOL! ^_^ _

Moony- You guys are so weird…

_Naw we just had a bit of that sugary stuff made into straight rows beside that razor!_

Moony- 0_o

_*giggles* *hands you a bag of sugary stuff*_

Moony-Stop that no crack *takes it away from you hands you a pack of Sugar Quills instead*

_Question 49 comes from_ **Andraste Straton**

**(Just a note) Yeah Gary's fit but I prefer Jason (as in Isaacs as in Lucius -swoon-)**

_Okay now that I'm fine again *(hands you a poster of Luscious Mouthful instead*_

Padfoot- Hey I find that kind of offending!

Moony- Shut up you crack whore.

Padfoot- Mean Moony!

Moony- :D

_Question 50(Oh MY Gawddd we made it to Half a century! Noes way! Ahhhh :D) comes from_ **CANTLOGIN**

**Hi**

Moony- Hello.

Padfoot- Hey hey hey!

**To Moony/Remus/Lupin/Professor/Professor Lupin/First in Alphabet/Somebody Slap Me *SLAP* (Okay I'm good) and Padfoot/Sirius/Serious/Fugitive/Escaped from Azkaban/Harry's Godfather/Why can't I stop. . .**

Padfoot- Prisoner?

Moony- *Wtf?*

**Okay anyway Padfoot you do know you're dead right? You too, Moony?**

Moony- WHA…?

Padfoot- I'm dead…?

**Sirius died in the ministry and Remus was killed by a Death Eater. **

Moony- A Death Eater?

Padfoot- I was in the ministry?

**And don't say you came back as ghosts because I remember Dumbledore (or somebody else) saying that death was the next big adventure! That only people who were afraid of death could come back as ghosts! So, maybe you Moony. **

Moony- I am not afraid of death!

Padfoot- Yeah he is not!

**So my question is. . . . . How are you here doing this Fanfiction Column? Thanks!**

Moony- I think you've just told us all about the future…

Padfoot- Moony…*whimpers* Let's run away to Neverland!

_I guess I should answer this while these two sit there traumatized. Simple really—I stole a time turner went back in time found the puppies and asked them nicely…with a couple of bribes of course…_

_*hands you a bribe to keep you quiet about the stealing thing*_

_Question 51 comes from_** Rainbow Patrol**

**Gotta agree with LadyMarauderYoung about the coffee note...**

Padfoot- What I like coffee is that such a bad thing!

Moony-*muttering to self* We're all gonna die we're all gonna die.

Padfoot- Moony?

**Aside from the fact that my girlfriend's called Coffee and she's very yummy, but of course both you guys would forever disagree with me on that one!**

Moony- *snaps out of trance* You got that right!

Padfoot- Moony *hugs him* I thought you went crazy! And yes that thought of a girl being yummy is disagreeable!

**Anyways, for my question, you guys are switchers, right? I mean, it's quite obvious that you've got Padfoot wrapped around your fingers whenever you want him Moony... **

Moony- It's true.

Padfoot- No it isn't I'm a grown ass man I can have sex when I want…if it's okay with you love

_Haha whipped!_

**I bet you could pull off sex refusal for far longer than paddy if you actually tried XD hehee *hands Moony a list of other 'How To Torture Your Animagus Lover Into Cleaning His Act Up' options* *evil laugh* **

Padfoot- Moony NOOO! *throws himself at him*

Moony- Oof let go you mutt!

**Sorry Pads but I'm sure you deserve it at times! And Moony lemme know if sex refusing works as good for you as it does for me!**

Moony- Will do ^_^

Padfoot- Evil Moony!

_Question 52 comes from_**T. XD**

**Lol.. i love your advice column, i think it's pure genius.. love you guys, all three of you!**

Moony- Thank you!

Padfoot- Yes 68! And how many for you Moon Moons

Moony- 30 -_-

Padfoot- Yes I win!

Moony- *sighs in defeat*

_On another note thank you I am the genius behind it of course!_

Padfoot- -_-

_What? You don't take me for one?_

Padfoot- Hardly…

_*scoffs*_

**Question: All my little brother and sister ever do is argue.. i'm quite close to either cruciatus-ing them or avada kedavra-ing myself.. what do you suggest?  
><strong>

Padfoot- Cruciate them I'd hate to see one of my fans go to jail.

Moony- *glares at Padfoot* No Pads, we don't suggest that? And why do so many people have sibling problems?

Padfoot- Because siblings are problems themselves.

Moony- That makes no sense…

Padfoot- You make no sense.

Moony- -_-?

Padfoot- ^_^**  
><strong>

Moony- well anyways the advice we have for you is try to be the peacemaker and help them with their argument or distract them before they go at it

Padfoot- Or duct tape! :D

Moony- No Padfoot no more tape.

Padfoot- Awww : (

**Xx**

Moony-* blushes* *hands you a kiss back*

Padfoot- *winks* *hands you a kiss as well*

_Question 53 comes from_** Viper's little Devil**

**here's one from an OC of mine**

Moony- Okay.

Padfoot- Shoot!

**Hi, I'm Nancy Black. I'm from the future and I am Sirius's daughter Now one question. DADDY WHY ARE YOU NOT IN MY LIFE?**

Padfoot-Er…do I know you?

Moony- So…you had a daughter and abandoned her! Bad dog! *smacks Sirius's nose with a rolled up newspaper*

Padfoot- I'm sorry…_honey?_ The reason is unknown to me as well since I don't even remember having you. Sympathy Doll? *hands you a Barbie*

_Last Question comes from_ **catman**

**Hey! i got cake! oh! yes, yes i digress, well, apparently this hurricane is suppose to only get worse before it hits my town, so before i evacuate and be without internet for a few days...(hoping for a few weeks!) i would like to ask is it natural for your pee-pee to touch your who-haw? I mean doesn't everyone have both? ...no...uh...-flees-**

**PS. if i don't survive (I will...the bill collectors won't let me be killed) my pre-dying wish would be for you two to do a hot homoerotic movie for me to watch in heaven...pwease?**

Moony- I promise. And no that isn't natural unless you're a hermaphodite...

Padfoot- What Moony you actually promised that?

Moony- She might die it's the least we can do

Padfoot- Okay! :D

__Well that was awkward…and make me a copy too! BYE!__

* * *

><strong>catman I heard about Hurricane Irene and I'm actually worried please surrvive!<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Wow I actually have nothing to say right now...hmm...**

**I have an apple :D**

* * *

><p><em>And here we are…welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column<em>

_Question 55 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**YES! Bet on ME, Padfoot! For I am a CHAMPION! And I shalt not let you down! GO TEAM PADFOOT!  
><strong>

Padfoot-Yes! Haha! Team Padfoot!

Moony-Cheater we never established teams!

**And Moony... I am honestly very disappointed in you. I thought that you were the sensible one... You have let me' down. *shakes head***

Moony-You mean Padfoot has let you down he was the one who started it!

_Are you…you're totally playing the blame game! Moony I'm disappointed as well._

Moony-*eye twitching* Listen here you don't know what I have to put up with! I learned how to survive!

_O-okay…0_o *hands you a Team Padfoot Shirt*_

_Question 56 comes from_ **elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot: YES! Moony voted for me.-squeals like the fangirl she 't mind whatever imsiriuslylupinforyou say, you are the sensible one. You voted for me remember.**

_Really you guys? Puppy rivalry?_

Moony- You heard her Padfoot Team Moony all the way!

Padfoot- Oh it's on!

**Anyway to answer your question Remus there are so many sibling problems because siblings are creations of the devil who were sent on earth to torture us. **

Moony- Really? Well thank Gods I don't have one.

Padfoot- *envious*Yes thank the gods.

Moony- -_-

**Back to subject. Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity. What are the rest?**

Moony- Talking to animals has got to be the second one. Talking to inanimate objects is the third and talking to Padfoot is the last. ^_^

Padfoot- Hey! I resent that Moony!

**And congratulations on finally admitting you're gay you two.**

**P**adfoot-Thanks a lot…_traitor_…

Moony- Leave Elliot alone!

Padfoot & Moony- *growling at each other*

_Look at what you two did to my puppies! Wah!_

**Bye bye. Love you Remus.(Sirius no need to be jealous. And I'm disappointed in you)**

Padfoot- That's it!

_Padfoot no!_

40 MINUTES LATER

Padfoot- Let me out of here!

_No! You deserve to be tied up._

Moony- Er…I get why he needs to be tied up but why am _I _tied up again?

_Sorry. I couldn't take any chances. *hands Elliot a Team Moony shirt*_

_Question 57 comes from _**T. XD**

**Aww don't be sad Moony, i love you both equally!**

Moony- Well thank you all love is appreciated ^_^

Padfoot-Suck up.

Moony- -_-…

Padfoot- I'm still winning…:D

Moony- I am this close to killing you…

**The only thing that ever distracts those two is food.. and i don't really fancy cleaning out the cupboards just to shut them up.. any other suggestions?... Although Padfoots duct tape idea might be worth a try...**

Padfoot- Of course it is…everything todo with me is worth a try.

Moony-*scoffs* Hardly.

Padfoot-*mean-mugging him*

No comment for me…

Padfoot-*hands you a roll of duct tape secretly* Don't get caught!

Moony- *sighs*

**Omg i got a kiss of Moony and Padfoot *faints***

Padfoot- Well I do cause a major swooning effect.

Moony- I don't think so I think she fainted from your dog breath.

Padfoot- Grrrr

Moony- Or from your wet dog smell or from-

Padfoot-*throws himself (chair and all) at Moony* ARRGHHH!

Moony- AHHH!

_Stop you two!_

1 HOUR LATER

**P.S. May i have a puppy love sandwich? pretty please? XD**

Padfoot- Riddle's right why are we fighting? Sure I may be more loved and more sexually experienced and basically better than anyone here-

Moony & _Lizard_- -_-

Padfoot-But does that really compare to our love?

Moony- I guess not…

Padfoot- Puppy Love Sandwich?

Moony- Puppy Love Sandwich : )

_*_**T. XD**_ stands in the middle _Moony _hugs her from the right and _Padfoot_ from the left Lizard tries to cling to _Padfoot_ but is pushed away*_

_There don't you guys feel better now?_

Moony & Padfoot- Yes!

**Xx**

Moony-*shyly accepts his*

Padfoot-*boldly accepts his*

_Question 58 comes from_** LadyMarauderYoung**

**The whole coffee in the mouth thing...I like the idea but just not with coffee! What about hot chocolate? Or just melted chocolate...**

Padfoot-*smiles evilly at Remus* What do ya say Moony?

Moony-It's uh…very tempting…*drools slightly* I'll think about it.

Padfoot- *in a sing-song tone*That means yeeesss!

**Anyway, don't be scared that I dream about that - my dreams make nice stories about you! **

Moony- Okay as long as you don't—you know beat me to death *shudders*

Padfoot- Or make me marry Snape *double shudder*

**My question is sort of a game. Out of the following, who would you SNOG, MARRY or STUPEFY out of: **

**James Potter, Frank Longbottom and Peter Traitor Pettigrew? And yes, I left you two out of the list for a reason!**

Padfoot- Why did she leave us two out?

Moony- So I wouldn't be tempted to do all three to you Paddy.

Padfoot- Awww you wanna marry me and…Moony!

Moony-:D

Padfoot- Ignoring your adorable mean-ness I vote that James gets to have a good snog by yours truly. You Moons?

Moony- Same. James is pretty handsome.

Padfoot- Yes but not beautiful handsome just pretty.

Moony-_Rrriight…_

Padfoot- : ) So Longbottom…I guess I would have to snog him too. I wonder what it would be like to marry him. I should ask Alice…

Moony- I pick snog too…actually*blushes* I kind of had a _small_ crush on him…

Padfoot- WHAT?

Moony- Yeah it was back in 4th year before he proclaimed his love to Alice…

Padfoot- Moony what the hell? You liked _Longbottom?_

Moony- It was a different time back then!

Padfoot- It was like 3 years ago!

Moony- Shut up *voice cracked*

_Whoa someone hit puberty! Hehe…_

Moony & Padfoot- -_-

Padfoot- ANYWAYS! Peter is definetly a stupefy.

Moony- Siirus that's rude Peter's our loyal friend.

Padfoot- You'd want to marry that?

Moony-…Good point…

_Question 59 comes from_ **Viper's little Devil**

**Me again, Daddy! Thanks for the Barbie doll. **

Padfoot- Oh…hello…_you_…

Moony- Hi Nancy ^_^

**Apparently I was born a few months after you were sent to Azkaban. For no reason too! **

Padfoot- Oh so aren't you a bit _old_ for dolls?

Moony- Wait a minute did you cheat on me because I _assumed_ we were going to be together after school…

Padfoot- What I would _never_ cheat on you! It was probably a surrogate mother we paid for.

Moony- It better be…

**Anyway...There is this cute Slytherin in my class... Can I ask him out?**

Padfoot- _**NO NO NOOO!**_

Moony- Why not?

Padfoot-Because Slytherins are slimy, evil, rude-

Moony- You don't know that!

Padfoot-_**DADDY SAYS NO!**_

Moony-*sighs* Sorry Nancy you're father acts like a stubborn kneazle sometimes.

Padfoot-*huffs* I do not!

Moony- Yeah yeah.

_Question 59 comes_ _from _**Ecclestein**

**How many galleons do the Sirius Black's Siriusly Obsessed Fangirl Club and Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club Subscriptions cost? Because it seems to me that they'd be worth millions (Moony's more so than Padfoot's).**

Padfoot- What are you trying to say?

Moony- She's trying to say that she's Team Moony!

Padfoot-Well my club is worth more than yours. So there! *sticks out tongue*

Moony- No it's not!

Padfoot- Yes it is! It's worth a million galleons!

Moony- Mine's worth one _billion _galleons!

Padfoot- Oh yeah? Well mine's worth one gazillion bazillion infinity! Ha I win!

Moony- *hmphs*

…_You guys are weirdoes…_

_Anyways Bye bye _

_XOXO_

_Lizard Girl_

* * *

><p><strong>You know what there really should be a Team Padfoot and Team Moony thing! I personally would be Team Moony but here I'm neutral so don't worry about me getting into a Moony Fangirl Rage :D (LOL with the power of superhuman werewolf strength!)<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So here we are...yup...oh um I didn't go to school today so instead of relaxing in bed(since I'm sick =_=) I have to take of *looks over shoulder* the _demon_ child... :O Oh no!**

* * *

><p><em>Hi ho! Hi ho! Welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column .Hi ho!<em>

_Question 60 comes from_ **Viper's little Devil**

**Okay... I didn't ask him out. Draco asked me out! *biggest smile in the world***

Padfoot- What! NO! Daddy said No!

Moony- Ah daughter rebellion.

Padfoot- Lizard hand me the time turner I'm going to KILL this kid!

_Now now! *nervous chuckle*_

**And I asked my mom and she said that it was a drunken threesome... What's a threesome? Because Mom wouldn't tell me and I asked Uncle Severus and he gave me a weird look. I guess it comes with being in Gryffindor like you.**

Padfoot- I had a threesome?

Moony- So you do like sharing me on occasion…

Padfoot- And why on earth is Snivellus your uncle! I condemn that no daughter of mine would talk to the slimy git!

_Now you're being immature -_-_

Padfoot- *ignores her*While I'm proud you're a Gryffindor I _**FORBID**_ you to hang out with Slytherins of any kind okay?

Moony- *snorts*(Like she'll listen…)

Padfoot- What? What did you say?

Moony- Nothing! :D

_Question 61 comes from_ **Lexis-RandomThoughts Mo**

***puts on clown costume* Oh yeah, time to traumatize some small children by watching them sleep, and then wake them up by screaming! I'M AN EVIL CLOWN! BWAHAHAHAHAA-huh? oh erm, right. The question. Uhh...Remus: Exactly what kind of books do you read?**

Moony- All kinds…

Padfoot- Especially boy's love ones-do you deny it Moons!

Moony- *blushing*…No—I don't deny it…

Padfoot- I knew it!

**Heh heh... and Sirius (cuz I'm greedy), where do you like Remus to finish?HORMONESFTW**

Padfoot- What does she mean by that?

Moony- I honestly don't want to know -_-

_I think she means…_

Moony & Padfoot- Ohh!

Padfoot- Well on the bed since its most comfortable though the bathroom stalls aren't that bad…

Moony- Says the rammer! My back is killing me!

Padfoot-*sighs* Moony we've already established that you're 65 in disguise remember?

Moony-*shoots him a glare*

_Question 62 comes from_ **Ecclestein**

**Me again! There SHOULD be Team Moony and Team Padfoot, don't you think?**

Padfoot- Yes I do think and everyone could vote for me!

Moony- Or or or! You could be sensible and vote for me!

Padfoot- Yeah sure.

Moony- Are you being sarcastic?

Padfoot- Er…_no?_

Moony- I thought so.

**And speaking of teams: Team Jacob or Team Edward?**

Moony- Team Jacob!

Padfoot- Team Edward!

_Oh boy here we go…_

Padfoot- Moony I am outraged how could you pick that whiny 16 year old!

Moony- Well how could you pick that dead glittery corpse instead of a wolf?

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- -_-

_-_-…__Moving on! _

_Question 63 comes from_ **i****mSiriuslyLupin4you**

**What is This blasphemy I keep hearing about Team Moony being better than Team Padfoot? Because EVERYONE with ANY sense loves Team Padfoot. You know why? Because we have Sirius Black. And Sirius Black is awesome. Sirius Black makes his enemies look like fried eggs. Sirius Black makes Veelas look like Severus Snape, and Severus Snape look like an itty bitty turtle turd. Sirius Black is a BAMF. Sirius Black is a friggin DOG!**

Padfoot- Ahhhh I love you!

Moony- -_-…I highly doubt what I said was _blasphemy_…

**And Moony... Well he's cute in a way.**

Moony- : 0

**And btw, Sirius Black's Siriusly Obsessed Fangirl subscription is worth WAY more then that other one! (see, I can't even remember the name!)**

Moony-*slowly going into Moony Rage*

**Bye Padfoot! ^.^**

Padfoot- Bye! :D

**...Moony...**

Moony-*severe eye twitching*

_*Lizard backs away slowly*_

_Uhh Question 64 comes from _**So Fly like a 3-6**

**Where can you get Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club Subscriptions because I'm totally team Moony. Love you guys!**

Padfoot- What?

Moony-*suddenly brightens*Thank you!

Padfoot- *hmphs* Another person with no sense!

Moony-*death glare*

Padfoot-Uh…I mean…Yay! Good for ya Moons!

Moony-*smug grin* *hands you a Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club Subscriptions*

_Question 65 comes from_ **LadyMarauderYoung**

**Relax guys, I don't beat you to death or make you marry Snape. *Shudder***

Padfoot- *sigh of relief* Thank Merlin you won't!

Moony- Yes it is quite a relief I won't be beaten to death!

**I should so write a story about the whole chocolate thing...Can I ask for your opinion? Who would lick the chocolate out of the others mouth? I'd say Padfoot but then again, Moony might be jealous that he hasn't got any chocolate...**

Padfoot- I'm willing to sacrifice my mouth for the good of Remus.

Remus- No, I'll do it wouldn't want to bruise your mouth _again_ with my tongue would I?

Padfoot-*gulps* No sir.

_O_0…What the…what do you have an iron tongue or what?_

Moony-*smiles*Did I mean tongue? I meant-

_Lalalalalala*sings*Can't hear you!_

Padfoot-Moony you're out of control…I like it!

Moony- ^_^

_Last Question 66 comes from_ **T. XD**

**I'm not a suck up Padfoot! I'm truthful..**

Padfoot- Sure you are*sarcasm intended*…

Moony- Ignore him.(He's not very bright)(I _heard_ that) (:D)

**I tried the duct tape (or sellotape as i call it).. but my mum got mad, so what now? I realise i wasn't supposed to get caught but im really not that stealthy..  
><strong>

Padfoot-I would offer taking some ninja classes but I think Muggles can't afford those….

Moony- Do you _hear _yourself sometimes?

**Aw i fainted because you're both so hot :)**

YAYYYY! I got a puppylove sandwhich and there's so much love :)

Padfoot- Well love is all you need!

Moony- Cheesy!

Padfoot- But true.

Moony- Yeah…

***is content* (although i would have rather liked to be hugged from the front and behind ;), but i'll take what i can get)**

You heard Riddles from behind now!

Moony & Padfoot- Fine.

***T.K. Riddle **_stands, _Moony_ comes from the front, _Padfoot_ from behind—__**SQUISH!**__*_

**Question: i have post-potter depression, what do i do? :(**

Padfoot- Post- Potter—what?

Moony- Potter as in James?

Padfoot- No way you like James?

Moony- …Team Prongs Shirt?*offers you shirt*

_You guys have to stop with the Team thing…-_-_

Padfoot- You're just jealous no one's Team Lizard!

_-_- why you little…_

**Xxx (one for each of you XD)**

Padfoot- You have to stop kissing me Moony's gonna get mad!...Moony?

Moony-*blushing*

Padfoot- What the—Why are you blushing so much that's it give me your kiss!

Moony- No it's mine!

*struggling*

_Oh thank you…*blushing**ignores the struggling behind her*_

_Well that's enough of that and- _*continued struggling*

_**STOP IT!**_

Moony & Padfoot- *freeze and run back to their own seats*

_Thank you : ) Now any last words?_

Moony- Vote Team Moony!

Padfoot- No vote Team Padfoot!

_**Enough!**__ Bye!_

_(And vote Team Lizard!)_

Moony & Padfoot- We heard that!

_-_-..._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks you guys so mush for reviewing it means a lot and you guys are all so funny! Makes my sick-ness almost all better ^_^...Almost *looks over shoulder at Demon sibling***

**Demon sibling-*jumps up and down* I WANT ICE CREAM!**

**Me-Coming my lord! I better go!*flees***


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I still have nothing to say...Oh no I do! *smacks forehead* Um pretty please go to my profile and vote on the poll for which team you're on Team Padfoot or Team Moony! Let's settle this rivalry once and for all! Also I hope I know how to create it...*nervous chuckle* heh heh**

* * *

><p><em>You know I'm running out of ways to say hello so I'll just say 'sup welcome to another Moony and Padfoot Advice Column.<em>

_Question 67 comes from_ **kali yugah**

**Lol i am loving the team moony/ team Padfoot. Although i have to say that i am either team garrus or team anders (don't know who they are then play mass effect 1&2 and dragon age origins/awakening & 2) i have to ask what film do both of you like more the transformers series or star trek 2009?**

Padfoot- Team what? Does either of those translate to Team Padfoot 'cause it would be nice if someone voted for me *holds up bribe*

Moony- Stop trying to bribe people and answer the question. I happen to like Star trek 2009 because a certain main character is really hot and-

Padfoot- God Moons why are you so fixated on looks. I'm sorry we can't all look as beautiful as you!

Moony-…Di you just call me beautiful?

Padfoot & Moony- *blush*

_*fangirl squeal*_

Padfoot- *clear throat* Uh well—you see…um—So yeah I happen to like the Transformers series because of all the killing robots instead of killing people.

Moony- He can't stand blood.

Padfoot- Which is totally not my fault I mean I can't help it that seeing a pool of makes me want to vomit :P

Moony- And scream like a girl :D

Padfoot- Shut up Moony.

Moony- ;D

Question 68 comes from **WeaslyTwin3Some**

**Thanks for the cake. It was delicious. **

_You're welcome!_

Padfoot- *rolls eyes* Oh like _you_ baked it.

_As a matter a fact I did!_

Padfoot- Oh…

**Anyway, with the whole "team Moony"/"Team Padfoot" think, can I be president of "team puppy love"? It's impossible to choose between the two of you. You both have your merits. Moony is calm, and sweet, and smart, and cuddly. and Padfoot is fun, and sexy, and (I think anyway) passionate. Who could choose one over the other?**

_You guys should just join you clubs together and make Team Puppylove._

Padfoot- Yeah we could…or we could continue this ongoing battle of rivalry that is technically already won by me :D

_-_-…_

Moony- You wish.

Padfoot- *sticks out tongue*

Moony- *leans over and bites it*

Padfoot- OW! Moony!

Moony- Oops my mouth acted on its own, I'm sorry I guess you are too sexy.

Padfoot- Well *blush* when you put that way…

Moony- *sighs* Padfoot I recommend you study the art of sarcasm more.

Padfoot- Eh?

Moony- Never mind!

_Question 69 (oh gross! Hahaha!_ Padfoot- Whoa Aooogaa! Moony- -_-…) comes from **Viper's little Devil**

***a few weeks later a tear stained envelope shows up*  
><strong>

Padfoot- What the heck? *opens envelope*

**Daddy, Uncle Remus, can you come to the future and kill Draco for me? He's a slimy cheater and says he only dated me because of a dare. **

Padfoot- WHAT? DID I NOT TELL YOU _SPECIFICALLY _NOT TO GO OUT WITH A SLYTHERIN!

Moony- My you're turning quite a bright shade of red Sirius.

Padfoot- Shut up Moony, can't you see my long-lost daughter is in despair.

Moony- I have eyes don't I?

Padfoot- What?

Moony- Nothing…

**And Severus is my uncle because my mom is his sister. **

Moony- Currently at this time your father has excused himself to go puke in a bucket and yell "Prongs was right!" again. Prongs you smart smart stag.

**But anyway... please help me with this slimeball of a cheater? :'( Please Daddy?**

Padfoot- *comes back* Of course we will help! Let's go now!

_Fine I will let you do this one thing but only because I hate people who have the dishonor to cheat. And really? Draco?-_-_

Sirius and Remus hold hands as an inexperienced girl winds up the time turner to a non-specific time. With one last glance at the room they were residing in they were gone.

"Oof!" Sirius fell clumsily to the ground dragging Remus with him. Lizard however placed the turner in her pocket and looked around.

"We're in Hogwarts, no?" Remus asked after he had stood up.

"Yeah." Was the reply and then the three were off down the corridor and to the dungeons.

"How do we get in?" Sirius whispered furiously as they hid in the corner.

"Invisibility Cloak." Remus replied and pulled out James's prized possession after of course his photo of Lily. Sirius smiled at the werewolf's quick thinking and pulled him over for a kiss. The fangirl beside them, intent on watching them go at it, pulled the Cloak over them instead.

"Get on with it. I'll wait here." She hissed pushing them ahead.

Remus and Sirius stopped kissing and turned to maneuver their way into the Slytherin common room as a fat boy trudged in beside them.

"Which one is Draco?" Sirius asked eyeing every boy in particular.

"Draco…wasn't that what your cousin was going to name her future son? I remember you saying that you were going to call him Draco the Dragon."

"Oh right so we're looking for a blond kid with an arrogant face." Sirius immediately spotted that kid sitting on a green couch. "Ugh!"

"I know who modeled this place—so drab." Remus complained. Sirius shot him an odd look.

"No I meant he looks just like Luscious Mouthful." Sirius pointed at the boy.

"Ew you have to stop calling him that—it's weird."

"Yeah whateves." Sirius proceeded to pull off the Cloak.

"What're you doing?" Remus exclaimed.

"Kicking this boy's ass." Sirius said determined. He with a timid Remus beside him strutted over.

"Hey!" Sirius called out. Draco looked up at them noticing the Gryffindor ties. "What the hell? How did you two get in here? Who are you anyways?" He sneered.

The sneer faded as he caught the death glare. "I'm Sirius fucking Black."

BAM!

CRASH!

PWNED!

OBLIVATE!

_So now that we're finally back what happened?_

Padfoot- *smirks* I kicked his ass that's what happened!

Moony- I kind just watched but I did kick him in his Unmentionables.

Padfoot- *ruffles his hair* Good Moony!

Moony-*who enjoys getting his hair touched* ^_^

_Well there you go Nancy!_

_Question 70 comes from_ **T. XD**

**Ok firstly Padfoot... I'm a witch not a Muggle... so i probably should get some ninja lessons... hmm...**

Padfoot- You probably should. I heard they've lowered the costs this year.

Moony- -_-

***breaks into chorus of 'all you need is love'***

Padfoot & Lizard - *sing along*

Padfoot- Oh come on Remus don't you know this song?

Moony- -_- I was born in the 60's.

Padfoot- Exactly!  
><strong><br>*sighs happily*... although i would have liked something more than a hug... hehe there's just no pleasing me is there?**

Moony- You're going to have to be more specific because I'm scared to interpret what you mean.

Padfoot- Uhh…What he said.

**No that's not what i meant, but i quite like James so.. *accepts shirt and wears it proudly*... Can i have a team Padfoot and Moony shirt as well? Oh and a team Lizard one?**

Padfoot- Of course you can as long as you vote for me *hands you shirt*

Moony- Like Padfoot said *hands you Team Moony shirt*

_*hands you one with no comment*_

Padfoot- what no Team Lizard this time?

_No I have learned the art of maturity…_

Padfoot-* smiles evilly* Oh really? Oh my God look it's a young version of Gary Oldman and David Thewlis kissing!

_WHERE? WHERE? *fangirl squee*_

Padfoot- Syke!

Padfoot- :D

**No need to fight over me boys.. there's plenty of me to go around ;)**

Question: My hands are freezing because i have just applied some henna (know what that is?).. what do i do?

Padfoot- Where does she get these words?

_Just Google that shit._

Padfoot- Ohhhh Lizard cussed! Moony! Moooonnnyyy! She cussed!

Moony- I know Pads, and what does it matter it is rated M.

Padfoot- Oh right…&*(%)$##)(%! Wait she can say shit but I can't say &*(%)$##)(%?

_Not all words are legal here. Only in America *sighs* Oh America—having diabetes since __1500BC!_

Padfoot & Moony- ?

Padfoot- So what should you do…Do a happy dance for a couple hours maybe that'll help.

Moony- ….no comment.

**More kisses! XXX**

_Stop it I'm blushing!_

Moony- *blushing* So am I.

Padfoot- Well I'm not!

_Question 71 comes from_**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**o.o**

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- What?

I hate to say it, but Moony gets points for being Team Jacob... Really, Padfoot? Really? You're really on the Team of a Dead Bleach Smelling Glitter Boy? REALLY?

Padfoot- *whimpers*

Moony- See—I am the sensible one. *ego boost by 5%*

***sigh* You're lucky you're awesome... Or I'd have to abandon you just for that... But no worries! :) I'm still faithful**

Padfoot- Now I'm worried…

Moony- *still grinning away*

Padfoot- *glares*

_Question 72 comes from_ **Ecclestein**

**Padfoot, you're Team Edward?**

Hmmmm...

'Cause it's Padfoot and Edward, sitting in a tree, S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G!

Padfoot and Edward, sitting in a tree, F-A-L-L-I-N-G in love!

Padfoot- *covering his ears and singing 'lalalalala'

Moony- He can't hear you -_-

Oh, and I'm Team Moony all the way. So put that in your juice box and suck it, Sirius!

Moony- Thank you ^_^

Padfoot- Everyone is against me today!

**Moony- *rolls eyes***

_Question 73 comes from_** LadyMarauderYoung**

**I think that you two should really stop with the whole teams thing...one day, you might be seperated and you might not ever see each other again and you'll regret it...**

Moony & Padfoot-*actually traumatized by her words*

_I totally agree!:D_

**That's why I'm team WolfStar! Do you get it? Moony = werewolf, Sirius = Constellation :D **

Moony- Wow that actually sounds cool.

Padfoot- So are you admitting defeat?

Moony- Hell no!

_-_- You guys are missing the whole point…_

**Hehe - I'm hyper! I ate two whole packets of TicTacs and now I'm...actually, my breath just smells really minty...minty is okay...I prefer chocolate though...**

Padfoot- You're still on about that…I mean I like coffee so what!

Moony- No Sirius you moron she's just talking about my greatest love *sighs* chocolate…

Padfoot- Your greatest love after me right? Right?

Moony- *doesn't reply*

Padfoot- *wails*My own boyfriend is against me too! Will I never know love!

Moony- You over exaggerate too much…

Padfoot- Moony? :D

Moony- I'm still with you Pads don't worry.

Padfoot- *naked victory dance*

_*cries*Haven't I seen enough! *covers her eyes*_

_Question 74 comes from_ **SetoXSara**

**Hi Padfoot! -squees- I'm actually talking to THE Sirius Black! The sexiest man alive! **

Padfoot- Damn straight! *ego boost by 69(oh ew) %*

**Hi Moony! I'm talking to Remus Lupin!**

Moony- Sexiest man alive too right?

Padfoot- Aw don't worry Moons, you're the sexiest man in my world-

Moony- *breathes* Thank you Padf-

Padfoot- After me of course.

Moony- -_-

**I admire you both! Can I have subscriptions? Please? Anyways, must ask you, Remus, is Sirius good in bed? (I bet he is!)**

Padfoot-*hands her the subscriptions* Well go on answer her Moony!

Moony-Er…I mean he's great and all…

Padfoot- What? Am I bad? *begins freaking out*

Moony- No! No! You're fine it's just that I want to top too you know…

Padfoot- Sorry Moons, you know the rules 'He who makes the moves first shall win top.'

_That's your bedroom rules?_

Padfoot- Yup that and that there are no rules!

_Then if there are no rules then the first one shouldn't apply-_

Padfoot- _Oh-kay!_ We've had enough of this. Moving on!

Moony & _Lizard-_ *grumbling to selves*

**And, BTW, Tell Prongs that when using the Fidelius Charm DO NOT make Peter the Secret Keeper. Or him and his wife Lily (Yes, Lily Evans!) will die. **

Padfoot- WHAT THE *&%#!

Moony- You're kidding right?

_Dang—stop telling them their future it could change the space time continuum!_

**And Remus, well done for teaching Harry the Patronus. **

Moony- Harry?

Padfoot- That little Hufflepuff 3rd year Harry…

Moony- Figgin

Padfoot- Yeah Harry Figgin—What the hell kind of name is that? Anyways I didn't know you taught him a Patronus?

Moony- I didn't…

Padfoot- o_o?

**Okay Team Padfoot all the way! And Peace Out!**

Padfoot- Oh! Another point for me! How do you like those apples!

Moony- (idiot)

Padfoot- What? -_-?

Moony- Loovvee youuuuu! :D

_Last Question 75 comes from_**elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot:I will not kill imsiriuslylupinforyou,no matter how tempting it is.**

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- o_0!

Moony-*whispers* My Gods I think she's serious.

Sirius-*whispers* Nooo, I'm Sirius.

_-_-…_

**Anyway Remus you are a freaking gazellion times better than Sirius can ever hope to be.**

Padfoot- Ohhhh hellll noooo! Girl what's up _your_ weave?

Moony- Why-why are you talking like that?

Padfoot- Kingsley taught it to me—you know for protection.

Moony- Rrriight…so um back to this I appreciate your support * sends a hug your way*

And Sirius where the hell is that pic?

Padfoot-right here! *hmphs* But just for that you might not get it!

Moony- -_- Padfoot either send that or burn it because I am tired of first years coming into our dormitory and stealing it!

**And thanks for the shirt.**

Moony & Padfoot *at the same time*- You're welcome. You're Not welcome!

**Sirius your prejudice is ridiculous,I would give you a lecture but that would be a waste of my time and patience so I advice you to read Reading the Hallows:Revised ch-2,ok.**

Padfoot- Maybe I'll read it maybe I won't *huffs*

Moony- I'll make sure he reads it.

**I wanted to ask you to think of a nickname for imsiriuslylupinforyou(its too damn long to type)so suggestions?.**

Padfoot- How 'bout betterthanelliot?

Moony- Stop being immature besides we're thinking of _nicknames._

Padfoot- Fine how 'bout…_Snuffles?_

Moony- _Classic_ -_-

Padfoot- Why not I think it's appropriate. Oh and we can call Elliot—_Muffles_ *giggles*

Moony- Someone forgot to take his meds…

_O_0!_

**Love you Remus**

Padfoot- Hate you too *7%#$!

_Padfoot! Bad dog! No harassing the reviewer!_

Moony- Love you too Elliot now excuse me while I attempt to smack my boyfriend with this rolled up newspaper.

*sighs* I guess that's it…. (Padfoot-Ouch _Moony!_) Bye! :D


	14. Chapter 14

Hello and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column.

Question 76 comes from **STILLCANTLOGIN**

**Okay, I agree with SetoXSara. Don't trust Pe- er, Wormtail as the Secret Keeper. He will just go to Vol- I mean, Tom Riddle (didn't wanna scare you) and tell him about it. I have no idea how, seeing as she calls him a "toe rag," or something along the lines of that, but Lily Evans = Lily Potter.**

Moony & Padfoot- 0-o

Padfoot- Again we keep hearing about Peter but he's a nice fella once you get to meet him and he would never betray us…right?

Moony- I guess.

Padfoot- And there is no way Lily marries Prongs last I heard she rather what was it Moony?

Moony- Throw herself into an erupting volcano.

Padfoot- Yeah! Exactly.

**No, Ms Narrator, I like telling them about their future. Sorry ab**

_-_- fine go ahead but if Harry isn't the chosen one and Teddy is never born I blame you._

Moony- Who's Teddy it sounds awfully familiar for some reason…

_He's nobody! Go have sex with Sirius don't ever leave him! Go *pushes Remus away*_

Moony- you're acting weird…

_Haha me? NOOO! :D_

Moony- -_-

_Question 77 comes from_ **Viper's little Devil**

**Daddy, Uncle Remus?**

**Thank you so much. It was hilarious seeing Draco Malfoy wander around looking stupid. It made me feel better. I am sending you guys a cake... And I am Team Padfoot because he is my dad. Sorry Uncle Remus.**

**Love you Daddy and Uncle Remus.**

**Nancy Black**

Padfoot- *sighs* Well we've done a good deed today and it feels great!

Moony- Yeah if you call illegally using a time turner and beating up a younger kid possibly traumatizing him a good deed.

Padfoot- Yeah I do call it that.

Moony- Hmmm…Well thanks for the cake ^_^

Padfoot-….PUPPY JUSTICE!

Moony- 0_0

_Question 78 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

Padfoot- Snuffles?

_We never established the nickname and don't interrupt!_

Padfoot- Sorry!

**That's right... I AM better than Elliot. / nearly single handedly started a Team War. (which Team Padfoot should Totes win, btw)**

Moony- I don't agree with that statement but that's my opinion.

Padfoot- Jealous Moony :D

Moony- *growls*

_But she was right about starting the Team War!_

Moony- True.

_According to the poll Team Moony is winning._

Padfoot- WHAT!

Moony- :D

Padfoot- *wails* My fans have deserted me!

_LOL _

Padfoot- Shut up!

_Okay :D_

**Padfoot gets his lost points back times three for defending me to Elliot... That *7%#$!... (and just in case you read this, Dearest Elliot... My username is an amazing and epic use of punnery! Your name has no puns... Therefore making it much less cool.)**

Padfoot- Ohh BURN!

Moony- Shut up! *smacks him*

Padfoot- OW! *pouts*

_I still don't approve of your foul language…_

Padfoot- Hippogriff you use it all the time!

_ME a hippogriff? You're a hippogriff—you said you loved Elliot and now you don't!_

Padfoot- That's not-

_HIPPOGRIFF!_

Padfoot- BUT I-

_HIPPOGRIFF!_

Padfoot-*death glare*

_Question 79 comes from_** STILLCANTLOGIN**

**Hehe, my thumb hit the laptop pad and clicked enter before i could finish. Anyway. . . . .**

Padfoot- You again? Can't get enough of me huh? *winks*

Moony- -_- Rrriight…

**Sorry about "traumatizing you."**

Moony & Padfoot- We forgive you ^_^

_Creepy how you two are sometimes in sync.o_0_

Moony & Padfoot- It's a canine thing.

Moony & Padfoot- Jinx! Double Jinx! Triple Jinx! Quad-

_Enough!_

**And Moony/etc., I'm not saying that you're scared of everything, I just thought that Sirius was a sort of crazy-brave. **

Padfoot- Well *puffs out chest* I am a Gryffindor

Moony- Oh please I have to rip off your Band-Aids because you're too much of a wimp to do it.

_Really? :D_

Padfoot- So!

Moony- And I'm the one you, Peter, and James call to kill the spider in the bathroom!

Padfoot- That thing was huge!

_Baby!*laughs*_

Moony- -_- You called me too Lizard…

_Hey! That spider was huge! (And I'm a Hufflepuff so…)_

Moony- Wimps…

**And if you guys don't know what Death Eaters are, I have some advice for YOU. Read the Harry series. Not Harry Figgin, Harry Potter. Remember, Moony? You taught him the Patronus? But then, you tried to eat him when you went werewolf, so. . . . .**

Padfoot- Oh we know what Death Eaters are… we see their kids every day.

_Oh you mean those emo Goth kids all in a corner bunched together with Slytherin ties?_

Moony- Exactly those are the Pre- Death Eaters. Their waiting till they become of age and then they'll join Voldemort. (And no I'm not scared of saying his name)

_Dumbles says nothing about this?_

Moony- *shakes head* He can't stop them from choosing their own paths.

_Terrible! _

Padfoot- Anyways who's Harry Potter? James's cousin?

Moony-No I think they mean James's son.

Padfoot- His name is gonna be Harry! Awww—I was really looking forward to Elvendork.

Moony- Still on about that?

Padfoot- Yes…hey Moony wanna have a baby?

Moony- We can't remember?

Padfoot- Well wanna try anyways?*suggestive smile*

_Whoa fangirl right here!_

Moony- Not now and anyways no I don't remember teaching Harry Potter a Patronus but of course it hasn't happened yet so…and I especially don't remember trying to EAT him! Prongs would kill me!

Padfoot- *nods in agreement* He really would.

Moony- Yes and I want to live thank you very much.

**And I agree with Elliot and Sasuke, Professor Remus Lupin, you are better (Sorry, Sirius and Nancy) than Padfoot. **

Padfoot- NOOO!I'm losing!

Moony- ^_^ Thank you!

**You are kind, you *had* a great job, you look nice, you have a gentle soul, you disapprove of profanity.**

Moony- Oh do go on*modesty blush*

Padfoot-*hmphs in envy*

Moony- Don't worry Padfoot you're the sexiest man in my world-

Padfoot- Really? :D

Moony- After me of course :D

Padfoot- : (I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter…

**you have some great fanfics going about you and [Nympha]Dora (read "Coming out of the Closet"/"Dancing Witch", in that order),you try to eat everyone on the full moon. . . . .Well, maybe that can be your one fault.**

Padfoot- Moony…what is this about you and Nymphadora?

Moony- I have no idea…

Padfoot- I knew it you cougar!

Moony- I am not a cougar! She's like 3 for God's sake!

_(Actually the correct term is pedophile :D)_

Padfoot- *ignores comment* I can't believe my own boyfriend and my cousin…

Moony- For the last time I don't like her!

Padfoot-…I believe you…(pedophile!) (-_-)

**Sirius Black, you are an escaped Prisoner of Azkaban, you killed a street full of innocent Muggles, you were with Voldemort at one point. . . . . but, the fanfics about you and Moony can be a good thing! **

Padfoot- I am not no murderer! Get yo facts straight gurl! *snaps fingers*

Moony- *sarcastically amused* Oh you tell them drama queen.

**Moony, I think you only like team Jacob because he can turn into a wolf, too! I don't like twilight, but it's all my friends talk about so how could i not know about that?**

Moony- It's true and also I was dragged (literally) to the theaters by Lily and now she wants to drag me _again_ to the final movie. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't partially excited but it's like your guilty obsession nobody has to know about.

_Yeah like mine is…Big Time Rush and K-pop oh and yaoi! _

Padfoot-Uh what's wrong with you?

_Shut up! -_-_

**Thanks for answering my first one! Don't forget to read the first half of this one!**

Moony & Padfoot- You're welcome!

_Question 80 (back to the 80's oh yeah!)Comes from _**STILLCANTLOGIN**

_Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- AGAIN?_

**FADE OUT WITH THE BEATLES!**

**ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE**

**ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE**

**ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE**

**LOVE**

**LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED**

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- *clap*

_Lol thanks :D_

_Question 81 comes from___**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Hey, Moony, Padfoot! What's up? Actually, scratch that, I don't want to know what's going on between you two. LIZARD! What's up?**

_Oh nothing you know same old same old…_

Moony & Padfoot- -_-…

**Anyway, two things. One, Team Moony all the way, because he deserves it more, and because I'm much more scared of him when he's angry.**

Moony- You're scared of me?

Padfoot- I'm totally with you on that one you're scary when you're mad Moons, but son of a werewolf (Moony- -_- HA) I'm tired of losing are there no Team Padfooties out there?

*crickets in background*

Padfoot- *puppy pout*

Moony- Hey look Padfoot—I'm playing the world's smallest violin.

Hahaha Nice one Remus!

Padfoot-: (

**Two, what do you guys do when you can't sleep? And shagging is NOT an option. NOT. Hear me?**

Padfoot- Shagging is not an option? Shagging is_ always _an option!

Moony- No it isn't. And I like to read a good book or listen to Padfoot rant about himself until I faint of boredom.

Padfoot- *scoffs*

Moony- :D 

Padfoot- Well I like a good shag if not(which is rare)I listen to James rant about Lily.

_I listen to music and fall asleep with my MP3. Must be why I always need new headphones :P_

**xx**

**(and they're for Moony and Lizard, NOT for Padfoot! Do not steal them, Padfoot- do NOT- WHAT DID I TELL YOU?)  
><strong>

Padfoot- HAHA Yoink!

***sighs***

**Alright, here are four more for MOONY AND LIZARD with a Selective Shield Charm. Enjoy! *glares at Padfoot***

Padfoot- *huffs* Fine…I'll just get one from Moony!*kisses Moony*

Moony- *blushes*

_AWWWW SOO CUTEEEE!*SQUEEEE*_

_Question 82 comes from_ **LadyMarauderYoung**

**I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! I mean, it's not as if one day you'll be saving your godson from V-Voldemort and then you get hit by a curse and fall through a curtain that kills you so your other half marries your cousin...**

Padfoot- Oh My Gods—what a horrible way to die!

Moony- Padfoot…

Padfoot- Yes Moony?

Moony-Let's GTFO! We'll go to Neverland just like you said!

Padfoot- *hugs Remus* It's okay Rem, maybe it won't happen.

At least you'll be reunited in heaven…?

Moony & Padfoot- *glares*

Oops sorry…*backs away slowly*

**Anyway, I'm going to mope. I go back to school in a week and I don't want to! It's so crap compared to Hogwarts! :'(**

_HAH! Welcome to my world! No more freedom! Wah! *hands you sympathy cake—chocolate of course*_

Padfoot- I'm sorry you can't come to an awesome school like mine.

Moony- So am I but its not that great sure you meet lots of people and learn Magic and eat like a hog and oh its seems I'm upsetting you…*sympathy cake? :D*

_Question 83 comes from_ **SetoXSara**

**Hi Guys! :) **

_HI!_

Moony- Hello ^_^

Padfoot- YO!

**Remus, yes, you are VERY sexy, but, I'm afraid, Padfoot comes first! **

Moony- Well thanks for the compliment anyways.

Padfoot- YES TEAM PADFOOT!

_Someone's happy :D_

**Sorry about the whole future thing but... Harry is not Harry Figgins. It's James' son, Harry Potter :) I have a poster with him on it! :) **

Padfoot- Yeah we figured that out a question ago.

Moony- So Harry's famous? Good for him…Ican imagine James's head has now exploded ^_^

Padfoot- LOL Moons, LOL!

**Question: Sirius, have you ever secretly watched Moony take a shower?**

Moony- Padfoot…you better answer no or I will…

Padfoot-*gulps* Er maybe?

Moony-*grabs a knife*

_Padfoot RUN!  
><em>

*Moony Rage*

2 HOURS LATER

Moony- Tying me down is getting old you know.

_-_-…_

**And Moony, because of the Maid picture, here is a camera. Take a picture of Sirius the Maid. (I would like a copy) *gives camera and chocolate* **

Moony- Finally revenge…*grabs camera*

Padfoot- Whoa there Moony *nervous fidget*

**Bye Now! Team Padfoot! (Can have a T-shirt?) And Team Prongs :D**

Padfoot- Of course you can! *hands you Team Padfoot shirt*

_*hands you Team Prongs shirt*_

Moony- : (

_Uhhh…sorry—Question 84 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Do you guys mind if I do something now?**

***Takes out MK 47 and shoot Team Edward and Team Jacob flag think* DIE MWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
><strong>Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- o_0!**  
><strong>

**Sorry on behalf of apology I say Team Moony :P**

Padfoot & Moony- NOOOO! YES!****

**Group Hugs? I miss those time when I have a group hug with my family.**

*everyone group hugs you*****

**What is your favourite Glee songs I like The Warblers here's a songs that I** **cover**

**I love you (I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?) (How can I tell you about my loved one?) x2**

**You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.**

**But I look around me and I see it isn't so.**

**Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.**

**And what's wrong with that?**

**I'd like to know, 'cause here I go again**

**I love you (I love)**

**I love you (I love)**

**I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see? (I love you)**

**Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can't you see?**

**Love doesn't come in a minute (Doesn't come in a minute)**

**Sometimes it doesn't come at all (Doesn't come at all)**

**I only know that when I'm in it (Only know when I'm in it)**

**It isn't silly (at all), love isn't silly (at all), love isn't silly at all, not at all**

**Ba-ba-ba-da-da-da-da, Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da**

**[From: .]**

**I love you**

**I love you (I can't explain the feelings plain to me, so can't you see?)**

**I love you (I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?) (How can I tell you about my loved one?) x2**

**Ba-ba-ba-da-da-da-da, Ba-ba-ba-ba-da-da**

**You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.**

**But I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no**

**Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.**

**And what's wrong with that?**

**I'd like to know, 'cause here I go again (Ba ba ba ba-da)**

**I love you (I love)**

**I love you (I love)**

**I can't explain, the feeling's plain to me, so can't you see?**

**Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me, now can't you see?**

**I love you (I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, now can't you see?) (How can I tell you about my loved one?)**

_Wow that was the longest comment ever…Granted half of it was a song but still…_

Padfoot- Well I liked it *claps*

Moony- Me too *claps as well*

_I never said I didn't like it *tries to out clap everyone*_

Moony- Well my favorite cover is also by the Warblers- Somewhere Only We

Know

Padfoot- Mine is when they sang 'Born this Way' and they wore shirts that said their insecurities.

Moony- Mine would probably have Massive Excess of Hair Once a Month on it.

Padfoot- Mine would have Dumbo Ears.

Moony- What! Are you kidding me?

Padfoot- What my ears are huge!

Moony- -_-…

**Hope you guys like it :P Team Moony all the way :D**

Moony- Team Moony appreciates the support! 

Padfoot-…..No one loves me : (…

Moony- Drama—Queen. :D

_Question 85 comes from_ **catman**

_Omg! You survived!_

**i survived the hurricane! yesh that question, can from a show i was watching the other day! funny stuff eh! HAHAHAHA...haha...ha it was a joke i can has jokes right? right? RIGHT! B**

_ER….what?_

Padfoot- The hurricane knocked a screw loose or smething…

Moony- Now you see why no one votes for you—you're too mean.

Padfoot-I am not! I'm the kindest person ever! I let you finger me!

Moony- -_-

_Whoa guys!_

Padfoot- Hey catman vote for me ;D

Moony- As if -_-

_Question 86 comes from _**STILLCANTLOGIN**

Padfoot- This person again

Moony- I bet he's Team Moony.

Padfoot- He's Team Padfoot so lay off!

Moony- Sure.

***smacks Sirius' nose with rolled up newspaper* HA! THIS HAS BECOME MY NEW HOBBY! THANKS REMUS! TEAM RACHEL/MARCO! ! (not an evil laugh, a crazy psycho one) *whack* *whack* *whack* *whack* *whack* and so on**

Padfoot- Ow What the hell!

Moony-*sighs* I taught them that. Wait are you a girl or guy.

Padfoot- Probably a girl we don't get much cock around here.

_Ew! Sirius! What a gross way of putting it!_

**have you watched the prisoner of azkaban movie? yes, paddyfoot, a movie named after you! **

Padfoot- A movie named after me?...Wait I go to Azkaban! Are you insane?

Moony- No but apparently you are :D

Padfoot- -_-

**my favourite part was when Draco (the one whom you recently beat up) insulted Harry (Sirius' godson and Remus' future pupil) and Hermione (Harry's Friend) held her wand at his throat. She started to turn away, and punched him in the face. She said "That felt good" and Ron (Harry's *other* friend) said "That wasn't good, that was brilliant!" Draco ran away screaming like a girl. **

Padfoot- SO my godson had a woman fight his own battle? Ah *sighs* just like me!

Moony- I'm not sure if that's a good thing so I'll ignore that…And this movie interests me—am I in it?

Padfoot- Of course you are Moony, all for me and me for all.

Moony- No I don't think it goes like that-

Padfoot- What—eves.

**Alright, space-time continuum, I'm wAAAAAAIIIIIting! See, LIZARD? Knew it wouldn't happen. . . . .**

_Oh just you wait…_

_Question 87 comes from _**T. XD**

**Okay firstly.. Im so team puppylove/wolfstar! is there a t-shirt for that?**

_Hey wait before you answer the question! Has anyone noticed only the T in your names shows up…what is that?_

Padfoot- Beats me you're the one in control

_Hm…Touché_

Moony- we could make one if you want…

**Hehe.. well lets just say its a bit R rated.. **

Moony & Padfoot- 0_o

**Can't i vote for both? or all three as it were?  
><strong>

_Awww you're so nice but no I'm not from Harry Potter :D_

Moony- From Harry Potter?

_I mean I ain't no wizard!_

**I did do a happy dance Padfoot and it worked thank you... bit tired now... **

Padfoot- You're welcome ^_^****

**Question: I have an unhealthy obsession with Lucius Malfoy (aka Luscious Mouthful)... like seriously... what do i do?  
><strong>

Padfoot- Kidnap him and rape him! That's what I did to Remus :D

Moony- And he still does it now -_-

_Are you kidding me you kidnapped possibly straight Remus and raped him?_

Padfoot- Yup and it worked. Turns out he was as attracted to me as I was to him ^_^

Moony- And you're lucky I was!

**Love you! Xxx**

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard- _Love you too! XXX

_And so it is written…_

Padfoot- WEAK! 

_Shut up and get out of here!_

_ITS OVER_!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: You know what's the crazy thing I've never really watched Glee before so...yeah I did however see like the very first episode when it came out like in 2009 over the summer it was the same time Uplifter the new album from 311 came out so somewhere around 2009 I think...**

* * *

><p><em>Salut! Welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column<em>

_Question 88 comes from_**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Yayy! I got two sympathy cakes - I needed them. My fish died the other day. I passed it on my way to the bathroom and it was happily swimming about (lalalala) and then two minutes later I came back and it was floating! **

Moony- Oh that's horrible!

Padfoot- I'm sorry for your lose

_I have a fish too right now he's pale so I named him Lucius…so I know how you feel—well he's not dead…yet._

**I reckon a ninja got into my room...anyway, my mum called her mate to come over and get rid of it because we didn't want to touch it...Do you like fish? Or are you scared of them?**

Moony- I like fish but I wouldn't buy them you just get very depressed after they die : (

Padfoot- Yeah I have to agree with Moony.

**My mum is! My mum is also quite angry at you because you gave me a SUGAR HIGH! She says there is nothing more dangerous than a red-head on a SUGAR HIGH! Hehe...MY FISH DIED!**

Moony-Tell your mum we're sorry and that I hope she gets over her fish phobia.

Padfoot- Does that me you guys don't eat seafood?

You're a red head?

Padfoot- Lily…is that you?

Moony- -_-…

_Question 89 comes from _**Viper's little Devil**

**Daddy, Uncle Remus, Lizard,**

**I got a time turner! I was thinking about going back in time to meet you guys. Plus this werewolf named Greyback attacked. Daddy, Uncle Remus, I'm scared. He bit me. Please help me. Oh And Uncle Severus said that Uncle Remus needs to remember to take his wolf bane potion. But please... I'm scared.**

Padfoot- WHAT IN THE HELL!

Moony- OH MY GOD LETS GO!

Wait what about-

*They left*

_Er while they come back…does anyone want some Sympathy cake :D? *hands out cake to reviewers._

3HOURS LATER

Padfoot- Hey we're back!

Moony- She's gonna be fine future me is going to have to keep her company on the full moons but with this crazy future invention called Wolfs bane potion we'll be fine!

Padfoot- You really love that thing don't you?

Moony- *nods* It's like I found the chemotherapy to my cancer.

_Yeah well I know you're worried an all but I have a column to run…_

Padfoot- Oh yeah go right ahead!

_Thank you Question 90 comes from_**kali yugah**

**HEYYYYYYY! i'm back!**

Padfoot- HI!

Moony- Hi.

**Now down to business moony is the sexy main character in star trek 2009 dr mccoy?**

Moony- I think so…damn he's fine

Padfoot- *growls*

**and sirius no Team Garrus is a team devoted to a sexy turian (he's an alien) and Team Anders is a team devoted to a sexy blond haired brown eyed mage that blows up churches. **

Padfoot- Ah sexy men where would the world be without us…

Moony- *rolls eyes*

**but i have to say i'm both team moony and team padfoot. i'm team moony cause the moment i saw moony 7 years ago (when i was 10)i was hooked by the mystery that he projects (you can never truely tell what he is think off) and also werewolfs are my kind of thing.**

Moony- *blush* Thank you glad to see you like me even though I'm a werewolf.

**i'm team padfoot because of the devotion that sirius gives to his friends and godson harry potter.**

Padfoot- And and! Because I'm sexy right?

*crickets in background*

Padfoot- -_-

_Question 91 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**Hi Dudes! And Lizard!**

**Hi!**

**Padfoot- Yo!  
><strong>

**Moony- Hello.**

**SIRIUS MOTHEREFFING BLACK! **

Padfoot- *scared* What? What!

**I apologise on behalf of everyone for the OUTRAGE of you not winning at the moment! **

Padfoot-*sighs* Oh! Damn you scared me back there.

_Lol! Your face was funny._

Padfoot- SHHADDDUP!

Moony & _Lizard_- :D

**YOu should always be ahead! Even though Moony is absolutely epic and the best DADA teacher at Hogwarts, your sexier. And awesomer!**

Moony- Stop his ego can only take so much before it explodes!

Padfoot- -_- Mockery doesn't suit you Remus…

**But Moony, because of the possible offensiveness of my rant, I give you chocolate! and a hug! *gives chocolate and a hug* **

Moony- Well when you put it that way…*eats chocolate* I forgibe you! *mumbles through his chocolate*

**Thank you for my T-shirts! I made one! It says Team Marauders! (minus Wormtail!) on it!**

Padfoot- I never thought about that!

Moony- That would be cool…

**Please tell Prongs (or bring him here now please!) **

_You heard her! *kicks Sirius*_

Padfoot- Ow okay!*leaves*

5 MINUTES LATER

Prongs- *is dumped unceremoniously on the floor* Ow what the hell!

Moony- Hi James!

Prongs- Hi Moony…why am I here?

_She wants to tell you something__**.**_

**That, Prongs, you will marry Lily. Please do NOT make Peter the Secret Keeper. Go with Sirius. He is your son's Godfather anyway. From... the Future! Mwahahaha! Oh and your son is famous! I have his poster! HEHE. **

Prongs- Really? I'm gonna marry Lily!*does victory dance*

Moony- Well at least his clothes are still on.

Prongs- And my son's gonna be famous! That means I'm gonna be famous!

Padfoot- Oh my God me too! *does victory dance with him*

_Okay guys stop now!_

*continue and slowly start getting naked*

_0_o!_

**Oh yeah.. I need to ask you a question... what was it? Oh yeah! What are your secret kinks? Fangirl. **

Moony- That's a highly personal question…*blush*

Padfoot- Oh whatever Remus we all know your secrets kinks.

Prongs- It's chocolate on everything.

Padfoot- Yup.

Moony- Shut up!

Padfoot- Mine is leather *growls*Oh yeah I can see it now…Moony—tied to the bed by leather binds wearing leather pants and a leathery whip…*drools*

O_o Whoa…I've been blown away…

Prongs- Gross!

Padfoot- Alright then what's your Jamie-boy?

Prongs- *grins* Me-

Padfoot- Oh! It's bad already!

Prongs- -_-…Anyways, me and Lily out in the Quidditch field…surrounded by bludgers…

Moony- -_-…That's a terrible kink.

Prongs- *pouts*

**Kay Peace out! And I'm going to try and stop the whole changing the future thing.**

_**FINE FIINNNEE! Y'ALL WANNA CHANGE THE FUTURE THAT"S FINE**__!_ _Just beware the consequences..._

_Question 92 comes from_**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**WHERE ARE ALL OF TEAM PADFOOT? Am I alone in this battle...? :'(**

Moony- *laughs* There is no Team Padfoot!

Padfoot- Shut up Moony!

Prongs- Hey and what about Team Prongs?

_What are you still doing here?*drags him out by the ear*  
><em>

Prongs- Ow! Vote Team Prongs!

Padfoot- Don't worry we will win this battle!

_Um…you're still losing in the poll…_

Padfoot- -_- Where are you Team Padfooties!

_Question 93 comes from_ **MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Alright, I'm back, and I believe Padfoot did not get a very good first impression of me. **

Padfoot- Because you don't want to give me a kiss : (

Moony- Still on about that?

Padfoot- Yes!

**But I can deal with pranks- lord, I set pranks up! I had to try so hard not to laugh when my friend's computer kept "correcting" her name to be "Old Stormcrow". I had to fix it two minutes later since the essay was due tomorrow, but those two minutes were just me trying to maintain a straight face... **

Padfoot- Glad to hear you love pranks! ^_^

Moony-*frown of disapproval*

**anyway, my point was that I can deal with pranks, but I cannot deal with a knife stuck through my back.**

Moony& Padfoot & _Lizard-_ o_0

**My new question is: what question would you hate for me to ask you?**

Padfoot- Do you get fleas? I HATE THAT QUESTION I AM A HUMAN BEING AND I DO NOT GET FLEAS! *growls*

Moony- o_0 Good point…I'd hate to be asked if I could be petted during my werewolf form. No, I'm sorry you can't if you tried I would probably kill you.

**Heh heh heh. *blows 3 kisses in your general direction and has no idea where they landed***

Padfoot- Hah they landed on my butt!

Moony- Yeah actually they did -_-  
><strong><br>And before you come running after me with Dungbombs and daggers... Here's a trick that I learned from catman and from setting pranks on kids with no sense of humor... *flees***

Padfoot- Whoa catman taught her well.

_Question 94 comes from_ **Ecclestein**

**If you had all the money in the world, what kind of underwear would you wear?**

Moony- A good kind one that wouldn't wear out for a couple of years.

Padfoot- No underwear duh I'm rich and I'm gonna go buy a motorcycle instead.

Moony- =_= Please don't.

Padfoot- Oh! Can't hear you Moony! Already buying it!

Moony- -_-

_Question 95 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

***Blushes* Thanks for liking how I sing maybe I'll cover Somewhere Only We Know(I love that song and all the warblers song)**

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- Please do!

**What's your favourite Glee pairing and character? KLAINE ALL THE WAY! Blaine and Kurt all the way!**

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard- _HEY THAT"S MY FAVORITE TOO!

**Well here's goes nothing *song starts playing***

I walked across an empty land

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at me

Is this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it, somewhere only we know?

This could be the ending of everything

So why don't we go somewhere only know

Somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

Oh, this could be the end of everything

So why don't we go somewhere only we know?

Somewhere only we know

Somewhere only we know

**Well hope you like this too. Ahhh The Klainebows... Can I have a Team Moony shirt?**

*everyone claps*

Padfoot- Wait a minute! Team Moony are you kidding me?

Moony- Of course you can have one *eagerly hands her one*

Padfoot- Oi Elliot! He's cheating on you!

Moony- Am not! I'm loyal to all my Teammates.

_Stop bickering already I'm trying to enjoy the afterglow of a good song!_

_Anyways! Last Question comes from _**bLiNeD bY eVoL**

***glomps Sirius* REMUS IM SORRY BUT I WANT TO MARRY SIRIUS I'LL BRING HIM BACK EVERY TWO YEARS! whoa! *touches Sirius's hair* that's so soft :O**

Moony- Hmm that's a very tempting offer…

Padfoot- What? You can't give me away you'd miss me too much.

Moony-*sighs* That's true but you can have until the next column how 'bout that?

Padfoot- _TRAITORRR!_ *yells as he's hauled away*

Moony- -_-…Bye! :D

_Yeah bye!_

* * *

><p><strong>Yo-yiggity-Yo! REVIEW!<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I don't like seafood...that is all.**

* * *

><p><em>Ello ello ello. Welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column.<em>

_Question 97 comes from_**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Hey guys, I'm back to normal now! Lizard, your fish sounds awesome. Give it a high-five from me**

_That might be a little tricky…how 'bout I slap the glass so it acknowledges me? Actually my cousins have it right now and they lied and told me it died -_- not funny! _

Padfoot- *chuckles*

**My mum says thanks for your concern but she can't stand them...she thinks that the tanks going to burst and they'll flap around her feet...I know, weird right?**

Moony- If this becomes a real phobia you might want to take her to a clinic or something…

Padfoot- Why? It's not like she has fish neighbors or something they're in the ocean and that's where they'll stay.

Moony- Yes but-

Padfoot- YOU HEAR THAT FISH! YOU"LL NEVER SCARE HER MUM!*shakes fist*

Moony- -_- _Who_ are you yelling to?

Padfoot- The fish duh!

Moony- *backs away from Sirius slowly*

**I do eat seafood but I can't see the scales, head or tail. **

Padfoot- Why does it gross you out?

_It grosses me out._

Moony- I'm kind of okay with it…

**Yes I'm a red-head, no I'm not Lily but I do have green eyes, am quite intelligent and go for dark haired guys. **

Padfoot-*confused* Isn't that Lily...?

_OMG! Do you cosplay as her or Ginny? _

**Anyway, tomorrow I have to go out with my dad, his fiancee and her kids. They're alright but I have nothing in common with them...I want to stay in and read about you- I mean, read stories that are not about you! Yeah, not about you... :)**

Moony- So…you _are_ reading about us?

Padfoot- Is it more porn stuff because I don't know _where _you guys are getting this stuff from!

_Question 98 comes from_**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Ew. I did not mean for them to land on your butt. That's disgusting. *takes out her wand* Next time I'm aiming them!**

Padfoot- Good idea ;D

Moony-Ew**…**

**And just to let you know why I said I could handle pranks but no knives in my back... I said that because Moony went after Padfoot with a knife. I do not want to virtually run for my life.**

Padfoot- Yeah *glances at Moony nervously* you gotta be careful…

Moony- *narrows his eyes*

Padfoot- :D

**Anyway, I just got back from really running for my life. I just played a prank on one of my enemies- it was even a harmless prank!- and let's just say that he came running after me with very sharp rock. Again. Plus he's a muggle, so I couldn't just use Levicorpus**.

Moony- Again?

Padfoot- Atta girl! And it was a boy oohh James would be proud.

Moony- She never said she liked him.

Padfoot- So? Isn't quite obvious she does? Girls are either mean to you or playful when they like you.

Moony- How do you know this?

Padfoot- Because Moony, I used to be straight.

Moony- Noo really?

Padfoot- Yeah and girls always came on to me like that.

_Not every girl is like that…you can use the friendly approach._

Padfoot- -_-…

**Questions!**

Moony, what's your opinion of Antonin Dolohov?

Moony- he's with that Death Eater club isn't he? He kind of creeps me out its like he's going to kill me or something…

Padfoot- Over my dead body!

_Er…*knows the truth but decides to say nothing*  
><em>**  
>Padfoot, what would you do if you met Professor Trelawney in animal form and she thought you were a Grim?<strong>

Padfoot- Professor Trelawney? There was this weird chick named Trelawney but she was in seventh year when we were in third *groans* don't tell me she's going to be a Professor?

Moony- She's pretty kooky…

Padfoot- If she thought_ I _was the Grim I would bark in her face :D

_Question 99 comes from _**kali yugah**

**ok then i'm hyped up on chocolate dessert pizza with strawberries and marshmellows and i have one serious question to ask. if you see a 100 ft mr stay puft marshmellow man "who are you gonna call?"**

Padfoot- MARSHMELLOW BUSTERS!

Moony- So I see she's not the only one on a sugar high…

Padfoot- Sugar high? No way I'm cutting back I've been getting fatter recently and-

Moony- You look pretty fit to me.

Padfoot- No I don't stop lying! My ears are big and my feet are big and my stomach is HUGE!*sobs*

Moony- Geez and here I was worried over my self-esteem!

Padfoot- Why should you be? Your skinny and f-fit *breaks down sobbing again*

Moony- -_-….Come here! *pulls into hug* Your fine stop freaking out!

Padfoot- But-

Moony- *growls*

Padfoot- Uh yes I'm fine I'm fit…

Moony- Good. :D**  
><strong>

_I know you're trying to help his self-esteem but who are you gonna call?  
><em>

Padfoot- I just said-

_I know what you said! Ug! Forget it guess we'll have to go with that answer. _

_Question 100 (OMG!OMG! OMG! OMG! 100!) comes from _i**mSiriuslyLupin4you**

**Wait... There's a Team Prongs? o.o *Briefly considers switching loyalties***

Can I be Team P? Or do I have to choose one? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU BOTH!

Padfoot- But I thought… : (

Moony- Wait till Prongs hears this…

Padfoot- You have to choose me! Its not fair Moony's already winning on the polls-

_To be fair nobody really votes so-_

Padfoot- Shut up Lizard!

_(Way to be mature -_-)_

Padfoot- And no one loves me!

Moony- Boo hoo Pads.

Padfoot- -_-…

Moony- :D

Padfoot- ITS BECAUSE I'm FAT ISN'T IT! ISN'T IT!

Moony- Calm down no one's calling you fat!

Padfoot- WAHHH!

Moony- Uh don't worry he'll get over it.

_Question 101(Dalmatians! Lol!) comes from_ **T.K. Riddle XD**

**Hey im back!**

Padfoot- Riddles!

Moony- Again with the nicknames?

**Oh yeh i know.. it's weird, although i did think it might have been you being lazy or not caring so that's a relief.. but its ok cos everyone, including my mum call me 'T' anyway so its all good..**

_No I do care! It just seemed to disappear and the end—anyone else notice that? I'm sorry I'll makes sure it appears this time._

Padfoot- You better! Shame on you disappointing the reviewers!

_: ( …_

Moony- Stop making her feel worse!

**Oh well.. I guess you guys are gonna have to convince me about which team to vote on cos im quite impartial..**

Padfoot- You should vote for me for a better tomorrow.

Moony- You should vote for me because I'm sensible

Padfoot- Oooh here comes the word of the month!

Moony- Shut up!

Padfoot- Make me_**!**_

*wrestling puppies*

_*sighs* I'll get the rope…_

**Thanks for the idea Padfoot.. it worked as well.. he didn't even complain.. that was until Narcissa showed up and spoiled my fun :(.. i need to get rid of her.. how do you guys suggest i do that?  
><strong>

Padfoot- Kill her! I never liked her much anyways. Her Christmas presents were crap.

Moony- No! No murders! No death!

Padfoot- But Mooonyy!

Moony- No!

Padfoot-*sighs* Fine then just half-kill her :D**  
><strong>

Moony-*sighs as well***  
><strong>

**Xxx**

Moony & Padfoot & _Lizard_- *smile*

_Question 102 comes from_ **Ecclestein**

**Sirius: I don't think that you should've gotten a motorcycle. I mean, I know you've already bought if so fine, you can keep it. **

Padfoot- Thank you ^_ ^

Moony- Don't encourage him!

**However, I really think that you should buy a VW van. Like, the ones that hippies drive? Yeah, you'd rock that shit. Oh, and Moony could sit in the front seat and complain about how you're going too fast or how you should strap in. It would be adorable.**

Padfoot- Heh Moony she got you spot on.

Moony- Shut up!

Padfoot & Lizard- Lol :D

Moony- -_-

_Question 103 comes from_**Viper's little Devil**

**Daddy, Uncle Remus,**

I am coming to the past. for a good reason. I need to get out of here. Can I?

Padfoot- I don't know what did your mum say?

Moony- You mean Snape's sister? :D

Padfoot- Stop bringing that up!

Moony- *snorts and laughs*

Padfoot- *growls* I guess you can come but for the time being you can act like my sister.

Moony- Good idea.

Padfoot- So yes you can come over.

_Question 104 comes from _**Lexis-RandomThoughts Mo**

**Hi Mooooooony~! Hi Siriuuuuuuus~! I vote for Moony even though I have to admit that Sirius is undoubtedly the sexy one. **

Moony- *cheers*

Padfoot- *sobs*

_o.o…You guys are taking this too seriously._

Padfoot- *cries* I-I am S-Sirius!

_-_-…_

**But anyway, I have a few questions...of course. It's an advice column. Right. ANYWAY! Sirius... have you ever suggested to Moony that you should make a video? Like, a VIDEO? THAT kind of VIDEO?  
><strong>

Padfoot- *looks over at a frowning Remus* Actually we have-*muffled*

Moony- *hand over Sirius's mouth* He's kidding we've never made that kind of video. What are you crazy? Hehe*nervous laughter*

_You guys have! Where is it where? *attempts to leave on a hunt*_

Moony- No! Get over here! *pulls her back*

_Awww!_**  
><strong>

**Remus... I actually cried really hard when you died...`so I'm telling you now, make the most out of your life! Don't hesitate! Also, can I have your autograph? **

Moony- So I do die…*scared slightly* Well then…I guess I should. *hands you an autograph*

Padfoot- You okay Moons?

Moony- I'll be…fine.

I'm sorry! :, ( If it makes you feel better you died quickly.

Moony- -_-…Thanks that really made me feel better.

_Ouch. Your sarcasm gets to me._

_Question 105 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Thanks for the shirt :). Look at the shirt I made *shows shirt she is wearing***

Padfoot- Nice.

Moony- Better than my shirt *shows his shirt*

**LIKE KLAINE. The Born This Way shirt that the New Directions made too.**

Padfoot- Cool!

Moony- Very cool.

**Another song *song starts playing***

**[The Warblers:]**

**Na, na, na, na, na**

**Na, na, na, na, na**

**[Blaine:]**

**Here we go again**

**I kinda wanna be more than friends**

**So take it easy on me**

**I'm afraid you're never satisified.**

**[Kurt:]**

**Here we go again**

**We're sick like animals**

**We play pretend**

**You're just a cannibal**

**And I'm afraid I wont get out alive**

**No I won't sleep tonight.**

**[Blaine with the Warblers:]**

**Oh, oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh, oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**Say goodbye to my heart tonight.**

**Oh oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**Say goodbye to my heart tonight.**

**[Blaine:]**

**Here we are again**

**I feel the chemicals kickin' in**

**It's gettin heavier**

**And I wanna run and hide**

**I wanna run and hide.**

**[Kurt:]**

**I do it every time**

**You're killin' me now**

**Blaine and [Kurt:]**

**And I won't be denied by you**

**The animal inside of you.**

**[Blaine with the Warblers:]**

**Oh, oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh, oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**Say goodbye to my heart tonight.**

**Oh oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**Say goodbye to my heart and [Kurt:]**

**Hush hush the world is quiet**

**Hush hush we both can't fight it**

**It's us that made this mess**

**Why can't you understand?**

**Woah I won't sleep tonight.**

**[Blaine with the Warblers:]**

**Oh, oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh, oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**Say goodbye to my heart tonight**

**Oh oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**What are you waitin'**

**[Kurt with the Warblers:]**

**Here we go again**

**Here we go again**

**Here we go again**

**Say goodbye to my heart tonight.**

**[Blaine with the Warblers:]**

**Oh, oh**

**I want some more**

**Oh, oh**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**What are you waitin' for?**

**Say goodbye to my heart tonight..**

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- I love that song!

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- Jinx!**  
><strong>

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- Hey! :O

**Hope you like the shirt and song. *Gives LIKE KLAINE shirt to Moon, Padfoot and Lizard***

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- Cool!

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- Stop saying what I'm saying!

**HECK YEAH I GOT THE WARBLERS SINGING WITH ME HAHA IN YOUR FACE BLAINE I STOLE YOUR SOLO.**

**Blaine: Well Klaine Lover your voice is nice and I'm too busy starring at Kurt.**

**Me: Well if you're in love with him why not just tell him.**

**Blaine: Well sorry if that happened he will hate me.**

**Me: Kurt can you come here for a minute.**

**Kurt: Yeah Klaine Lover?**

**Me: Blaine tell him I leave you guys alone now.**

**Blaine: *Blushes* Kurt can I tell you something?**

**Kurt: *blushes* Yeah what is it?**

**Blaine: To tell you the truth I love you from the time when we first met.**

**Kurt: *Blushes more* I love you too**

***Klaine kiss***

**Kurt: *takes out Iphone and texted people and Klaine Lover***

**Me: AAAWWW you guys got together that's cute *hugd Klaine***

**Klaine: *Hugs back***

**Me: How do you guys think about the shirt?**

**Klaine: It perfect**

**Me: Here this is for you guys *Hands out shirt***

**Klaine: Thank you and thank you for putting us together**

**Me: *Blushes and mumble you're welcome* Promise me that you guys will love each other forever.**

**Klaine: We promise.**

Padfoot- *cries * Oh boy's love!

Moony- Please let go of me *squirms in his grasp*

_Awww *sighs* I just love *squeals and faints*_

Moony & Padfoot- 0_o

_Question 106 comes from_ **bLiNeD bY eVoL**

**Hello Remus! I kinda don't want Sirius anymore he misses you to much he keeps moaning your name in his sleep I don't find it annoying in fact I've recorded it a few times! And I need advice so... *throws Sirius back* anyway about my advice.**

Padfoot- Wait wasn't I already here?

Other Padfoot- What the…

Oh crap! *takes out laser gun and kills the other Padfoot into dust*

Moony & Padfoot- o_0

_Uh-hum*clears throat* Well…uh anyways!_

**I'm at this new school where I know NO ONE I repeat NO. ONE. so I've been making a few friends like three or four but their not like the ones at my old school which is across town though I've come to love the rival school of my old school I still feel like I'm cheating on my old school with the new school! Answer this or I'll kidnapp Lily which will cause a very whiny James and I KNOW you don't want that!**

Padfoot- Ok Ok!

Moony- Now Now let's not do something irrational!

Padfoot- So what was what the question how to make new friends?

Moony- Simple be yourself. People are naturally drawn to you.

Padfoot- Yeah its true and you even get to meet so people who'll stick with you till the end.

Moony- Yeah…surree.

Padfoot- Moony!

Moony- :D Only kidding Sirius!

Padfoot- And you shouldn't feel like your cheating your school I never felt like I was cheating Slytherin when I got into Gryffindor.

Moony- You don't like Slytherin

Padfoot- Exactly :D

_Question 107 comes from_ **SetoXSara**

**Hello Dudies and Lizzy Lizard!**

Moony- Hello!

Padfoot- Hi!

_What up home skillet?_

**Must say imSiriuslyLupin4you, you are not alone! We are together as Padfooties! **

Padfoot- YAYY!

_Finally right?_

**So, would you lke to join my Team Padfoot cheerleading squad? 2 4 6 8, who do we appreciate? Padfoot! Pad, Pad, Pad, Pad, Padfoot! GOOO PADFOOT!**

Padfoot- Hah! See I even have my own cheering squad!

Moony- May your head explode one day…

**-Goes all solemn- I realised something. If Peter isn't the Secret Keeper, then he won't tell Voldemort where the Potters are. And then Voldemort won't go after them, Lily won't sacrifice herself, and Harry won't destroy Voldemort! That means... Voldemort could rule the world! AHHHHHHH! HELP! -sits and cries in the corner, shaking- Sorry. I... have... to... go... now.**

Padfoot- What is all this traitor Secret Keeper stuff?

_Its nothing! Don't worry your pretty little head about it! *laughs nervously*_

Moony- Now I'm worried…

_Last Question 108 comes from_** Kammy**

**Hi Siri! Hi Remus!**

Moony & Padfoot- Hi!

**Fopirst off let me say tha I am Team Sirius all the way! He is hott and awesome! What more could you want!**

Padfoot- That's what I'm saying!

Moony- *rolls eyes*

**My question is if you were stranded on a deserted island and could only have five things( people included) who or what would you want?**

Padfoot- Oh I love these questions!

-Moony- I have to bring him or I'll die from carpal tunnel!

Moony & Lizard- Whoa!

-My motorcycle—I would never cream of leaving it with anyone else!

-A time turner cause I might get bored

-A couch made out of leather

-And finally, a big bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans!

Moony- Four of those things were pointless.

Padfoot- I don't think you're pointless!

Moony- What? I was talking about your motorcycle!

Padfoot- Oooh…_hey!_

Moony- Well I hope my list is better for survival

-Books for entertainment.

-Loads of chocolate!

-My wand ( of course)

-Sirius maybe (if he doesn't act like a twit)

-And shelter.

_Those are good lists mine would just be Food, Shelter, My family, and all of Technology. That seems good enough._

**My five thins would be Shelter, Sirius, Music, Food, and a Bed! ;) ( winks at Sirius) I LOVE YOU SIRIUS!**

Padfoot- Awww I love you too Kam! Psst—vote for me!

Moony- Don't vote for him! He has fleas!

Padfoot- I DO NOT! Take it back!

Moony- Never! :D

_*sighs* Yeah I best be off too…getting sleepy *stumbles away* _

_ITS OVER!_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sorry this took so long...been busy Damn! That's a lot questions!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>HOE! <strong>_

_Good now that I have your attention welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column_

_Question 109 comes_**kali yugah**

**YOU GOT THE WRONG ANSWER! "calms down after the shouting" the answer was "GHOSTBUSTERS!"**

Padfoot- but you said marshmellow man…?

Moony- I have no comment.

_Me neither…_

**also "take bazooka" goodbye cheerleading team of padfoot! *house full of cheerleaders of padfoot explodes*now black get this right or BAZOOKA TIME!**

Padfoot-*frightened* OKAY! OKAY! JUST PLEASE DON"T KILL ME!

Moony- Yeah just put the bazooka and calm down!

**The answer to life is?**

**Padfoot- Love?**

**Moony- Chocolate! ^_^**

**Padfoot- -_-**

_Question 110 comes from…er… _

Padfoot- whoa weird it's blank!

Moony- No name?

_No name! :O_

**Oh, Padfoot you're not fat... I'M fat. I'm TEN POUNDS overweight! *sobs* Please... No sympathy cake! Well... Maybe a little. I'm so hungry...**

Moony- How about sugar-free sympathy cake? *hands you said cake*

Padfoot- I don't think you're fatter than me! I'm sorry if you feel that way but I bet you you're not fatter than me and you shouldn't see yourself that way.

_Yeah I mean if anyone's fat here…_

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- I agree with Padfoot you shouldn't pity yourself.

Padfoot- Easy for you to say Mr. Twig!

Moony- You think I don't feel self-conscious! I'm ugly hairy and skinny and pale and scarred!

Padfoot- What Moony you're beautiful!

Moony- *blush* That's what I've been trying to tell _you_.

Padfoot- Oh…*blush*

**Anyway, I'm extremely Team Padfoot. The only reason I was considering Team Prongs is because he is the only Marauder with glasses. Therefor he is worthy of my support.**

Padfoot- I can wear glasses too you know! Sunglasses!

Moony- I don't think that's what they meant-

Padfoot- Shut up! It's my comment to infer!

Moony- -_-

**But Padfoot will forever be awesomer (and thin). Because a) he's Padfoot b) his name is a pun and c) he has a cute boyfriend. (see, I don't hate you Moony! I even named my toy Wolf after you! He protects me from the monster under my bed... ^.^)**

Moony- Aw thank you.

Padfoot- Yeah you're so nice! And I'm glad that you're voting for me!

_Wow you guys are acting civilized._

Moony & Padfoot- -_-

_:D_

_Question 111 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**よ、お元気ですか？****(yo how are you?) well this is another song I know I just love The Warblers.**

Padfoot- Is that Chinese?

Moony- No Pads its Japanese right?

**Oh yeah**

**Oh yeah**

**So scared of breaking it**

**But you won't let it bend**

**And I wrote two hundred letters**

**I won't ever send**

**Somehow it is cut so much**

**Deeper then they seem**

**You'd rather cover up**

**I'd rather let them be**

**So let me be**

**And I'll set you free**

**[CHORUS]**

**I am in misery**

**There ain't no other**

**Who can comfort me**

**Why won't you answer me?**

**Your silence is slowly killing me**

**Girl you really got me bad**

**You really got me bad**

**I'm gonna get you back**

**Gonna get you back**

**Your salty skin and how**

**It mixes in with mine**

**The way it feels to be**

**Completely intertwined**

**It's not that I didn't care**

**It's that I didn't know**

**It's not what I didn't feel,**

**It's what I didn't show**

**So let me be**

**And I'll set you free**

**[CHORUS]**

**I am in misery**

**There ain't no other**

**Who can comfort me**

**Why won't you answer me?**

**Your silence is slowly killing me**

**Girl you really got me bad**

**You really got me bad**

**I'm gonna get you back**

**Gonna get you back**

**Say your faith is shaken**

**You may be mistaken**

**You keep me wide awake and**

**Waiting for the sun**

**I'm desperate and confused**

**So far away from you**

**I'm getting here**

**Don't care where I have to go**

**Why do you do what you do to me, yeah**

**Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah**

**Why do you do what you do to me yeah**

**Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah**

**[CHORUS]**

**I am in misery**

**There ain't no other**

**Who can comfort me**

**Why won't you answer me?**

**Your silence is slowly killing me**

**Girl you really got me bad**

**You really got me bad**

**I'm gonna get you back**

**Gonna get you back**

***clapping***

**So this is a question  
>Did you guys ever watch the anime Prince of Tennis? <strong>

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- No. Sorry!

_Would you recommend it?_

**Lizard I'm more of Japanese Pop and I like yaoi maybe we can talk about it one day. **

_Well me too I mean I like Japanese Pop too. I like everything, exceptions are some kinds of country music eh…they just don't do it for me. And yes we should talk about yaoi! ^_^_

Padfoot-*clears throat rudely* Excuse me who is she actually here for?

_-_-…_

**Blaine: Klaine Lover help me I need you help for fashion I have a date with Kurt later and I dunno what to wear.**

**Me: Well it's still early let's go shopping. Guys wanna come with us?**

**Blaine: Okay**

**10 minutes later at the shopping mall clothes shop**

**Me: Okay leather jeans a blue V-neck and leather jacket and converse shoes there perfect *go and pay for the things***

**Blaine: Thanks Klaine Lover**

**Me: Well with my friends help Kaidoh Kaoru I wouldn't even know what is good for you.**

**Blaine: Oh.**

**Me: What are you waiting for go home and change I will go with you.**

**10 minutes later at Blaine's house**

**Me: Woah it's the best mansion ever *goes into Blaine's room* WOW did you like paint the Gryffindor sign on your wall?**

**Blaine: Yeah it took me weeks to paint that on the wall. Well I will be changing now then pick Kurt for the date *goes into bathroom to change***

**Me: * whisper to Lizard Padfoot and Moony* Want to follow them on their date?**

**Blaine *comes out* so how do I look?**

**Me: HOT 0.0**

**Blaine: *blushes* Thank you. Well time for me to go. *leaves***

**Me: Bye. Okay Blaine is gone for the date let's go.**

**At the park**

**Klaine: *at a restaurant feeding each other***

**Me: You go boys sooo kawaii well at least that nobody in this restaurant is homophobic if not I would kill them with a killing spell or tear them from limb to limb. *with sadist smile***

**Kurt: Blaine did I tell you that you look hot in that outfit because I don't remember that you have fashion stance. And I love this place it's so difficult to dine in this french restaurant.**

**Blaine: Well Klaine Lover help me with the fashion and I booked this table for us.**

**Klaine: *finished eating, payed for the food and left the place***

**Me: Wait let me pay. *takes out money and pay for the food* *follows Klaine***

**At the park**

**Kurt: Thank you. I love you.**

**Blaine: Your welcome. I love you too.**

**Klaine: *kisses***

**Blaine: I'll drive you home.**

**Kurt: Sure**

**Outside Kurt's house**

**Kurt: Goodnight and drive home safely. *kisses Blaine on the cheek***

**Blaine: *Kisses Kurt on his cheek* Goodnight and I will drive home safely.**

**Back at the Gryffindor common room**

**Me: That was fun and sweet. How do you guys like about Klaine's date? *nosebleed after reading so many doujinshi about Inui and Kaidoh while stalking Klaine***

Moony- I thought that was cute!

_I second that motion._

Padfoot- Moony how come we never have dates like that?

Moony- -_-

Padfoot-*pouts*

Moony-*ignores him*

_Question 112 comes from_**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Hi guys!**

Moony- Hi

Padfoot- 'sup

**Sure you could hit the tank - I done that once, when my fish was alive, and it nearly jumped out of it...**

Moony- Oh! Don't kill the poor thing!

Padfoot & Lizard- -_-

Moony- What?

Padfoot- Honey remember her fish is already dead….?

Moony- Oops! Sorry! Whoa I guess I had a brainfart.

Padfoot- Hee hee Moons you're just too cute!

_*pretends to gag*_

Padfoot- *ignores Lizard*

**Thank you, Sirius, for yelling at the fish. I appreciate it...I would send her to a clinic but then I wouldn't have anyone to cook my dinner or pay for my internet. I need dinner and internet!**

Padfoot- Good point!

Moony- What! You people are honestly saying internet and dinner being made for you is more important than your mother's health

Padfoot & Lizard- YUP!

Moony- -_-…

Padfoot- Honestly the dirt under my toenails is more important than _my_ mother but that's just me.

Moony- Hmm…Good point.

**For the last time – I. Am. Not. Lily! (Lizard, it would probably be Lily – I prefer her)**

Padfoot- Alright we believe you…Evans ;D

Moony- She's just made it clear she's not Lily, Sirius let it go.

Padfoot- Oh I will… (Evans…;D)

Moony- *sighs*

_Yeah if I had red hair I'd probably be her to Ginny doesn't do much in the movies._

**Well, my friend Xhesi (pronounced Jessie) and I have a dilema. I'm more like Remus whereas she's like Sirius. Now, we want a James! Do you think he would prefer someone who is loud, sarcastic but popular or someone who is quite...annoying, tactless but funny? **

Moony- Annoying and tactless

_Er you forgot the "but funny" part Remus._

Moony- Hm…_Did I?_

Padfoot- Mean Moony! I pick the first one someone besides Female Sirius needs to score the hot popular chicks or one hot chick in particular…

Moony- But James isn't _that s_arcastic.

Padfoot- Hmm…Now that I think about it he's not _very_ popular either.

_Just chose one! *impatient already*_

Padfoot- Fine -_-. What Moony said.

**Thanks!**

Moony & Padfoot- You're welcome!

_Question 113 comes from_** SetoXSara**

**Hi Remus! :D S'up Lizzy skillet? :D**

Padfoot-*gasp of outrage* What about me?

_What about you?_

Padfoot- -_-

_:D_

**Ready girls? -looks at squad she has gathered together- Give me an S! Give me an I! Give me an R! Give me an I! Give me a U! Give me an S! What does that spell? SIRIUS! Woooo! -cheerios- Vote for Padfoot! Take 5 girls! **

Padfoot- HA! I got a better hello than you!

Moony- Great there he goes again. His old hats won't even fit him anymore…

_Still with those big head jokes?_

Moony-'Course ^_^

Padfoot- Haha Moony you're wonderful sense of humor is well noted -_-

Moony- :D

**So hey guys! It's our first routine. You like?**

Moony & Lizard- *shrug* Eh.

Padfoot-*glares at them* Don't listen to them their just jealous. Green with envy I tell you! I loved it!

**Anyway, I'm stopping the whole future telling thing now. I don't like solemness. Moony, where's the made picture? And I must find this tape!**

Moony- I don't know what you're talking about!

_About the picture or the tape?_

Moony- Both!

Padfoot- What tape? Ohh! The one we made? It's in the-*muffled words*

Moony- The trash it's in the trash! Yeah that's it!

_If I go through you're garbage and I don't find it…-_-_

Moony-*gulps nervously*

**imSiriuslyLupin4you! You can't change now! Once a Padfootie, always a Padfootie! I am Dedicated! When you come to your senses, you can join the squad.**

Padfoot- FINALLY! A loyal Padfootie. Just for that* hands you a pair of long furry black socks with Padfoot's face on them*

Moony- o.o…What the hell are those?

Padfoot- Padfooties! Duh! They'll keep your toesies warm in the winter!

Moony- Of all the ridiculous—

Padfoot- Lalalaaaa! Can't hear you!

Moony-*sighs* Of course you can't =_=

**Kay, I have to go to practise now, for our first song! Bye xxxxxxxxx (3 for each of you)**

*blushingly accept*

_Question 114 comes from _**Nancy Black**

**Daddy, Uncle Remus,**

**Enclosed are some pictures of me so that you can know what I look like.**

**(Several pictures of a raven haired grey eyed girl fall out)**

**ps. I'm right behind you.**

Padfoot- What the-?

*all turn around*

Padfoot- Nancy! What the heck!

Moony- Whoa she looks just like you!

_Don't talk about her as if she's not here! _

Moony- Oh sorry Nancy…

Nancy- Its fine.

Moony- So um…is Snape really your uncle?

Nancy- Yeah…

Moony- *clueless of what to say next*

_Uhh...so we now have another person to help out with advice…moving on!_

_Question 115 comes from_**T.K. Riddle XD**

**Riddles, i like that.. oh could i be like The Riddler? that would be awesome…**

_And so it shall it be._

Padfoot- You mean like the Riddler from Batman? I love that guy!

Moony- I like him too…what about you Nancy?

Nancy- Um yeah I guess…

*awkward silence ensures*

**Aw you didn't disappoint me Lizard, don't listen to Padfoot..**

_I'm not…*gives a -_- look at Padfoot*_

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- -_-

Nancy- -_-

*everyone! -_-*

**A better tomorrow? really Padfoot? how would you ensure that?**

Padfoot- How would I not ;D

Moony- Way to answer your own question…*sarcasm intended*

**and Moony i've never really been a big fan of sensibility to be honest.. so i dont know..**

Moony- Well I have to be better than Fleas over here. *points at Padfoot*

Padfoot- Hey!

Nancy- *holds in laugh*

Padfoot- Nancy that's not funny! *grabs her and puts her in front of him* Get in there defend my honor!

Nancy- Well Daddy's flea shampoo doesn't smell that bad…

Moony& Lizard- *laughing*

Nancy- :D

Padfoot- -_-…

**Hmm.. murder.. not really sure if im capable of that.. although.. for Luscious and his rather large cane, i would do anything.. so.. maybe..**

Everyone- o_O

**And exactly how do i half-kill someone?**

Padfoot- Well find a rather blunt object get a good grip then-

Moony- Wait a second! No, no half-killing anyone!

Padfoot & Lizard & Nancy- Awww

Moony- o.o…You people are crazy! You actually want to half-kill someone!

Padfoot & Lizard & Nancy- Welllll…

Moony- That's it MOVING ON!

**Question: Riddle me this.. what should i get my sister for her birthday? ive got her quite a few things already.. she's a big Moony-lover, and i want to get her something really special.. so what do you guys suggest?**

Moony- Chocolate!

Padfoot- You would say that Moons

Moony- Well she likes me right? And I love chocolate!

Padfoot- Well you could get her a toy wolf call it Moony...

Nancy- I used to have one like that!

Moony- What happened to it?

Nancy- Nothing why?

Moony- Well you just said…

Nancy- Did I?

Moony- *sighs* Just like her father…

Padfoot- *smirks at Nancy*

**Xxx**

Moony- Thank you!

_Thanks!_

Padfoot- Hehe *winks at you*

Nancy- Dad! Quit being a flirt!

_Question 116 from_ **CANTLOGIN**

**Hi I'm back! And before you say Oh her/him again remember i gave it a couple chapters so no more complaining **

Moony- I don't complain I enjoy your company.

Padfoot- So do I!

**here is a present Snuffles *Flea Shampoo* Moony you might want to bathe him with it because if I did it would be creepy but since you two are sorta. . .you know what. . . then you should do it**

Moony- Gladly :D

Padfoot-*whimpers* No Moony!

Nancy- It's for the greater good Dad.

Padfoot- NOOO!

**Moony your middle name is John? wow**

Moony- Yes named after my Dad.

**Sirius what is your middle name?**

Padfoot- Orion.

Moony- After your dad right?

Padfoot- Of course everyone in England has their dad's name as their middle name—it's the _law_

Nancy- No it isn't.

Padfoot- -_-…

**mine is CENSORED i like it**

_Ah I get it :D_

Moony- Yes quite delightful…-_-

Padfoot- What?

Nancy- That's funny!

Padfoot- What is?

Moony- Come on Padfoot- are you honestly going to sit there and tell me you don't get it.

Padfoot-…I don't get it.

Moony- *sighs*

_CAN'T CENSORED LOGIN…?_

Padfoot- …Fucking?

Moony- -_- Don't say it out loud idiot!

_Moving on…_

**Have you ever heard of Billy Joel? He is my favourite.**

Padfoot- Ever heard of the Sex Pistols?

Moony- Sirius I don't thi-

**Late at night **(Moony- Never mind)  
><strong><br>When it's dark and cold**

**I reach out**

**For someone to hold**

**When I'm blue**

**When I'm lonely**

**She comes through**

**She's the only one who can**

**My baby grand**

**Is all I need**

**Have you heard of Elton John? He is my other favourite.**

**Blue Jean baby**

**LA Lady**

**Seamstress for the band**

**Pretty eyed *smiles at Remus***

**Pirate Smile *looks at Padfoot***

**You'll marry a music man *sighs***

**Ballerina**

**Must've seen her**

**Tiny Dancer**

**in my hand**

**By the way I'm a girl**

Padfoot- You're a _girl_?

Moony- A quarter to the people here are girls it's only obvious.

Padfoot- Shut up!

**Bye! _ funny stare isn't it?**

Padfoot- That is a funny stare

Moony- I hope you're smiling.

_Question 117 comes from _**Ecclestein**

**You guys made a dirty video of yourselves? Well, that certainly explains the moustaches...**

Moony- No we don't where did you hear this from?

Padfoot- What moustaches? I shave girlfriend *snap snap*

**And speaking of moustaches, DON'T EVER GROW THEM. Siriusly, by the time you guys are thirty, Moony'll look like John Holmes, and Sirius'll look like Captain Hook.**

Moony- Well at least she's not telling me I'll die…

Padfoot- Captain Hook eh? *winks at Moony* Wanna come on my ship Moony? My big ship?

Moony- Are you _luring_ me?

Padfoot- I don't know is it working?

Moony- Hardly.

_Question 118 comes from_ **SilverPhoenixwithGoldenTears**

**What. The. Hell?**

Everyone- o_O?

**Cheerleaders?**

Padfoot- Yeah MY cheerleaders! ^_^

**You have got to be f***ing kidding me!**

Moony- I wish…

Padfoot- Hey!

Moony- ^_^

**By the way, love the story.**

_And I love you! *throws herself at you*_

Padfoot- Stop throwing yourself at people!

_*sighs* Fine._

_Question 119 comes from_**theherbflower**

**Hi! : ) **

Padfoot- Hi!

Moony- Hello

Nancy- 'sup

_YO!What up?_

Moony- -_-

**so i totally vote for padfoot, cause he's the sexy one. **

Padfoot- That I am *smirks*

Moony- I worry for your father sometimes Nancy.

**lol but i do have a question. see my evil overlord of a sister is being a total umbridge and i need a valid good prank to get her with, cause it would be funny and make me laugh my arse off.**

_Oh! Oh! Put chili in her shampoo!_

Moony- Ouch!

Padfoot- Put a crocodile in the tub when she's showering ^_^

Moony- That's a little…

Nancy- Hire a bounty hunter to kidnap her and leave her stranded in some bear-infested woods.

Moony- What is wrong with you people?

Padfoot- That's my girl *hugs Nancy*

**cheers and all! -theherbflower**

Padfoot-*squeals* You talk like us! With an accent!

_Lucky…_

Moony- Well you have an accent to us…

_Yeah an American accent ugh -_-_

Nancy- You aren't proud to be an American?

Padfoot-*singing* Where at least I know I'm free and I'll proudly stand up next to you—

_Alright enough! Yes I'm proud…we have greasy overpriced food! Hoorah!_

Padfoot- Hoo-rah!

Moony-*slightly clueless* Hoo…rah…?

_Question 120 comes from _**CANTLOGIN**

**i forgot a couple things**

**first, can I come to neverland with you?**

Moony- Uh no sorry we aren't going to Neverland-

Padfoot- Yeah we are Moons! After graduation!

Moony- Right…(no we aren't)

Padfoot- What did you say?

Moony- Nothing hon!

Padfoot- -_-*suspicious*

Moony-*innocent smile* :D

Padfoot- :D

**Second, moony, i am very sorry you had to find out about Antoine (or whatever) **

Moony- Dolohov? What about him?

Padfoot- I think he may have killed you mate.

Moony- o.o

**and Sirius, um. . . . . yeah Rowling killed you off. Bellatrix killed you, but Rowling killed you OFF.**

Padfoot- Hmph! Jealous broad she is!

Moony- -_-…I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

**third, can i have a padfoot subscription? **

Padfoot- You sure can! *hands you one* Team Padfoot! WOOO!

_I said we weren't doing that!_

Padfoot-*ignores her* Come one Nancy Woo with Daddy!

Nancy-*puts her arms up like Sirius* Woo…?

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- -_-

Nancy- :D?

**and moony, if you have a sharpie pen, you can help me with what i was about to do.**

Moony- If its not something illegal then I'll help. I don't want to get arrested…_again_ *glares at Padfoot*

Padfoot- :D LOL

Moony-*grumbles off*

**fourth, TRANSMOGRIFIER RAY! NOW SIRIUS IS A WITTLE CHIWAWA PUPPY AND MOONY IS A PARROT! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

Padfoot-*barking happily*

Nancy- Uh oh!

Moony- Squawk! That wasn't very nice! Squawk!

_Great now I'll have to change them back…maybe *evil grin*_

Nancy-*backs away slowly with her father in her hands*

_Question 121 comes from _**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Just got back from camping!**

**Anyway, Padfoot, you might want to reconsider what you said about me liking that muggle kid. Because there is a reason I hate his guts. Two reasons. Three reasons. Four reasons.**

**REASON NUMERO UNO: He sings Justin Bieber. I HATE JUSTIN BIEBER.**

**REASON NUMERO DOS: He has no sense of humor, resulting in me having to run for my life uncountable times.**

**REASON NUMERO TRES: Every full moon he runs outside when he hears a howl and I have to drag him back home.**

**REASON NUMERO CUATRO: Said enemy is my brother. -_-**

Padfoot- Oops!

Moony-…Idiot…

**Question!**

**All of you (Lizard included): What would you write on your gravestone, had you the choice?**

Padfoot- Hmm…Here lived the most interesting man in the world…

Moony- Wow and here I expect a big rant of how amazing and sexy you are…

Padfoot-*smirks*

Moony- Wait that—I didn't mean! *blushes*

Nancy- Dad stop raping Uncle Remus!

_Hehe Uncle Remus *chuckles at inside joke about this book of animal fables told by said Uncle Remus, partly the reason she checked it out from the library*_

Moony- -_- How is that even an inside joke?

_I don't know*shrugs* Anyways, I would put 'Here lies the one chick you're mother warned you about.'_

Padfoot-*done raping* Nice!

Moony-*panting* Stupid horny mutt…Oh um…*clears throat* Yeah I would just put my name or something.

_Lame! _

Padfoot- I agree. Put something like…Remus J. Lupin The bravest man Sirius ever knew'

Nancy & Lizard- Awww!

Moony- -_- fangirls *snorts* Thank you Pads…but I'm not that brave.

Padfoot-*rolls eyes* Whatever you say Rem.

**I CHOOSE REDVINES! (Go to a very potter musical)**

Padfoot- Nice one!

Moony- -_-

_Question 122 comes from_ **itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Hi Moony hi Padfoot**

Moony & Padfoot- Hi!

**Okay my little brother keeps trying to get me back because I embarrassed him in front of his friends what is the best way not to get caught in one of his pranks. **

Padfoot- Never share toothbrushes with him!

Moony- -_- Smart Pads, real smart. I still don't know why you let James use your toothbrush…

Padfoot- I don't know either! : (

_Lock your room!_

Moony- Hide all your valuables.

Nancy- If he's coming up behind you turn around quickly. Damn Weasleys…

Padfoot- And always keep-

Everyone- **Constant Vigilance!**

Everyone- Hey! Jinx!

Everyone- Double Jinx!

5 HOURS LATER

Everyone- =_= 100th Jinx.

**By the way I embarrassed him by walking up to him and telling him the mum wants her kiss good bye and that she bought you that toy you wanted.. you know the pink one? yeah.**

**Padfoot- Yeah definitely keep constant vigilance.**

**It was funny by the way I vote Team WolfStar because your both to cute too choose between and no Padfoot im not trying to steal Moony. **

Padfoot- Good! No one steals my Moony and gets away with it!

Moony- He's so overprotective *blushes*

Nancy & Lizard- *exchange eye rolls*

**By the way I want to annoy my brother again what should I do**

Padfoot- Poke him until he chases you never fails *smiles at Moony*

Moony-*eye twitches*

_Put chili in his—_

Moony- No! No more chili anywhere!

_Aw!_

Moony-*sighs*

Nancy- Put _ketchup_ in his shampoo?

_Good one!_

Moony- Dear God what have I done =_=

***hands big box of chocolate to them* thanks**

Moony-*yanks it away like a mad man and proceeds to eat them in the corner of the room*

Padfoot- He's so cute! :D

Nancy & Lizard- 0.0

_I worry for your father sometimes Nancy._

Nancy-*sighs* So everyone keeps saying…

**also I wanna hug**

*Padfoot and Moony squish you into a bear hug*

*accidently Moony leaves chocolate stains on your clothes*

Moony- Oops *chuckles nervously* Sorry!

**XXX**

Padfoot-*yanks them away like a mad man and proceeds to the corner of the room*

_I'm in a room with a bunch of weirdoes…-_-_

Nancy- Hey! _(No offense Nancy!)_

_Last Question 123 comes from_ **Elliot Wolfe**

**Hahaha! Ok first, I love you guys!**

**Padfoot- Feels great to be LOVED!**

**Moony- I hope I'm not around to see your head explode…**

**Padfoot- -_- Har Har Remmie.**

**Moony- ^_^**

**But mostly Moony. He's adorable. ^_^!**

Moony- Oh! *blushes* Thank you!

Padfoot- Yeah Skanks for nothing

*smacks Padfoot's head*

Padfoot- Ow!

Bad dog!

Padfoot-*whimpers*

Nancy- No comment…

**Annnyway, I have a question for you Moony,  
>I love to read and I have bookshelves FULL of books but I've read them all already. What book do you think I should read?<br>**

Moony- Have you read _A Separate Peace_? It's good. Lizard loaned it to me.

_I read it for English…reminds me of you guys except Sirius doesn't die of marrow poisoning and Remus doesn't push him out of a tree in a scary fit of jealousy._

Padfoot- What? That's _nothing_ like us! (_Didn't I just say that? -_-)_ That book sounds _awful_! Go read _Naruto_ instead!

Moony & Lizard- -_-

**And Padfoot, Why are you so protective of dear Moony?**

Padfoot- I'm not!*smacks a fly attempting to bite _his _Moony*

Moony- No you're not -_-

Padfoot- Exactly!...Ah! Moony Duck! The fly didn't die!*runs in front of Remus and fly lands on him instead*AHHH! FLY!

Moony- God you're overprotective!*opens a window and fly flies out*

_Awww Moony you didn't kill him!*beaming at the kind man in front of her*_

Moony- Of course not. All life is sacred.

Nancy & Lizard-*squeals*

Moony- o.o?

**And can I get a Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club Subscription? Pretty Please with a chocolate bar?**

Moony- Of course *hands you one*

Padfoot- *huffs*

_Yay! We're done *yawns* Time to go hit the hay.*leaves*_

Padfoot- Hit the what?

Moony- It's an expression it mean s go to sleep.

Padfoot- Oh! Heh heh wanna go sleep with me Moony?

Moony- No can do you have a daughter to take care of now go show her around I have an essay due in Transfiguration anyways.

Padfoot- Aw! Maybe later?

Nancy- Dad let's go kill Draco's dad so he never has the slimeball!

Padfoot- Hold on sweetie. Moony?

Moony-*smirks* Trust me Pads; all you'll want to do is hit the hay when you get back.

Padfoot- But! *gets dragged away by Nancy* Moooonnnyyy!

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah...<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

_Question124 comes from _**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Yeah... that would be wrong if I liked my brother. Idiot. XD**

Padfoot- Well sorry! How was I supposed to know!

**I finally got my computer to work at Hogwarts! I am a genius, I am. All I had to do was to put up a giant black box right over the laptop, and charm it with a spell of my own creation. Magic cannot get in that way, and therefore my laptop doesn't go haywire. What do you think?**

Padfoot- I think I found a new best friend.

Moony- Oh whatever you only want her for her computer!

Padfoot- Yeah…true like I only want you for your hot body…

Moony- What?

Padfoot- :) Nothing!

**Question for Prongs. Accio Prongs!**

**Prongs: What am I doing here!**

**Marisa: Answering questions. What would you name your two grandsons and a granddaughter?**

**Prongs: Er... James? That's a good name... the granddaughter would be Lily...**

**Marisa: BINGO!**

**Prongs: Oh... really? And the other grandson would be... um...**

**Marisa: AH! Rose is coming. *banishes James* Aw darn, he didn't guess my boyfriend's name. :( Albus does need some educating in the way of pranks though... *evil laugh***

**QUESTION FOR ALL OF YOU: I played a prank on James II, and he keeps charming Mrs. Norris's kittens to follow me everywhere…what should I do?**

Padfoot- Simple get a group of dogs to follow James II…wait who's that?

Moony- I think that's James's grandson.

Padfoot- Oh! So this is in the future?

Moony- Yeah.

Padfoot- Ew how is Mrs. Norris even still alive? And what kind of cat would want babies with that witch in disguise?

Moony- -_-

_Question 125 comes from_ **kali yugah**

**sigh for the marshmellow man here watch ghostbusters.****for the meaning of life thr answet is 42.**

_Aw! I was close I guessed 43!_

Moony & Nancy- O.O?

Padfoot- :D

_What?_

Moony & Padfoot & Nancy- Nothing!

_-_-*suspicious*_

**my answers are given to you while i am in a cozy padded room where i can hug myself all day and bounce off of the walls. :)**

*everyone* O_o!

_Question 126 comes from _**Ecclestein**

**My birthday's in a month! I'll be 15. However, I'm curious as to when your birthdays are. When are they, and how old will you be?**

Padfoot- I'm 17 and next January I'll be 18 and a man!

Moony- Good for you I'm 17 as well and next March I'll be "a man" as well.

Nancy- I'm going to be 14 soon…

_Haha! Finally I'm kind of older! Well before Nancy I was the youngest I'm 15 and hopefully I'll be turning 16 in October 27! WOOO! What are you guys gonna get me?_

Padfoot- Er…Sympathy cake :D?

Moony- Oops :D?

**PS: Moony, I don't think you know who John Holmes is.**

Moony- No I don't but don't worry I don't plan on getting a moustache any time soon!

**He's a porn star.**

Moony- O_O!

Padfoot- ;D Nice!

**Sincerely,  
>Ecclestein<strong>

_Question 127 comes from _**elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot:**

**-dies of happiness-**

**-revives-**

**I finally got my computer back!WHOOPEE!**

Moony- Yayz!

Padfoot- -_-

**-dies again-**

**-revives again-**

Moony & Lizard & Nancy- O.O!

**prince of tennis is awesome but Naruto is awesome-er. How are you Remus and Lizard?**

Moony- Fine ^_^

_Meh._

**And you Padfoot.**

Padfoot- Handy dandy.

**BTW Padfoot i'll give you this box full of sex toys if you give me that pic*holds out the box***

Padfoot- *evil glint in his eyes*

Moony- *gulps*

Padfoot- *hands over smexy maid pic*

Moony- NOOOO!

**And Moony if you give me the pic with Padfoot i'll give a tub of chocolate*pushes tub forward*.So how about it?**

Moony- *drools and hands it over*

Padfoot- NOOOO!

**Love you you know i learned an important lesson from catman.-flees-**

Moony- Fleeing. The coolest way to run from the scene.

_That's true or flailing! Ever done that? :D_

Padfoot- Once….I hit my head but I think I is fines…

_O_O! Yeah…you is fines…_

_Question 128 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**你好吗？ ****No Padfoot this is Chinese though I'm full blood Chinese in a country you don't know I quitting singing for my fucking end of year exams and my laptop is confiscated so yeah.**

Padfoot- Wow that sucks…at least your parents didn't force you to sit in a tub full of cold water in the middle of winter because you brought up a certain James Potter, proclaiming that you two were brothers now.

Moony- What the hell? That happen to you?

Padfoot- Er, no?

**Blaine: Klaine Lover have you study for the exams?**

**Me: Thank you for your concern Blaine I studied.**

**Wes: Klaine Lover I need help!**

**Me: What?**

**Wes: Help me I'm in lover with David my best friend.**

**Me: How about asking Padfoot, Moony, Nancy and Lizard maybe they can help. I say just confess to him. Wait you're bi? *turn to Lizard* yes I would recommend it :) Guys help Wes confess his feelings to his best pal.**

**David: Hi is Wes here?**

**Me: Yeah he's here *whispers to Wes tell him or I kill you***

**Blaine: Bye guys I'm going to Lima beans to get coffee.**

**Me: Okay. * continuing studying then faints out of exhaustion***

**Blaine Wes David: OMG**

**Wes: calm down it's exhaustion**

**Blaine: Okay let's put her on the bed so she can rest**

**Wes: Okay. This is the question she asked me to tell you to help me confess to somebody I love.**

Moony- Well when you approach him or her tell them if you can talk to them privately then confess.

Padfoot- Or you could yell it to them!

_Or write it in a note and hand it to them._

Nancy- Or use a sky writer!

Padfoot- Good one Nancy!

**Thank you :) ****谢谢****.**

Moony- You're welcome!

Padfoot- Good luck!

_Question 129 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

***is outraged***

**WHY THE HELL DIDN'T MY NAME SHOW UP? I FRIGGGEN *kicks wall and throws stuffed Wolf on the floor* Sorry Sweetie! *Cuddles wolf* So so sorry! I'm so awful! *sobs***

*everyone slightly back away*

**Oh and SetoXSara, i was ALWAYS loyal to Padfoot! ALWAYS! **

Padfoot- Awww so loyal! Padfooties *hands you a pair*

**I was merely CONSIDERING Team Prongs. Did you hear that? CONSIDERING! *is breathing heavily as I attempt to calm down* Now, the only reason that I CONSIDERED Team Prongs is because he too has horrid vision and can sympathize with me. Sirius couldn't do that because he is perfect and has no need for meddlesome perscriptioned glasses.**

Padfoot- *blush* Well…that is true.

Moony- Big head alert! Big head alert!

Padfoot- Shut up Loony! Whoops typo!

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- Anyways ignoring Moony, thank you for being so loyal!

_Question 130 comes from_ **LadyMarauderYoung**

**Heya!**

Padfoot & Nancy- Yo!

Moony & Lizard- *mutter 'So alike!'*

_Hello!_

Moony- Hi!

**I was reading your reply and Sirius said something that made my heart melt!**

**Honey remember her fish is already dead….?**

**I love the Honey bit! It's so cute!**

Moony- Um…thank you?

Padfoot- Well thank you *ego boost by 25%*

**Sure I care about my mums health, Moony, but I care about mine as well. I need food to survive!**

Moony- True…

**I wouldn't mind being Lily though... But I'm just plain Lauren. And Sirius, my last name isn't Evans. It's Young.**

Padfoot- Or is it…? *Twilight zone theme song starts*

Nancy- *looks around creeped out* Where is that music coming from?

_*shrugs*_

Moony- Give it up Padfoot it's obviously not Lily she called you Sirius not "Black".

Padfoot- Or maybe that's what she wants me to think! *theme song continues*

Nancy- Siriusly (Padfoot & Lizard- *in the background* BLACK!) where is that music coming from!

**So, I am Remus, Xhesi is Sirius and Katie is James. Okay, everything is sorted now :) **

Moony- That's great thank you for listening to me. Also could you vote for me?

Padfoot- Hey! Stop manipulating!

Moony- :D

**Xhesi is great, Sirius, don't worry. She'll do you proud! She likes you two. **

Padfoot- She better!

**Have you heard from Regulus lately? **

Padfoot- No not really my brother's a twit!

**If you haven't, I suggest you do. Imagine if you were under lots of pressure to be a Death Eater, because it's expected of you, and you couldn't stand up to your parents...It would be pretty sad. I think it would be a shame if you two fell apart. **

Padfoot- Well yeah but I asked him to come live with me and James but he said no! He chose to stay and I quote "be the son you never were". What a turd.

_Harsh._

**Do you have any siblings Moony?**

Moony- No I don't sadly. I've wanted a little sister though. I think my parents were planning to but since I got bit they didn't want to risk a younger siblings' safety.

_Awww how sad. I would hate to be an only child._

Padfoot- *snorts* I wouldn't.

_*glares*Your opinion…_

_Question 131 comes from_ **CANTLOGIN**

**NO LIZARD please don't change them back! They are much cuter this way!**

_Oops well after we were done I took them to Dumbledore Heh heh sorry!_

**Padfoot, I'm taking you away. My mum's birthday's in a couple days and she always wanted a chihuahua. **

Padfoot- *gulps*

**Moony, now that you're a parrot, you are my pet. **

Moony- Er…

**Nancy, if you're still there, SNAPE HAS A SISTER? **

Nancy- Apparently -_-

**AND HE WAS DEAD. . . AND DUMBLEDORE. . . AND TONKS. . . AND HARRY (but he came back Sirius so your godson is not dead) AND VOLDEMORT. . . AND JAMES. . . AND LILY. . . AND REGULUS. . . wow I'm starting to think that the theme of the HP books is death. **

Moony- Books?

_Uh they wrote biographies about you!_

Moony & Padfoot- Ohhh

_Yeah…*sigh of relief*_

**Also, why do you call Snape Snivellus? Because of his long nose? **

Padfoot- Yup and because of his greasy hair and the fact that he's Slytherin.

Moony- I guess…

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- What's that face supposed to mean?

Padfoot- That I'm a little suspicious of you.

Moony- I do not like Severus if that's what you're thinking!

Padfoot- Don't call him by his name! Ew!

Moony & Lizard- -_-

**Bye!**

**PS my username is livesinlibrary4012 it just won't let me login**

_I should go find you! _

_Question 132 comes from _**itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Yay my question was used**

_Of course it was everything is used even things that aren't questions!_

**Okay I did put ketchup in his shampoo he chased me for like a hour. It was really fun though. I also put in pictures (pictures of orange haired boy with freakles and ketchup on his head fall out)**

Padfoot & Lizard- HAHAHAHAHA!

Moony & Nancy- *suppress laughter*

**Okay I need a good way to annoy my really good friend because she keeps calling me short :( and the facts she alot taller then me doesnt help. I have stolen her keys and ran around which annoyed her which was fun until she hit me with a text book trust me they hurt though Padfoot probably knows from Lily hitting him. I also messed up her hair which she hates but it failed because she has short hair and puts gel in it and I ended up with gel on my hand :(**

Padfoot- Ouch books do hurt that's why I hate them.

Moony- -_- That isn't a very good reason not to study.

Padfoot- Anyways, how short are you like me to Peter short?

Moony- Or me to Peter short?

_Do you ever wear one of those I'm not short I'm funsize shirts?_

Moony- That isn't helping -_-

_Sorry!_

Padfoot- You know what Peter does when we mock him? He bites us the little twat! And trust me that little bugger has a powerful bite!

**Bye**

**RANDOM GLOMP**

*everyone AHH!*

**XXX**

***more random chocolate along with a really cute teddy bear***

**His name is Steve**

*everyone*- Steve?

_Question 133 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**1 second please. -turns and shouts- KALI EFFING YUGAH! WE ARE IMMORTAL! WE HAVE SIRIUS PUPPY POWER!-turns back- OK done.**

*everyone*- O.O

**Now... Lizzie and Moony! SUP!**

_I'm good!_

Moony- Please stop it with the ghetto accents.

_Fine. -_-_

**And Mr. Padfoot... for my padfooties -show the socks she is wearing and squeals- (TOTAL THANK YOU BTW!) I (with some help from the Padffot cheerios. HAHAHA GLEE! I love KLAINE! KLAINEBOWS! Sorry, off topic... anyway) made you this... -unveils massive statue of Padfoot holding his wand in the air and holding Remus in one hand.- Here. You like? I do...**

Padfoot- Wow that's amazing! Yes I like! I love!

Moony- Wow…O.O

_Fangirls are so…loyal!_

Nancy- Daddy can you really carry Remus with one hand?

Padfoot & Moony*at the same time*- Yes! No!

Padfoot- What don't think I can?

Moony- No I _know_ you can't!

Padfoot- *hmphs* Just for that I'm not!

Moony- Good.

**Question time: I need your help. There is this complete BITCH at school called Lauren, and I hate her skanky guts. ME and my BFF Poisen (that's how she spells it) have always hated her because she is a fake whore, and she makes fun of us because we are complete fangirls of HP and Glee (KLAINE). I need a prank that is: a) really REALLY funny b) won't get me into trouble (or any further than a detention) c) And no-one will know I did it. What do you suggest?**

_Chili—_

Moony- No!

_Awww : (_

Moony- No more chili or ketchup or anything like that.

Padfoot- Moony's right.

Moony- I am?

Padfoot- Yeah to prank this girl you should convince everyone that she has crabs or something! Tell them you saws her scratching down there!

Moony- What? No one's going to believe that!

Padfoot- They believed it when Bellatrix got it.

Moony- Padfoot you didn't!

Padfoot- Didn't I? *smirk*

**And Moony, -holds up a tape- I ransacked your house and found it! Fangirls! WE WILL WATCH IT! AND SOON! LIZARD -throws it- HIDE IT!**

_Wait no!_

Moony- *throws himself at her*

_Ahhh! *runs and hides it*_

Moony- I'll get that tape if it's the last thing I'll do!

**Kay thank you! I love you all! (~Especially you Mr. Sexy Awesome Epic Sirius Black. No really I'm serious. Wait I'm not Sirius, you're Sirius! :D) Kay Bye!**

Padfoot- Love you too ;D

_Question 134 comes from_ **SilverPhoenixwithGoldenTears**

**You know that awkward moment when your in public and you kiss your..hem.. partner and some little kids are like "Ewwww"? Moony Padfoot do you ever have that?**

Padfoot- All the time!

Moony- Yeah everyone's gotten used to it though, but sometimes Padfoot wants to do _more _and that's when they freak out.

**Ps: Sirius it's not okay for you to do things with Remus infront of your daughter.**

Padfoot- Well I'd never!

Nancy- -_- But you did those things yesterday!

Padfoot- Shh Nancy!

_Bad dog *whacks his nose*_

Padfoot- *whimpers*

_Question 135 comes from _**T.K. Riddle XD**

**NO! DONT KILL LUCIUS! (sobs)**

Padfoot- We didn't

Nancy- Yes apparently Lucius can't die or the space time continuam.

_Hey! I care a lot about the future!_

Padfoot & Nancy- -_- Whatever!

**Anyway...**

**Hey guys! And girls!**

**Yay i love the Riddler.. Jim Carey is awesome…**

I love Jim Carey! *squeals* I didn't know he was the Riddler?

**Aw im sure Padfoot doesnt smell that bad.. or you wouldnt be with him now would you Moony?**

Moony- That's what you think…

Padfoot- Hey!

**Well it so happens that murdering is beneath me.. so i tied Narcissa up and suspended her from the ceiling.. dont really know what to do with her now.. she's a little annoying actually.. keeps giving me and Lucius dirty looks..**

Padfoot- She'll get over it!

Moony- So she watches you? Ew!

_Yeah that's weird…_

Nancy- O.O

**looked for a wolf but i couldnt find one! you#d think Manchester town centre would have a toy wolf! but maybe i was just looking in the wrong places... i got her a lego hogwarts and a charm bracelet.. she loved it :)**

Moony- Well as long as she'a happy.

Padfoot- That's true… And I want some Legos!

Moony- -_-

**Riddle me this: Draco seems to have an issue with mine and his fathers relationship.. i agree with you Nancy.. he's such a little shit.. what do i do with him? i mean i can think of a few things but since im kinda with his dad that would just be weird.. so.. what do you think?**

Padfoot- Shove him in a weapons room with Nancy heh.

Nancy- Yeah do it!

Moony- O.O

_Or you could shove him in a bedroom with Harry *evil laugh* That'll entertain him!_

Moony- You better not be suggesting…

_Or I'm insisting!_

Moony- What is _wrong_ with you girls!

**Much love**

**The Riddler**

**Xxxx**

_Awww one for each of us!_

*everyone says Awww!*

_Question 135 comes from_** CANTLOGIN**

**kay a couple of things i forgot (because i do that a lot)**

Padfoot- That must suck.

**are you kids or adults? because someone begged you not to grow mustaches and adult-sirius has one. Adult-remus has one a little fuzzy stuff on his chin.**

Moony- We're both 17

_I'm 15_

Nancy- 13

Moony- And we are NOT growning moustaches!

**Second, Lizard, how did you change them back? Because they were still talking after I turned Padfoot into a hihuahua (female) and Moony into a parrot (male).**

_Uh! Next!_

Padfoot- What do you mean next? We haven't answered the question!

_-_- The sooner we stand here the sooner people are going to be asking why a chihuaha and a parrot could speak perfect English._

Moony- Uh yeah let's move on!

**Third, in chapter (episode?) 9, Snuffles didn't understand the "time of month" thing. Shall I explain?**

*everyone but Padfoot*- NO!

**It's a puberty thing. Break into Lizard's house and look up menstrutation on her computer. **

Padfoot- Will do!

**Also, steal some chocolate for march. Wikipedia says March is Lupin's birthday.**

Padfoot- Oh I already stole some!

_What? That was mine!_

Padfoot- Too bad *hands Moony chocolate* Here you go love.

Moony- Awww Pads, you stole this for me?

Padfoot- Who else?

Nancy- Awww how cute!

**Fourth, Lupin, is it ok that I call you that? Because all the books call you lupin, or remus, and lupin sounds the most normal.**

*everyone except Moony*- NO!

Padfoot- You see I hate using formality so I call him Moony, Moon Moons, Moonpie, Loopy, Remus, Rem, Remmie, Remsicle, Romulus's twin.

_Yeah and I hate it when the books would call him that so mentally I changed his name._

Nancy- Yeah his name is Uncle Remus!

Moony- *shrugs* You can call me whatever you like.

Padfoot- Moony no! No Lupin!

**Fifth, *insert preferred name here* you won't get arrested. Sirius might get a little mad, but you can't be arrested for drawing.**

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- Okay then I'll help.

**Sixth, What is the funniest thing peter's done?because we don't hear alot about him.**

Padfoot- The funniest thing Peter has done…Oh once he tripped down the stiars then he stood up only to trip down the other set of stairs!

_Lol you should have taped it!_

Moony- You guys are mean!

Nancy- Next time tape it Daddy!

Moony- -_-

**Seventh, PRONGS! COME HERE! YOU OWE MOONY SOME MONEY!**

Moony- Don't worry I'll get him later he can't come right now because he has Quidditch practice.

_Why isn't Sirius there?_

Padfoot- Meh. Besides wouldn't want to miss this!

**Eighth, and final, PRESENTS! Lupin, some scissors in case you get tied up. Sirius, some diet pills. *whispers to lizard* they're fake, just so he'll feel better. Lizard, some rope, in case they need to be tied up.**

Moony & Padfoot- *gulp*

**Also, Snuffles, I ransacked your house and took all your ducky tape!**

Padfoot- Noooo!

_Question 136 comes from _**DokuJisatsu**

**Hey Moony, Guess what? * Full Moon ***

Moony- GRRRR! *transforming!*

*everyone runs*- AHHHHHH!

AFTER THE FULL MOON

**And Paddyfeet, You should stop being jealous of Moony. : TEAM MOONY FOREVER!**

Moony- Thank you! Oh and I'm sorry I tried to eat you guys.

*everyone except Moony*- That's okay!

Padfoot- And at least I have a statue of me!

Moony- Shut up!  
><strong><br>Can I have a hug? :3? And Moony, your phone number? ;D**

Padfoot- NOO!

Moony- Sorry I don't have a phone. My parents are weird like that.

_Really?_

Moony- Yeah…

*everyone gives you a group hug*

*roars*FEEL THE LOVE!

_Last Question 137 comes from_** PheonixRose92**

**Um, Hi! Wow! I really get 2 talk 2 guys! Yay! Well, I love u both and can't choose between u 2...**

Padfoot- That's okay but if you had to…chose me!

Moony- -_-

**So, i'm Team Wolfstar. **

_Yay me too!_

**Padfoot, a least TRY being a bottom, u might just like it.**

Padfoot- Ehhhhh…

Moony- : ( *pouty face*

Padfoot- Fine**.**

**;) Lizard, u r awesome! **

_THANK YOU! *ego boost by 99%*_

Padfoot- Damn you needed that!

_Shut up!_

**Oh! I need 2 see Pettigrew 4 a moment...**

**Pettigrew, *takes a broom and starts whacking him* U STUPID TRAITOUS RAT! ROT IN HELL! Ok. He can go now. **

Wormtail- *traumatized leaves*

**Sirius, Remus, can I get a subscription 2? Everyone else is getting them. *puppy dog eyes* **

Padfoot- Awww how can I resist *hands you them*

**oh! One more thing, Molyshorts has created Horrcruxes! *gives everyone a hug and kiss* bye!**

*everyone*- O.O?

**Bonus Segment**

**We're doing this thing called Guess This Tune and whoever guesses it right put your house and we will add up the points and see who wins!**

Padfoot- Gryffindor!

_HUFFLEPUFF!_

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- Ignoring them here's the tune

_**It seems today that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV. **__**But where are those good old fashion values...  
>On which we used to rely!<strong>_

Moony- Ok Bye!


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Rant- My brother's birthday is tommorrow "itcarlos" is going to be 14! And I'm still 15 -_-...Anyways for James's birthday we're going to a concert so I thought I better put this up before that because we're planning to have a Death Note marathon on Saturday watch all the episodes and watch the two movies I have of them L: Change the World and Death Note Part 1. Yeah I need to get the second one! But I want to raise money to go to Nebraskon. It's 'cause I joined our school's anime club and we are going to Nebraskon but I need 30 dollars so far I have 12! It's Nov. 5th and I've never been to a anime convention so it'll mean a lot to me! God I wrote a lot...if you read this and know what Death Note is PM me! I love Death Note to death har har :D And I love talking about it like a geek -_-**

**Ok sorry longest Author Note ever...**

* * *

><p><em>Did I say hi the last time…no? Well…HELLLOOOOOOOO! :D <em>

_Welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column!_

_Question 138 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**MOOOONY! WE HAVE THE SAME BIRRRRTHDAYS! :D YAY! (i just NOW realized that...)**

Moony- You're a March baby? High five!

Padfoot-*jealous* I am not jealous! *He lies* I'm not lying!

**ANYWHO... Thank you so much for the Padfooties! :) I love them!**

Padfoot- Hah! Take that! And you're welcome *He replies with smugness* Okay who is this guy? He narrates everything I say! *Sirius demanded his eyes narrowing in suspicion* Stop that! *He cried*...-_-

_Oh that's my smart narrator but he kind of gets annoying…*Lizard walked with clumsy gait like movement and-* -_-There turned him off!_

Moony- Oh but he was way more descriptive than you ever were.

_-_- I find that offensive but painfully true._

**Oh, and GUESS WHAT!**

Padfoot- Chicken butt!

Moony- I highly doubt that -_-

**I got really bored today so I raided my parent liquor cabinet, got drunk, and lit sh*t on fire in my room for three hours. Then I threw water on it and the whole thing, like, EXPLODED and singed my hair.**

*everyone*- O.O

**It was awesome. **

Padfoot- :D That's my Snuffles!

Moony- We didn't establish the nickname!

Padfoot- F*ck the establishment! *smashed random guitar that appeared in his hands* WHOOOO ROCK AND ROLL!

Moony- -_= Thank god Christmas vacations are almost here.

_Hey and so is my birthday!_

Nancy- You're birthday is a national holiday?

_No, just important :D_

Nancy & Padfoot & Moony- -_-

_What? :D_

Nancy & Padfoot & Moony- Nothing!

_-_-…Hmmm *slightly suspicious*_

_Question 139 comes from_ **PheonixRose92**

**Hi again! **

*everyone*- Hi!

**Yay! Thank you! **

Moony- You're welcome! ^_^

**Lizard, I voted on ur poll and voted for Team Padfoot. *sigh* he had almost no votes, so I voted for you Sirius. **

Padfoot- what almost no votes?

_*sigh* It's true._

Padfoot- :(

Moony- There there*pats shoulder*

Padfoot- *glares at Moony*

Moony- :D

**Nancy, what's it like having Sirius as a dad? *from background* -Why don't you ask me? I'm his kid you know!- *turns head* Yes, I could Anne but considering we're in an alternate univirse, i'm comparing notes, ok? Sorry about that. **

Nancy- Well having Sirius as a dad is like having any old dad except he's really young right now so he understands me better. Usually he helps me with my problems and beats up my exs.

Padfoot- You're welcome :D

Moony- -_- Violence isn't always the answer you know.

**I've got you guys some stuff! *hands over a box of Legos, duck tape, Harry Potter and the Philosher's Stone, and chocolate* hide the duck tape. Ruin that book in any way and I make you Siriusly(couldn't help it) regret it!**

Moony- O.O! I would never hurt a book!

Padfoot- I would :D Yay! I got Legos!

Nancy- Duck tape O_o?

_And I got…yum…chocolate_

Moony- Wait I want to trade!

_Nope too late *shoves it in her mouth*_

Moony- :,(

**Hugs and Kisses!**

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 140 comes from_** MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Padfoot... weren't you paying attention to my conversation? Prongs guessed James, and he was right.**

Padfoot- I knew that…wait what were we talking about?

Moony- Idiot *smacks head*

Padfoot- *whimpers*

**And Mrs. Norris isn't alive... she had kittens late in life, (I believe a certain Argus Filch Confunded a poor male cat) died of childbirth, (heh heh heh NOTHING TO DO WITH ME) and the kittens grew up and there are now THREE of them patrolling Hogwarts! And you think you had it bad! (Not that I have anything against cats, I love them, but Mrs. Norris and her kittens are DEVIL SPAWN._**

Padfoot- Wow that does suck…FOR YOU! Hahaha!

_You are soo mean!_

Padfoot- No everyone's just too nice!

Moony- Wait wait did you murder Mrs. Norris?

Padfoot-*le gasps * The horror!

**Fortunately for me, Albus occasionally lends me the Marauder's map... still works, thank you for that. Who came up with the idea, anyway?**

Nancy- That thing is still around?

Moony- Albus…James's other grandson?

Padfoot- How come you're not dating _my_ grandson?

Nancy- Are you implying I get pregnant?

Padfoot- Maybe…

Nancy- -_-

Moony- To be honest Peter came up with the idea…You see back in 4th year Peter got caught sneaking food so then he complained about it and how he wished he had something to tell him when teachers were coming. The James was all like-

Padfoot- We should make a map!

Moony- Yeah and then he did the rest. So it was kind of Peer's idea in a way…

**Lizard, NONONO DON'T TRAP HARRY AND DRACO IN A BEDROOM TOGETHER! They might not come out liking their respective girlfriends, and Scorpius won't exist (which would kinda suck) and ALBUS WON'T FREAKING EXIST!**

_That's true fine I won't…do it longer than a minute…or two or when they had enough : )_

Padfoot- Excited?

_Oh yes very much so. _

Padfoot- 0_o

_:D_

**I dealt with James, though, it was a pretty good idea since he's dead scared of dogs. Don't know why. And... I stole his Invisibility Cloak! Thanks Prongs!**

Prongs* out of nowhere*- You're welcome!

Padfoot- What the hell? Get out of her antler boy!

Prongs- : ( Jerks!

**Moony, what's your Patronus? I don't think it's a werewolf.**

Moony- It's not it's kind of indescribable…I think its cause I'm a werewolf.

Padfoot- Mine's a dog! :D

Moony- -_- We know!

**Padfoot, what's your idea of a weapon? NO SEX TOYS ALLOWED.**

Padfoot- Awww*puts away a knife dildo*

Moony- 0_0!

Padfoot- I guess it'd be a grenade.

**Presents! Moony, a goblet of Wolfsbane Potion- don't put sugar in it, it renders it useless!**

Moony- Okay! ^_^

**Padfoot, a shirt sprayed with Centaur blood- use it wisely and carefully, the blood burns like acid. **

Padfoot- Heh heh Ohhh Bellatrix!

**Nancy, a Support Cedric Diggory/Potter Stinks badge. Draco created it, and he wears it in his fourth year. I put a Protean charm on it, and I believe I altered it to make the message travel through time. ;) **

Nancy- Cool if only Draco hadn't created it -_-

**Lizard, a stress ball with a Cheering Charm on it. **

_Just what I needed *squish squish*Yay!*squish*Yay Yay! *squish squish squish squi-*_

_Awww Moony took it away : (_

Moony- =_= I'm not in the mood to hear that.

**See ya!**

*everyone* - Bye!

_Question 141 comes from_ **T. XD**

**Yeah.. he's right here..**

**Lucius: Yes i am.**

**See..**

**Anyway.. Yeah Jim Carey's the Riddler in Batman Forever.. although i don't really Val Kilmer as Batman.. but he's better than George Clooney anyway.. not better than Christian Bale or Micheal Keaton.. anywayyyyy..**

**You know you love him Moony!**

Moony- -_-

**Lol no she doesn't watch.. she's been tied in the Malfoy Manor dungeon so she gives us dirty looks whenever we come in and contemplate what to do with her.. but its ok.. my sister who's totally in love with her came over and bought her off me in exchange for five packs of mnm's..**

Padfoot- Sooo your sister's a lezzer…?

_*smacks him* _

Padfoot- Ow! What was that _for_?

_Omigod Sirius you don't just ask if their sister's lesbian or not!_

Padfoot- Oops sorry!

**Draco isn't too happy.. so i decided on locking him in his bedroom with Harry.. it sounds like its going good.. all i can really here right now is 'Potter!' and a lot of thumping.. but i installed a camera in there so its all good XD..**

Moony- But Marissa said-

Padfoot- Wooo that's my boy!

Moony- Prongs is not going to be happy about this!

Nancy- -_- He left me for Potter…

_Oh sorry! : (_

Nancy- *shrugs* Its okay as long as they send me one of the tapes!

_O.O!_

**Lucius: I still don't know how i feel about that..**

**Aw, here you go Padfoot.. *hands him lego Remus Lupin* and so you don't feel left out Moony *hands him lego Sirius Black*.. and for you Nancy *lego Draco Malfoy* (to hurt as much as you wish).. and Lizard.. erm *lego Dobby?*..**

*everyone except Lizard*- Thank you!

_Dobby -_-…?_

**Riddle me this: I need to redecorate the Manor.. cus the old style is too Narcissa.. what do you think?..**

_Paint it Hufflepuff! Hufflepuff Pride!_

Padfoot- No -_-

_Yes -_-_

Padfoot- No -_-

Moony- Guys enough! Paint it brown-chocolate!

Nancy- Purple!

Padfoot- That's my girl!

**Much love**

**The Riddler**

**Xxxx**

_Question 142 comes from_** Nancy Black- **_wait what?_

**Family Guy! Gryffindor**

**And my birthday is August 24**

_Nancy you little weasel you can't be doing that!_

Nancy- You never said it was against the rules…

Padfoot-*hugs her* I love you daughter!

Nancy- I love you too Dad!

Moony- -_-?

Padfoot- You too Moony! Group Hug!

*everyone hugs*

_Anyways thanks to Nancy's sneakiness-_

Nancy- ^_^

_-_-…Gryffindor is in the lead…_

Padfoot- YEAHHHH!

_143 comes from_ **Klinera**

**Tune: Family Guy**

_Uhh…we are going to assume that's Hufflepuff!_

Padfoot- What? That's an outrage!

_Oh please you don't even know what an outrage is!_

Padfoot-…Touché….

_Question 144 comes from _**RemmyBlack**

**G'DAY MATES! *smiles widely before falling over laughing* hahahahahahah omg, omg, omfg...that sounded retarded :3 This is what I get for making fun of people stereotyping me :3**

*everyone*- O.O?

**Anywho, *tackle hugs all of you* YEAH! CAN I HAVE A PADFOOT AND MOONY SUBSCRIPTION! OR THERE SHOULD TOTALLY BE A WOLFSTAR (I FORGET WHO CAME UP WITH THE NAME, BUT WHOEVER YOU ARE, I GIVE YOU COOKEEZ!) ANYWAY THERE SHOULD TOTALLY BE A WOLFSTAR SUBSCRIPTION!**

_There should! Let's make one!_

1 HOUR LATER

Moony- Finally! Okay give it to them!

Padfoot- *proudly hands over a Wolfstar Subscription* Yay the first one!

**YES, I'M YELLING AND NO I WON'T STOP.**

Padfoot- Lol :D  
><strong><br>ANYWAY, PERSONALLY I AM BOTH..BUT IF SetoXSara LETS ME BE ON THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD, I *MIGHT* BE A PADFOOTIE! :3..THAT AND I LIKE THE LOOKS OF THOSE SOCKS, CAN I HAVE SOME SIRIUS? PWEASE?**

Padfoot- SetoXSara let REMMYBLACK (GREAT NOW I'M YELLING) LET HIM BE ON THE SQUAD!

YES YOU CAN HAVE SOME *HANDS THE PADFOOTIES OVER*

_Damn even the description is yelling O.O_

**Also, Lizard, you a freakin awesome! So...do you read hardcore yaoi or fluffy yaoi or both? :3**

_Er…more of the *coughs embarrassed* hardcore yaoi…?_

Moony- I knew it! Women are all the same! You're beasts! _Beasts!_

**Also, Sirius, did you know that there was a poll of who the people's favourite wizard/witch were and that Severus Snap was number uno? And you were fourth? How do you feel? Sympathy hug?**

Padfoot- That's it I can't live in a world where Snape is better than me! *stands on his chair and ties a rope magically to the ceiling*

Moony- Stop acting like a drama queen! -_-

_Uh shouldn't you get him down?_

Moony- He's not really going to do it. This isn't the first time he's attempted this -_-

Padfoot- I'm really going to do it!

Moony- -_- Whatever!

Padfoot- I'm serious!

Moony- Yeah yeah you're Sirius har har!

Padfoot- *actually does it*

Nancy- Daddy?

Moony- Hmm…I guess he did have it in him…*runs to free him*

Padfoot-*coughs* Moony the world is flashing before my eyes!

Moony-*rolls his eyes* Really?

Padfoot- No! :D Haha! Fooled you!(Moony- -_-)

**BYEBYE DON'T LET THE ALIENS BUG BITES!**

_The what?_

Moony- There are no such things!

Padfoot- You sure?

Moony- -_-...I hate that I love you Padfoot...

**...Or the fleas *cough*Sirius*cough* :3**

Padfoot- What?*embarrassed*

Nancy & Lizard & Moony- Lol!

_Question 145 comes from_ **itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Hi guys sorry if my question was wierd my friends though it was funny to get my not sure how short i am probably moony to Peter do I have to be shorter then everyone.**

Moony- Blame your parents…

_Yeah unless they're both tall! Oh the irony!_

**Also you never told me how to get back at my friend and Padfoot I agree with books hurt..why do people insist we go near them? What is your record for how many times you've been hit with a book in a day. Mines 15.**

Padfoot- 35…I picked on the Ravenclaws.

Moony- Idiot ^_^

**Nancy- What how should she get back at her friend?**

_You should call her a giraffe like be walking far from her and call her out "Hey giraffe! GIRAFEEEE!" That'd be pretty funny._

Padfoot- That would be funny…or you could one day have a bunch of books and throw them on her and yell REVENGE IS A BITCH GIRAFFE!

Moony- That's a little…

**Bye**

**XXX**

***apology cookie*cause cookies are better than cake**

_True…_

_Question146 comes from _**CANTLOGIN**

**you said you would go find me. . . sounds suspishyus, good thing i don't use my real name! how do you get all that stuff on your profile?**

_Ohhhh to late found you! ^_^ Don't worry I'm not pedobear or anything…or am I…:D __And how did I get that stuff on my profile I just looked through other people's profiles and copied and pasted. SO sorry if I stole anything but it clearly said copy and paste if yada yada. _

Padfoot- You talked a lot O.O

_Yeah well the question was directed at me!_

Padfoot- Still…

_Shut up -_-_

**lizard, i've been looking through your favourite stories and the funniest one so far is ch 55 of CrazyMarshMELLO's The Little Things! ahh, sooo funny!**

_Now who's suspicious -_-*clearly suspicious*But yah that story is funny!_

Padfoot- Yeah just leave us out -_-

_Sorry…_

**LUPIN (with what i swear is deliberate provocation) CrazyMarshMELLO says you like To Kill a Mockingbird. that is ms pearcey's favourite book! and ms pearcey is my teacher. What is TKAM about?**

Moony- I don't care what you call me as long as you don't call me Snuggles or Muffin Top I'm fine with it.

_Why can't we-_

Padfoot- No don't! It's something we'd all rather forget!

Moony- Exactly. Anyways to Kill a Mockingbird is about-

_Oh! I read that book like in 8__th__ grade!_

Moony- -_- Good for you…anyways, It focuses on six-year-old Scout Finch, who lives with her older brother Jem and their widowed father Atticus, a middle-aged lawyer. Jem and Scout befriend a boy named Dill who visits Maycomb to stay with his aunt each summer. The three children are terrified of, and fascinated by, their neighbor, the reclusive "Boo" Radley. The adults of Maycomb are hesitant to talk about Boo and, for many years, few have seen him. The children feed each other's imagination with rumors about his appearance and reasons for remaining hidden, and they fantasize about how to get him out of his house. Following two summers of friendship with Dill, Scout and Jem find that someone is leaving them small gifts in a tree outside the Radley place. Several times, the mysterious Boo makes gestures of affection to the children, but, to their disappointment, never appears in person.

_You toatlly just ripped that off of Wikipedia!_

Moony- Maybe I did *shrugs*

_-_- Lazy!_

Moony- :D

Padfoot- Awww Moony you're so cute when you smile! And…_smexy_!

Nancy- Dad I can hear you breathing from here… -_- Are you in heat again?

Padfoot- Maybe…

_O.O!_

**solutions about remembering my passwords? *not writing them down btw***

Padfoot- Make a song about them! *sings* Password for Yahoo something something something Password for FanFiction something something Capital GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!(Moony- O.O Damn he can hold a note!)

Moony- Use acronyms.

_Use the same password for everything. For Yahoo they also give you hints mine is what is my favorite song._

_Question 147 comes from _**DokuJisatsu**

**Awwwah. Moony go get a phone. D: **

Moony- I was actually going to go get one this weekend with Nancy.

Padfoot- And me right?

Nancy- Fine Dad you can come just please don't pee in the bushes at the mall again!

Padfoot- But I had too! That dog thought he was boss!

Nancy & Moony- -_-

**And Padfoot, you're sexy, but... -Tears statue down and replaces it of one with Moony and Padfoot.- SHARE THE LOVE -Acts innocent.- Teehee.**

Padfoot- My statue! WAH!

_You heard her! SHARE THE LOVE!_

Padfoot-*still depressed*

Moony- He'll get over it.

_Question 148 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Yo sup so last paper is the next day and I will be free like a warbler.**

**Wes: Klaine Lover I still scared. So the warblers decided to make a quiz and see which houses will we be in hogwarts. We said that you blood is like gryffind-**

*everyone*- O.O!

Padfoot- Oh no we pushed her too hard and now she's dead! WAHHHHH!*sobs*

Moony- -_- Get over yourself Padfoot**.**

**Sorry typo again**

**Wes: So you blood have Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Ravenclaw. So we dicussed that you will be in Gryffindor well cause you almost beat the crap out of your bullies.**

**Me: Wes shut up and confess your feeling already. What Kurt Blaine David and yours?**

**Wes: Blaine is in Hufflepuff, Kurt is in Slytherin, David in Gryffindor and I'm in Ravenclaw.**

**Me: I told my friend this let the gentleman confess but you're the gentleman except when you hit people with the gavel I say go for it confess your feelings.**

**Wes: Thanks Klaine Lover I say that advice was good. Do you know that Klaine is getting on it?**

**Me: Yes I know Blaine hasn't stop talking about it. *shudder not thinking about people sex life thinking about getting o it* *dies then come back to life* well anybody have a live potion or something? Give it to Wes( Gavel Obess Warbler) HOLD IT if Kurt is in Slytherin how does Blaine and Kurt relationship carry out?**

**Wes: At first people protest after Blaine saying a very touching thing everybodies heart melt and let them carry their relationship as a sign of house unity but the different houses just fight a lot.**

**Me: *nods head in agreement* well here *hands over paper with different saying of 'I love you'***

**Wes: *blush***

**Me: What are you waitin' for go if not it's too late or some other girl will take him away! Or sing a song!**

**Wes: Thanks Klaine Lover :)**

**Me: :) sorry question. Who is be top Kurt or Blaine? I will tell the answer after I get my reply. *smirks evilly like a Slytherin* that's my trademark smirk it scares the shit out of people and make that piss in their pants.**

Padfoot- Quick! Answer everyone!

Moony- Blaine

Nancy- Blaine

_Kurt_

Padfoot- Blaine. Good so we all agree that—wait _what?_

_I think he has it in him._

Padfoot- -_-…

_What? -_-?_

Padfoot- …Nothing…

**Wes: You know I'm still here right that was scary. The room tempature dropped by 10 degree celcius.**

**Me: Oh really? *sadist smile***

**谢谢thanks for listening to me. ^_^ my cute smile.**

**XXXX**

Padfoot- Wow everyone sure loves to kiss me!

Moony- Well that's because you keep hogging them all!

_Stop being a Pumba!_

Moony- A what?

_Uh it's this thing me and my family call hoggers…I started it a while ago. Pumba= Lion King Warthog= worse than a hog= a person who hogs._

Padfoot- And they say I'm weird…

_Shut up Padfeet!_

Padfoot- Shut up _Salamander!_

_Oh its on!_

Moony- *ignoring the wrestling in the background* Nancy will you please read the results?

Nancy- Gryiffndor- 1 Hufflepuff- 1 Ravenclaw- 0 Slytherin- 0

Moony- Okay so here *still fighting* **STOP ITTTTT!***Moony Rage activated*

Padfoot & Lizard- *run back to their seats*

Moony- Here's the second tune:

_**Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain"  
>I Can't hear you "<strong>_**AYE**_** AYE CAPTAIN"  
>Ohh...<br>Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?  
><strong>_

Moony- Bye ^_^

* * *

><p><strong>How you like? :D<strong>


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: It's getting cold up in this place! I wish I was somewhere warm!...Hawaii*sighs*...**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column.<em>

_Question 149 comes from_ **MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Albus: SPONGEBOB THEME! BOOYAH, POINT TO GRYFFINDOR!**

**Me: Albus... calm down... we don't get actual points, and this does not contribute to winning the House Cup!**

**Albus: Well this is still awesome! It's Teddy's dad and dad's godfather!**

**Me: -_- You just had to tell them, didn't you...**

**Albus: ... Was I not supposed to?**

**Me: This is in the PAST. Don't tell them what they're about to do!**

**Albus: I'd better not tell James about this then...**

**Me: Definitely , how did the shirt prank go, Padfoot? Anyway, Albus got you**

**guys gifts!**

Padfoot- Uh not well…Bellatrix heard me coming from behind… :(

Moony- Basically he failed.

Padfoot- Yup…

**Albus: Yeah! *hands over a slip of paper to Padfoot* That's the spell for haywire computers Marisa invented. And... *hands over picture of his dad and mom to Prongs* This is what dad looks like now! And that's mom. And... *gives Moony the recipe for Wolfsbane Potion* It's really complicated, so the only people who could pull if off were Rose and Scorpius, and they're the potions geniuses, but if you get Lily to make it you'll have it FOREVER. And... *gives Lizard a pad with a button on it* Press this button to get the stress ball back!**

Padfoot- good God he's old!

_Stress ball!_

Padfoot- No! *snatches it*

_*pushes button*_

Moony-*sighs*

Padfoot- Damn she's old too!

Moony- So this will help my _werewolfism_…LILY! *runs off*

**Me: We got Nancy something from both of us... it's a cell phone, and it looks normal, but... well, try it out for yourself. *hands over a cool-looking cell phone***

Nancy- Cool!*starts texting*LOL! Yeah I know right!

Padfoot- O.O?

Lily- Leave me alone Remus! I was in class!

Moony- Fine! But after you have to make this!

Lily- Yeah whatever! *leaves*

Moony- *sighs* I can't believe I have to wait a whole class for this.

**Albus: Question!**

**Me: How do you get rid of annoying little sisters? I don't have any, but Lily is in fourth year and is starting to gossip like Rita Skeeter.**

Padfoot- Who named their child after that red haired banshee?

Moony- If Prongs heard you now…

Padfoot- What's he gonna do?

Moony- I don't know I'm not sticking around to find out!

Padfoot- Mean!

Nancy- *still texting*

Padfoot- That phone is going to give you arthritis!

Nancy- No it's not!

Padfoot- Yeah it is!

Nancy- No it's not!

Padfoot- Young lady don't you defy me!

Nancy- *sticks out tongue*

Padfoot- *eye twitch*

Moony- Uhh...Well you could tell Lily she's acting like It hopefully she'll stop because she'll realise she's acting like Rita Skeeter and that girl is the devil's minion!

Padfoot- yeah she writes this school paper called _Hot Hogwarts Press_ and it's just FULL of crap! Like last issue they caught pictures of me and Remus snogging in the corner!

Moony- And they said that I had AIDS!

Padfoot- I'm a kill her!

**Albus: I'll be back! Can I tell dad?**

**Me: Um... sure. But tell him that they're fine, and happy, and normal, so he doesn't come on- imagine how awkward it would be if he was on here...**

**Albus: Er…yeah, scratch that thought…**

**Both: See ya!**

*everyone* Bye!

_Question 150 comes from_**RemmyBlack**

**SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! (and a SHE..just saying)**

Padfoot- One point for Gryffindor!

_You don't know that!_

Padfoot- Shut up!

**Moony, trust me, there is such things as alien bugs (damn things are hard to kill)..Normally I don't hurt animals but it was either me or the alien bug...IT WAS GOING TO EAT ME! I have already been eaten 10 times! Not fun, especially since some of them stink worst then skunks..not fun.**

Moony- o_O!

**YAY! PADFOOTIES! AND WOOHOO! I GOT THE FIRST EVER WOLFSTAR SUBSCRIPTION! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *quickly puts it in a safe container and hides it in a safe place where only I know of)**

Padfoot- Yeah take care of that I made it with my own flesh and blood!

Nancy- He means me I helped him.

Padfoot- Exactly!

**Yes, I know I didn't put my house but I will soon *evil laughter***

Moony- Slytherin!

Padfoot- Moony that's stereotypical just because she gave an evil laugh!

Moony- Alright…sorry!

**There is this good yaoi that's a threesome between Siri, Loopy and some other dude I can't remember but it is very hoot :3**

_I think I've read it is in called Menage a Trois or something close to that?_

Padfoot- Ew! You guys are perverted!

Moony- Yeah!

Padfoot- As if I'd ever share Moony!

Moony- Yeah!

**questions, questions...*glomps Sirius* glomping helps me thing :3 oooh, have you guys ever had lime cake? it is incredibly yummy *gives you each a piece of lime cake* *rebuilds Sirius stature* I don't like sharing the love...now, excuse me, I want to see the Wolfstar subscription *flies away to my secret hiding place***

Padfoot- Yay my statute is back!

Moony- -_-

_Question 151 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**First- Lizard! Those chocolates were 4 every1! *hits Lizard over the head with a rolled up newspaper* Bad author! Bad author! **

_Ow! _

Padfoot- Haha!

**And don't ever refuse to give a chocolate addict chocolate! *shudders* -in the background- Well, that's what u get 4 not sharing!**

Moony- Yeah you should know better

**Don't remind me! *mutters* crazy-arse half-werewolf... I HEARD THAT!,! Excuse me a moment *flees* *1 hour later* ok, Anne is distracted. Thank god 4 Harry... Anyway, have u read it? Harry Potter & Philospher's Stone? **

Moony- I've read it….that's some messed up stuff right there!

Padfoot- Yeah I heard about it when I was spooning with that gay kid.

Moony- You mean me?

Padfoot- Yeah you *winks*

**Let me know! I want it back! **

Moony- Okay here take it! This book is filled with horrible events! *throws*

**Ooooo! Can I have a Wolfstar subscription? Please! **

Padfoot- Here!*hands her one* The very second one!

**Present time! *hands Moony a large bag of chocolate, lizard a new stress ball, Nancy a locket, and Padfoot, cookies* love ya! Hugs and kisses all around! SIRIUS STOP HOGGING 'EM! *hits Padfoot over the head with the newspaper* BAD DOG!**

Padfoot- Okay! Okay Stop hitting me!

Moony- Don't stop!

Padfoot- Moony!

_Question 152 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

**To answer my questions I say both are top. I mean I read Klaine smut so I know my answer.**

Padfoot- Kaline smut?

Moony- Great you got them too!

_Gotta love fangirls :D  
><em>**  
>Wes: Klaine Lover I confessed he rejected me cause he have a girlfriend. *sniff* *starts crying loudly*<strong>

**Me: OMG my ears. Wait Wes you're in Ravenclaw cause you're Asian right?**

**Wes: Yeah...**

**Me: I goin' kill you I'm asian too alright. Wait what David rejected you well he is an idiot now. BLAINE KURT!**

***Blaine and Kurt enter***

**Blaine and Kurt: What? *look like they have sex***

**Me: Wait you guys have sex?**

**Klaine: Yeah. /**

**Me: *blush* Wes here got rejected by David now he is crying in my room. *takes out stuffed dog and pass it to Wes* Wanna sing about it after I get back my laptop.**

**Klaine and Wes: Sure. Hey I heard you End Of Year exams ended.**

**Me: now that you said it WOO HOO *singing voice* Oh Yeah.**

**favour: Help David get to his senses at warblers practice they are eye-fucking each other worse then Klaine.**

**Question: Why do you think Blaine or Kurt are top? My reason is cause they are soo cute I say that Blaine allowed Kurt to be top an Kurt allowed Blaine to be top.**

Moony- Maybe they like sharing instead of one being victimized as the top!

Padfoot- What are you trying to say!

**Azimio: Oh more fags.**

**Me: WHAT THE FUCK! What are you doing here?**

**Azmio: Well I'm here to kill the homo here.**

**Me: *Slytherin glare* Who do you think you are just wanting to bully those who are homosexual has anyone thought you that bullying is soo uncool.**

**Wes: No one I mean no one bully Klaine! *takes out gavel***

**Me: *takes out katana***

**Wes and me: DIE FATASS MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**Azimio: *dies***

**Me: *Slytherin smirks* just wait and see what will happen to the homophobic out there.**

**Wes: *shudder* thanks for the stuffed dog.**

**Me: *takes out DS and play nintendogs* whatever**

**Wes: We'll sing something about David rejecting me.**

**Me: good**

**Klaine: Wait what David rejected you what in the world is wrong with that idiot.**

***somewhere at Lima bean***

**David: ahh choo I knew that rejecting Wes was a bad idea now that I hurt his feelings how am I going to face him.**

**Me:**

**谢谢****I knew that you guys will listen to me.**

**XXXX aims at everyone**

**Klaine and Wes: *blush* thanks Klaine Lover.**

**Me: *hugs Wes and whisper* good luck Wes.**

_Question 153 comes from_**elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot:HOT DAMN.I have two sexy pics of two hot damn.**

Moony- *blush*

Padfoot- Yeah but we are!

**Now all that's left to make my day is if anyone will smack sasuke uchia from naruto 4 me.^_^.Oh and padfoot how does it feel to be a star?**

Padfoot- How does it feel you say well…

Moony- *rolls eyes*

Padfoot- It feels AWESOME! Everyone loves me!

_-_- ego maniac…_

Padfoot- Don't be jealous!

**Bye,Love u Remus**

Moony-*blush*

Padfoot- *growl*

_Question 154 comes from_ **xLizziexLupinx**

**To Padfoot and Moony, I would like to say that I love you both equally and that I would like to be in both of your teams because you are both awesomely amazing :) You are both my favourite Marauders (Sorry James and Peter)**

Okay I'll stop with my rambling.

Love you both :) 3

Moony & Padfoot- Awww thank you!

_Question 155 comes_ _from _**itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Hi again  
><strong>

Padfoot- HI!

Moony- Hello!

**Guess what I did as revenge?**

_*gasps* Chili?_

Padfoot- No! -_-

_:(_

**I full on acted like a child all day around was so embarassed :D she hit me upside the head though :( it was still worth I beet my record of how many times i've been hit with a book in a 's now 31 cause I said something dirty and she sat there hitting me with it.**

Padfoot- I'm still in the lead though!

Moony- That's not something to be proud of!

Padfoot- Yeah yeah

Moony- -_-

**Also I want to know what you call Lucius malfoy **

Padfoot- Lucious mouthful!

Moony- Ugh! That sounds very wrong!

Nancy- Yeah Dad don't call him that!

I call my fish that I go "Lucius my DARLING!" everytime I see him. He's so preety :D

Padfoot- Er…okayyyy…

**I call him Lucy Mouthful :) and my friends and i became animangas we are registered a tiny little black nickname has now gone from shortie to furball**

Bye

***Pictures of adorable little black puppy fall out***

Padfoot- *squeals* Cute! Furball!

PS to annoy snape transfigure him into a puppy and offer him to our potions professor as a lab rat

Padfoot- Good idea!

Moony- Uh oh…**  
><strong>

**PPS im in your charms class yay I will say hi next time I see u and I will try to get lily to go out with James**

Padfoot- Good luck! That banshee's so stubborn!

Moony- Padfoot! Don't calm Lily a banshee!

Padfoot- Whateves!

Moony- *disapproving glare*

_Question 156 comes from_**SetoXSara**

**Spongebob! :D **

_That counts as Hufflepuff!_

Padfoot- Damn you beat me to it!

_:D_

REMMYBLACK! You are on the squad! SiriuslyLupin, I´m not mad anymore. This is short cos I´m using an internet cafe in Spain so...

Padfoot- You're in SPAIN? Take me with you!

_Hey me too!_

Nancy- Me too!

Moony- -_- We could just Apparate…

**I need another prank cos that one won´t work. NO CHILI OR STUFF LIKE THAT! It´ll be at school. **

_Well you could spread an AIDS rumor…'course that would be terrible…_

Padfoot- That's why we recommend it!

Moony- You could also write a note aksing her out and put this boy's name so she thinks the kid likes her

_Or ketchup!_

Moony & Padfoot- -_-

**FANGIRL MEETING AT THE POTTER HOUSEHOLD! WE ARE WATCHING "THE TAPE"! HOPE THATS OK POTTER! DRARRY FTW!V**

_Woooo! I'm there!_

Moony & Padfoot- O.O!

Nancy- Ew! I don't want to see Dad and Uncle Remus go at it!

_Question 157 comes from_ **Ecclestein**

**Halloween is nigh.  
><strong>

_My favorite holiday!_

Padfoot- Really mine is *sighs* Valentine's Day…

Moony-*blushes* Yeah because you get laid!

Padfoot- Exactly!

Moony- Mine is my birthday extra chocolate!

Nancy- Mine too…except for the chocolate part.

**What are your costumes?**

_I don't know I was thinking maybe I'm a bit old to be dressing=g up…_

Padfoot- I'm going to be a vampire! Moony you be the werewolf!

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- Okay okay be a mummy!

Moony- Fine.

Padfoot- Nancy you're the witch!

Nancy- Why? That's stereotypical women being witches!

Padfoot- Well you can't be a wizard xan you?

Nancy- Hmph!...I guess not…

_I was a teenage werewolf last year had the mask and everything even some red skinny jeans, an I Love Werewolves T-shirt oh and the claws *sighs* I love Halloween…_

**Oh, and I'm carving pumpkins of you two, along with the 10th and llth doctors.**

It's gonna be sweet like butterbeer.

Padfoot- what a yummy analogy…great now me thirsty…

Moony- Have to agree with Pads there.

_Question 158 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**YEEES! ROCK'N'ROLL MUTHAFUCKAS! :D  
><strong>

**Everyone- O.O?  
><strong>

**Padfoot,, what's your favorite muggle rock band? And what's Remus'? I want to KNOW!**

Padfoot- The Ramones, The Beatles, Alice Cooper, The Darkness etc.

Remus- I don't like the Ramones…

Padfoot- What? How could you!

Moony-*shrugs*

Padfoot- Hmph!

Moony- I like the same except for the Ramones :P

Padfoot- -_-

_Question 159 comes from_ **Viper's little Devil**

**Spongebob Squarepants Gryffindor.**

Padfoot- YEAHHH!

_Oh come on!_

Padfoot- Haha!

Um... I have a problem. I'm starting to like a certain black hair guy who keeps bugging me, but I don''t know how to tell him.

Padfoot- Oh my God its James!

Nancy- No!

Padfoot- Oh my God its' me!

Moony- -_-…The best thing you can do is ask him out flat out. Don't tell you're friends to tell him!

_Yeah I hate that!_

_Question 160 comes from_**DokuJisatsu**

**o w o I heard Padfoot had flees. Might I mention shaving his hair off?**

Padfoot- No you may not mention!

Moony- :D I don't know…I'm kind of starting to like that idea…

Padfoot- Moony no! I beg of you!

Moony- fine but you owe me!

_Whoa does he owe you sex?_

Moony- -_-…

…_?_

Moony- I'm not answering that!

_That's a yes!_

Moony- -_-

_Question 161 comes from_ **Riddler**

**Spongebob Squarepants!**

**Hufflepuff!**

Padfoot- -_-!

_:D Ahhahaha! *triumphant laugh!*_  
><strong><br>Anyway.. hello again..**

Can i have a Wolfstar subscription? Pweaseeee?

Padfoot- Of course!*hands you one*

Moony- thank you for subscribing!  
><strong><br>Lol Padfoot.. i guess.. sort of.. hmm.. never thought about that.. **

Padfoot- Really?

Here you go Nancy *hands over tape*.. its really good.. i'd give a 9/10..

Nancy- Heh heh…oohhh Malfoyyy…

_O.O!  
><em>  
><strong>Well i didnt really know which lego character you would have liked.. <strong>

_That's true….I'm okay with Dobby!_

I painted it red and gold.. for Manchester United.. oh and for Gryffindor of course.. the Malfoy's are bitching about it but Harry likes it.. he said 'hi' by the way..

Padfoot- Hi godson!

Moony- Hi kid that I taught the Patronus charm to!

'_Sup_

Nancy- Hi Harry!  
><strong><br>Oh and wikipedia lies.. they do meet Boo Radley in the end of To Kill A Mockingbird.. i read it in year 10 (Hogwarts fourth year).. and Scout meets him at the end of the book and you never mentioned anything about Tom Robinson who is supposed to be the Mockingbird as well as Boo Radley…**

_I read it a long time ago! I don't remember!_

Moony- Wiki failed me… : (

Padfoot-*pats his back*

**Riddle me this: How do i get Harry and Draco to become uninterested in each other.. cos Harry needs to marry Ginny so that they can have Albus as Marisa-who-cant-remember-her-pasword said.. so yeah.. how do i do that?..**

Padfoot- You wanna deny their lurve!

Moony- Yeah we can't help with that…

_Why not?_

Moony- Because if their gay then their gay!

Padfoot- Can't deny it!

_Just keep them away from each other lock harry in a closet with ginny for a couple of hours or days…Albus should pop out…_

Nancy- Yeah but don't forget to feed them!

_Yeah or you'll have a problem…_

**Xxxx  
><strong>

*everyone*- Thank you!

Nancy- Dad you share!

Padfoot- Never!

**?Riddler?**

_Yay we are done!*sighs and stretches* Nice work team Wolfstar!_

Padfoot- You're welcome as always.

Moony- Big Head!

Padfoot-*sticks tongue out at him*

Moony- -_-

_Bye guys!_

Nancy- Bye! Come on Dad Uncle, let's go prank Filch!

Padfoot- Way ahead of you Nancy!

Moony-*sighs*

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry I can't really edit this right now I'm late for school but if you all should know I'm uploading this on my birthday! Yes I am 16! Hoo-rah **

**Alright alright settle down people I'm blushing! :D Thank you to all who keep reviewing this made my birthday!**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column<em>

_Question 162 comes from_** CAN'TLOGIN**

**DAILYRANDOMNESS P.S. typin on Amazon Kindle and buttons don`t totally work all that well**

**Are you guys locked in lizards room stocked with quackquack tape and rolled up newspapers or you in a room she rented out or something¿**

_Actually we're in the Room of Requirement I can't rent a room : ( NO money_

**what is an epiphany¿**

Moony- It's when you have a sudden realization of something

Padfoot- Well duh!

Moony- =_=_  
><em>**  
>can any of you sing or rap reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllllly fast? <strong>

Moony- What…?

Padfoot- Yes!-

Moony- Oh God please stop!

**how about billy joel we didnt start the fire speedX2? X3¿**

Moony- No! No! Please!

Padfoot-*hmphs* Moony you're no fun!  
><strong><br>How did you come up with all the nicknames¿**

Padfoot- What nicknames? These?

Moony- They're our animal forms.

**um. . . padfoot. . . how did you attempt to get the shirt on Bellatrix? wouldn't she. . .erm. . .NEVERMIND!**

Padfoot- Well I came up behind her and tried to choke her and—wait what are you trying to say?  
><strong><br>His name i Harry. . . Not Elfendork. . .mind if i name my kid that¿**

Padfoot- But I was gonna mname my kid that!

Nancy- Thank God you didn't!

Padfoot- Hey it's a nice name!

Nancy- Yeah if you were an elf! Get it? Get it?

Padfoot & Lizard- -_-

Padfoot- I see you inherited your Uncle Remus's humor.

Moony- -_-

**Technically Alice Cooper is Betty Cooper`s mom. I never knew she could sing!**

Padfoot-*gasp* Alice Cooper is NOT a man!

Moony- Er actually it's a band…

Padfoot-*mutters to self* How dare she!

Moony- Alright there Padfoot?

Padfoot-*grumbling to self*

**Whats a good childish prank for my brother that wont get me in trouble but he`ll still know its from me¿**

_Chili-_

Moony & Padfoot & Nancy- NOOO!

…_my bad O_o..._

Padfoot- Once James got some Oreos from Remus so me and Moony here got some took off the frostinf white stuff and put some toothpaste.

Moony- James's face was funny when he bit it.

Padfoot- Yeah remember when we did that with the Twinkie?

Moony- :D

**My patronus is a giraffe. When I turn into an animal i am a panda. Nicknames¿**

Padfoot- Longneck and Racconeyes

Moony- Those are horrible nicknames

Padfoot- As if you could do better!

Moony- I know I can't do any worse.

Padfoot- -_-

_How 'bout Lengthy and Bambooface?_

Moony & Padfoot & Nancy- -_-

Hey at least I'm trying!

Nancy- Necky and Pan Pan!

Moony- Stretch and Oreo

Padfoot- Patchneck and Patcheye?

Prongs- How about LAME!

Padfoot- James what the hell?

Prongs- Scared you?

Padfoot- Yeah you queef face!

Prongs & Moony & Nancy & Lizard- WHAT?

Padfoot- *shrugs*I don't know I got it from some Hufflepuff 3rd year.

Moony- Don't use words you don't know!

Padfoot- But it sounded funny!

_Well bless your innocent heart you don't know anything about it!_

Padfoot- What do you mean?

Prongs- Yeah he's not _that _innocent!

Padfoot-*smirks*

**in piano man by billy joel it says «makin love to his tonic and gin.» what does it mean¿ and state it so i can explain getly to my six year old cousin**

Padfoot- He means they were FU*****!

Moony- What part of gently did you not understand?

Padfoot- Okay *whispers* fu*****…

Moony- -_-

Prongs- Just say it's what two people do when they're older like his parents and love each other. Preferably when they're married.

Moony- Wow James who knew you knew so much about sex.

Padfoot- He knows about but he doesn't know how to do it!

Prongs- I know how to do it better than you! You're terrible that's why Moony comes running to me!

Padfoot- As if! Tell him Moons!

Moony- Shut up…both of you -_-

**lastly. . .**

***STEALS cute puppy pictures* can i have these to put on my wall? thanks!**

Padfoot- Wait we never said you could—

**ADIOS AMIGOS**

Moony- *sighs*

That means goodbye in spa—

Moony- I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!

_O_O *whispers to the others* What's up his butt?_

Prongs- Apparently he wants it to be Sirius!

Moony- -_-…I hate you guys sometimes…

_Question 163 comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**I don't mean to be rude... BUT WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY WOLFSTAR SUBSCRIPTION ? ! *fumes* Look at my USERNAME! ! ! ! IT PRACTICALLY SCREAMS 'WOLFSTAAAAR!' *grrrrr* I swear to Rowling... if I don't get my subscription by the next update, I will BITE someone... and it WONT be Padfoot because he's probably into that sort of thing... -.-**

Padfoot- How did you know?

Moony- Sirius hand it over I don't want to be bit for the life of me!

Prongs- Why afraid you'll turn into a girl once a month?

Moony- -_- No Prongs I'm not.

Padfoot- Here you go *hands her one* Please don't hurt me take the Lizard she created this!

_Hey!_

Prongs- Are all your fangirls this crazy?

Padfoot- -_-? Jamie why are you still here?

Prongs- because Peter keeps leaving me and I'm boreddddddd

Moony- James let go of that d!

Prongs- *sighs* FFFFFiinnneee

**Anyway, / like AC/DC... and Areosmith... and all 70's/80's rock...**

Padfoot- Me too! Well all the 70's type of rock.  
><strong><br>Anyway... I'm thinking about being a Marauder for halloween... Which one shall I be?**

Padfoot- Me think of the chicks you'll attract! Or men…

Moony- Don't be Padfoot!

Prongs- Yeah that Big Head is already going as himself.

Padfoot- I can't help if I'm so good that I don't need a mask.

Moony & Prongs- -_-

Nancy- Dad…

Prongs- you should be me! Just wear glasses and mess up your hair or buy some crazy wig!

Padfoot- Don't forget to smile like a doofus and become obsessed with a redhead!

Yeah and be mean to Snape : (

Prongs- Ew don't tell me you like Snape! No one likes Snape!

Padfoot- That's what I said!

_-_- I believe in Snames…_

Prongs & Padfoot- WHAT!

Prongs- UGH *gags* AS IF AS EVER!

_:D_

_Question 164 comes from _**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Albus: Uh... what the heck is this "Tape"?**

**Me: You don't want to know. All I know is, you're still here, space-time continuum has not been messed up, and I don't really care anymore.**

**Albus: Oh.**

**Me: Nancy, it appears that you haven't discovered the full extents of the cell phone's power... press the side button right there... and WATCH THE MAGIC! xD**

Nancy- Really? *pushes button*

Padfoot- ARF! ARF!

Moony- GRRR

Prongs- Bowow

Roof! Roof!

Nancy- Wait if it turned everyone inot puppies then shouldn't I turn in—Woof! Woof!

Moony- Woof! Woof! Rrrr = Push the button!

Nancy- *whimpers*= I can't no opposable thumbs!

Padfoot- Roof! Roof! = I'll use my butt!

Prongs- *appears to be laughing*

Padfoot-*sits on the cell phone and farts*

Moony- Ew Padfoot!

Nancy- Ewww! Daddy it smells!

Prongs- Yeah Pads, should we call you Gas-ass from now on?

Padfoot- Hey y'all should be grateful I just turned us back!

_Yeah but you didn't have to stink up the place!__**  
><strong>_**  
>Albus: Here is our question to you:<strong>

**Me: What question do you want to ask us? We'll try to answer! One question per person.**

Prongs- First who the hell are you? And why is your name like Dumbles?

Moony- That's your grandson _Smartness!_

Prongs- Time traveling again? Okay…why are you named after Albus?

Padfoot- Yeah and why do Slytherins still exsist?

Moony- Does Professor McGonagall still work there?

Padfoot- Yeah how is Minnie?

Prongs- Looking youthful as ever?

Padfoot & Prongs- *snort*

Nancy- Is Teddy dating James?

Prongs- Who me?

Nancy- No other James…because that would be so hottt!

_I know right? :D_

Prongs- O.O! I'm grateful you're not talking about me but when you mention my name like that…

Albus: Actually, I had another question... we need to prank the Slytherins. They're bullying Scorpius again, since he's in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin, so we need a good prank. A really good one.

Prongs- Who's Scorpius?

_Lucius's grandson._

Prongs- Ahhhh…shouldn't that kid be in Slytherin? Have you tried Levicrpus?

Padfoot- Or the old dungbombs?

Prongs- Or kidnapping one of them and demanding a ransom?

Padfoot- Is that what you did? I thought you were the pedobear when I saw that kid tied up on your bed.

Prongs- :D Maybe I am…

*everyone*- O_o!

**Me: Oh, right... as long as it doesn't get us expelled.**

Prongs- If they learn to keep their mouth shut you won't :D

Moony- you scare me sometimes Prongs…

**By the way... the thing with Lily? It's not stopping. Stupid hyperactive brain cells are going crazy in that girl.  
><strong>

Prongs- Lily?

Granddaughter

Prongs- Is everyone named after someone?

Moony- Pretty much

**Albus: Gifts... Padfoot, another centaur blood t-shirt.**

Padfoot- Heh heh this time VICTORY IS MINE!

**Me: It says, "Slytherins Rule!" so you can pass it off as a gift from a secret admirer. ;)**

Padfoot- What are you saying?

_James can give it to Snape!_

Moony- It kills you you know

_Oh then never mind!_

Prongs- No no if you insist

_: ( You better not!_

**Albus: Remus, we got you chocolate. But it's not just any chocolate... this literally stimulates brain activity. I used it during OWLs... didn't get caught. **

Moony- I don't need it I'm smart enough but chocolate's chocolate! Gimme! Gimme!

Padfoot- Hey share some of us need that brain power!  
><strong><br>Me: For Lizard... guess what? A ticket to heaven. It's a free conversation with Dumbledore. Talk to him about your stress issues... it's far beyond what we can handle at this point...**

_I don't have stress-*yanks ticket and leaves*_

Padfoot- What a hippogriff!  
><strong><br>Albus: And Nancy, we got you an invisible box. It turns anything inside it invisible... hope you can find it...  
><strong>

Nancy- -_- Gee, thanks *walks around* AH! *trips* Found it!**  
><strong>

**Me: See you later!**

*everyone*- BYE!

_Question 165 comes from_ **RemmyBlack**

**Moony's right, I'm a Slytherin but that is NOT the reason for the evil laugh..the evil laugh was a result of me having lots of sugar (like a two whole tub of sugar) while watching Megamind one thousand times...**

_Hehe I've seen that movie!_

Padfoot- Hey you're back!

Moony- What happened?

_*shrugs* I had an epiphany_

Prongs- Nice! Hey Nancy put this cloak that my dad gave me in the box!

**Anywhere... :P**

**Have you guys been to the Hufflepuff common room? What's it look like?**

_AWESOME!_

Padfoot & Prongs- Eh -_-

Moony- Very bumblebeeish

Nancy- I'll say.

**So...*picks up a white fluffy dog* Look! It's a Tux! (inside joke you won't get :3)**

Padfoot- *being the idiot he is laughs anyways*

Prongs- I do not know this mutt…*backs away from Sirius*

**If you wanna know the type of dog, he is a Japanese spitz (and they are so cute)...soooo *climbs up the nearest statue with blanket and little toy bunny* NIGHTY NIGHT!**

Padfoot- Is everyone crazy?

Moony- No just you.

Padfoot- -_-?

Prongs & Moony- :D

_Question 166 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Yo.**

*everyone except Moony*- What up Blood?**  
><strong>

Moony- I don't know them…

**Well I'm always loyal to Klaine and Wevid...**

**Klaine&Wes: What!**

**Me: Well it's true.**

**Wes: I found a song for me to sing.**

**Me: What?**

**Wes: Girlfriend**

**Me: Ohhh Hell no I say 'You Belong with me' By Taylor Swift...**

**Wes: Fine so when David getting here?**

**Me: Soon.**

**David: *walks into room* sup people**

**Klaine, Wes&Me: sup David.**

**Me: Okay David is here to the senior common room!**

**At senior's common room**

**Me: Hit the music!**

***Music starts playing***

**Wes:**

**You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset**

**She's going off about something that you said**

**'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do**

**I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night**

**I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like**

**And she'll never know your story like I do**

**But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts**

**She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers**

**Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find**

**That what you're looking for has been here the whole time**

**If you could see that I'm the one who understands you**

**Been here all along, so why can't you see?**

**You, you belong with me, you belong with me**

**Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans**

**I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be**

**Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself**

**Hey, isn't this easy?**

**And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town**

**I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down**

**You say you're fine, I know you better than that**

**Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?**

**She wears high heels, I wear sneakers**

**[ From: . ]**

**Padfoot- Hurry go to the website!**

**_I'm trying I'm trying!_**

***computer blows up***

**_-_- Great…_**

**She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers**

**Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find**

**That what you're looking for has been here the whole time**

**If you could see that I'm the one who understands you**

**Been here all along, so why can't you see?**

**You belong with me**

**Standing by and waiting at your back door**

**All this time how could you not know?**

**Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me**

**Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night**

**I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry**

**And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams**

**Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me**

**Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?**

**Been here all along, so why can't you see?**

**You belong with me**

**Standing by and waiting at your back door**

**All this time, how could you not know?**

**Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me**

**You belong with me**

**Have you ever thought just maybe**

**You belong with me?**

**You belong with me**

**Me &Klaine: *applause***

**David: *speechless* *clears throat* That is a wonderful song Wes but you're my best friend I can't just dump my girlfriend for my best friend.**

**Me: Well David you fucker how could you say that? Wes loves you and you go breaking his heart. You know what you suck. *walks away***

**Klaine &Wes: Wait Klaine Lover.**

**David: *turns to Lizard* What did I do wrong?**

_What did you do wrong? *clueless*_

Nancy-*absorbed with texting*

Padfoot- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?DUMP THAT BITCH AND GO OUT WITH WESSSSS!AHHHH!  
>I CAN'T STAND UNREQUITED LOVE!<p>

Prongs- Welcome to my world Wes.

Moony- I agree you should go with Wes, if you feel the same.

**Me: Oh Well Moony thanks for your answers Lizard, Padfoot and Nancy you guys didn't answer me ;A;**

Padfoot & Nancy & Lizard- SORRRYYYY!

Moony- Yeah you better be!

Padfoot- I'm sorry we can't all be as skinny and beautiful and smart and caring and amazing as you!

Moony-*blush* Uh…?

Prongs- What about me?

Padfoot- -_-? What about you?

Prongs- -_-

***hands Moony Iphone and BL books and 1 year supply of chocolates* use the Iphone well. *walks away*  
><strong>

Padfoot- Noooo! I want stuff!

Moony-*grins evilly* I now have the key to the future!*raises I Phone like a sword* I HAVE THE POOOWWWWEEEERRRR!

**David: Well I do love Wes now I screwed up my chances I will never get him. *phone rings in pocket* *takes out phone and see girlfriend brakes up with him text* You got to be kidding me.**

Ouch.*hands David a bad chick flick and a tub of ice-sympathy-cream*

Padfoot- You better go with Wes and apologize!

_Question 167 comes from_ **SetoXSara**

**NONONONONONONO! I AM NOT A HUFFLEPUFF! I AM EXTREMELY INSULTED BY THAT REMARK! I AM A SLYTHERCLAW! (Slytherin and Ravenclaw). I know what your thinking, how is this possible? How can I be in two Houses? Well, it goes like this *cue flashback***

**Saskia Dowley!**

**Sorting Hat: Let's see... a brilliant mind, no doubt about that... perhaps Ravenclaw... but then again, your ambition to be someone is so very strong, so maybe Slytherin? Very tough, Very tough indeed...SLYTHERCLAW! *end flashback***

*everyone*- *wtf look* O_o?

**So yeah. If you are wondering about Quidditch and House points, I am a Ravenclaw Chaser so I am in the Slytherin Common room, and my points are split so each House get equal points from me.**

Padfoot-…Slytherclaw?

**It's only until the Sorting Hat decides my full house.**

_Please be Hufflepuff! Please be Hufflepuff!_

**It will be Slytherin *leaves and comes back in 5 minutes with a robe lined with green* Yep Slytherin! Awesome! I'm also being transferred onto the Slytherin Quidditch team. I scored the most goal this season. Ravenclaw are winning, but Slyth'll get 'em back.**

Prongs- OH YEAH BRING IT! GRIFFYNDOR PRIDE RIGHT HERE SON!

**Anyway... ACCIO TAPE! TO THE POTTERS!**

Prongs- Why are they going to my house?

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard & Nancy- Er…well…

Prongs- Wait up *Apparate*

Padfoot- Shit Prongs is gonna kill me!

***At the Potters* *moans are coming from the T.V* OMG -drooool- *Prongs walks in* Oh hi gi-AHHH! WTF! *backs away* Anyway, out sexy people! Prongs made us turn it off... bitch (speaking of bitch... Lauren, I am using this prank on you... heheheh) I'm killing Prongs.**

Prongs- *comes back* PADDFOOOTTT!

Padfoot-*whimpers*

Prongs-OOHHH YOU ARE SOOO DEAD!

_Wait!_

WE ARE EXPERINCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES- HANG IN THERE-

30 MINUTES LATER

Prongs-Okay get me out!

_No!_

Padfoot- Yeah you're stuck there for a while mate.

_Question 167 comes from_ **Poemrider**

**Sirius, would you and remus ever shag IN ANIMAL FORM?**

Moony- That's a bit personal no?

Padfoot- We already-*muffled*

Moony- Shut up Padfoot!

Prongs & Lizard & Nancy- EWWW!

Moony & Padfoot-*blush*

_If that doesn't answer your question then…_

Prongs- For reals TMI!

_Question 168 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**HI! What's up! SIRIUS! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT HOGGING KISSES? *whacks padfoot over the head with a old, rolled up Daily Prophet* *sigh* And hey! Be careful with my book! *glares at Moony* *Anne reading over my shoulder* -Um, Pheonix maybe u should close ur eyes and count to ten before u kill Papa- *turns to Anne and smiles and says sickly sweet tone* Now, why on earth would i do that? I would never kill him, i might hex him from here to the moon, but never kill him. I'll be right back. *leaves, a bang and a crash are heard* **

*everyone*- O.O?

**^10 mintues later^ Okay, I'm ok now. Sorry, it's just special to me, sorry. Anyway... Here's some fudge me, Anne and Harry made! And you guys HAVE to share it! Or else! **

_Share! You fatties!_

Prongs- Sirius's piece is bigger!

Padfoot- Is not!

Nancy- Remus is hogging!

Moony- -_- Am not!

Padfoot- Moony!

Moony- I'm not! She's lying!

Prongs- Well she is _your_ daughter.

Padfoot & Nancy- -_-

**And Remus, here's a damnit doll. You can do anything you want to it and it repairs itself. I gave one to Anne and she loves it. -That I do, that I do-  
><strong>

Moony-*pretends it's Sirius's head* RIPPPPP!

Padfoot- O.O!

*it repairs itself*

Padfoot- *sighs* Phew!

**To MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword, while Lizard may be stressed, I'm more worried for Moony. He has to deal with Padfoot and Nancy. **

Moony- THANK YOU!

**That can't be good for him. Don't get me wrong, i love Padfoot and all, but sometimes i'd like smack a few times with a nice heavy book.**

Padfoot- No thanks I get hit enough!

Nancy- It's true see he probably has brain damage.

**Hugs and Kisses!**

**Love,**

**Pheonix *whips out wand* ACCIO TAPE! *flees***

Prongs- Stay out of my house!

_Question 169 comes from _

**b-b-b-b-b-but. . . there be more. . . . right?¿**

Padfoot- From?

_I don't know it's blank!_

Prongs- OHMYGOD! IT'S A GHOST!

Moony- -_- It's not a ghost.

Nancy- I think its CAN'TLOGIN look at the question marks…

Moony- Oh yeah! It is!

Prongs- So it's not a ghost?

Moony- No.

Prongs- Awww : (

Moony- Anyways what do you mean more of what?

_Question 170 comes from_ **James Potter**

Moony- Really James really?

Prongs- It had to be done

***Prongs Rage* NO!Nonononononononono no noooo NO! There will be absolutely no The Tape showing at my house. If my parents walk in on some fanclub watching that kind of stuff they`ll worry for the future safety of me and Lily`s future son Elfendork.  
><strong>

Padfoot- Hey I called dibs!

**I`ll do it for some pink grapefruit tictacs and a super strong locking charm on my door courtesy of LUPIN. (Hehehehehe. . . too big of a hint?)**

Moony- Yes yes that is.

_Question 171comes from _**RLD**

**OMG! *starts giggling, jumping around and screaming* I can really talk to you and u'll respond? *shrieks and faints*  
><strong>

Padfoot- That's right *winks* Oh wait she passed out

**-2 HOURS LATER-**

***Wakes up***

**Wait till i tell my friends about this! They will go nuts! Ooooo, they will be SO jealous! HeeHee. *clears throat***

Prongs- Jealous of him?

Padfoot- Shut James! And why are you still here?

Prongs- -_-

**Anyay, I LOVE YOU GUYS! **

Moony- Aw thank you we love you too!

Padfoot- Yeah here you go *hands her a Wolfstar subscription*

**Sirius, my gay friend always topped and refused to bottom until he lost this bet with his boyfriend. And he found out that it wasn't so bad, so now he's a switcher! So, please just try it? For me?*coughs* I mean Moony?**

Padfoot-…

Moony-*werewolf eyes*

Padfoot- Fine!

Moony- YES!

Remus, do u get hornier near the full moon?

Moony- NOOOO! I mean…sometimes…

Prongs- Whoa!

Padfoot- Damn Moony!

Moony- :D

**Have you read any of the fanfics about you guys? **

**Moony- Yes unfortunately…**

**Padfoot- It made me nosebleed**

**Nancy- It made me gag, I don't need to know what my dad na dmy uncle are doing =_=**

**I just love reading them! **

Moony & Padfoot- -_-

**If you could have children, what would guys name them?**

Padfoot & Prongs- ELVENDORK!

Padfoot- -_-

Prongs- -_-

Padfoot- That's my name!

Prongs- No it's not!

Moony- I would name my kid Romulus

_Oooh hah good one Rem!_

Moony- ^_^

**Lizard! What happened to the gifts you used to give? :( *sigh* Oh, well. **

_Uhhh….budget cuts? Well I could start right now…*hands you a stack of Boy's Love books*_

_Here you go!_

***grabs Sirius and kisses him on the mouth, then grabs Remus and kisses on the mouth* WOW! THAT WAS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT! Well, gotta go! Much love! Bye! *flees gigging***

Moony & Padfoot- O_o

Moony-*blushes*

Padfoot- *gapes*

Prongs-*ROFL!*

_Prongs get off the floor…_

Nancy- Did that girl just?

_Question 172 comes from_ **kali yugah**

**HEEYYYYYY YOU GUYS! I'M BAAAAACCCCCKKKK!  
><strong>

Prongs- HEYYY GURLLL!

Moony- Hi ignore the idiots beside me

**Looks sheepish as sirius hides behind remus.**

**It's i'm all better now, no more urges to shoot a bazooka. :)**

Padfoot- Phew! Thank the Gods!

**ok remus, sirius and author who is the better piarate Captain Jack Sparrow or Davey Jones?**

Padfoot- Jack Sparrow!

Moony- Davy Jones

Prongs- Jack Sparrow

Nancy- Jack Sparrow!

_Barbosa!_

*everyone*- -_-?

_What I like him okay!*hands you a ticket to Pirates of the Caribbean 4*_

_Last Question comes from _**A mysterious Death Eater**

Padfoot- Wait where did Nancy go?

_Huh?_

**Sirius, Remus, Lizard,**

**You have until three chapters from now to give me what I want, or you will lose something special to you.**

**Nancy: Daddy, Help!**

**Sirius, I've taken your daughter as hostage, do as I say or the next time you see her will be in a coffin!**

Padfoot- Da FU-

Prongs- Oh shi—

Moony- Son of a b—

_Stop cursing! And give him what he wants!_

Padfoot- *hands chocolate*

Moony-*hands books*

Prongs-*hands a tape that he found*

_*hands…anything?* Thank you for reviewing?_

*The Three Marauders*- -_-

_Sorry I know…_


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Sorry this took almost another holiday HAPPY THANKSGIVING! And I'm sorry for any mistakes! James is still here bugger won't leave because he's "bored" so yeah thanks to all who reviewed!**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column<em>

_Question 174 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**Me: Wait... RLD? Where have i seen that before?...**

Padfoot- Er…from the last column?

Moony- …There's no way you're that dumb Pads -_-  
><strong><br>Anne: She's that crazy fan girl that kidnapped Harry and Draco and got sent to an insane aslylum, remember?**

Harry: I still have nightmares about that -_-

Padfoot & Moony- O.O!

_Fangirls these days huh?_

Moony- -_- You're one of them!

_Nu-uh!_

Moony- Yeah huh!

_Don't you start skinny man!_

Moony- -_-

Me: Well, get Nev and Ron to find her! NOW! *Harry and Anne leave* Anyway, SIRIUS BOTTOMED! PARTY AT PRONGS' HOUSE! *whispers to Remus* got any proof? videotape? pictures?

Moony- No sorry it was quick and easy Sirius isn't very tight…

Padfoot-*blushes* So what if I've stretched myself out a couple times! I mean everybody does it right?

Moony & Lizard- …*cough*

Padfoot- -_-! Well no, no evidence except a sore bottom! Ow!

_Hehe yeah I can see the tube pillow thing he's sitting on right now! Haha it's like he's pregnant!_

Padfoot- What are you SAYING! That I'm FAT?*cries*

_No! No! Sorry I didn't mean that!_

Padfoot- NO! It's been said! I'm faaaaaat!*sobs*

Moony- -_- Months of therapy wasted!

Prongs- YO! I'm here what'd I miss?

Padfoot- *still crying on Moony's shoulder*

Moony-*making a face at his now wet sweater* …I liked this sweater…

Prongs- -_-

_:D Hey?_

***Normal voice* Prongs, I did not watch the tape at your house. **

Prongs- Hmph you better not!

**Ok, I'm having some twin prankster troubles. They keep taking my stuff and hiding them. I can't prank them 'cause I don't want to start a prank war. Last time we all ended up in the hospital for a month.**

Anne: Yeah, not as fun as you think...

Moony- Yeah hospitals are not the least bit entertaining.

Prongs- Lucky we're there huh Moons?

Moony- Oh yes without you I'd probably die -_-

Padfoot- Is he being sarcastic?

Prongs-*shrugs* Hard to tell anymore.

**Me: SOMEONE KIDNAPPED NANCY? NO! If you need our help, just ask! **

_Well we might get an answer later on so we'll have to wait and see…_

**OH! PRESENT TIME! James, some Patented Daydream Potion, use wisely. **

James-*grins evilly*

**Sirius, a bottle of lub ;). **

Padfoot- -_- Har Har!

**Remus, a large moleskin bag of chocolate, only you can open this :).**

Moony- Well ^_^ It's about time!

**Lizard, a large birthday cake and ice cream. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! **

_Yay! *squees and rolls in it*_

Prongs & Padfoot & Moony- O_o Wtf?

**For Nancy, (when she comes back) a plush black dog.**

Padfoot- : (

Moony- There there *pats back* We'll find her.

_Yeah I mean you can only keep that girl for so long -_-_

Padfoot- What are you trying to saying? -_-!

_You're annoying -_- And she's your daughter so she has that annoyingness in her genes_

Padfoot-…eh true.

**FOR EVERYONE! Chocolate Chip cookies and Blueberry muffins, made by us! Oh, Anne wants to know if you liked the fudge. **

*everyone* Yay!

Padfoot- Yes we liked the fudge but now I'm faaaat! *cries* And my daughter is gooonnee! WAAAAHHHH!

Prongs- GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MATE! *smacks face*

Padfoot- -_- STOP HITTING ME WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!

Prongs- -_- It was supposed to help.

Padfoot- Well it didn't! Smacking is overrated anyways, you should know better!

Prongs- : P

**Hugs and Kisses,**

**Love,**

**Phoenix, Anne and Harry**

_I'm doing presents again *hands you both a bag of unicorn turds and Drobble's* Yumm Drobble's…_

_Question 175 comes from _**RLD**

**OMG! Prongs too! *shrieks and faints***

*wakes up*

Prongs- That's right it's me in all my glory ; ) Your wildest dreams have now been fulfilled.

Padfoot- Hmph and you thought I had a big head**!**

Moony- My mistake Paddy

Padfoot- ^_^ Okay now gimme kiss!

Moony- ^_^ *leans forward*

Prongs- EW!

*kiss*

Prongs- Ugh!

Padfoot- Shut up Antler boy!  
><strong><br>Thanks for the subscription! And the books!**

_You're welcome!_

**Prongs, would ever be with a guy? **

Prongs-WHAT!

Padfoot- Yeah Prongs gotta thing for me? *waggles eyebrows*

Prongs- Ew! Incest no way! Sorry creepy puppy loving fangirls but I'm a stag and a stag needs his doe!

_Oh! Oh! Snape's Patronus is a doe so that must mean-_

Prongs- NO!

_:(_

**Padfoot and Remus, thats too bad. If you guys had a girl, what would you name her?**

Padfoot- Elvendork! Its uni-sex!

Moony- Yeaaah we are _not _naming the baby that.

Padfoot- : (

**And my friends were jealous 'cause i talked to guys.**

Padfoot- Well they need to get over it!

Moony- Or they could come talk to us themselves.

Padfoot- Yeah that too!

**albet, they are in my head, or so the people in white coats say... 8D**

Padfoot & Moony- O_o!

**Anyway, gotta go now, someones banging at my door. *grabs Prongs and kisses him, grabs Padfoot kisses him and smacks his butt, grabs Moony and repeats what he did to Padfoot to him* Bye! *goes to answer door***

Padfoot- Ouch! *rubs butt*

Prongs- What the heck does she always do that?

Moony- Yes I think…*rubs butt*

_Oh wait here's a new straitjacket *hands her a new straitjacket*_

_Question 176 comes from _**TechNomaNcer28**

**Oh heavens, Master Prongsie? Why is you here? It was to be Moony and Padfoot alone! Intruding i say, you is intruding upon interesting m/m moments, depriving the fangirls, Sir!**

Prongs- -_- Are you mocking my accent?

Padfoot- Yeah James butt out!

Prongs- People wanted me here!

Padfoot- Not me…

Prongs- -_- Shut up! You can't score anyways!

Moony- Hey the score is right here!

Prongs- Sorry Moony!

Padfoot- At least I have someone to not score with!

Prongs- …?

Padfoot- Oh wait that came out wrong!

Prongs- :D

Padfoot- Stop it!

Prongs- :D

Padfoot- URGH!*pouts*

_Question 177 comes from_ **Alexia**

**Hey, everyone! My name is Alexia (legit, thats my real name) and I was wondering what to do with this guy I know. He's quite fit and hot but is way too aware of it and keeps pestering me. **

Padfoot- He sounds a lot like Prongs

Prongs- Sounds like a nice guy…

Moony- You would say that Prongs.

**He's a lot like James actually.**

Padfoot- HAHA! I knew it!

Prongs- Another me? :D

**I really do like him (he is one of my best guy friends) but I feel like telling him that would be giving into his childish behavoir.**

Moony- You know what we should go get Lily!

Padfoot- No! No women allowed!

_Hey!_

Padfoot- Oh please you know what I mean!

Prongs- Go get my love Rem!

Padfoot- Remus!

Moony- *oops, already left*

Padfoot- *grrs*

**I mean who steals a girls bra and then proceeds to wear it in front of all her friends singing Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis?**

_Uhh….James does?_

Prongs- For your information I did it to Elvis's "Burning Love"

_-_- Same difference_

Moony- I'm back!

Lily- Okay and I just write on this?

Moony- Yeah it tells us everything we're doing too.

Lily- Alright…wait who is this?

_I'm their boss/narrator :)_

Lily- Okay…

**Urgh, anyways your advice is much appreciated. **

Lily- What was the question?

Padfoot- -_-

Prongs- Look up my love!

Lily- James I am not your _love_ *reads it* Oh that poor, poor girl!

Moony- So what should she do, Lils?

Lily- You should get away from him and hang around a Snapeish like boy then when the time comes decide who you should be with.

_Uhh…_

Moony- Er…

Prongs- Um…

Padfoot- That's utter BOLLOCKS!

Lily- What? How _dare_ you? Do you even _know_ what position I'm in!

Padfoot- A stupid one!

Lily- I don't need to take this from you! How long did it take you to admit your feelings to Remus!

Padfoot- Four years-

Moony- =_= Five years.

Padfoot- Yeah whatever!

Lily- See? See?

Padfoot- No I don't C!

Lily- DON'T TRUST MEN! That's my advice! *leaves*

Prongs-_ Lily?_

Moony- Great advice -_- She'll love to hear that.

Padfoot- She started it!

Lizard & Moony & Prongs- -_-

Moony- Okay my advice would be to go out with him or admit your feelings or whatever and see where it goes because if he's like James then he probably just wants you to be with him and he'll sow what a nice guy he is on the inside. Also teenage relationships don't last very long so…

_What? What about you two?_

Padfoot- *rolls eyes* We're characters from a book series and we're gay, we're practically adored by the whole _world_. Why would you _ever_ break us up?

**By the way I'm a huge Remus/Sirius fan. You two are so cute and awkward together. ;)**

Padfoot- C? C? This only proves my point!

_Shut up! And you're making an improper use of the letter C!  
><em>

Padfoot- So? I'm Sirius Black.

Moony & Lizard- -_-

Prongs- Do you think Lily's mad at me?

Moony- No she's mad at Padfoot.

Prongs- He's like a _part_ of me! That means she is!

_He's a part of you? Creepy but cute._

Prongs- We four Marauders always stick together if she's mad at one of us she's mad at all of us!

Padfoot- Speaking of that where's Peter?

Prongs- Who cares!

_-_- *notices James is being a hypocrite*_

Prongs- HEY!

_:) Oops! I forgot you could read. *hands you a pair of subscriptions from the puppies*_

_Question 178 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**Yay! *grabs subscription***

Padfoot- You're welcome Snuffles!

Moony- Please don't start.

**What's so bad about being crazy? Sanes no fun...**

Prongs- I agree.

Padfoot- Obviously you haven't met the fangirls James.

**So I'm either going to be Moony or Prongs or Wormtail... I can't pull Padfoot off... :( *weeps in shame and teenage angst***

Prongs- Go as me!

Padfoot- Dude Halloween passed already!

Moony- Yeah we would of know if somebody *glares at Lizard* hadn't gotten to work more often!

_Hey lay off I have a life outside of you!_

Padfoot- I knew it! She's _cheating_ on us!

Prongs- *gasps* the disgrace!

Moony- Idiots…

**though going has him would create some problems... I don't wanna attract any girls... I already have a girlfriend. :D It would just create problems.**

Padfoot- But don't you _want _drama in your life?

Moony- Not everyone loves the concept as much as you Pads.

Prongs- Ah yes Sirius, _King of Drama!_

Padfoot-*laughs* I like it call me that more often!

Prongs- Only if you call me _King of the Idiots Like Sirius!_

Padfoot- Okay!

Moony-*sighs*

Padfoot- Oh wait…*brain processing*…HEY! I'm _not_ an idiot!

Prongs- *laughing*

Moony- *grabs random rolled up newspaper* Enough!*hits them both*

**I WAS thinking about Moony, but I can't find a werewolf hat... :( I just think that I'll go as Prongs. Everyone says that I look like a black American female version of him anyways... -.- **

Prongs- Another another me? :D

Moony- *a bit worried*Never knew there were so many Prongs in this world…

Prongs- Do you know what this means? There must be all kinds of James' out there! Each with their own Lily! That means-I can create an army of James' and send them into war for the Lilys' then kill all of the Snapes' MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Moony- Don't you think you're getting ahead of yourself?

**Though evidentially I act more like Padfoot... **

Prongs- Aww!

Padfoot- YEAH!*dances*

**Speaking of Padfoot... Are you really going to bottom? Because I can't see Moony topping. He's just not man enough... :D *laughs maniacally and then runs and hides before Moony can kill me***

Padfoot- Hell no!

Moony- But you did :D

Padfoot-*sighs* Fine I admit it, and I liked it…

Moony- Yay! *dances*

Padfoot- Whoa! He's stripping!*nosebleeds*

_*nosebleeds too* Moony!  
><em>

Moony-*blushes* Sorry I got away from myself!

Prongs- I really didn't need to see that!*hands you a pair of James's glasses*

_Question 179 comes from_ **kali yugah**

**Hey i'm here. gives greetings to prongs as well. *yeah i see you hiding underneath those bedsheets!*  
><strong>

Prongs- O.O!

**ok then sirius heres a question for you. "Whats is Remus's fave sexual position?"**

Padfoot- From the front! The front!

Prongs- Ew what kind of question is that? And how is that giving advice?

_Shut up James! Let the fangirls rejoice!_

Moony- For your information Pads, I like it from behind—I'm very shy y'know.

Padfoot- Awww*glomps him*

Moony- Ah! Geroff you mutt!

**Remus as an apology for the last question here's a triple choc cake with choc icing and Hershey's kisses on top.**

Moony- ^_^ Yay! *glomps her*

Padfoot- Hey!

Moony- Sorry *glomps him too*

Prongs- Ug too…much…glomping!

**Prongs as a gift to get you closer to Lilly here are a few things to know.**

Prongs- I'm all ears!

**One call her Lilly not Evans; 2 her fave gift is a book call pride and prejudice; her fave flower is juniper and fave colour is lilac.**

Prongs- Roger that! Yay! *glomps her* Thank you!

_Ug James was right too much! : P_

Kisses Remus on the lips and kisses sirius on the cheek.

Moony- O/O

Padfoot- What is up with all the kissing? Not that we mind…

Prongs- Don't I get one?

Padfoot- *brain processing*Hey why did you kiss Moony on the lips and not me!

Moony- Obvious, she likes me more.

Padfoot-Grrr…

Prongs- Oh no Padfoot Jealous! Padfoot Smash!

_Haha! :D *hands kali a Hulk figurine*_

_Question 180 comes from _**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**me: AHH! WTF! How do we get Nancy?**

**Albus: I don't know! She's in the past! She's probably been found already!**

**me: ... Oh yeah. Is she back yet?**

**Albus: I don't know yet!**

**me: Hit the history books?**

**Albus: I'd rather not.**

**me: PLEEEAAASSSEEE?**

**Albus: -_- If she isn't found by the next update, then yes.**

**me: Ok. fine. ALRIGHT... we're answering your questions...**

**Albus: I was named after Dumbledore because my dad looked up to him. Although to enrage you further, I was also named after Severus Snape...**

Prongs- EWWWWWWWWWWW!EW! EW! EW! EW! *throws up*

Moony- O.O!

Padfoot-*gags*

Prongs- What the hell was my son THINKING!

_Now now…_

Prongs- Maybe I should just cut off my bits save us from this!

Moony & Lizard- NO!

_Where did you get that knife!_

Padfoot- Do it James!

_NOO!_ *technical difficulties* * Harry Potter theme song plays meanwhile*

_Okay we're back! :D  
><em>

Prongs- I don't see how tying me up is gonna solve anything?

Padfoot- Yeah and why'd you tie me too?

_HUSH!_

**me: Heh heh... he's awesome though! *pouts* Slytherins exist because... well I don't know. The Sorting Hat almost put me in Slytherin, just because I'm ambitious and cunning. But it decided Gryffindor instead.  
><strong>

_Isn't everyone a least a little ambitious?_

Padfoot & Prongs- No!

**Albus: And actually, McGonagall is now the Headmistress... She must be taking a youth potion or something!**

Padfoot- Whooo! Go Minnie!

Prongs- Always knew she had it in her!

Moony- That must mean… : (

Prongs- Must mean what? Oh wait…Aww I'm a miss that old man

Padfoot- Who?

Prongs- Dumbles

Padfoot- I thought he retired.

_Nope he died._

Padfoot- What that sucks :P

**me: Teddy is not, in fact, dating James. Teddy is dating Victoire. Teddy and James are like brothers... yuck.**

Padfoot & Moony &Lizard- Awww : (

Prongs- Good stay away from my grandson! Gay perverts…  
><strong><br>Albus: Although James does seem to be looking at a certain Ravenclaw boy a lot more recently...**

Prongs- Nooo! My grandson!

Padfoot- That's my Sirius James!

_James Sirius_

Padfoot- -_- Whatever.  
><strong><br>me: True that. But... What I meant, Padfoot, is that she won't suspect that a t-shirt from a "secret admirer" (whoever that would be) would have centaur blood. Moony, it doesn't kill you... it just *feels* like acid. ;)**

Padfoot- Ah good thinking :D That bitch is gonna get owned!

Moony- Somehow that doesn't make it sound any pleasanter…  
><strong><br>Albus: I don't have much more time... we still have to finish creating the master prank for the Slytherins. So now questions:**

**me: Where are you wizards in WWII? I mean, a lot of Muggles died then... what did they do?**

Prongs- There was a war?

Padfoot- Who knows I always fall asleep in that boring old class.

Moony-*blushes* So do I unfortunately…wait isnn't that in Muggle Studies?

Padfoot & Prongs- *shrug*

**We tried to ask the new librarian (forgot her name) but she just got red and sent us out of there. Since you guys are closer to that time period, maybe you've heard stories?**

Moony- I actually have…I think there was a pure blood who liked the thought of Muggles in his control so he advised Adolf Hitler into doing the whole Nazi thing but then wizards in England found out and they warned the Muggles well the prime minister…

Prongs- America was there too right?

Moony- Yeah and they won or something…I don't know I haven't actually read much over Muggles.

Padfoot- Muggles are boring.

_HEY!_

Padfoot- What I'm not taking it back -_-

Albus: That is all! Bye!

_Bye *hands you a book over WWII with a bunch of graphic moving pictures*_

_Question 181 comes from _**RemmyBlack**

**wow...depressing..you know what you need? THE EXTERMINATER!**

Prongs- The exter—I'm sorry but are all these girls mental?

Moony- She's probably one of Sirius's girls…

Padfoot- Hey! I thought she had a good idea.

Yeah but we don't have an exterminator!

Padfoot- Oh…right : (  
><strong><br>*trips over overly long t-shirt* **

Padfoot- Heh heh cute.

Prongs & Moony- -_-

Padfoot- What? I find girls tripping over long shirts cute!

**so...Lizard, have you seen the movie 'Paul'? about the kick alien dude?  
><strong>

_Um no, I saw it the other day and was about to but… you know how it is. _

**If you haven't, you should! And if you're a nerd (like me, look at the t-shirt people :nerd and proud:) there's this little game where you can see how many references you can spot! It's a sci-fi comedy and bloody awesome...**

_I'm a bit of a nerd…I just have a lot of brain farts okay!_

**Now...I have no questions anymore except this...PIGEONS ARE EVIL!**

Padfoot- Ew they are evil!

Prongs-…Yeah I don't want to know…

**Ok, so that wasn't the question but you must have the warning. Padfoot, do something useful and kill the pigeons!...And make it as painless as possible..and do it in dog form to...(animal rightest, here) but the pigeons are evil!**

Padfoot- I'll do my best sir! *salutes*

Moony- -_-

_Hey don't kill pigeons I once healed one and his name was Hershey. _

Prongs- No comment.

Padfoot- Fine I won't kill them…yet

**And yes, most fangirls are crazy..why do you think we are called 'fangirls'? DUH! **

Padfoot- Yeah James! Get it together!

Prongs- Whatever you're all weird!

**CRAZYNESS! *climbs up alien stature* NIGHTY NIGHT! NEXT TIME I REVIEW, I MIGHT BE ON A SPACESHIP! :) :) :) :) :) :3 :3 :3 :3 :3**

_*_everyone*- O.O!

_Here you go!*hands you a plush toy alien*_

_Question 182 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Yo. Why is my nickname Blood?**

**David: M**

_Oh no she died!_

_Padfoot- WHAT! 911!_

_Moony- Its just a typo calm down. And why is her nickname Blood?_

_Prongs- Because she wears red?_

_Padfoot- How can you tell?_

_Prongs- *furrowing eyebrows* Hm—I can't_

_-_- Yeah we're getting nowhere…_

**Sorry for typo it's not that I'm dead. *cough*  
><strong>

Moony- See told you so!

**David: Maybe you're right I should apologise(I learn British in my country so what I'm not American) to Wes. *runs to Wes room***

5 minutes later *cricket sound*

Prongs- Wait who are these people?

Moony& Padfoot & Lizard- SHH!  
><strong><br>David: *knocks on door* Wes I need to talk to you.**

**Wes: Go away David go out with your girlfriend or something!**

**David: I'm not fucking going anywhere I just want to talk to you. Emily broke up with me.**

**Wes:*opens door* Why would she break up with you? You're a gentleman that any girl would wish for.**

**David: True but I just realised that I'm actually in love with you.**

**Wes: Well I wanted to tell you but you rejected me twice it hurts okay.**

**David: I understand. I'm sorry for being an asshole.**

**Wes: Forgiven so I love you too.**

**David: *lean and kiss Wes***

Prongs- EW! EW!

**Wes: *kiss back*  
><strong>

Prongs- EWWWWW!

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- SHUT UP!

**ME: *walking down the corridor listening to teenage dream* *walks in on them* OH MY GOD MY EYES!  
><strong>

Prongs- _MY _EYES!

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- -_-

**Wevid: OH MY GOD Klaine Lover we can explain.**

**Me: It's okay good to know that you guys are together.**

**Klaine: What's with all the shouting?**

**Me: Well Wevid is together.**

**Klaine: We're happy for you double date next time?**

**Wevid: Sure**

**Me: Well let Blaine sing one of his favourite song.**

**Blaine: Wait what?**

**Me: Teenage Dream.**

**Padfoot & Moony- YAY!**  
><strong><br>Blaine: Oh to the senior's common room. A Very Potter Musical quote: What the hell is a Hufflepuff?**

**Me: LOL Blaine a bit too much AVPM quote. Hit the music**

**Blaine:**

**You think I'm pretty**

**Without any make-up on**

**Prongs- Dude wears make-up? Ow! *gets smacked by Padfoot***  
><strong><br>You think I'm funny**

**When I tell the punch line wrong**

**I know you get me**

**So I let my walls come down**

**Down...**

**Before you met me**

**I was alright**

**But things were kinda heavy**

**You brought me to life**

**Now every February**

**You'll be my Valentine,**

**Valentine...**

**Let's go all the way tonight**

**No regrets, just love**

**We can dance until we die**

**You and I**

**We'll be young forever**

**You make me**

**Feel like**

**I'm living a Teenage Dream**

**The way you turn me on**

**I can't sleep**

**Let's run away**

**And don't ever look back**

**Don't ever look back**

**My heart stops**

**When you look at me**

**Just one touch**

**Now baby I believe**

**This is real**

**So take a chance**

**And don't ever look back**

**Don't ever look back**

**We drove to Cali**

**And got drunk on the beach**

**Got a motel and**

**Built a fort out of sheets**

**I finally found you**

**My missing puzzle piece**

**I'm complete**

**Let's go all the way tonight**

**No regrets, just love**

**We can dance until we die**

**You and I**

**We'll be young forever**

**You make me**

**Feel like**

**I'm living a Teenage Dream**

**The way you turn me on**

**I can't sleep**

**Let's run away**

**And don't ever look back**

**Don't ever look back**

**My heart stops**

**When you look at me**

**Just one touch**

**Now baby I believe**

**This is real**

**So take a chance**

**And don't ever look back**

**Don't ever look back**

**I might get your heart racing**

**In my skin-tights jeans**

**Be your Teenage Dream tonight**

**Let you put your hands on me**

**In my skin-tight jeans**

**Be your Teenage Dream tonight**

**Toninght,tonight,tonight,**

**Tonight,tonight,tonight**

**Yoooouuu...**

**You make me**

**Feel like**

**I'm livin' a Teenage Dream**

**The way you turn me on**

**I can't sleep**

**Let's run away**

**And don't ever look back**

**Don't ever look back**

**No...**

**My heart stops**

**When you look at me**

**Just one touch**

**Now baby I believe**

**This is real**

**So take a chance**

**And don't ever look back**

**Don't ever look back**

**I might get your heart racing**

**In my skin tights jeans**

**Be your Teenage Dream tonight**

**Let you put your hands on me**

**In my skin-tight jeans**

**Be your Teenage Dream tonight**

**Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight**

**Me: Well let's all get ice-cream.**

**Klaine&Wevid: Let's go**

**Me: Wanna come I'll pay. Padfoot Nancy Lizard I for give you. Gifts**

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard & Prongs- Yay!

Prongs- Wait can I get Nancy's gift?

Padfoot & Moony- -_-

Prongs- Er…sorry I'll wait over here then.

**Padfoot Iphone use it well.  
><strong>

Padfoot- SO I just touch-*explodes* *screams*

Moony-*smacks his head* You failure of life!

Padfoot- But! I just touched it!

**Nancy Ipod touch **

Padfoot- I'll just put this away…*carefully puts in a box*

**Lizard Iphone and Ipod touch with songs inside**

_Yay! My MP3 is working so good…oh wait—anyone have earphones?_

*silence*

_Dang!  
><em>**  
>Me: You three use it well.<strong>

You mean you two, Padfoot exploded his.

**10 minutes later at Lima best ice-cream shop**

**Me: Can I have 3 chocolate, 2 vanilla and 4 strawberry ice cream?**

**Cashier: sure *get's ice cream and give it to Klaine Lover* that would be $12 please.**

**Me: *takes out money and gives it to cashier***

**Cashier: Thank you.**

**Me: *gives out ice-cream and eats her chocolate ice cream***

**Bye BTW I like my nickname call me Blood anytime.**

Padfoot- Okay then BLOOD!

Prongs- Isn't that a little gangster-ish?

_Bye Blood!*gives her a red bracelet with the word Blood on it*_

_Question 183 comes from _**itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Hello**

Hi!

Prongs- Yo

Padfoot- Hiya!

Moony- Hello ^_^

Ok I need your help. There are these Slytherin girls who keep being mean to me and my friends. What should I do for revenge. It needs to be A grade pranking.

Prongs- Ambush them with Levicorpus!

Padfoot- Yeah everyone will see their underwear how embarrassing!

Moony- Pranking is not the way to-

Prongs-*sighs* Remus if pranking wasn't the way then we never would have had The Marauders

Padfoot- Or the Map

_Or April Fool's _

Moony- -_- My bad!

**Also I embarrassed Filch in front of the school. Were you there last night? He shouldn't of been so mean to me.**

Prongs- You embarrassed Filch!

Padfoot- Nice!

**Hey Pads have your friends made a list of things you're not allowed to do again ever? Mine have here are the first 5**

**ASKING THE POTIONS PROFESSOR IF TODAY'S ASSIGNMENT CAN BE USED AS LUBE**

**THROWING SHAMPOO AT SNAPE**

**TURNING LUCIUS HAIR PINK BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE LIKED ATTENTION**

**RANDOM GLOMPS**

**SPREADING 'ITEMS' AROUND THE SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOM**

**What are your first five?**

Padfoot- Wow they're actually the same ones as you O.O eerie…

**By the way I want to be a marauder in training please *puppy eyes and pout***

Prongs- Well you can always be a little assistant you could be Padfoot's since you have that list in common.

**and remus don't worry werewolves are awesome.**

Moony- Thank you! ^_^

Bye bye

*everyone*- Bye!

**P.S watch at dinner tonight the Slytherins are going to get a rather big surprise :D**

Prongs- I like this one she seems normal :D *hands you a honorary dungbomb*

_Question 183 comes from _**elliot and sasuke**

**Elliot:-pouts-How come imsiriuslylupin4u gets a wolfstar subscription and i don't.-stares at you with puppy dog eyes-.I want one.**

Padfoot- Well hello to you too

Prongs- Who's this?

Moony- A loyal Moony fan

Padfoot- -_- Grr…

Moony- Pads, is a little jealous :D

Padfoot- Am not!

Prongs- :D

**Bye Love you Remus.**

Moony- ^_^ Bye! *hands you a WolfStar subscription*

Padfoot- *growls*

_Question 184 comes from _**JoyJoyJoy**

**Er. . .this is a little embarrassing, but that one you thought was a ghost was actually me trying some strange punctuation. Anyone can put a ¿ in any document they want. It's just a matter of simple copy/pasting.**

Padfoot-*gasps* It was a ghost!

Moony- -_ - Idiot! She just said—

Padfoot- I know…I'm not dumb you know -_-

Moony- You'd be surprised…  
><strong><br>"Honey Badger just takes what it wants."**

**"Don't worry, you're just as sane as I am."**

Padfoot & Prongs & Moony- Wtf?

_:D lol!_

**GUESS WHAT "LIZARD?" LUNA FINALLY ADMITS THAT THE CRUMPLE-HORNED SNORKACK ISN'T REAL! It's a shame, really.**

_Really? Awww that is a shame!_

Prongs-…I don't want to know…*hands you a Honey Bun*

_Question 185 comes from_ **Padfoot**

**Vote Team Padfoot!**

Prongs & Lizard & Moony- -_-

Padfoot- :D

**Ouch! *turns into black dog form* GRAAAWR! CHOMP! *bites hand that was trying to drag him by his ear to the pointy knight's sword* LAWNMOWER WILL TRIUMPH!**

Prongs- Okay I'm officially worried for you mate.

Padfoot- -_- Shut up James!

Moony- Let's pretend this comment never happened…

_Yeah…_

Padfoot- I'm just promoting my team! Vote for me! PLEASE!

_Anywhoo… Question 186 comes from _**Jive22**

**Err, I don't usually ask for help for anything but... what would one recommend doing if one found themselves in a position of... I guess knowing that something needs to be done, wanting to do something, but never doing it. Its like I can't find the strentgh to do anything.**

_That's me all the time took me long enough to update this thing!_

**I guess I am confused, for I actually want to do the stuff I can't make myself do. O_o **

Prongs & Padfoot- I understand!

Moony- I don't O.O?

**Oh. Good. Heavens. I confused myself.**

Moony- Yeah I'm also confused…  
><strong><br>And, Remus, you sicko! :( I saw you! And I despise you!**

*everyone*- O_O!

Prongs- You heard them they SAW you!

Moony- Saw me do what?

Padfoot- The topping? Eee! Do you think she saw?

_Well whatever she saw you do apologize!_

Moony- Fine -_- I'm sorry I did whatever I did*sympathy cake—well in this case forgiveness cake?*

_Question 187 comes from_ **Severus Snape**

Prongs- What does that troll bum want?

**Sirius, Remus.  
>Only reason I'm doing this is because Nancy is my niece. She is in grave danger and in Voldemort's clutches. He wants a time turner to go into the future, but I think it's a bad idea. He's killed again and is going to turn Nancy into a horcrux. You guys will have to hurry. Meet me at the shrieking shack midnight next week. I'm trying not to make it on a full moon night. Nancy doesn't have much time.<strong>

Padfoot- Well I guess I know what we're doing next week…

Moony- He better not make it to the full moon!

Prongs- Can I come?

Padfoot- Yeah but no fighting with Snape!

Moony- -_- You're one to talk!

_Okay well good luck!  
><em>

_Question 188 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**Hey Guys! So... can we keep Prongs here? Just cos' I want to rub his face in the fact Lily is my best friend and I know who she fancies :)**

Prongs- WHAT! PLEASE TELL ME!

Moony- Great he's excited again -_-

Padfoot- At least he's still tied up…

_Oh yeah forgot I tied him up…_

Prongs- Yeah so now can you untie me?

_Pfft as if!_

Prongs- : (

**Also... SLYTHERIN ARE WINNING IN QUIDDITCH! It's Sytherin vs. Gryffindor on Saturday! We will win James!**

Prongs- Yeah you guys better as your captain I enforce the rule no Gryffindor shall lose to a Slytherin! EVER!

**So... James... don't tell her I told you, but she things you're an arrogant toerag who she hates to love. **

Prongs-…IKNEWIT!SHELOVESME!

**I am also thinking of disowning my Hogwarts hating brother. Stupid Daniel... should I?**

Moony- No I mean he's your brother can't hate your own blood right?

Padfoot- I beg to differ!

Moony- -_-

_Just do what you think is right_

Prongs- Yeah I agree*hands you a James Potter's Prongsies Subscription*

Moony- Prongsies?

Prongs- Yup my fangirls are named Prongsies

Padfoot-*snort* What fangirls?

Prongs- -_-#

_Question 189 comes from _**katieiscoolerthanyou**

**Hey, I just started reading this the other day, I love it!  
><strong>

_Thank you!_

**Seeing as everyone else seems to be getting one could I please have a subscription to Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club? I have much chocolate to bribe you with *does pleading face* **

Moony- You don't need to bribe me…then again *drools* GIMME! *eats chocolate ravenously* *hands you a Remus Lupin's Loopy Fangirl Club Subscription*

**Sorry Sirius but Moony's my favourite..  
><strong>

Padfoot- Aww well you sound so nice so I won't send a bunch of flobberworms in your mail like I did with all the other girls…

Moony- What? Sirius! How rude!

Padfoot- :D  
><strong><br>Anyway here's a kiss for all of you**

**Xxx**

_Remus you and Sirius will have to share one or—PADFOOT!_

Padfoot-*stole them all* um…I can explain!

Prongs- You hog!*smacks him*

_Question 190 comes from_ **CANLOGIN**

**Heheheh. . . notice how it says CAN LOGIN? It's because I can login, I'm just too lazy.**

Padfoot- HARHARHAR!

*everyone else*- O_o?

**Also, I have a very lame joke that I just couldn't help making.**

**"Lizard," you'd better be over 13, or the COPPAS will get you!**

Padfoot & Lizard- HAHAHA!

Prongs & Moony- 0_o?

**I have a present for you all!**

**A tape, not The Tape. "A Tape" is all about me annoying Adult Snape.**

**In the Future!**

**Let's watch!**

**Okay, here's me asking HIM about Piano Man, since you guys were no help there.**

**"Professor Snape, may I ask you something?"**

**"That depends, Miss Brown. What is it?"**

**'Well,in one of my favourite songs, it goes 'It's nine-o-clock on a Saturday, the re-"**

**"NO! There is absolutely no singing in the corridors after hours. 60 points from Hufflepuff."**

***Fast-forwards***

**All right, here I am, showing some first-years the Nyan - Snape Youtube video.**

**"Miss Brown, what are you doing, may I ask?"**

**Well, me, being me, tries to get out of trouble.**

**"Well, Professor, I was merely attempting to get some of the first years to appreciate the arts."**

**"Hmpf. Nyan-hundred points from Hufflepuff." He says with a slight smirk.**

**_OUR POINTS! :O_**

***Fast-forwards and pauses* Don't worry, "Lizard"! I got us some points, too!**

***Unpause***

**"Incendio." A whisper from me.**

**I stepped lightly and rather joyfully over to Snape.**

**"Um, Excuse me, Professor, but I felt it be rather important that you know. The hems of your robes, they're on fire. Aguamenti! All fixed."**

**He just stood there, sopping wet, oblivious to the fact that I turned his greasy hair blue as well as put out the fire.**

**Long story short, McGonagall gave me 25 points.**

**Last one for the day, you can keep watching it after though.**

***Rewind, rewind, pause* Here's one you can try with Young-Snape.**

***Unpause* Snape opens his door, only to find his room packed with owls, parcels, and owl droppings. After a hasty clean, he reads a postage stamp.**

**"From Olivia Brown. Warning, contents under pressure."**

**He snaps the string, only to almost drown in bottles of shampoo and conditioner.**

**The End of "A Tape: #1."**

Prongs & Padfoot- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Moony- -_-

**Also, Olivia Brown is a fake name.**

**A familiar voice says, "Mmpfh," a stifled laugh.**

**I scream, "Harry! What are you doing here? You'll never be able to go back, Hermione's Time Turner only goes one way! Rowling will never write the books, I would never have read them, and this column wouldn't exist, and then you wouldn't be here in this mess!"**

**"Lets go Imperius Dumbledore to make a backwards Time Turner!"**

**"Grr, fine."**

**I decided on some nicknames. Giraffe = Longitude and Panda = Panditude. Like Latitude and Longitude but not!**

Prongs- What on earth is she talking about?

Padfoot- Weren't you there?*shrugs* well long story short they're her nicknames.

Prongs- O.O oh…*hands her a stuffed panda and giraffe*

**'Bye Mony Mony! Bye, Padfeet! Bye, Gecko! Gotta go disrupt the universe . . . again! Hehehehehehe. . . . .**

*everyone*- O.O…

_Question 191 comes from_ **WithLoveAndWar**

**Ok so my best gay friend just turned into my best STRAIGHT friend he got himself a gf and everything all in the same day!**

Padfoot- What?*gasp*

Moony- That's terrible!

_Yeah!_

Prongs- Er…I guess…

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- -_-

**But we all know he's still gay (he checks out other guys he doesn't hide it well) I'm worried about him cuz he's pretending to be someone he's not and if we don't support his newfound straightness he doesn't want anything to do with us :( **

Padfoot- What the hell that jerk!

Moony- So he's definitely still gay?

Padfoot- Yes Moony! He still checks out guys!

Moony- Oops sorry must've not read that right…

**I love him but I also love the real him whom is gay...HELP NOW PLEASE**

Prongs- Maybe he wanted to change for the better…?

-_-…

Moony- You should try and find out WHY he changed.

Padfoot- Yeah like was he bullied for it? Did he fall in love with a straight guy and admitted defeat?

Moony- Are his parents bashing him for being gay? Does he not want the attention?

_Was he taught it was abnormal? Could he not find a man?_

Prongs- Guys that is a LOT of questions…

Padfoot- Yeah well it could be one of those so you should try and figure it out.

Prongs- Yeah and if decides that this is the change he wants support him no matter what.

Moony- Yeah it could be he was pretending to be gay in the first place.

Padfoot- Yeah…

_Hope that helped *hands you a rainbow sympathy cake*_

_Question 192 comes from_ **Ecclestein**

**What are your thoughts on the Twilight series? In my personal opinion, Edward is basically a 40-year-old soccer mom on a bad day.**

Prongs- Hah! I couldn't have put it better!

Padfoot- I guess it's a rule to hate Twilight because you ask anyone here an they'll say TWILIGHT SUUUCKS! But I thought it wasn't that bad.

Moony- I have no opinion I've seen the movies and read the books but I don't care for it

_Me neither except I do want to see the last one…_

Moony- OMIGAWD! ME TOO!

_We should go!WE SHOULD TOTALLY GO!_

Padfoot- I'll drive lol!

Prongs- OHMYGOD THEY'RE TURNING INTO TWIHARDS!

_No we're not can't a girl and two gay guys freak out about Twilight every once and a while?_

Prongs- -_- Weirdoes!

**Wait, is this an advice column? Because I don't think I've ever asked you for advice...**

_Yes this is an advice Column._

Padfoot- But it's so much more!

Prongs- Yeah that's for sure.

_Question 193 comes_ _from_ **CANLOGIN**

**grr**

**forgive my nerve-racked, sleep-lacked brain, but I forgot some things. AGAIN! So I repeat**

**GRR**

Padfoot- well I'm glad you love us so much you came back—again!

**Okay, first. That,"Apparently he wants it to be Sirius" joke? Good one, Bambi-boy!**

Prongs- Thanks! I really worked hard on that!

**Also, it could mean "Apparently he wants it to be serious." WHEEEEE!**

Prongs- Yeah it could! You're so smart!*hands you a pack of Smarties*

**"Lizard," were you spelling stuff wrong on purpose?**

Padfoot & Lizard- Um…defiene opn prupoosee

Moony- -_-

**. . . Sirius, please, never use that insult again. I'll give you anything if you promise not to say it.**

Padfoot- I have no idea what you're talking about :D

**FOUR. Nancy, Necky and Pan Pan! cuuuuuuuuuute! Oreo is a cute name too, Moony! Padfoot, maybe not Patcheye, but Eyepatch!**

Moony- ^_^ Glad you liked that

Padfoot- Hey mine were good too!

Moony- Whatever you say Pads.  
><strong><br>FiFtH! Lizard, not chili. My brother LURVES chili! The Oreo one, though. . . . . I award thee the Practical Joke Geniuses Crowns! Complete with chicken feathers, glue, and cardboard bits!**

_Uh…thanks_*hands it to Sirius* *Sirius squeals and throws it to James* *James to Remus*

Moony- -_- *back to Lizard*

_-_- Huff_

**sixty-54=6: I don't get the Alice Cooper thing. . . "Alice Cooper is NOT a man!" Explanation?**

Padfoot- Oops! I meant HE IS A MAN! Not a mom!

_Haha you mesed up!_

Padfoot- -_- *thinking she just messed up herself*  
><strong><br>SEVEN-A! (Only Monkee fans will get it) Nancy didn't get Remus' sense of humour, she must have gotten MY contagious sense of humour!  
><strong>

Prongs- I hope not

_Don't be rude!*smacks him* _

Prongs- Ow! My antlers!

**8eiou. ADIOS AMIGOS doesn't mean goodbye in spa-**

**It means goodbye in Spa-**

**999999999999999999999999. . . . .**

Padfoot- Hello?  
><strong><br>ANYWAY!**

Padfoot- Oh nevermind she's alive!

**I LOVE RAFIKI AND ED!**

Prongs- Rafiki?

_From Lion King? :D  
><em>_**  
><strong>_**AU REVOIR MES AMIS!**

Prongs- O.O this column is officially weird!

Padfoot- Shut up you're just jealous you don't have a column!

Prongs- Well maybe I'll go make my own!

_Hold on! Do you know how much time I have to put into it think about me!_

Prongs- No!

_:O_

_Question—OMGLOLSTFU! Last Q! 194 comes from_ **LadyMarauderYoung**

**Oh My Gosh Hi!**

_HI!_

Padfoot- Hey gurl!

Moony- Hi ^_^

Prongs- Hello?

Padfoot- Oh this is James he's new!

Prongs- Pads, I'm pretty sure she knows that -_-

**I haven't written in ages as this site isn't sending me any alerts so I don't know when you've updated! **

_Oh that sucks, it's okay you haven't missed much Nancy's been abducted but no biggie._

*everyone else*- -_-!

_:D Er…sorry!_

***Sob* I've missed you! Thank you for the advice last time, about the personality thing...And Sirius...I'm not Lily. Although, I do like the name Lily Evans...it's nicer than Lauren Alexandra Young...*bleurgh*.**

Padfoot-*still has suspicions*

Moony- Oh give it up already!

Prongs- Hi LILY! I LOVE YOU!

_James she's not Lily!_

Prongs- -_- Sure she isn't…

Moony & Lizard- *sigh*

**Anyway, Moony, this one is aimed at you (even though I do love you too Sirius) but I get ill (headache EVERY day for the last year and a half) and I find it difficult to concentrate when studying - any ideas?**

**Prongs- *rubs chin thoughtfully*Well obviously you're not turning into a werewolf…Hmm…**

**Moony- -_- Thank you Prongs*shooes him away* I would recommend telling a doctor Madame Pomfrey has done loads for me.**

Padfoot- Or pops some pills :D

Moony- No Siri! She could get addicted!

Prongs- Yeah dumbfart!

Padfoot- Up yours Snorlax!

_LOL :D_

**Oh, and say hi to James. He was growing on me :)**

Prongs- LILY! MY LOVE OUR CONQUEST HAS NOT YET BEGUN BUT STILL MY HEART ACHES FOR YOU AND- OW!

Moony-*smacks him again* She is NOT Lily!

Padfoot & Prongs- -_- Sure she's not…*Twilight Zone theme songs starts*

_Well bye!*hands you a stuffed Snorlax*_

_ANNDDD CUT!_

_Wooo!*sighs and stretches* Finally!_

Prongs- Hey Lizard could you please make me a colum?

_Hmm…I don't know ask the reviewers._

Prongs- *to the people reading this* If you want me to have my own column reviewsaying so!

Padfoot- Good luck -_-

Prongs- -_-

Yeah whatever IT'S OVER!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Do you think James should have his own column? Yes or No?**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Okay so uploaded this before Christmas! Yay! Thank God right? So anyways, I might go on vacation and not be able to upload but I don't know yet if I am just want to give you a warning! Also thank you to you guys that keep reviewing :D**

* * *

><p><em>Annyong ha shimnikka and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot Advice Column <em>

_First Question 195 comes from_ **kali yugah**

**hey! i think that prongs should have a trial run at having a column. **

Prongs- THANK YOU

Padfoot- No this is our column! Why are you giving him a chance?

_Because! He won't leave me alone if I don't!_

Prongs- That's right! :D

Moony- No comment

**okay then padfoot yes i love moony more because he is sexy as fuck! **

Padfoot- WHAT!

Moony- ^_^ You heard her

Padfoot- :P

**and prongs i want to know how thing are getting on with lily?**

Prongs- :(

_Ouch. Not well?_

Prongs- She hates me…

Padfoot- She doesn't hate you she loves you mate.

Prongs- How so?

Padfoot- Well she's always complaining about ya so obviously you're always on her mind.

Moony- That's true. She always talks about you in Muggle Studies.

Padfoot- You're Half-blood why do you take that class?

Prongs- Really? What does she say?

Moony- Shut up Pads, it's an easy A. And I'd rather not repeat what she says.

_Oh that can't be good._

Prongs- -_-  
><strong><br>p.s prongs her fave songs are: can you feel the love tonight by Elton john and come what may by Ewan McGregor (drools) and Nicole Kidman**

Prongs- Yes! Paddie are you available tonight around 11:00 pm?

Padfoot- Yes :)

Moony- I sense trouble…

Prongs- Alright bring a Muggle stereo and an Elton John CD.

Moony- James I don't think Lily will-

Prongs- Hush! She will like it!

Moony- -_- I warned you! Don't say I didn't warn you!

_Question 196 comes from_ **RemmyBlack**

***Spaceship is shown, smoke and lights appear with rock n roll music playing(instrumental), Remmy appears wearing a figure-hugging cheeta print shirt with figure-hugging black pants and black running shoes. And midnight black billowy cape, hugging the alien plushie* **

Prongs & Lizard & (especially) Moony- o_O!

Padfoot- *in awe* COOL!

**I shall make myself...a FORT! ! And anyone who tries to destory or came in my fort will be attacked by alive sheets! ! *slides down fort slid* So guys...and girls...RANDOM AXE OF KINDNESS!...AXE OF KINDNESS GET YOUR NEAR HEAR!...Oh well, I shall deal with the axe later.**

Prongs-*whispers to Moony*someone forgot their medication.

Moony- -_- Shut up James...

**So...*jumping on fort tramplione with cape billowing everywhere* I can see why villains where these capes...now...For my quest-aww there's a 2 month old baby *huggles baby* Hello, wittle one, coochie coochie coo *tickles baby then covers my eyes* where am I? Here I am *uncovers eye* coochie coochie coo *tickles baby who giggles* Aww, that is so cute!...There's a letter? *opens and reads letter* THIS BABY WAS ABONDANDED CAUSE S/HE CRIED A LOT! Oh, no they were too demanding, let's just forget that babies ALWAYS crie alot! Don't worry, little one, I will look after you! *goes back to tickling baby* coochie coochie coo**

**Random minion: How have you managed to take over A-**

**Me: SHUSH! YOU ARE FIRED! Actually, no you are not. You make faboulous yet practical designs... :) :) *cuddles baby***

*everyone- O.O!*

**Back to the question, James SHOULD NOT have his own column. The only reason I like this one is because Moony's here. **

*everyone glares at Remus*

Moony- *nervous laugh* Heh heh.

**NO ONE ELSE SHALL HAVE A COLUMN! Except me cause I'm awesome :) **

**Now questions for you...Lizard, can you give me more extra-terrestrial plushies? **

_Err..sure as long as its not illegal…*hands you more plushies*_

**Also, here *gives you photos of me and some extra-terrestrials* I met extra-terrestrials! **

*everyone- O.O!*

**They asked not to be called 'aliens' because the word makes them feel like they have no remorse...And Moony, I am insulted! I'm YOUR fangirl.**

Moony- I didn't say anything! *laughs nervously*

Padfoot- Haha :D

Moony- Shut up mutt!

**Well, sort of. I really don't like how you guys treat Snape :( YOU ARE THE REASON HE HAD TO DIE! YOU BASTARDS! I HATE YOU GUYS FOR THAT**

Padfoot & Prongs- :O!

Moony & Lizard- O.O!

**:( AND YOU BETTER BE NICE TO HOUSE-ELVES! AND YES, SIRIUS, THAT INCLUDES KREATURE CAUSE ONE DAY THEY WILL RULE THE WORLD! AND YOU WILL REGRET IT CAUSE YOU WILL BE THEIR SLAVES! AND ANIMALS WILL RULE THE WORLD AS WELL! AND ANYONE WHO HAS MESSED WITH THEM WILL PAY!**

Padfoot- Me? O_o!

Moony- Yeah you be nice to house elves!

**Random Minion: Remmy? Your time is running out here.**

**Me: Thanks M, now Siri, why do you hate Snape so much? And the answer better NOT be 'cause he exits, is evil' or similar to those. **

Padfoot- Well….because he is standing in the way of my best mate's true love and it saddens me :(

Prongs- YEAH!

Moony- No comment.

**And what do you I think should name this cute baby girl? **

Padfoot- Nancy?

Moony- You poor dad you miss your daughter don't you?

Padfoot- :(

Prongs- Harriet?

_Lol What?_

**Now, since I am a busy woman, I must leave for tea with the lovely dragons. Farewell, we shall meet again soon! *wraps cloak around me, making sure the baby is secure and not hurt and disappears***

Prongs- O.O

Moony- O-O

Padfoot- O_o

_Uhh…_

_Question 197 comes from _**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Me: Well, from what it seems, Lizard's really busy. It would be cool to have a Prong's Advice Column, but if she's too busy, it's ok.  
><strong>

_Aww so nice of you to think of me :D_

Prongs- And me!

_Get out of here -_-_

Prongs- :D

**Albus: Now then: Albus Severus Potter would like to set things straight about his second namesake. Snape and his undercover work was instrumental in the defeat of Voldemort. So HAH.**

_HAH is right! In your faces! *victory dance*_

Padfoot & Prongs- -_-

Moony- You guys had this coming…

Prongs- Get out of here Moony -_-

Moony- ^_^

**Me: Although even if he was brave and honorable and all that, we can all agree in saying that he was still a bit of a git, right?**

Prongs & Padfoot- Right! :D

Moony & Lizard- -_-

**Albus: Right. See? We retain some sense.**

**Me: And come on! The Slytherin girls in my year aren't that bad... and the guys are only terrible because of Goyle. If I did some prank/spy work, I bet I could get rid of Goyle and get all Slytherins to be decent. I think we should leave the prank part up to you guys... how to make him do something to get him expelled, and then find proof of it?**

Prongs & Padfoot- DESTROY THE RAVENCLAW COMMON ROOM AND PUT SLYTHERIN STUFF ALLL OVER AND LEAD THE MESS TO GOYLE!

Prongs & Padfoot- HEY THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

Moony- -_-

Prongs- Oh Pads, you complete me :D

Padfoot- Oh Jamesy, I feel the same way!

*they hug*

_Okay as long as it's not the Hufflepuffs_

Prongs- Okay :D

Padfoot- I have a bunch of ex's in Ravenclaw I wanna get back at anyway.

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- Oh *chuckles* didn't see you there Moons. You're the only woman for me you know that right?

Moony- _MAN_ Sirius, I am a MAN!

Padfoot- Rrriight.

Moony- -_-

**Albus: Reassuring time! xD Don't worry, Prongs... uh, granddad. I'm still straight...**

Prongs- Bless the Lord!

Padfoot & Lizard & Moony- -_-

Prongs- Eh…not that being gay is a BAD thing heh heh

**Me: But I think Lily's bisexual.**

Prongs- Eh?  
><strong><br>Albus: ... That makes a lot of sense.**

Prongs- *eye twitches* I don't wanna know…  
><strong><br>Me: Yup. And James finally asked out that Ravenclaw boy... but the other one was straight.**

**Albus: And now James is depressed. Seriously depressed. We have to Protego him from himself depressed, it's that bad. So... that's our second question: how do we console him?**

Padfoot- Get him a new man! Duh!

Moony- Chocolate always helps me ^_^

Prongs- Get him a Lily!

**Me: Kay that's it! SAVE NANCY! TELL US WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SHRIEKING SHACK!**

Padfoot-*shift eyes* Uh things…happened.

Prongs- Yeah…things.

Moony- Sorry Snape said not to tell anyone.

_Aww why?_

**Albus: Bye!**

*everyone*- BYE!

**Me: PS No presents for this one... Except... well, ok. Here's some leftover Thanksgiving turkey. It's actually better when it's leftover... anyway... PADFOOT DON'T EAT IT ALL! THE TURKEY'S BEEN CURSED SO THAT IF YOU EAT MORE THAN 1/2 OF IT, YOU'LL HAVE PIMPLES BREAK OUT ON YOUR FOREHEAD THAT SPELLS "HOG". CLEAR? CLEAR. Alright, bye!** :)

Prongs-*ravages the turkey*

Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- O.O!

Prongs- What I like turkey…

_Question 198 comes from _**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Hey**

Padfoot- 'Sup!

Prongs- Hey

Moony- ^-^ Hi!

_YO.  
><em>  
><strong>Thanks for the tips. I got my e-mail alerts back! Yay! <strong>

*everyone*- YAY!

**Siriusly guys (pun intended) I really think you should get your head checked...I'M NOT LILY!**

Prongs- Suuure and I'm not James…

Moony- Please let this go…

Padfoot- No! Only when she admits!

**It's like that time I was trying to explain to Xhesi what...actually, youknow what, never mind! *blushes* **

Prongs-*narrows eyes suspiciously*

**Oh, I think James should share this column now and again. He'd just go on about Lily (not me) in his!**

Prongs- How did you know I would go on about you?

Padfoot- OMG! Lily!

Moony- How can she _not_ know? -_-

**Oh and...Nancy...yeah, I'm not sure what to say on that situation. Hope she get's found?**

Padfoot- Thank you ^_^

**I saw you were discussing Twilight...ew. **

Padfoot- You got that right

**If I had to pick, I'm team Jasper 'coz he's like a walking chill pill! Plus his hair is like...wo! Okay, I'm gonna go now and wait excitedly for your next post! Bye Guys!**

Padfoot- Team Edward!

Moony- Bye and Team Jacob!

Prongs- -_-…bye.

_Bye!_

_199 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Hi! Padfoot, you are not fat! *hugs Padfoot* **

Padfoot- Awww thank you!

**:D Did really like bottoming? **

Padfoot- -_-

Moony- :D

**Um, Lizard, did you forget your pills today?**

_Nooo…did I? _

**O.o Prongs, if you were to do the advice column with Lily and Lizard won't wear herself out, I'm all for it! **

Prongs- Fine I promise not to make Lizard wear herself out

_-_- That's what they all say!_

Prongs & Padfoot & Moony- :D *smile innocently*

**Also, stop acting so Homophobic.**

Prongs- I'm not!

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- -_-

**OH! I have a plan for those pesky Twins. I'll just pretend it doesn't bother me that they're kidnapping my stuff (even though it really is) and they'll just get bored. **

Moony- I agree with that solution.

**Hey can I get a Prongsies Subscription. **

Prongs- Yes yes you can *hands her one*

***Hits Padfoot with a rolled up newspaper* *whispers to Moony* is Sirius having his time of the month?**

Padfoot- Ow! My poor head!

**Siri, What did I say about stealing kisses? ! Huh? ! Huh? ! **

Padfoot- O.O *pouts*

**PRESENTS! :D Padfoot, some pain potion for your bottom.**

*everyone besides Padfoot snicker*****

Padfoot- -_- Har Har! Laugh it up!

**Moony, my recipe for my Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownies.**

Moony- ^_^

**Prongs, Chicken Soup for the Soul. **

Prongs- Er…*opens it and begins reading*Oh! :D

**Lizard, some earphones.**

_Well it's about time :D _

**Nancy, a welcome back cake.**

Padfoot- I'm going to hide this so Prongs here doesn't get any ideas…

Prongs- Whatever *rolls eyes* *secretly plans to eat it later*

**For ALL OF YOU! A large box of my Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownies! **

*everyone*- Hooray!  
><strong><br>Hugs and kisses all around!**

**Love,**

**Phoenix**

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 200 (OMG 200!) comes from_ **imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**So, as you know, halloween has passed... So of course you're wondering who I went as... I was a possessed doll and scared my brother.  
><strong>

Padfoot- Nice!

Prongs- That sounds cool

Moony- Better than being Prongs

Prongs- Hey!

_:D Haha!_

**And, yes James, I do have a Lily... Except mine actually likes me XD (oh, buuuuurn!)**

Prongs- -_- You're cruel

Padfoot- Oh she got you!

Moony- She BURNED you!

Padfoot- Haha good one Moons!

Prongs- You guys are lame -_-

**I'm sorry, that was mean... :( FORGIVE ME, OH GREAT NEAR-SIGHTED QUIDDITCH PLAYER OF LEGEND!**

Prongs- HAH! That's what I thought!

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- You still got burned.

Prongs- SHUT UP!

Padfoot- O.O Okay geez (lol)

_Question 201 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Blaine: *walking back to Dalton***

**Random person walks behind Blaine. Suddenly hits Blaine's head.**

Padfoot- NOOO! WHY BLAINE!

Prongs- -_- I feel like I'm watching a soap opera!

*everyone*- shushes him

Prongs- O.O

**Blaine: *pass out***

**Random stranger: *chuckle* You have no where else run from the dark lord now. *drags Blaine body into the drakness***

**Me: Hey has anybody seen Blaine?**

Padfoot- Yes! He was KIDNAPPED!

Moony- Shush Padfoot they can't hear you!

Padfoot- :(

**Kurt: No he told me that he's coming back from the store from getting red vines.**

**Me: When Blaine gets something he would just come back into Dalton as quickly as possible.**

**Wevid: Wait Blaine's not back yet?**

**Me & Kurt: *sigh* yes guys.**

**Suddenly owl taps on Klaine Lover's window.**

**Me: That's weird an owl outside my window what does it want. *opens window***

**Owl flies in stick out leg to show him a nit stuck onto it's leg.**

**Me: *untie string* *reads note* O.O what the hell Blaine have been kidnap by a death eater. I thought they're all dead.**

**Wevid & Kurt: WHAT?**

**Me: *pass note to Wes* OMG OMG WHAT SHOULD WE DO? *phase around room then sit on the bed***

Padfoot- KILL THE DEATH EATER!

**Kurt: *sits beside Klaine Lover* Klaine Lover don't worry Blaine will be okay.**

**Me: *cries* Blaine will not be okay they're Death Eater they can kill Blaine cause he us a normal human he's not a wizard.**

**Kurt: Get a hold of yourself remember Blaine will have courage. My poor sub.**

**Me: Wait Blaine's bottom?**

**Kurt: Yes.**

*everyone*- SAY WHAT? O.O

**Wevid: Okay we are going to laugh at Blaine once he is found.**

**Me: *phones rings* *picks up phone***

**Death Eater: We have your cousin hostage. We want something that he have that will give that give the Dark Lord the power he needs to kills Harry Potter.**

**Me: *narrows eyes* Why would I do that just to kill somebody. That's stupid.**

**Death Eater: I'll kill him if you don't.**

**Me: No don't kill him! What is it that you need?**

**Death Eater: His birth stone. A necklace that have his birth stone. I'll give you a week to give it to me.**

**Blaine: Klaine Lover no don't give it to him. *Death Eater hangs up Blaine Blackberry***

**Me: Blaine! *turn to Padfoot, Moony, Prongs and Lizard***

**What should I do? If I give Blaine necklace birth stone to the Death Eater he would kill you son Prongs. If I don't he'll**

**kill Blaine or worse send him to Vorldermort so thathe will do somerving bad to him. Guys what should I do? *starts crying***

Prongs- Don''t give him anything!

Padfoot- Yeah I'd rather die than betray my friends!

Moony- Aww Paddie.

**Kurt & Wevid: Klaine Lover listen to yourself you use to**

**have a courage mask on your face now it's broken because of your cousin. Listen to your heart and think about it. It's a 50-50 chance that people will die. Anyway what is Blaine birth stone?**

**Me: *walks to drawer and takes out two emerald stone necklaces* My and Blaine's birth stone is emerald with a powerful magic that is able to kill Harry Potter that's why we don't wear it except for family get together and on our birthday. Knowing that we can kill anyone who endanger us that's why we don't wear it.**

**Kurt: Whose one have more power?**

**Me: Mine. If it's stuck together then it'll be the mist powerful stone in the world that's why we don't tell anyone not even you guys once Blaine comes back we'll explain everything. *turn towards Padfoot, Moony, Prongs and Lizard***

**Me: So your iPhone exploded Padfoot here *pass Padfoot new iPhone with a charm that the iPhone won't explode and break*'**

Padfoot- Yay!

**Lizard *hands her earpiece* **

_Oh Yeaaah!_

**Moony *1 year supply if chocolate an sugar quills***

Moony- Yum thank you!

**Prongs *gives him iPone and lilies flower and starts crying* **

Prongs- Oh...sorry didn't mean to make you cry...

**sorry they are Blaine's favourite flowers. Nancy's been kidnap by the same Death Eater as Blaine how I know. I heard her voice when Blaine is shouting at me. I'm sorry that Nancy have been kidnapped with Blaine but they're not hurt. I really need a hug right now.**

**Kurt & Wevid: *hugs Klaine Lover* you guys can join in too.**

*everyone joins in*

**Me: *hugs back* I'm sorry Padfoot. I knew this day would come**

**Me: *saying I'm sorry over and over again***

**Kurt: *hits Klaine Lover that it knock her out* sorry Klaine Lover can't say bye now cause she needs to rest. So bye hope that we can figure out something to bring Nancy and Blaine back home. Klaine Lover say that she'll sing a Chinese song one day by her favourite band**

**五月天****go use google translate for that.**

_*goes* *comes back* Mayday?_

**Wevid: So what are we going to tell teacher about Blaine's absence?**

**Kurt: Say that he's sick and need to rest for a week.**

**Wevid: We'll get Blaine and Nancy home in a few days. Don't worry too much.**

**Kurt: *nods* Bye.**

Padfoot- Good luck!

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 202 comes from _**Gryffindor Queen**

**Hey, it's Alexia again. So I told George (the annoying James character of my life, yes this is an insult sorry James)**

Prongs- That's messed up :(

**how I feel and he's gone completely mental! There are flowers piling up in my room, cards everywhere with poems and sonnets, painted pottery, stuffed animals, and other "tokens of his love". **

Prongs- Wow and I do that even when Lily _doesn't_ like me…

**I'm running out of space and patience. I've already told him that these gifts are too much but they keep coming. Really this question is directed at Lily and Remus, not James since he'll just say that I should love George for his dedication. **

Prongs- Which is true!

Moony- Shut up James -_-

**Should I break up with him this early in the relationship and find myself a Snape or stick it out until he calms down? No offence James I know it seems like I'm ragging on you but I'm not. You're still ace in my book, you too Sirius. (Hugs both fiercely before sitting back and waiting for an answer) **

Padfoot- Ow your hugs are fierce!

Moony- Hold on I'll go get Lily!*leaves*

*5 minutes later*

Lily- Hello…

Prongs- Lily my lo—

Moony- Shut up James!

Prongs- :( Okay okay I'll be over here if anyone wants me…

Moony- Okay so what should she do?

Lily- Honestly I'm waiting until James grows out of his childish behavior and acts…a least close to normal. Maybe you should wait him out tell him you don't need things to be happy with him and if it doesn't change then wait it out.

Moony- Wow that was actually good—

Lily- Oh and don't get a Snape because he might like you and you don't want to start that whole love triangle nonsense.

Moony- -_- (Oh nice cut me off)

Lily- What?

Moony- Nothing! Heh heh :D

Lily- Okay…well I have to go…bye!*leaves*

Prongs- BYE LILY!

**Also how's the relationship going Remus and Sirius, still going strong?**

Moony- Yes

Padfoot- Yup all's good in Puppytown.

Prongs- What does that even mean?

Padfoot- Shut up!

Prongs- You shut up!

Padfoot- You shut up!

Prongs- No you!

Padfoot- You!

Moony- *in the harshest voice*BOTH of you! **SHUT. UP.**

Padfoot & Prongs- O.O *actually scared* Okay!

_Anyways. Good luck with George! Bye!_

_Question 203 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**Potter! I have a surprise for you! -pushes through Lily!**

Prongs- Lily?

Padfoot- Great she came back…-_-

**Lily: Hello James. I was, uh, wondering if, well, you wanted to go to hogsmeade with me? **

Prongs- AHHHHH! *faints* *revives* OF COURSE!

Padfoot-*kinda suspicious*

Moony- *also suspicious*

*dumbfounded* :D

**Me: -mouths- She loves you! -pushes them into another room- **

Prongs- Whoa!

Lily- Hey wait!

**Kay so, my my best friend got a girlfriend and I'm really jealous... I think I like my best friend... What do I do?**

Padfoot- Um…is your best friend a guy?

Moony- Does it matter Sirius?

Padfoot- No just wanna see what you're up against is all.

Moony- Well I'm sure we've all been through this all you can really do is watch them (maybe try to seduce them) and then blurt it out when your friend notices something's wrong since you keep acting "jealous" around the certain girlfriend. Then you have to hope they actually like you back and they'll break up with their "evil" girlfriend and go with you.

Padfoot- Hmm…this sounds familiar…

Moony- -_- Ya think?

_Yeah and if all else fails *sympathy cake*?_

_Question 204 comes from _**CANLOGIN**

**YES**

**HE SHOULD**

Prongs-*comes back* See? Everybody wants one!

Padfoot- Except Remmy Black

Prongs- -_- Yes except her…

_Well if you really think he should I'll see what I can do…_

Prongs- Yay!

_Question 205 comes from _**Doku**

**I think I'm switching over to Padfoot. **

Padfoot- Oh yeah!

Moony- :/

**W Sorry Moony. But I'm all for team Snape. **

Padfoot & Prongs- WHAT?

_Oh yeah!_

Padfoot & Prongs- -_-

**Stop picking on him! It's mean. And Moony you still owe me your number when you get a phone.**

Padfoot- We'll try

Prongs- Yeah can't promise anything!

Moony- Okay but I'm not sure my dad will let me…he's kinda an anti-technology person :P

_Question 206 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

**Even if i reviewed before.**

I** will tell about my and Blaine's past later.**

**I will not where is Blaine and Nancy sorry can't tell.**

*everyone*- Awww!

***Wears the bracelet eyes colour turn red* *smirk* So James being homophobic hm? What do I do to homophobics hmm I wonder? Oh I remember I kill them. *smirk***

Prongs- W-wait a moment! O.O!

**Kurt: No! *takes out bracelet from Klaine Lover wrist* Never I repeat NEVER give Klaine Lover a bracelet with the nickname Blood on it. It will make Klaine Lover go mad and kill all the homophobic in around 10 foot radius.**

***blinks* Eh what happen? Oh James be homophobic to Blaine, Kurt, Wes and David. I will kill you *looks into James eyes with red eyes then smirk that make anyone piss in their pants* *eyes colour turns back to dark brown almost black colour***

_I think she's serious James_

Padfoot- But I'm Sirius…

_Shut up :P_

Padfoot- :D

Prongs- I wasn't actually trying to be homophobic I mean my best friends are together!  
><strong><br>So James think about it. Gay couples don't have the right to kiss in the public like straight couples. Lots of people who are being bullied(for being gay/lesbian) either take their own life, self-harm, drug use, think about death or change their character completely like trying to be straight, become a bad ass etc etc.  
><strong>

Prongs- Padfoot…

Padfoot- What? Me?

Moony- Yes you.

**So WithLoveAndWar ask your friend why is he trying so hard to be straight when you know that it isn't going to work. Give him courage to say that he is proud of himself. **

Padfoot- Yeah James!

Prongs- Eh?

**Chris Colfer is an inspiration to those who are gay/lesbian/in the closet people. That's why I love him even though he is gay.**

Padfoot- Yeah James!

Prongs- I'm not gay you mutt! But I do understand I shouldn't be hating on you guys.

**Thanks for listening to me rant.**

Moony- You're welcome. ^_^

_It was a good rant :D_

_Question 207 comes from _**Viper's little Devil**

**From: Nancy Black**

**Daddy! I need your help. I'm scared. Please help me. He's going to hurt me! Please!**

Padfoot- :( Don't worry Nancy! I'll help you soon!

Moony- Hang in there!

Prongs- Show that Gryffindor courage!

_Hopefully he'll give her back soon…_

_Question 208 comes from _**itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Hi**

Padfoot- Hellllllooooo!

Moony- Hi :D

_Heya! _

Prongs-*nods*

**First with the list..great minds think a like i have a problum.I had a fight with two of my friends and it was a very big fight.**

Prongs- Ohh those are the worst kinds!

**Thing is though according to everyone it's thier fault cause I just stood there while they were saying some very bad things and cursing me.**

Moony- That's terrible!

Padfoot- Yeah you should have fought back!

Prongs- Yeah fight back you coward-FIGHT BACK!

_(Lol HP movie reference)_

**I was stuck with Madam Pomfrey for 2 what do I do?I cant curse them cause they were my friends for a very long time but now even though the fights over they keep being rude to me and tripping me over which hurts because im clumbsy already.**

Padfoot- Well cursing them is off the list…

Prongs- Killing them probably isn't an option either…

Moony- -_- Idiots…just apologize make amends nothing is worse than leaving it like that if it was your fault then you must fix it by saying sorry.

_Yeah and give them a sympathy cake if you can!_

Moony- -_- Yeah that too.

**On a happier note it's nearly Christmas Yay...okay i just cant be super happy until I know im not going to be cursed everytime I leave the common room. So please help also Prongs and Lily's help would be appriated.**

Padfoot- Okay we'll try to protect you from curses the best we can!

Prongs- We're on it!

**Bye  
><strong>

*everyone*- Bye!

**P.S Thanks for cheering me up the other day Moony.I was the girl you and cheered up in the common room the other really helped and see I told you I was short.  
><strong>

Moony- Oh that was you? Well you're welcome ^_^and you're only as big as you feel.

Padfoot & Prongs & Lizard- Heh heh

Moony-*sighs* Oh grow up!

**P.P.S See how mean they are they took pictures and left them in my bed**

***Pictures of girl being cursed fall out***

**P.P.P.S If you cant find a way to make them stop can you just say you got a puppy and Ill hang around you in my animangas form**

*Padfoot- Huh that would also be a good idea…

Moony- -_-

Prongs- I always wanted a puppy…  
><strong><br>*teary hug***

**Bye again**

Padfoot- Adios!

_Bye good luck!_

Prongs- Bye!

Moony- Farewell!

_Last Question 209 comes from _**randomchick**

**My date canceled on me! –randomchick**

Moony- You should probably call him or her and ask why he or she cancelled on you.

Padfoot- Go to his house ding-dong ditch and leave a bag of dog poo on the front step and light it on fire!

Moony- =_=… God please don't—WAIT A MINUTE!

Padfoot- What?

Moony- Haven't we done this before…?

Prongs- What are you looking at me for?

Moony- I'm not I'm thinking…

Padfoot- Oh yeah…

_:D *knows the answer*_

Moony- Well I don't know…so yeah please don't do that.

Prongs- It would be funny though :D

Moony- Don't!

Padfoot- Oh Moony so sensible :)

Moony- -_-

_Anyways thank you for reviewing!_

ANNNDD CUT!

_Yay we done! _

Prongs- So do I get my own Advice Column? _DO I?_

_Uh no…well I've decided to give you your own chance to do it so next time people review you will answer the questions by yourself _

Prongs- Really? :D

_Yeah I don't know if I'll give you a partner we'll see :D*evil smile*_

Prongs- *completely oblivious to the look* Yay!

Padfoot- Good luck mate!

Moony- Yeah good luck ^_^

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Just to make it clear to you all James's is having a shot at the Advice Column so next time I do this James's will be answering your questions! Review please!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thank you for being ever so patient :D **

**And next chapter will comes faster WAY faster than this one promise! Also the puppies are back in the next one!**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcomes to another-<em>

Prongs-*clears throat*

_I mean the first ever Prong's Advice Column -_-_

Prongs- :D

_Question 210 comes _**kali yugah**

**things arnt going well with lilly then, james can you please bring her up here please there something i want to tell her and for the love of moony please dont interupt.**

Prongs- What do you want to tell her? How terrible I am!

_-_- Just bring her _

Prongs- Fine *leaves*

*5 minutes later*

Lily- Why am I here? -_- *suspicious*

Prongs- Kali wants to talk to you

**hey lilly i'm kali yugah and i would like to tell you that i know what its like to have a james following you around but the difference between my james and your james is the fact that james here truely madly and deeply loves you. **

Lily- I find that hard to believe…

Prongs- Hey!

**here i want you to watch this *puts video in to the player***

**(padfoot) hey prongs look about lilly its obvious hat she doesn't like you as you do her ... ... hey mate you alright?**

**(prongs) yeah i ... no i'm not pads *tears start falling down* i love her soo much and i cant do anything right by her all i ever do makes her hate me even more.**

Lily- Were you crying?

Prongs- N-no!*blushes*

_:D Denial!  
><em>**  
>Look into my eyes, you will see<strong>

**You will see, what you mean to me**

**Search your heart , search your soul**

**And when you find me there, you'll search no more**

**Don't tell me it's not worth trying for**

**You can't tell me it's not worth dying for**

**You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you**

**Look into your heart , you will find**

**There's nothing there to hide**

**so, take me as I am, take my life**

**I would give it all, I would sacrifice**

**Don't tell me it's not worth fightin for**

**I can't help it, There's nothin I want more**

**You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you**

**Ohhhh**

**There's no love, like your love**

**And no other, could give more love**

**There's nowhere, unless you're there**

**All the time, all the way**

**Look into your heart, babe.**

**Ohh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin for**  
><strong>I can't help it, there's nothin I want more...<strong>

**Yea, I'd fight for you, I'd lie for you**

**Walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you...**

**You know it's true**

**Everything i do, oh, i do it for you**

**Everythin i do, darling**

**And we'll see it through**

**Oh we'll see it through**

**Oh yeah**

**Yeah!**

**You know it's true**

**Everything i do, i do it for you**

***video stops***  
><strong>Lilly this is a man who would die just to protect you a man that is hopelessly devoted to you i'll say nothing more and leave the thinking you to you darling.<strong>

Lily- Um…I'll think about it…

Prongs- YAAAAY!

Lily- So…uh—I should probably go…

_No stay I mean it'll get lonely with just me and James!_

Lily- Well….ummm…okay.

Prongs- YAY *still cheering*

_SIT DOWN!_

Prongs- Yes ma'am.

_Question 211 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**Hi!**

Prongs- Hello!

Lily- Hi

_Sup!_

**How are you? Have a wonderful Christmas? **

_Yes yes I did_

Prongs- Yeah it was nice.

Lily- Splendid.

**Is there anything besides Lily, Quiditch, and pranks, that you're interested?**

Prongs- Yeah um…Lily's…oh um…I don't know…

**Oh, remember my Twin Problem? Well, my plan worked! YAY! **

Prongs- Oh yay!

Lily- What plan?

Prongs- Oh no just this thing…stuff…

Lily- Hmm…*still suspicious*

**Well, I've gotta get back to baking Christmas cookies, fudge, and Gingerbread Houses! **

_Ooh can I have some?_

**Here's some Christmas cookies, fudge, gingerbread men and a huge gingerbread house!**

_Oh yeaaah!_

Prongs & Lily- O.O?

**I have charmed them so that you all can't hog them! If you do, you turn into a puppy for a week! **

_Oh…*puts the cookies down*_

**CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! James, I got you a everlasting Sneakoscope!**

Prongs- Yay! My other one was broken it kept turning on when I talked with Peter.

_O.O…Yeah…broken…_

**It'll never get worn out or break!**

Prongs- How reliable :)

**Remus, a tin of fudge and a box of assorted Honeydukes chocolate!**

Prongs- Uh Remus isn't hear so rightfully these belong to**-**

Lily- -_-

Prongs-*sighs in defeat* Fine. I'll make sure to give them to him**. **

**Sirius, a box of "toys". **

_Hey since Sirius isn't here right now this rightfully belongs to-_

Lily- -_-

_-_-…*puts it back*_

**Lizard, a Build-A-Bear!**

_:D For me?_

Prongs- Duh

**Nancy, a big hug and necklace! **

_I really hope they find Nancy…_

Prongs- Yeah Sirius seems pretty worried.

Lily- Well since she's not here now this rightfully be—

Prongs and Lizard- -_-

Lily- Okay okay I get it!

**Lily, a pair of earrings! I know its just James there, but I didn;t know how else to give you all your treats and presents!  
><strong>

Lily- Actually I'm right here so I'll just be taking that :D

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

Everyone- HAPPY CHRISTMAS!  
><strong><br>Many hugs and kisses,**

Phoenix, Anne, and Harry

_Question 212 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**You guys are so lucky that you have magic powers and shite... I am merely a mere muggle who has to rely on stupid technocrap. **

**Prongs- Awww poor poor Muggle…**

**Lily- That isn't helping her feelings Potter -_-**

**Prongs- I know but I pity her.**

**the reason I tell you this is because my beautiful precious iPhone killed itself... yes, killed itself. It mad a suicide leap from my hands down two flights of stairs while I was reading this last night.**

_Ohmygod…how horrible. _

Prongs- Why didn't you take it to a hospital? And what's an IPod?

Lily- An IPod is this future gadget it allows Muggles to get pictures, videos, and music.

Prongs- Like those Muggles computers Remus has?

_Yeah but it's smaller and comes in a variety of colors. I don't have one. It'd cost me an arm and a leg!_

Prongs- You have to pay in body parts?

_It's an expression -_-_

**So I am rightfully blaming Severus Snape. Because I can't blame Moony or Padfoot since their sexy love is my life blood. **

Everyone- O.O!

**And I can't blame Prongs because I worship his scrawny little heart (bless him)**

Prongs- Aww thank you

Lily- Don't get carried away -_-

**and I can't blame Lizard because she may try to stop me from reviewing and withhold sympathy cake from me **

_Damn straight :D Just kidding! *hands you sympathy cake*_

**and I can't blame Lily because then Prongs would not let me worship him anymore, and that would make me very sad... **

Lily-Uh…sure let's go with that…

**Plus, when it comes down to it, everything is Snape's fault.**

Lily & Lizard- HEY!

Prongs- True DAT!

**IT REALLY IS! I am NOT being biased. If Snape had never called James' future wifey a YOU KNOW WHAT, then they would still be friends and James' future sprog would not be born and HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED wouldn't have tried to kill him and (MOONY, PADFOOT, PRONGS... IGNORE THIS PART UNTIL I TELL YOU THAT IT's SAFE)**

Prongs- Fine…*leaves*

Lily- Can I stay? :D*hopeful smile*

_No. _

Lily- -_- *leaves*

**Lily and James would not be dead, Sirius would not be in Azkaban, Peter would probably not be an evil douche, and Remus wouldn't have to be alone OR marry Tonks and Sirius would not meet his untimely and slightly pathetic death by curtain. (IT IS SAFE NOW)**

_O.O_

Prongs- What'd she say?

_Stuff…things…_

**and that is why everything is Snape's fault.**

Prongs- I missed almost half of that explanation but agree with you completely :D

Lily & Lizard- -_-

_Question 213 comes from _**LadyMarauderYoung **

**Hi...**

Prongs- Hello!

Lily- Hi :)

_Hey.  
><em>**  
>SIRIUS BLACK I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU SAID TEAM EDWARD! I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU! HOW CAN YOU LIKE HIM? HE STALKS BELLA! WATCHES HER SLEEP! *Hyperventilates*<strong>

Prongs- Heh Sirius should be grateful he isn't here

Lily- I like Team Edward too…

_Shh don't tell her!_

**I still love you. Remus has his head screwed on right...Jacob is better. **

Lily- Jacob is a whiny kid who keeps clinging to Bella -_-

Prongs- Hey now ladies…

Lily- -_-

**It's obvious James would talk about Lily in his column...it's all he ever does. **

Prongs- Hey! I'm right here :(

Lily- It's true though you're annoying and obsessive.

Prongs- Nu uh

Lily- Yeah huh

Prongs- I'm not doing it right now!

Lily- No because you're buddies aren't here and I am!

Prongs- *owned*

_Aww a lover's quarrel…_

Lily- We are NOT lovers!

Prongs- But we could be right?

Lily- -_- I don't know….

Prongs- Yeah! She said maybe!

Lily- NO! I said—never mind…

**I'm going to make this short because I'm currently ill with the flu (I feel bloody awful) but I wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a great time!  
><strong>

Prongs- A little late there

_Yeah yeah I know I know!_

Prongs- Merry Christmas to you too, hope you get well soon.

Lily- Best of luck

**Lauren xx**

_Question 214 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

Prongs- Oh Lily you like GLEE right?

Lily- Potter that is such an understatement!

Prongs- O.o?

Lily- I BLOODY LOVE IT!

Prongs-O.O…It's okay I'm still going to marry you despite your fangirl spasms…

Lily- Shut up :P

**Blaine: Huh. Where am I?**

**Nancy: About time you woke up.**

**Blaine: Wha? Nancy what are you doing here?**

**Nancy: We've been kidnapped by a Death Eater.**

**Blaine: What! How? All I remember I have been knock out by somebody.**

**Nancy: That's how you got kidnapped.**

**Death Eater: *walks into room* Oh finally awake pretty boy.**

**Nancy: YOU SICK BASTARD ONLY KURT IS ALLOWED TO CALL HIM THAT!**

Lily-YEAH!

_Sh! Lily!_

Lily- *blushes* Sorry…

**Death Eater: Shut up!**

**Blaine: What do you want from me and my cousin anyway? I know you want my and her birthstone but there is a real reason behind all this kidnapping besides the birthstone.**

**Death Eater: To tell you the truth I have been stalking you too and you are like so beautiful. I killed all your bullies in the cursed old school of yours.**

**Blaine: What so the news about 5-6 football boys from Westerville High died and all of them are my bullies before I transferred to Dalton?**

Lily- Hey what episode is this?

Prongs- Um love it's not an episode it's actually happening..

Lily- OHMYGOD! We HAVE TO SAVE BLAINE!

Prongs & Lizard- -_-

**Death Eater: Why yes pretty thing. But you fell in love with another person. Your boyfriend. I want to let him know that you're mine so I kidnapped you.**

**Blaine: Stay away from me you're psychopathic killer. You're just a killer and I don't even know you.**

**Death Eater: We have a few weeks to get to know each other. After all your cousin is going to bring the birthstone.**

**Blaine: How can you be so confident? What are you planning to do to me?**

**Death Eater: Oh don't worry I won't hurt you. *drags Blaine into room and pushes Blaine onto the bed and crawled on top of him* I'll make you feel good even better than that boyfriend of yours.**

**Blaine: No please don't. I don't want this. Stop please.**

**Death Eater: Hearing you beg just makes me want you more.**

**Blaine: Please stop.**

**~Not to let those homophobic see here are pictures of cute cats and dogs :)~**

Prongs- Aww their so cute!

Lily- NOO! HE'S DEFILING BLAINE!*sobs*

_o-O *pats back reassuringly* There there._

**~After the rape scene~**

**Death Eater: *drags Blaine back into the same room which Nancy is in and walks away***

**Blaine: *shaking and crying***

**Nancy: Oh My God Blaine what did he do to you?**

**Blaine: Nancy he raped me.**

**Nancy: Oh My God. That sick bastard is going to die after Daddy come save me and you.**

**Blaine: Yeah hope that Klaine Lover can save me too. I'm scared. That guy is just a psychopathic killer.**

**What will happen to Blaine?**

**Will Klaine Lover ever save Blaine and Nancy?**

**Who is that Death Eater? Is he someone in Dalton or Mckinley? Even I dunno.**

**What does the Death Eater plan for Blaine?**

**Is the Death Eater someone that The Warblers or The New Direction knows? Hell I still dunno this answer.**

**So many questions so little time. Tune in next time.**

**Me: And Cut. Wow I didn't think that I would make this into a part by part movie ever since I reviewed and ask about this story.**

**Blaine: It's tiring hey it's going to be a good movie.**

**Kurt: Blaine...**

**Blaine: Hey don't worry babe it's just acting.**

**Kurt: Okay**

**Me: Awww that's so sweet. I think that all the fangirls out there are dying.**

Lily-*dying*

Prongs & Lizard- Uh oh…

**I'll show a preview later okay guys?**

**Wevid: Oh My God Klaine Lover we love this movie thingy.**

**Woah thank for the support guys and thanks for starring in it.**

**Present time**

**Lizard A plush Badger with a mini Hufflepuff scarf on it's neck**

_AWWW! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT—_

Prongs-*pushes her out of the way*

Prongs-*ignores her* What do I get!

**Moony A plush cute wolf with a Gryffindor scarf.(What even I can't resist cute animal I may be a person with a 'I will mess with your face so hard that your parents can't even recognised you' face doesn't mean I can't like cute things)**

Prongs- O.O

**Padfoot A plush dog with Gryffindor scarf and robes. (:P deal with it)**

**Prongs A plush Bambi with fake glasses Gryffindor robes and scarf.**

Prongs- Awww! It's so fluffy!

Lily- I never knew you liked stuffed animals…

Prongs- Who doesn't?

Lily-*sadly*Snape never did…

Prongs- Oh…

*awkward silence*

_SO….__**  
><strong>_**  
>Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year guys! Happy Holidays!<br>**

Everyone- HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

**Klaine and Wevid: thanks Klaine Lover**

**Me: How can I forget about you guys. You guys have presents too**

**Kurt A plush bear with designer clothes.**

**Blaine A plush bear with a vest and a bow tie you can change it clothes too look a navy blue blazer and a blue and red tie.**

**Wes A plush bear with navy blue blazer and a blue and red tie and a mini gavel for the bear.**

**David A plush bear with a navy blue blazer and a blue and red tie.**

**Klaine and Wevid: Thanks Klaine Lover.**

**Me: It's okay anyway.**

_Question 215 comes from_**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

**Me: Oh, no...**

**Albus: Granddad's answering our questions?**

Prongs- HEY!

Lily- *giggles*

Prongs- *blushes*

_:O ? _

**Me: Lily's not helping?**

Both: OH CRAP.

Lily- Actually…

**Albus: See, I'd like it if someone was helping James... but is it really wise to have him answer questions on his own?**

**Me: I don't think so. Therefore: ACCIO LILY! :D**

Lily- AHHH! *flies around before landing*

Prongs & Lizard- *Holding in laughter*

Lily- Don't you DARE laugh at me James Potter!

Prongs- I would never-*snorts*

_:D Lol…_

**Albus: Now that everyone's here, I'd like to say this: It's not all the Slytherin boys... just Goyle. What would frame specifically him and get him expelled?  
><strong>

Lily- Expelled?

Prongs- Sorry my Lily flower this is official Marauder business!

_You could claim he raped you? Is that bad enough to get you expelled?_

Prongs- Well you don't want him to go to jail…

_Oh right…_

Lily- You could um…put a knife into his bookbag…I did that once.

Prongs & Lizard- *le gasp* LILY!

Lily-*defensively* It was a long time ago!

Prongs- Still…you're Head Girl now!

Lily- -_- I'm not proud of it but that hoe pushed me _too_ far!

Prongs & Lizard- O.O

**Me: By the way Lily, how would you feel if one of your grandsons was gay, your granddaughter bisexual, and your other son dating me? Heh heh... Please don't be as homophobic as Prongs. *glares*  
><strong>

Lily- Of course I wouldn't—wait _WHAT!_

_*gasps* You are homophobic!_

Lily- No not that! GRANDCHILDREN? NOOOO! I MARRY JAMES?

Prongs- I keep telling you…

Lily- …

Prongs- Lily?

_You okay?_

Lily-…-_-…yes.

_Sorry…And I don't mean to be hasty but answer the question?_

Lily- fine…no Remus told me he was gay and I supported him from the start!

**Albus: And we gave James chocolate... he refused. We tried hooking up with another guy... he just looked at the Ravenclaw table. How can we get him to move on?**

Prongs- You can't the heart wants what it wants….

Lily- James is right.

Prongs- Yeah I am—

Prongs & Lizard- WAIT WHAT?

Lily- The Ravenclaw boy will open his eyes and see James it might just take some time…

**Me: He's a lot like Sirius, but we can't find anyone like Remus. Help... please!**

_Maybe the Ravenclaw boy isn't like Remus…_

Lily- Well then find a friend who is willing to pretend to be gay and make the Ravenclaw biy jealous and if he still hasn't go look for a Remus on a rewolf dating website…

_Not exactly like Remus -_-_

Lily- oh…*blushes* I knew that

**Albus: Gifts: Lily, a scarf we found that makes James's comments bounce off of you. No literally, they go in his head and will drive him crazy. **

Lily- How useful! ^_^

Prongs-*nervous* Hey now…

**If you want. Prongs, christmas cookies.**

Prongs- I do want! *eats them all*

**Sirius, low-fat Christmas cookies (you don't need them, but we know you're on a diet anyway). Remus, a vat of melted chocolate. **

**Lizard, a book of Calvin and Hobbes.**

_Aww thank you I like Calvin and Hobbes :D  
><em>**  
>Me: Enjoy! Bye! Happy Holidays!<strong>

**Everyone- Happy Holidays. **

Lily- You know this kind of gets tiring especially because there are no holidays right now!

_-_- Okay I get it! I should have updated sooner!_

Prongs- Ya think?

_Question 215 comes from _**RemmyBlack**

*******awesome limo arrives, camera zooms inside to see Remmy holding the baby girl with extra-terrestrial plushies all-around of them*  
><strong>

Lily- Who is this?

Prongs- Moony's fangirl

Lily- She's very-ah-eccentric…

Prongs- Yeah and she's different too.

Lily- -_- that's what eccentric means

Prongs- _Oh…_

**HI JAMIE-POO! Any names for this little one? AND NO NAMES INVOLVING 'HARRY' OR 'LILY' OR ANY TYPE OF FLOWER!...Wait, that's the only names in your vocab isn't it?**

Prongs- NO!...maybe…

Lily- -_-

**:)8 BOWTIE MAN!  
><strong>

_Cute :D_

**...I'm bored...Lizard...wear this and give the other to Jamie-poo *hands you two protective gear outfits***

_Er…I guess we owe some fanservice…_

Prongs- they look uncomfortable :P

**...It will save you from the Axe of Kindness...got them on? If you don't, you will regret it. **

Prongs & Lizard- *put them on*

Lily- How are they? *giggling*

Prongs & Lizard- -_-

Prongs- Actually it's pretty comfortable.

Lily- Don't judge things before you wear them James :D

Prongs- Are you mocking me?

***goes to cage to reveal an axe* Lizard, Jamie-poo meet Random Axe of Kindness. He likes giving hugs...Which is why I got you the suits...which you better have on! *releases Random Axe of Kindness* **

**Prongs & Lizard- *scream***

**Go hug Lizard once**

_Uhh…hello Random Axe…*pats gently*_

Prongs- O.O

Lily-*laughing*

**then never ever let go of hugging Jamie-poo...**

Prongs- No wait!

*axe hugs*

***sits back and smiles* I don't have that sort of medicatio, Jamie-poo...and this is my punishment...the whole Axe never stop hugging you thing...'Jamie-poo' is because I just love torturing you and Snuffles.:)**

Prongs- -_- Oh great!

Lily- :D

Prongs- :)

**BYE BYE NOW! *smoke appears and when the air is cleared, limosuine is gone.***

_*takes off outfit**looks at Prongs* Uh you better keep wearing that._

Prongs- Once this is over I am going to Dumbledore and getting this thing off!

Lily- I'll walk you there :D

Prongs- -_- I love you Lily, but you can stay behind I don't think I want you to see it being removed from me…

Lily- Oh please it'll be my pleasure.

_Hey at least she WANTS to walk with you!_

Prongs- Good point…Lily I am honored to walk with you!

_Question 216 comes from _**itsnotwhatitlookslike**

**Hey guys**

Lily- Hello

Prongs- Hello

_Hello :D  
><em>

**Moony your idea failed I tried to say sorry and yeah I can safely say having your feet stuck to a branch of the whomping willow many feel like a roller coaster but you get really sick really thanks you guys for helping me it helped alot cause I think they have a crush on you.**

Prongs- On me :D Oh please I'm sorry my loyal admirers I'm taken…

Lily- She was talking about Remus and Sirius and who would take you? I'd give you back in an instant!

_Ouch _

Prongs- :(

**I need you guys to hide me though because my friends want to dress me up as a elf for Christmas which I refuse to do. Oh yeah can one of you help me with my homework cause I kinda fell asleep please help I dont want a howler.**

Prongs- I'll tell Moony when I see him

Lily- HEY!

Prongs- Yes my darling?

Lily- I'm just as smart as him!

Prongs- Right…?

Lily- Then why can't I help her?

Prongs- Uh because you're a woman…?

Lily- Sexist Potter as usual…

Prongs- Wait Lily! I mean sure you can!

Lily- Hmph! I thought so!

**Prongs if you seriously want a puppy I can help you out because frankly im bored. **

Prongs- Oh would you? I'll name you Lily the II!

**Just dont feed me dog food ew im pretty sure Padfoot can agree with me there.**

Prongs- I have fed him dog food before…

Lily- TMI

Prongs- What's TMI?

_Too Much Information. _

Prongs- Oh…How so?

Lily-*sighs* Forget it James.

**Good news im happy again**

Lily- Again?

Prongs- She wasn't happy before.

Lily- Oh

**Bad news my friend Lee put a flea collar on me and did something to it and I can't get it off.**

Lily- That's terrible!

Prongs- Poor Lily the II!

_You might wanna see Dumbledore about that.  
><em>**  
>I also want to give you guys a present so<strong>

**For Monny**

Prongs & Lily- Monny?

_Lol!_  
><strong><br>*3 boxes of choclate frogs***

**For Padfoot**

***Zonko's basic pranking set***

**because the classics never get old**

**For Prongs**

***Broom servicing kit***

Prongs- Awesome I needed this!

**and yeah see ya**

***hugs***

Prongs- :D Bye!

Lily- Bye!

_Aloha!_

Prongs & Lily- ?

_It means goodbye in Hawaii :D_

Prongs & Lily- -_-

_Question 217 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**~Preview on the next episode of epicness~**

Lily- OMG!

_Whoa someone's excited!__**  
><strong>_

Lily-*furiously* SHH!

_O.o_

**Me: Looks like it time to save Nancy and Blaine.**

**Kurt: Hey Klaine Lover we will save them cause me Wes and David are coming with you.**

**Me: Eh? It's too dangerous guys!**

**Wes & David: He's our best friend who keep us sane.**

**Kurt: He's my boyfriend. I have a duty to protect him too.**

**Me: Thank you guys.**

**~Preview of epicness episode~**

**Yup that's the preview.**

**So who do you want the Death Eater to be? I can't say that that is Kurt.**

Lily- It should be someone very evil…

Prongs- How about Snape?

_-_- No!_

Prongs- Okay fine not Snape.

**How about a Malfoy(Draco) or a Snape(random boy's name I can think up of) or an OC?**

Lily- I don't know any Draco…

Prongs- We know that prissy boy Lucius :P

_Lucius's son Draco_

Lily & Prongs- Oooh  
><strong><br>Help me and I'll bake any type of cake you guys want jut request the cake and I'll bake it.**

Lily- _Cake? _

Prongs- Did she say _cake?_

We are verrrry hungry…

*5 seconds later*

Everyone- DRACO! DRACO! DRACO! DRACO! DRACO!

Prongs- Do we get cake now?

Lily- Give US THE CAKE!

Everyone- CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE!

*20 minutes later*

Lily- Well now that we are thinking rationally, we chose Draco :D

Prongs- Yeah so give us the cake now please?

_I think she has to bake it first guys…_

Lily & Prongs- Awwww

_Question 218 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**Hey Prongs and Co.**

_Hello _

Prongs- Hi

Lily- Hello but I am not part of his co

Prongs- Aw but Lily munchkins :D

Lily- Munchkin?

:_D Ahaha!_

**-McGonagall mode- MR. POTTER! FETCH MR. BLACK. **

Prongs- Okay but he's not gonna be very happy *leaves*

*2 minutes later*

Prongs- I'm back

Padfoot-*very angry* WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Lily- Touchy…

Prongs- I interrupted a moment if you catch my drift…

Lily- Oh*blushes*

_Whoa*fangasm*_

**Now, may I ask why you two were speeding on a motorbike in a Muggle area wearing OotP t-shirts while being chased by policemen?**

Padfoot & Prongs-*trade glances* Er…

**And then when you were caught, cheeking them! Then, REVEALING MAGIC TOO THEM!**

Prongs- Uhh…

Padfoot- I can explain…you see when a man loves a man certain things-

Lily- Stop avoiding the question!

Padfoot- Oh great it's you -_-

Prongs- Hey! What's wrong with Lily!

Padfoot- Besides the fact she's a nag?

Lily- I'll show you nag!

_Whoa guys and lady! Can't we all just get along?_

Padfoot & Lily- HMPH!

**-normal mode- So anyway, it doesn't matter anymore because we're out anyway! **

Prongs- Okay then :D

Padfoot- See it all worked out :D

Lily- :(

Padfoot- May I go now I have an appointment with the sexiest werewolf on the planet and a jar of chocolate pudding

Prongs- This would be a good opportunity to say TMI wouldn't it?

_Yup_

**You're advice came late -_- **

_I'm sorry!*apology cake? :)*_

**BTW, James, Yule Ball. Lily. Corsage. Green. **

Lily- Oh please don't

Prongs- Come on Lily!

Padfoot- Yeah Lily snog him already!

Lily- Shut up Black! And why are you still here?

Padfoot- I thought I'd stick around for a while you know to see if I'm needed :D

Lily- No! No one needs you here!

Padfoot- -_- Excuse me Lily but this is _Moony and Padfoot's Advice Column. _

Lily- -_-

Padfoot- HMPH!

**There's a hint :) Bye!**

Everyone- Bye!

**OH P.S. Next time you're homophobic, don't be surprised to find yourself chained to a wall, minus your genatils, m'kay?**

Prongs- *gulps*

Padfoot-*laughs* Fangirls—so creative.

_Question 219 comes from _**CANLOGIN**

**WAIT. Wwwwait. I thought you were done with this advice column! **

Everyone- WHAT?

**Maybe you should stop saying things like "done" and "finished." I thought you were done writing the whole column, not the chapter, and have been inwardly depressed for about a week until I got the alert (which I obviously signed up for by the way).  
><strong>

_Oops sorry when I say that I mean for the chapter :D *sorry I got you confused cake? :D*_

**On a lighter note, the next time I review on this column/story/whatever, I will be logged in.  
><strong>

Padfoot- Whoa that's epic!

**GUESS WHAT? In my school, everyone gets a present box from the church. In mine, I got candy, a book, and hair elastics, among other things. I only kept the elastic bands so I could flick them at people. Speaking of which. . . *discreetly grabs bag of elastics* you might just want to. . .DUCK! Heheheh, GOTCHA!**

_Ow!_**  
><strong>

Padfoot & Prongs- Haha

_*flicks them at Padfoot & Prongs*_

Padfoot- Ow okay that hurts!

**Is it weird/abnormal/insane that I know each and every word to a Swedish song, never mind the english version? It's a song by a band called "Caramell."**

Oh I think I know what you're talking about! And no it's not weird I love K-pop so…

Prongs- No it's pretty weird.

Padfoot- Yeah you're both weirdoes.

Lily- No! Shut up! You guys aren't you're diverse :)  
><strong><br>I have a funny story. Not really funny, actually, but. . .absurd.**

**My brother and I were going to do something. Unfortunately, I had just finished listening to Queen, so I said, "Are you ready, are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway the-" By then, he had stopped me.**

Padfoot- Haha I did that once!

Lily- That is pretty funny :D

Prongs- I think it's absurd

Moony- Do you even know what absurd means?

Everyone- AH!

Padfoot- Moony! Jesus you scared us! Why are you so…chocolatey?

Moony-*faintly annoyed* Well I was left chained and covered with pudding for 10 minutes!

Padfoot- Sorry :D I got distracted.

Moony- I'll bet -_-

**I think James should have his own advice column, or his very own chapter in this one, because I want to be amused by his quirky, one-sided version of life's advice.  
><strong>

Padfoot- Well he is having one right now so…

**Sewwwwww. . . Methinks is a real word! Right?**

Moony- Without all the w's sew is a real word yeah.

**I wrote the randomchick thing because I wanted to see how you would react, which was exactly as I thought.  
><strong>

_That was you?_

Padfoot- See I knew we had done that before!

Moony- Yeah the example…

**I'm writing 3 stories right now, but I don't think I'm very good at it. *a confidence boost by 100% is obviously needed.* **

_Oh have you finished? Can I read them? Wait is it Harry Potter? Is it something I know-_

Prongs- Hey! Who's running this column! I comment on the questions! Have you finished? Can I read them? Is it Harry Potter? Is it something I know-

Prongs- :D

**Maybe in another review (so this one isn't too big) I could take an excerpt from each and you can tell me, on a scale of 0 to 10, you could tell me if you liked it. Please?**

Prongs- I'm in.

Padfoot- Of course ^_^

Moony- Hey that was my answer!

_I'd love too!_

Moony- Hey!

Lily- Sure

Moony- -_- Yeah okay*was all he could come up with*

**OKAY THANKS I'LL DO IT EVEN IF YOU SAY NO!**

Padfoot- Well thank gosh I said yes :D  
><strong><br>Response to Ch 10: "Moony- I am not afraid of death!" So. . . If I ran at you with a knife (cause my wand broke :(, don't take it immaturely, P&P), you honestly would not be the least bit frazzled? Mmkay, let's try! *Runs at group with plastic butter knife* **

Moony- Wai-wait a min-AHHHHH!*runs behind Padfoot*

**See? Tolja so.  
><strong>

Moony- :( *traumatized*

**Bye! Adios, Padfoot? Really? *grumble* *mumble* *and just about any other verb you can think of* He's not spanish!. . . . .**

_Yeah Padfoot! Who do you think you are?_

Padfoot- You taught me that!

Prongs- I know "Hola" and "Queso"

_Cheese? -_- All you know is hello and cheese?_

Prongs- Oh is _that _what that meant? I thought it was an insult I was yelling that at first years the other day…

Lily- So basically you were yelling cheese at them? James…*sighs*

_Question 220 comes from_ **CANLOGIN**

Moony- Back already? :D

Padfoot- She couldn't get enough of me?

Prongs- No she couldn't get enough of me!

Padfoot- *growls*

Prongs-*makes whatever noise deer make*

Lily- -_- Rem, how do you put up with them?

Moony-*eating chocolate (he found in the corner that James saved for him) pulls out earplugs* What?

Lily- -_-

**Okay I lied, I'm not logged in, next ch i will log in.**

**Here's the beginning of my first story, a girl's 2y/o brother knocks down a candle and burns down the house:**

Lily- Aww poor house!

Padfoot- -_- It's just a house Lily!

Lily- Shut up!

**" "Jane-Bell! Betty Sue called! She wants you to help with her rug-beating chores, I told her you'd be there!" My mother shouted impatiently.**

**The crisp, ashen candle wick flared, my only insurance being that it was on the high mantle piece so Christopher couldn't upset it. Two-year-olds tend to get curious about bright fire.**

**The white-hot light gently pained my delicate eyes, the soaring flame throwing a mere contracting ring of shadow on the walls.**

**My mother, Elizabeth, waltzed out of the kitchen. In her delicate, pale hands she held the radio, which was literally blasting out "Moon Glow" by Benny Goodman. Her favourite song. It always helps in the attempt to make her feel better.**

**But her eyes, her greenish-brownish eyes still held the drooping weight of sadness. My father had been gone two hours later than normally after work, and we were all very worried. Except for Christopher, probably. He was probably thinking "Truck go vroom-voom!" He was playing with his toy cars."**

Everyone- *claps*

**Whatcha think? Trying too hard?**

_Not at all! _

Prongs- That sounds better than this girl's.

_-_- HAY!_

Padfoot- is for horses :D

Lily & Moony & Lizard- -_-

Moony- I thought it was good. You gave a good description of everything :D

Lily- I concur

Padfoot- Nerds!

**Wanta hear my next one? Sure, here you go. This one's based off of "The Ballad of Billy the Kid." How do you pronounce "Ballad?"**

Moony- _B-al-id_

Padfoot- Oops and here all this time I was saying _Ball-ad_:D

Lily- How-

Moony- Don't ask!

Lily- *shakes her head*

**"From a town known as Wheeling, West Virginia, rode a boy with a six-gun in his hand. And his daring life of crime made him a legend in his time, east and west of the Rio Grande.**

**I rode my stolen bike down a deserted alleyway. Through the other side I would turn on to Mozart Rd. No, I couldn't do that. Too public. I mean, I hadn't committed any crimes yet. Yet. I was planning on robbing the Alpine Bank in Colorado, to get money for being a runaway, and if I did, I couldn't have too many people seeing me. Police get to them, ask 'em questions. . . no. I was much safer this way.**

**Oh, I'm Billy, by the way. Billy the Kid, they'll call me. My last name? You aren't supposed to know that. If you do, well. . . you better hope I never meet you. If I did, the results would be pretty ugly.**

**I rode the orange-striped bicycle a bit further down the alleyway. Ah, the right turn.**

**I pushed backwards on the pedals, but they wouldn't stop spinning! Must be why the person who *legally* owned it wasn't riding it. Broken brakes. Luckily, I was riding next to Jimmy Will's Corner Store.**

**I leaned onto the wall and stepped off of the bike. Pulled my ski mask out of my pocket and shoved it down my head. Luckily, it was relatively cold, so no one would really notice."**

**This one seems like I'm not trying hard enough. Then again, it's the PoV of a teenage boy, so. . .**

Prongs- Yeah *waves it off* teens are stupid.

*everyone except Prongs*- YOU ARE A TEEN!

Prongs- So?

Moony- -_-…Anyways, I thought it was good he had a personality to him.

_Me too _

Lily- Me three

Prongs- Me fourth

Padfoot- FOLLOWERS! I make my OWN observations!

Moony- Fine then Pads, care to comment…

Padfoot- Uh…I like how…Oh! I like how its modern day version of the Billy the Kid! There HAH!

Moony- -_-*claps sarcastically* Nice.

**My third-and last-one is an incomplete Animorphs one, which can be read right here on FanFiction! Kay, well, BYE!**

Padfoot- BYE!

Lily- Bye!

Prongs- Farewell!

Moony- Bye!

_Bye and keep writing!_

_Question 221 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Sorry is I used Nancy here cause it's like part of my plot. It's not a movie it really happened. :( I miss my cousin. I mean he has been kidnapped. Kurt misses his submissive AKA sub. Wes and David are going insane. I'm slowly going insane and will kill anyone who come near me. :( Blaine please come home safely. :(**

_Aww how sad!_

Moony- Wait Blaine is still missing?

Padfoot- I guess so…

Lily- OMG Remus it was crazy he got raped by this psycho killer who wanted him!

Moony- Really? :O

Prongs- Yeah and I think he also has Nancy.

Padfoot- Damn we're fucked!

Lily- Black! Watch your language!

Padfoot- No! *sticks out tongue*

Lily- -_-

_Question 222 comes from_ **CANLOGIN**

Moony- If either of you says that she came back for you so Gods help me I will…well I'll do something…

Padfoot & Prongs- Fine -_-

**Just one last note here: Me and "Kali Yugah" (okay, "Kali Yugah" and I**) (Moony- Thank you^_^)** seem to be the only ones who really know who Elton John is. Although when it comes down to it, I would probably know more about him.**

_Sorry I don't know him :(_

Padfoot- Is he hot? Would I date him

Moony-*coughs loudly*

Padfoot- Don't fret Moony you're my special lady you know that right?

Moony-*blushes* Pads. For the last time I'm a ma-

Prongs- You know I think he;s an old man…  
><strong><br>OK, 2 last notes, not just one: Why isn't there a Mystery Tune thing anymore?**

_Uhh…because…because-*runs away*_

Prongs- OI! GET BACK HERE AND FACE YOUR DESTINY!

Padfoot- I'll get here!*runs off*

Moony- I'll answer this she hasn't done it because she hs a bad memory she probably doesn't remember what happened 5minutes ago -_- can you believe she _runs _this?

_Hurtful!_

Moony- -_-

_Okay so I have been a little lazy :P but okay I promise to update this way faster than a month (how embarrassing!) and add a mystery tune to it sorry *apology cake? :D*_

_Question 223 comes from_ **Elton John**

**AND CAAAN YOU FEEEL THE LOOOVE TONIGHT**** *tonight* ****I-****Noe? Yew don't like that song? Ohkay, then. . .**

**Don't wish it away, don't look at it like it's forever. Betwe-**

**AGAIN? WHAT DIDN'T YOU LIKE ABOUT THAT ONE? DO YOU THINK I SHOULD JUST GO AWAY? NEVER COME BACK AGAIN? OKAY, FINE, I WILL!**

*everyone*- O.O!

**Um, but first, can you get this. . .this James fellow off of me? No, James, I will not sing for you! *Kicks James off*  
><strong>

**GOOD DAY! *grumbles off***

Prongs- But I NEED you!

Padfoot- Mate let it go

Prongs-*sobs*

_Wtf?_

_Question 224 comes from _**Doku**

**James. Severus says you've been mean to him. Do I have to Bound your wand to the bed and make you swear not to be mean to him. I will do it you know, for a muggle I happen to be very violent.**

Prongs- No ma'am :O !

Lily- Yeah Potter leave Severus alone!

Padfoot- I can't believe you stand up for the creep! After all that's happened!

Lily- Shut up Black! You wouldn't understand!

Padfoot- Lily-

Moony- Don't Pads!

Padfoot-*scoffs and looks away*

_Tension?_

_Question 225 comes from _**Snickerdoodle Black**

**Hi Lizard! **

_Hi :D_

**Also hi to Pads (Paddy, I lovers yoo!)**

Padfoot- :D

**and Moony-kinz (Moons, I lovers yoo more!)**

Moony-^_^ Hello

**...Looking back, Lizard gets love too. She deserves it, cuz she's just that awesome.**

_Aww you're too kind. _

Moony- Flattery won't get you anywhere…

Padfoot- It got you in my bed :D

Moony-*flusters*

Padfoot- Oooh he got you!

**So my question is: Like you, my darling Remus, I have a severe chocolate addiction. No, scratch that and change it to fetish. Help me?  
><strong>

Moony- Easy live with it :D

Prongs- Replaces it with a Lily :D

Lily- Please don't

Padfoot- Replace it with smex!

**I really hope you guys can get Nancy. By the way, when it comes to Twilight I am Team Esme because she's so nice and sounds like the kind of person who makes great cookies.**

Padfoot & Lily- She does!

Padfoot- Jinx! You owe me a butterbeer!

Lily- I owe you nothing!

Padfoot- But I said jinx! Moony she doesn't wanna owe me a butterbeer!

Moony- Hush Paddie, I'll get you one.

Padfoot- Okay :D

**Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should James even get a CHANCE to do his own column. I mean, Prongs, you're great and all, but nobody wants to hear even two chapters of you answering every question with "That reminds me of Lily Evans! God, she is so fucking awesome!"**

**Moony & Padfoot & Lizard- Ouch!**

**Prongs- For your information I have not ranted about Lily this whole time!**

**Lily- That is true…**

**And because I'm so greedy, a couple more things: I want subscriptions! To Siriusly Obsessed, Loopy Fangirls, Wolfstar AND Prongsies.**

Padfoot- Can do *hands you one*

Moony-*also hands you one*

Prongs- AH! I feel so special!*hands you one* Lily you want one?

Lily- Ah no thank you.

**Also, this may annoy you since you've already been asked personal questions, but Padfoot and Moony, (*giggle*), how big are you? I like my shmexy fantasies to be as accurate as possible. ^ ^;;;  
><strong>

Moony-*blushes* W-what?

Padfoot- Picture the biggest one you can…I'm twice as big :D

_Kick back!And Moonyy answer the question!_

Moony- I don't know…8 inches?

_:D That's enough for me!_

Prongs- Ew!

Lily-*blushing*

**I shower you all with hugs and kisses (extra for poor unloved Sirius, though Remus is forever my favorite, and Lizard, don't count yourself out!).**

_Aww :D_

Padfoot- :) Oh you!

Moony- ^_^

**Snickerdoodle Black, AKA Snicks likes Twix**

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 226 comes from _**Same Death Eater**

**Time is up for dear little Nancy... The dark lord has great plans for her, but you'll never see her again.  
><strong>

Padfoot- Hey leave her alone!

***Walks closer to Nancy***

Nancy: What? No... Leave me alone. HELP!

Lily- She's just a child!

**Shut up! Say bye to your daddy, because only way you'll get out alive is if the dark lord dies and he can not die since you're going to be a horcrux!  
><strong>

Moony- Nancy is going to be a_what?_

**So long. And Say good bye, Miss Black.**

Padfoot- Damnit! I feel so helpless!

Moony- It's okay Pads, we'll save her. Come on let's go James and Lily can handle this. *pulls him away*

Padfoot- Okay…bye James, nag

Lily- =_- *eye twitch*

_Question 227 comes from_ **CANLOGIN**

**Um. . . Hi Lizard, me again. I just realized that most of the things I asked won't work for this chapter, with the James thing and all, so do whatever you want with them! **

Prongs- Hey! I'm right here!

I know James. And don't worry I made them fit :D

**Also, did you just say that something happened to Nancy so you don't have to do her dialogue as well?**

_Um no…that wasn't me…_

Prongs- OHMYGOD! You're the Death Eater!

_Shut up James! -_-_

_Question 228 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

**Me: Wait Nancy! That's my other cousin!**

**Kurt:Wait what?**

**Me: Nancy Anderson(not Nancy Black FYI). Blaine's younger sister how can I forget. (I'm very forgetful so deal with it)**

**Kurt: Wait so both Anderson siblings got kidnapped.**

Prongs- Are you kidding me?

_Two Nancy's and a Blaine have been kidnapped?_

Lily- Oh no!

**Me: FUCK! I was supposed to introduce her in one of the episode.**

**Kurt and Wevid: We knew about her.**

**Me: Well duh of course you all know cause Blaine introduced her to you all.**

**Kurt: True she look like Blaine are they twins?**

**Me: Yes they are. Blaine is older by 10 minutes I think I forgot.**

**Sorry I'm very forgetful that's his younger twin sister but I forgot adding her last name into this episode so it's not your daughter Sirius sorry. That why Blaine is shock.**

**Nancy Anderson**

**Age: 16**

**School: The sister's school of Dalton.**

**Sexuality: lesbian(sadly it's true so their parents must learn how to accept them)**

**Family members: John Anderson, Maria Anderson and Blaine Anderson.**

**Favourite things: Music, Art etc etc.**

**Least favorite things: Buyllying, Homophobics(duh) etc etc.**

**Relationship: Single(waiting for the perfect girl)**

**So that Nancy Anderson people she's in Ravenclaw BTW.**

Prongs- Oh crap now they definitely have to find that Death Eater!

Lily- I feel so bad for them :(

Prongs- Want me to comfort you?*attempts to hug her*

Lily- Get away from me James -_-

Lol! You guys are so cute together! :D

Lily- -_- We are NOT together!

Prongs- Not yet!

_Last question 229 comes from_ **Grey Sparrow**

**Y U NO update?**

_-_- Hi Cuz…_

Prongs- Yeah Lizard why don't you update?

_Shut up James I'm updating right now!_

Prongs- :D

_Anyways, we're done with this chapter so...any last words?_

Prongs- I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Lily- -_-...No comment

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reviwing!<strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: That wasn't too long of a wait I hope! Also yes James and Lily are here but NEXT TIME I update they won't be! Also I guess it's been decided that Klaine Lover wants to rescue Nancy? Would you please? :D ?**

* * *

><p><em>Yo yiggity yo! <em>

Prongs- O.o? What's with you?

_Nothing just hyped up :D It's nice to have you all together like this. _

Padfoot- Yeah well don't get used to it! There are two people too many in here…*looks pointly at Lily*

Lily- -_- Thank you Black for that nice comment

Moony- Hey Lily.

Lily- Hi Rem :D

Padfoot-*gasp* Moony! Don't befriend the enemy!

Lily & Moony- What?

Prongs- She is not the enemy! She's my lovely Lilyflower!

Lily- Potter -_- I'm going to stop you there because-

_Um no offense but can we start already? Some of us want to go to sleep soon…_

Padfoot- Lazy!

_:D _

_Anywhoo…._

_Question 230 comes from_ **kali yugah **

**hey guys and lily *if shes's there* **

Lily- Right here unfortunately -_-

Padfoot-*growls*

**i'm here. so guys i have finally decided to nickname all of you after my favorite pokemon or pokemon trainer! you should feel lucky to be the first!**

Prongs- What the hell is a _Pokémon_?  
><strong><br>prongs your Pokémon nickname will be ... ... ... Nidoking**

Prongs- Eh? As in king of all the Nidos? :D

Lily- -_- ….Yeah James exactly that

Padfoot- What? Lucky!

Moony- And I thought James was dumb…

**padfoot your Pokémon nickname will be ... ... ... Zorua who is a trickster pokemon**

Padfoot- Is he king of anything?

_I highly doubt it _

Padfoot- : (

**moony you have 2 nicknames your Pokémon nickname will be Reshiram the legendary pokemon of truth from Unova **

Padfoot- Legendary? Whaaat! : (

Moony- :D Thank you!

Padfoot- Hmph!

Prongs- Oh lighten up Pads you don't even know what Pokémon _are_!

Padfoot- I know what they're not!

_Huh? _

Padfoot-*sighs* Never mind

**and your trainer nickname will be N because he is the sexiest, sweetest and the best rival you could have.  
><strong>

Moony- really?*blushes*

Padfoot- Heh heh I agree with that one Moons.

Moony-*turning really red* Oh…

**lily your pokemon nickname will be Nidoqueen**

Lily- Nido—What?

**lizard your pokemon nickname will be Arceus because without you this column wouldn't exist**.

_Damn straight!_

*everyone besides Lizard*- -_-

**lily, prongs the reason why your nicknames are so similar is because they are the perfect soulmates fir each other like you two, you both balance each other out. prongs is the silly and devoted side of the heart and lilly is the brains, the rational and the passionate side.**

Lily- HAH!

Prongs- :D I couldn't agree more!

Lily- Oh shut it Potter!

Prongs-*sigh* I love you Lilykins.

_Okay…Question 231 comes from_**RemmyBlack**

***A Minion (like the fish Minion from the movie 'Megamind') is holding the baby girl, who is now dubbed 'Thera' while a wheelie bin is seen rolling down a hill. RemmyBlack emerges from the bin with a cheetah print dress and black tights on* THAT IS AWESOME! You guys HAVE to try it sometime :) here *clicks fingers and 5 wheelie bins appear as well as a hill* I don't know if Lily's still here so I'm going to assume yes.  
><strong>

Lily- Again as I said before still here -_-

Padfoot-*hmphs*

Lily-*glares at him*

***takes Baby Thera from a Minion***

**If Lily is still here, you can call me weird if you want too :) just don't say that I belong in an mental instiution or creepy and you're fine :) (you can call me insane as well).**

Lily- Insane? But not _creepy_…hmm…okay :)  
><strong><br>AND YOU GUYS BETTER ROLL DOWN THE HILL IN THOSE WHEELIE BINS! Wait, is Random Axe of Kindness still stuck to James?**

Padfoot- nope :D

Moony- -_- It's stuck on Severus Snape now.

_Hey! Leave Snape alone!_

Lily- Yeah!

Padfoot- Huh? I'll never understand women…

Moony- Well it's a good thing I'm not one right?

Padfoot- Oh yeaahh…you're not…I was wondering why you were so_ flat_ chested…

Moony- =_=

**If not, WHERE IS RANDOM AXE OF KINDESS AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE AXE TRYING TO BRING JOY TO THE WORLD? WHAT DID YOU DO?**

Prongs & Padfoot-*exchange smiles*

_Evil…O.o_**  
><strong>

**Cake, Lizard? *gives you three layers of chocolate cake* IT NEVER EXPIRES! So you can take you time eating the rich chocolate cake! **

_Thank you! :D_

Moony- -_-

_Er…*puts cake away awkwardly*  
><em>**  
>Moony, here's your own chocolate cake, you can add as many layers as you want to it. <strong>

Moony- ^_^!

**Lily, here's a charm bracelet (this is going past my generosity but you defended Snapey)**

Lily- :D Thank you

**Prongs, you get no presents!**

Prongs- What? :(

**Padfoot...you will find out later *evil smirk***

Padfoot-*laughs nervously* Hehe…?  
><strong><br>QUESTION TIME! *Thera gurgles***

**(to everyone minus Lizard) What's the worse fanfic Lizard made you be in? (IT CAN NOT BE THIS ONE!)**

Padfoot- Yeah but if it had to be this one…

_Hey! :O_

Padfoot- :D

Lily- The worst fanfic she has put me was in the one about my itch I couldn't scratch…

Moony- Oh God! How awkward was that!

Padfoot- Oh I remember…:D Lol

Prongs- I don't!

_That one was funny wasn't it? _

Lily & Moony- -_-

_:( Everyone's a critic…_

**To Lizard, do you RP? And if so, how many evil characters have you RPed? (I've only RPed one, but then she died...DARN IT! IT WAS FUN!)**

_Um…no I actually haven't role played… :P _

Padfoot- Boo!

**To Padfoot, *knocks down your statue* I WASN'T RECRUITED AS A CHEERLEADER! So your statue pays! *Awesome Evil Laugh* That was your present *evil smirk* that and Thera needs a cot and the statue is the only thing she will sleep in...How do you feel?  
><strong>

Padfoot-*sobbing* My statue!

Moony-*pats his head* There there

**TO EVERYONE! *Remmy singing***

**well, they encourage your complete cooperation,**

**send your roses when they think you need a smile**

**I can't control myself because I don't know how and**

**they love me for it, honestly, I will be here for awhile**

**So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff**

**Give them all that they can drink and**

**it will never be enough,**

**so give them blood, blood, blooooood,**

**grab a glass because there's going to be a flood!**

***Wraps random cloack that just appeared around me and Baby Thera, green smokes appear and when it fades, Remmy, Thera and their Minions are gone and only a black paper with green writing on it is left* TOODLE FOR NOW! AND THE RANDOM AXE OF KINDNESS BETTER BE SAFE OR ALL OF YOU WILL DIE! WELL, EXCEPT FOR LIZARD BECAUSE SHE'S COOL! :)**

_Well thank God for that :D  
><em>

*everyone else*- -_-

_Question 232 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**James is the best thing since the thing they had before they had sliced bread! :D (I love saying that!)  
><strong>

Prongs- And I love hearing it :)

**But Sirius is still better! ^.^**

Prongs-*goes to the corner and weeps*

Padfoot- :D

**So, I realize that I've been showing a lot of favoritism, but I just wanted to let Moony know that I really DO love him.**

Moony- Aww thank you

**It's just that I have more in common with the others, you know? I have quite a bit in common with you too, but it's more subtle. So I bring an apology gift of a giant Hershey's bar and beg your forgiveness.**

Moony- Well an apology is enough…oh it is pretty BIG…*grabs it quickly and runs into the corner beside James and begins eating like a crazed beast*

_:O_

***falls on floor crying* I ask YOUR forgiveness too, Lizard! **

_Er…okay… :D_

**You're a good person despite your lack in updates! **

Padfoot- Haha!

_-_- Yeah… I'm working on that…._

**And Lily...I'm sorry that I mentally call you a ginger bitch every time you call James a mean name. **

Lily- What?

**I sincerely apologize to all of you. *scampers off***

Padfoot- Well that was nice of her :D

Lily- But she called me a bitch…

Prongs- But she DID apologize, honey

Lily- Don't _honey_ me Potter!

_:D Cute…_

***runs back* oh, yeah... And I need some advice from Padfoot... So my parents are going to get my puppy... nutered *gulp* this Wednesday... How do I comfort him? :'(**

Padfoot- That's horrible!

Moony- Get him a tub of chocolate ice cream!*licks at his chocolate covered face*

Padfoot-*le gasp* You can't do that! It would die!

Moony- Oh right…*shrugs and goes back to eating bar*

Padfoot- I would want you to hold my…_paw _and give me lots of treats :D And tell me I'm a good boy!

Prongs- Whoa needy much?

Padfoot- Grr!

_So yeah…poor puppy!_

_Question 233 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

**So all of you chose Draco. Well thanks but I will review the Death Eater behind the mask soon after I think of a plot.**

**Chocolate cake with fudge in it. Here you go the cake I promised.**

*everyone*- CAKE!

*they all dive and eat like those wild African dogs-you know? Like pulling and ravaging it?*

AFTER CAKE

**Lily well thanks for saying that to Blaine he is really happy to hear that.  
><strong>

Lily- You're very welcome :)

**Blaine: Thank you for all your support :)**

Lily- *blushes*

Prongs-*snorts like a buck*

**Okay questions:**

**I've been craving for kitty! Kurt, puppy! Blaine, nerd! Blaine and cheerio! Kurt I want to ask you if you ever want to read those fanfics? I did and I squeal because of all the cuteness.**

Lily- No I haven't but they sound adorable.

Padfoot- -_- Ugh what a fangirl!

Lily- Shut up Black!

**Please read 'Until My Dying Breath' on tumblr a fix where Kurt is a vampire. :)**

**Those fanfic are so awesome that I'm recommending them to you guys**

Lily- I'll try to read it :)

Padfoot- Boo!

Lily- =_=

_Question 234 comes from _**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Hey,**

_Hello_

Moony- Hi!

Prongs- Lily?

Padfoot- How is she doing that?

Lily- Doing what?

_Hmm…maybe because this is a review it isn't exactly from the present…_

Padfoot- Ohh!

Prongs- So this is Lily…

Lily- That is not me :P

**Right...'Prongsie', I know that my Christmas message was a little late! I'm not stupid! Honestly - I can see why Lily gets annoyed easily with you - it's not my fault you were too busy playing pranks to reply!**

Padfoot- It wasn't just that_ someone_ *looks at Lizard* didn't want to update!

_Sorry! :(_

**And I wasn't going to fight with Lily! Everyone has their own opinions! Although, I have to say, Edward is a little freaky...you know...watching her sleep...**

Padfoot- That is true…

Moony- Yeah that's why I'm Team Jacob ^-^

**Anyway, yeah! How's school going for you? Mine's crap.**

Padfoot- It's okay…Meh -_-

Moony- Too bad yours is crap :(

Prongs- Lily I thought you loved Hogwarts!

Lily- -_- That is NOT me!

**Although, I got the highest mark in my year (and the year above) for Citizenship and an A* for English (An O at Hogwarts)...**

Moony- Good job!

Lily- Keep it up!

Prongs & Padfoot-*clap*

_:D SMART!_

**Just a random thing but I have taken to calling Lucius Malfoy 'Lucy Goosie Papa Lushey' - it makes him sound so girly, what with his long hair and everything!**

Padfoot- Hey that's a good one mind if we use it?

Prongs- Hehe this is gonna be fun!

**Oh well, I'm gonna go now... See ya!**

Lauren :)

*everyone*-Bye!

_Question 235 comes from _**Snickerdoodle Black**

**Yeah, hi again, peoples. I guess for this question I'll get responses from Lizard, Moony, Padfoot, Prongs AND Lily? Kewl.**

Lily- Yeah pretty much

Padfoot- -_- (still here?)

Lily- What?

Padfoot- Nothing!

Lily-*suspicious face*

**My question is: I have this friend, who I almost know for a fact fancies me. I want him to ask me out -being the vain creature I am, it would flatter me to no end- but since I'm actually not into him, I want to say no. Plus, just how in the world do I find out if he really likes me or not, without being all awkward? We're pretty close.  
><strong>

Prongs- Well Valentine's Day is coming up you can give him a special gift?

Padfoot- Or you could get a friend to randomly ask them.

Moony- And even if he does like you if you don't like him there's no point in wondering right?

Lily- I agree with Remus—you can find out but if it doesn't matter to you then don't bother

**Sooo... Chained up and covered in chocolate, eh? *munches on Hershey's bar, because I've learned to live with my chocolate fetish* That sounds delicious. Sirius, do you have that on video? You'd better, or I'll chop off your so-called "enormously humongous" bits. BE AFRAID.  
><strong>

Padfoot- Uhh…*flees*

**Anyhoo, I'll close this review with a short suck-up paragraph. Liz, you are a true genius, and I dearly hope you do not get hit by a taco truck. Or otherwise fatally injured, for that matter. **

_Gee, thanks…?_

**Moony, Pads can be annoying as fuck sometimes, but he really loves you, and with good reason. Who wouldn't adore you? **

Moony- Well *blushes* I knew that…

**Padfoot, ...You are a truly messed-up man sometimes, but it only adds to your charm. **

Padfoot-*came back* That's true :D

**James, I commend you for your loving devotion to Lily. You will make a great husband. **

Prongs- That I will :)

Lily- -_- Don't get any ideas!

**And last but not least, Lily, you are a real Gryffindor. Bold and stubborn, you stand up for what you believe in and are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for a loved one. I am very proud of you. But please, cut poor James a centimeter of slack? Deep down, he's not that bad.  
><strong>

Lily- …I'll think about it…

**Here's a yummy review cake, but I charmed it so there's NO HOGGING IT and you can only open it when Lizard has updated.**

*everyone except Lizard*- UPDATE NOW!

_Okay okay!*updating* _

Moony- :D Chocolate!

*everyone eats but this time in a mannerly fashion*  
><strong><br>Love and penguins, Snicks likes Twix**

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 236 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

Lily- My show! *sits down watching intently*

*the men look at each other like "I'll never understand women"*

**Blaine: Sis I'm scared. What's gonna happen?**

**Nancy: I dunno Blaine. (For those who dunno who thins Nancy is she is Blaine's younger twin sister)**

**Death Eater: So I think it's a good it's a good idea I introduced myself.**

**Nancy: Okay…**

**Death Eater: *takes out mask* Yo.**

**Blaine: Sebastian. Sebastian Smyth?**

Lily- OMG!

_Sebastian? :O I liked that name!_

Lily- Shhh!

_-_- Sorry!_

**Sebastian: Why yes Blaine it's me.**

**Nancy: Wait you're that guy who always call Blaine?**

**Sebastian: Why yes Nancy Anderson.**

**Blaine: Why are you a Death Eater anyway?**

**Sebastian: They give me power. And I want people to stop bullying me so I killed everybody who bullied me and you. Now it's Kurt that is in my way to me having you.**

**Nancy: Wow you are a creeper.**

**Blaine: Don't lay a finger on Kurt or I'll end your life Sebastian.**

**Sebastian: Oh what are you going to do you're just a muggle. I should make a call to your cousin.**

**~~Time Line~~**

**Me: Looks like it time to save Nancy and Blaine.**

Lily- Hurry! Sebastian has him!

**Kurt: Hey Klaine Lover we will save them cause me Wes and David are coming with you.**

**Me: Eh? It's too dangerous guys!**

**Wes & David: He's our best friend who keep us sane.**

**Kurt: He's my boyfriend. I have a duty to protect him too.**

**Me: Thank you guys. *phone rings* *picks up phone* Hello?**

**Death Eater: Hello. Time to play a game.**

**Me: Cut the bullshit now tell me where do I meet you.**

**Death Eater: Impatient I see meet me at the warehouse where you guys did 'Animal'.**

**Me: Okay bring Blaine and Nancy with you.**

**Death Eater: Okay.**

**Me: Wes do you remember where's the warehouse that we did 'Animal'?**

**Wes: Yes why?**

**Me: We'll meet the Death Eater there.**

**Wes: Okay I'll drive.**

**Me: No you went nuts cause Blaine's not here and you're supposed to be in college .**

**Wes: True but I'm worried about Blaine.**

**Me: Okay. Let's go guys.**

**Kurt and Wevid: Okay.**

**~~Time Line~~**

**Me: Well we're here.**

**Kurt: Yeah.**

**Death Eater: *appears out of nowhere* I see you guys see finally here.**

**Me: AH! Please don't do that.**

**Death Eater: Now the necklaces.**

**Me: Here.**

**Death Eater: *snatches box away from Klaine Lover***

**Me: *kicks the mask from Death Eater face* SEBASTIAN!**

**Kurt: I should have known.**

**Sebastian: How dare you? I'm going to kill you. *takes out necklaces and put them on* I have the most powerful thing in the world.**

**Me: I switched the real one to a fake one. Wow I can't believe that you are so stupid.**

**Sebastian: Why you. Crucio! *wand makes weird noises* What?**

**Me: This necklace takes away wizard's power in them.**

**Sebastian: Well I did rape your cousin.**

**Padfoot-*le gasp* Kill him!**

**Me and Kurt: You're going to die Sebastian.**

**Me: *Takes out katana* I'm going to cut you face so badly that not even your parents will recognise you.**

**Sebastian: Blaine and Nancy are in the warehouse that you can't even find them.**

**Me: You're still going to die. *kills Sebastian* You know why cause you're going to break Klaine up in season 3 saying that Blaine kissed you when you kissed him you bastard then Blaine will transfer back to Dalton cause you broke them up then you will beat him up that he breaks up with you. Then flashback will happen. Then he transfer back to Mckinley and then Klaine will get back together. So where is Blaine and Nancy?**

**Sebastian: At the end door. *dies***

**Kurt and Wevid: *dashes to the back of the room and found Blaine and Nancy* Oh My God! Blaine Nancy!**

**Blaine: Guys we're trapped in this glass box thing it won't break no matter how hard I hit it even a rock can't break it.**

**Kurt: Blaine baby calm down I'm sure we will open break it.**

**~~End of episode~~**

**Will Kurt David Wes and I break this glass?**

Lily- Yes :D

Prongs- No -_-  
><strong><br>Will Blaine ever get over the rape thing?**

Lily- Yes :)

Prongs- No -_-

**Will Nancy reveal her real name? (That's not her real name BTW)**

Lily- Yes! :D

Prongs- No -_-

Lily- Shut up James Potter!

Prongs- :D

**Okay gifts time.**

**Moony: Chocolate volcano cake it'll explode with chocolate lava.**

Moony-*who ate a bunch of chocolate already* Ugh…no m-more…

**Padfoot: A plush doll that look like Nancy. I hope that she'll be found. No you're not helpless. It's just that I know that she will be found even though she's a horcrux once the spell is broken she will be Nancy again.**

Padfoot- Aww thanks.

**Prongs: A Iphone this is a muggle technology that muggles have been using.**

Prongs- Have they now *strokes imaginary beard*  
><strong><br>Lizard: A fudge pool and a squishy ball just squeeze it and all your stress are gone.**

_Yay! Thank you :D _

**Lily: A positive necklace it'll calm you down from annoyingness and it'll control your temper.**

Lily- Praise the lord!

Padfoot- Yup.

**Blaine is alright except that he has been raped but I killed Sebastian. I like Blangst cause I want to see Blaine sad for once. I hope that you guys like the plushies I gave you all for Christmas. Now I have to prepare for Chinese New Year for my friends.**

**Bye I'll be back for preview for the next episode.**

*everyone*- Bye!

_Question 237 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**HI! ! !**

*everyone*- Hi!

**YAY! ! ! ! My favorite puppies are back!*does a happy dance* *fiercely hugs Moony, Padfoot, and Lizard* I never thought I'd miss you so much! I love James and all, but he was a little overwhelming.**

Prongs- Hey! Right here you know!

_Lol :D_

**Speaking of Prongs, did you guys get my presents or do I have to go deer hunting?**

Moony- No I'm pretty sure we got them…

**I think James having a column is too much, ocassional apperance, cool, but own column, No. Sorry James! I still love you! Maybe some more appearances of Lily would be fun.**

Prongs- -_-

Lily- -_- No.

**I think I have a solution to getting Nancy back. Accio Nancy! *grabs Nancy and gives her to a very happy Sirius* There! :D No need to thank me! I have something for you Nancy! A charm bracelet Enchanted with all the protective spells and charms I could find! *gives Nancy the bracelet***

_Um…that's just a plushie of Nancy…_

Padfoot- Don't worry Klaine Lover will get her back! And I'll give this to her when I see her!  
><strong><br>Ooooo! Guess what I got for Christmas! A new sewing machine! My last one broke. :( Sooo, I made you all pillows! Enjoy!**

Lily- Soft :)

**Sorry I didn;t update sooner. I was in the Hospital Wing with a bad cold. I snuck out so I could write to you guys. *glares at door* Stupid Twins with their idea to have an Epic Snowball Fight. -_- I'm prank the Hell out of them! *laughs evily, then starts having a coughing fit* Darn it! I can't laugh evilly! :( Have any ideas I could borrow?**

_Dye their hair vomit green :D _

Prongs- Give them love potions :D

Padfoot- Give them imaginary wedgies!

Moony- Wedgies?

Padfoot- Yeah :)

Moony- Yeah I don't wanna know

Did you guys have good New Year? Did you like the goodies I made you all?

_I did! _

Moony & Padfoot-*look at each other and smile*

Prongs- -_- It could've been better if Lily would have kissed me

Lily- Ew in your dreams!  
><strong><br>I've gotta head back to the Hospital Wing before they notice I'm gone. I would hug and kiss you guys goodbye, but I don't wanna get you sick.**

**Love,**

**Pheonix**

_Bye!_

Moony- Get well soon

Padfoot-*sends you a kiss*

Prongs- Bye!

Lily- Goodbye.

_Question 238 comes from _**A pissed off Gryffindor**

**Hello. I need some "assistance". I'm pissed off at a fellow student and some help "getting rid" of her/him. Any advice would be nice. **

Padfoot- KILL THEM!

Moony- O.O! So…violent…

**If you could give advice on making it look like an accident, that would be nice.**

Padfoot- Aww no killing :(

Prongs- Trip them down the stairs by shooting him a Hex and blaming it on someone else :)

Lily- Is that what you would do to Snape?

Prongs-*mock gasps* Of course not!

Lily- -_- I find that hard to believe…

Prongs- Oh my love! Anyways…you could also put Muggle laxatives in their drink!

_Ohhh good one :)__Hope one of these help!_

**sincerely,**

**A pissed off Gryffindor.**

**ps. I want to kill them if you didn't get my sublty...**

Prongs- Oh crap! You DO want to kill them?

Padfoot- :D Yay! Slip in some poison into their drink or shoot a killing curse from someone else's wand and frame them.

Prongs- Evil! :D

Moony- I'm worried for your sanities…

_Question 239 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**Hello, Lily, Wolfstar, Lizard and any others! **

_Hey! _

Prongs- 'SUP

Lily- Hello

Moony- ^-^!

Padfoot- Heeelloo

**So, Prongs, I must say, you have grown on me. **

Prongs- Oh why you flatter me :D

Lily- God you're so full of it -_-

Prongs- Of what awesomeness?

Lily- Suure.

**But I must request a Marauder Speciality Prank. What do you do to a homophobic girl who thinks my best bi friends want to perve on her? (She flatters herself) **

Prongs- Hmm…you get your bi friend to hit on her! Just to freak her out! :)

Moony- -_- Nice.

Prongs- That or laxatives :D

**And Sirius, I challenge you to a duel! A dance-off! Do you accept?**

**Padfoot- Yes! Yes I do! **

**Moony- O.o? **

_Random…_

_Question 240 comes from_** Klaine Lover**

**~Preview Of Next Scene~**

**Blaine: It's hot in here I think I'm going to faint. *pants***

**Kurt: Blaine honey I need you to be strong for me Wes David and Klaine Lover and Blaire.(this is Nancy Anderson's real name sound the same... Yes but she's a girl)**

**Blaine: I'll try. What about the glass?**

**Me: Blaine I'm trying to break it but nothing work. *hits glass with tonfas***

**Blaine: I can't hold it any longer. *faints***

**Everyone: BLAINE!**

**~End Of Preview~**

_Oh no! _

Padfoot- Blaine's too hot to die!

Prongs- How fitting.

Lily- Nooo!

Moony- I hope they rescue him!

_Question 241 comes from_** SetoXSara**

**Oh P.S. Can we just agree that Bella is insane, Jacob is a rip off of Padfoot ( last name: Black. Turns into dog. Drives a motorbike.) and Edward is a Pervy stalker? **

*everyone mumbling*

Moony- I can agree

Prongs- I've always agreed -_-

Lily- I agree too

_Me three_

Padfoot- Okay I guess we all agree…  
><strong><br>P.P.S. Gryffindor is going DOWN! Slytherin have the best team yet and we have an amazing strategy. Beware Chaser. Beware of this Slytherin chaser! -points at self and and squeals- ow my finger!**

Prongs- Hah! That's what you get! How dare you suggest we'll lose to some serperts? GRYFFINDOR FOREVER!

Padfoot- Yeah what he said!

Lily- Are we done yet?

_Yeah we are done…with this chapter I mean_.

Lily- Well other than the two noobheads it was nice.

Moony- Glad you liked it ^_^

_Okay well me have to go to sleep now =_= Tired *yawns* BYE!_

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know how long this Advice Column will be running for...hmm...well we'll get there when we get there :D Also after this I was thinking of making a Snap an James one lol and sometimes Lily and the pups would come over ^_^ Does tha sound good to anyone? <strong>


	26. Chapter 26

**OMG! 20 something freaking comments! :D I'm happy you guys care so much about this! I mean wow! I'm gone for a while and THIS happens! :O I'm sorry I promise to review-well right now :P**

* * *

><p><em>Përshëndetje and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot column <em>

_Question 242 comes from _**imSiriuslyLupin4you**

**WASSUP MUTHAFUCKAS? :D**

Padfoot- O.o? Hello…

Moony- YOOOO!

_Hello! :D *looks at Remus* O.o?  
><em>**  
>Mooooooony, I need you're adviiiiiiiice! What would you hypothetically do if Padfoot hypothetically almost cheated on you at a hypotgetical party but left the hypothetical party before he got the chance because his hypothetical friend made him leave? Not that that actually happened of course...<strong>

Padfoot- Well if that ever did happen I would chop off his manhood.

Moony- O.O!

Padfoot- Hypothesisly speaking of course.

Moony- Moony! I'm outraged how could you say that! After all we've been through! And don't you mean hypothetically speaking?

Padfoot- You're the one who cheated on me! Hippothetically speaking!

Moony- Hypothetically, I didn't!

Padfoot- Heretical you did

Moony- That isn't even an adverb!

_Wait I'm confused…_

Moony- Oh me and Moony kind of switched bodies :)

Padfoot- -_- Meaning I'm him and he's me.

_Whaaat? When did this happen?_

Padfoot- Yesterday during Flitwick's instructions—that mangy mutt over there decided not to pay attention!

Moony- Sorry Moony :(

Padfoot- Huh! -_- Sorry my arse!

Moony- :(

_Okaaay well while you guys are in the moment what was the answer again?_

Moony- the answer is he would chop off my bits though I doubt it

Padfoot-*growls*

Moony-*flinches* Okay I believe you never mind!

Padfoot- Good ^_^

_Whoa this is gonna take some getting used to :P_

_Question 243 comes from _**kali yugah**

Prongs*out of nowhere*- YOOOOO!

Padfoot_- James? _

Moony- Prongs? You Bambi! what are you doing here?

Prongs- Well since you're all mixed up I wanted to help :D

Moony- Oh whatever you moocher! Get your own Advice Column!

Prongs- -_-….Maybe I will!

Moony- Fine!

Prongs- Fine!

Moony- I'm glad your fine!

Prongs- I'm glad you're glad!

Moony- Okay

Prongs- Okay then

Moony- Fi—

Padfoot- SHUT UP!

Moony & Prongs- O.O!

**hmmm ok guys Pokémon are animated creatures from the future (1994 or around that time) and so far there are about 700 different kinds if Pokémon from 5 different areas called Kanto- Pokémon red/blue/yellow/fire red/leaf green ; Jhoto - Pokémon gold/silver/crystal/heart gold/soul silver ; Hoenn - Pokémon ruby/sapphire/emerald ; Sinnoh - Pokémon pearl/diamond/platinum and Unova - Pokémon black/white! and i can name all the legendries'! :)**

**from the top: mew;mewtwo;articuno;zapdos;moltres;ho-oh;lugia;suicune;raikou;entei;celebi;groudon;kyogre;jirachi;**

**rayquaza;manaphy;latios;latias;deoxys;regi-ice;regi-steel;regi-rock;mespirit;uxie;azelf;dialga;palkia;giratina;darkrai;cresselia;arceus;phione;reshiram;zerkrom;vicitni;thundurus;tornadus;landourus;terrakon;virizon;colbalion;kyurem; heatean; regigias;shaymin;keldeo;meoletta and genesect!**

Padfoot- Wow O.o

Prongs- This girl knows too much...

Moony- Imagine the size of her brain?

Moony & Prongs- O_O…

Padfoot- Ignoring the two idiots. Thank you for explaining it to us!

_Yeah. *hands you a Pokémon ball* Go catch 'em all! _

_Question 244 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

***sits on chair thinking on how I continue the story***

Padfoot- Hello

Prongs- Hey!

Moony- 'Sup Blood?

**Oh I didn't see you there sorry. :P**

**I'm thinking alright Blaine fainted how am I going to continue it anyway.**

**Oh I know that's when someone breaks the glass.**

**Hey guys Blaine's not dead he just fainted. He's alive.**

Prongs- OH THANK GOD!

*everyone stares at Prongs*

Prongs-*blushes* I mean—not that _I _cared…

**Have you guys read Until My Dying Breath, Kitty and Puppy! Klaine fics and Cheerio and Nerd! Klaine yet? Cause I recommend it in my previous review.**

*everyone*- Er…

AWKWARD SILENCE ENSURES

**Hmmm I hate bullying. -.- *takes in deep breath and stare at Sirius and James* STOP BEING MEAN TO SNAPE HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! THE NEXT TIME IF I FOUND OUT THAT YOU GUYS BULLY HIM DON'T BE SHOCK THAT YOU GUYS ARE CHAINED TO YOU OWN BED WITH AN INVISIBLE FORCE MINUS YOUR DICKS!**

**Please ask Moony Padfoot James to go out. Thank you**

Prongs- Fine fine *sighs*

Moony- Why do we always have to leave?

Padfoot- Shut up Sirius

**THOSE TWO ARE THE REASON WHY SNAPE DIED(except Remus and Lily) HE'S NICE TO LILY SO WHAT IS HE'S A SLYTHERIN HE IS TRYING HOUSE UNITY WITH LILY SO ALL THE HOUSES WOULD NOT FIGHT ALL THE TIME. But in the end almost everybody died.  
>They can come in already. <strong>

Prongs- That didn't take that long

**So Sirius and James I hope that you guys would stop bullying that's my confrontational to the both of you and the threat I would do it if you guys dare bully anyone. *turns to Moony and Lizard* Tell me if they bullied anyone so I will keep to my threat.**

_Okey dokey :D _

Padfoot- Sure thing

Moony- TRAITOR!

Padfoot- -_- I'm not a traitor.

Prongs- Says the traitor!

_:P _

_Question 245 comes from_ **RemmyBlack**

***close up on Remmy. Eye twitches, her face is so crazed that the army of crocidiles and pigeons behind her back slowly away* And...why...is...it...on...Snape? *clicks fingers and Random Axe of Kindness appears in her arms* You..shall...pay...*whispers something to the armies of neverending crocidiles and pigeons behind her, one crocidile and pigeon goes off to find James...the rest chase Sirius and Remus, 90% of them chasing Sirius* Never mess with an army of animals *evil laugh here* **

Prongs & Moony & Padfoot- AAHHHHHHH!  
><strong><br>Popcorn, Lizard? **

_Um no thanks._

**Don't worry, the most my armies will do is humilate them and maybe knock Sirius unconcious and they know not to attack you. Just be glad these are freshwater crocidiles and not alligators or saltwater crocidiles cause those one are . And well-fed pigeons.**

_I see…Well might as well enjoy the view :D_

***gives you another chocolate cake and a present that turns into anything you want as long as its harmless* Sorry, but I can't let you be my competition now, can I?**

_O.o? Okay I'm bribed :D *eats cake*  
><em>_**  
><strong>_**AND TO ANYONE WHO HURTS MY ARMY OF ANIMALS, THEY WILL PAY DEEPLY FOR IT! IMAGINE THE MOST HORRIBLE THING YOU CAN IMAGINE AND MULTIPLY IT BY INFINITY TO GET THE TYPE OF PAIN I'M TALKING ABOUT! **

*everyone*- O_o!

***huggles Random Axe of Kindness(RAOK)* It's ok, you are a good axe, those mean wizards just don't know how to appreciate you. No they don't. *back to Lizard***

**What's your favourite pie?**

_PUMPKIN! :D_

**And to Sirius (if you aren't to busy escaping my army of crocidiles and pigeons) don't kill pigeons anymore, out of all animals, they are most likely to take over the world. If I give them free therapy (yes, they have those...don't believe me? THEN YOU OBVIOUSLY HADN'T SEEN A DEPRESSED PIGEON BEFORE!), I'm second in command :)**

Moony- Okaaay I won't.

**Deals, I know how to make them :)**

Moony- O.o?**  
><strong>_O.O?_

**Also, none of you take this as a representation of how Australians are...because I AM UNIQUE! I mean, you wouldn't want people to think all English people are snobs, do you?**

Padfoot- People think _we're_ snobs?

Prongs- You're unique?

Moony- You're Australian?

**And Lizard, since I don't know what nationality you are, I'm going to say 'American' because I think that was what it said on your profile. You wouldn't want people to think you are an arrogant humorless idiot, would you?**

_Ouch. :( Actually I am American :D but my parents were born in Mexico. Just so you know :)  
><em>**  
>Yes, I was stereotyping there, but it was to prove a point! And I never said I 'thought' that...just in case someone reviews and goes all 'politically correct' on me.<strong>

_Hopefully no one will you can state your opinions here we won't hate on you _

Padfoot- Yeah.

Prongs- Except if you're Snape :D

Padfoot & Lizard- -_-

Prongs- :/

Moony- :D

**And to offer apologies to Lizard (I am NOT calling of my armies), I bring her infintiy cake that will never make her gain weight...I never half do something...unless it's maths...then I will half..wait, no that's true. I mostly just guess with maths **

_Ugh me too_

Moony- What's math?

_-_- I hate you…__**  
><strong>_**  
><strong>**-_- Lizard, are you going to introduce the wizards to some TV shows so that when we say something, they are not so confused? *eats ice-cream that randomly appeared***

_Um sure…_

_Okay Gossip Girl is about some people and stuff happens to them and they all do it or something _

_GLEE is kids dancing and singing covers and fighting stereotypes or something_

_Barney is this giant purple dinosaur that comes from your imagination _

_The Simpsons is about yellow people with four fingers and stuff_

_Family Guy is about a family guy who has balls on his chin and is full of lots of parodies_

_So is Robot chicken. Okay got all that?_

*everyone*- *blank stares*

_Okay :D good! Moving on…_

**DARE TIME!**

**Try saying stuff where the second sentence has to rhyme with the end of the first.**

**E.g 'I ate blue ice cream. Then I joined a tennis team.'**

**Something like ^ that. You don't have to do it if you don't want to, it was just a suggestion :) because I'm bored and give random uneeded suggestions when I'm bored.**

_Okay I got one! You know who should go out Snape and James. Together they'd be Snames. :D _

Prongs- -_-

_Wasn't that great?_

Prongs- No, I don't agree with that. Snape is ugly and fat.

_No he's not. You two together are perfectly hot. _

Prongs- Yuck I say! Way to ruin my day!

_-_- Shut up! You are so in denial._

Prongs- Hah! You lost! I won! But… at what cost? :D

Moony- Can we, like, move on now?

_Sure thing -_- _

_Question 246 comes from_ **SetoXSara**

**-flies in on broomstick- Hello Gryffindors! And Hufflepuff XD -lands- So first off, Lizard, I apologise for insulting Hufflepuff, because I have come to the realization that my brother is a Hufflepuff. **

_Yeah I thought so! _

**Second, -cheerleader group- R! E! M M Y! Join our group or you will die! Remmy Black, talking to you, fix the statue or be BLUE! -done- **

**Okay, now, let me explain my randomness for the dance off. I have always wanted to have a dance off with Padfoot to Moves Like Jagger, where we would dance together at the end, sooooo...**

**-room changes to disco place- you first. -music starts at chorus before woman sings- -watches him dance before woman sings- -jumps forward and pushes him back- you wanna know, what makes smile, -smirks- take control of me just for the night -body rolls- and if I share my secret -put finger to lips- you're gonna have to keep it, nobody can see this -spins and does epic street dancing- yeah! -pulls him into circle and dances to the end- awesome! high five!**

Moony- :D I did good!

**Well, just cos your all going to eat loads of fatty sugary treats -rains jam doughnuts- SEE YA!**

*everyone*- YAYYY!

_We are gonna get sooo virtually fat by the time this Advice Colum is finished!_

Padfoot- I know right?

_Question 247 comes from _**Snickerdoodle Black**

**An advice column with Severus Snape (greasy Slytherin git) and James Potter (egotistical Gryffindor imp) answering questions together? Sounds like a disastrous and hilarious calamity waiting to happen. Exactly my kind of story. Go for it! :D**

_Should I? :D You think? _

Prongs- :( But why do I have to share it with hiiimmm*whines and stomps feet*

_-_- You're always in this one so…_

Prongs-*pouts*  
><strong><br>News on the guy who fancies me: I turned him down, but I don't think he can stand being single anymore because now he's asking out all my female friends, all his female friends, he even asked out his female twin enemies! I find this amusing.  
><strong>Padfoot- That's weird…

Prongs- Whoa he's desperate!

Moony- So are you mate. :D

Prongs-*gasps* I am NOT!

Moony- :D

**QUESTION: Moony, since you're super smart and blush adorably, can you tell me where babies come from? *pwease? adorable face* Padfoot, Prongs, no tainting his answer! Rawr!**

Padfoot- Well babies come from the vagina.

Prongs & Moony- O.o?

Padfoot- ^_^

Prongs- Er….how exactly…?

Moony- Yeah I mean what happened to storks?

Padfoot- -_- Man you guys are kids! A sperm and an egg come together the baby forms in the womb then when its 9 months old it comes out through the vagina.

Prongs- Ouch. That's gotta hurt.

Moony- So it's like taking a HUGE dump?

Padfoot-…Uh…sure.

Prongs & Moony- Interesting…

Padfoot- -_-?

**Anyhoo... Umm... Oh yeah! Marauders! Have you ever played The Penis Game? It's where everybody takes turns saying penis, getting louder and louder each time, until eventually you're practically screaming it. The game ends when someone gets in trouble by a teacher/adult for shouting naughty things.**

_I have! _

Prongs- I haven't :P

Padfoot- I have!

Moony- So have I! Haha! Prongsie you're the loser!

**That's really all I have to say for now. Update soon or I'm gonna kidnap Sirius and make him my prison bitch! :3 Mwahahahaa!**

_Oops too late _

Moony- -_- you suck!

_:D Sorreee!_

**Hugs and threatening glares,**

Moony & Padfoot & Prongs- O.o

**Snickerdoodle Black, Magical All-Knowing Goddess of Hats and Rapist of Unicorns!** ^^

*everyone*- O.O!

_Question 248 comes from _**LadyMarauderYoung**

**Alo! (That's Albanian for Hello!)**

Padfoot- Konichiwa that's Japanese for hello :)

Moony- Stop trying to upstage our reviewer!

_Wait a minute…Moony?_

Prongs- They switched back?

Moony- I guess the idiot only did it temporarily.

Padfoot- Aww and I was gonna have a wank after this :P

Moony- -_= *eye twitch*

**My friend Xhesi is teaching me Albanian because I'm going to go there on holiday with her and her family soon! I can't wait! Sure you can use the nickname, as long as it will annoy him! I still can't believe you guys think I'm Lily (insert sarcastic eye roll here)!**

Prongs- HAH! Sarcasm that's what Lily lives for!

_Let it go James -_-_

**Oh well, worse people to be compared to.**

Prongs- Like Snape :D

_Didn't Klaine Lover tell you to- _

Prongs- She said bullying this isn't bullying

…_.-_-_

**Anyway I'm gonna ask two RANDOM questions! I'm a bit hyper at the moment because I'm tired...Ummm...**

Padfoot- Aren't you tired when you're tired?

Moony- No Siri, that's not what she meant.

Padfoot- Oh…

**What do you want to be when you're older (and why)?**

Prongs& Padfoot- AUROR!

Prongs & Padfoot- Hey! Jinx!

Prongs & Padfoot- Double Jinx!

Prongs & Padfoot- Trip—

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- Sorry Moony! Anyways I want to be an Auror because you get to hunt down bad guys like Voldemort

Prongs- And it might impress Lily.

Padfoot- Yeah—whatever

_I want to be a writer ever since I was in 6th grade I've been writing :P And no I didn't want to because of Harry Potter I didn't read that 'till freshman year!_

Padfoot- No one's saying anything

_-_- Shut up!_

Moony- I've always wanted to be a teacher like Professor Dumbledore.

Padfoot- Ew why?

Moony-*blushes* I don't know I just like teaching kids.

Prongs- Yeah I guess you could do that

Padfoot- yeah you already tutor all those first years.

Moony- Yeah…except I'm a monster.

Padfoot- -_- You're not a monster Moony.

Prongs- Yeah you'll be a awesome teacher!

_YEAH! _

Moony- -_- If you say so…

_Oh we know so!  
><em>**  
>What does your bedroom look like? Hehe - I'm not perving...just curious. Mine's pink...disgusting and vile! It's been like that since I was 7...Well...<strong>

_I like pink… :/_

Prongs- Ew!

_Ignoring him- my room is pale whiteish yellowish color there is nothing on them except the little Chinese frame that has the symbol of love on it and a nail where my Chocalate Lover's calendar used to be. I also have a buch of crap on the wall where my bed is pressed against I have song lyrics, animes I like, and doodles. :P Not much _

Prongs- Geez write a book will you?

_-_- Fine Mr. Simple what do you have?_

Prongs- Well I share mine with four other boys so…its messy

Moony- It smells sometimes

Padfoot- There's a red stain on the ceiling for some reason…

Prongs- And its red with gold. GRIFFYNDORRR!

_-_- Nice._

**BYE BYE**  
><strong>Lauren!<strong>

Everyone- BYEEEE!

**P.S - Thanks for the congrats on the exam grade :)**

_You're welcome :)_

_Question 249 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Hello!**

_Hi _

Padfoot- Hey

Prongs- Hello

Moony- Hi  
><strong><br>Hmmm, a James and Snape column... Has potential... **

Prongs- Does it? :D

_-_- Hippogriff…  
><em>**  
>Aw, James gave you guys your presents? :( *puts down a loaded shotgun* <strong>

**Prongs- Whoa! Was she about to shot me? :O **

_:D Maaayyybbeee_

Prongs- O.o!

**Anyway, guess what? *waits for everyone to guess***

Padfoot-…you got six inches taller?

Prongs- You realized James Potter is the best thing since sliced bread?

Moony- -_-

**I got the Twins sick! Mostly by accident though. See, I sneezed on Fred to infect him, but I accidently coughed up some snot and it flew into George's mouth and he swallowed it. Gross, but funny. **

_Gross! :P_

Prongs- But funny!

Padfoot- We have twins too at this Hogwarts Fabian and Gideon but their nice blokes and all…

Moony- What do you mean nice? They stole all my frogs :(

Padfoot- Oh sorry Moons, I guess their troublemakers too.

Prongs- But not as good as us :D

Padfoot- Yeah we the best! :D

**Now they're in the Hospital Wing. Now I can set up the pranks! *epic evil laugh* Wow, that was scary. I freaked myself out. Excuse me for a sec, I need to go get Snuffles... *leaves* *Two hot, identical, sick redheaded twins enter and start typing***

**Fred: Hello, I'm Fred and this is George.**

Padfoot- Hello I'm Sirius Orion Black you may kiss my feet.

Prongs- And I'm James Potter you may also kiss my feet.

Moony- I'm Remus John Lupin and you may smack them across the face. -_-  
><strong><br>George: It is such an Honor to meet you both. You guys are pranking Gods.**

Padfoot-*not the least bit modest* Welll….

Prongs- Wow… :D *ego boost by 110%*  
><strong><br>Fred: We idolize you. We need-**

**George: Your help. Phoenix is going to-**

**Fred: Prank us. A lot. I think this is going to be another Prank War.**

Prongs- My favorite :D

**George: Well, we were wondering if you guys could suggest some Marauder grade pranks. *footsteps***

Prongs- Sneak a dungbomb into the Girls' Dormitory!

Padfoot- Fill her shampoo with vomit green hair dye!

Prongs- Or bewitch her comb so it won't brush her hair for a month!  
><strong><br>Fred: Fuck! She's coming back. We know she'll see this and use some of the pranks on us-**

**George: But we don't care. Bye! *they both flee***

***Phoenix enters holding a careworn black dog with a missing eye***

***looks at screen, and laughs***

**Nice. Anyway, thanks for your ideas. They will be used. Padfoot, what's your problem with Lily?**

Padfoot- I don't have a problem! *in denial* Why does everyone think I have a problem?

Moony- Pads you are pretty angry when she's around…

Padfoot- So? Maybe I'm just mad my best mate is falling for some girl and we might not see each other as much…

Prongs- Aww Padfoot, you care :D about me?

Padfoot- Well yeah duh-

Prongs- We would still hang out you know. I mean how do you think I felt when you and Moony got together?

Padfoot- Oh—right. I never thought about it that way…

_-_- Really never has it occurred to you that its practically the same? _

Padfoot- No!

_:P You suck! _

**Hmmm, Just Curious, (and feeding my fangirl obsesion and fantasies) Sirus, do you like to be tyed up? I see Remus does. ;)**

Padfoot- No!

Moony- Yes as long as he still tops.

Padfoot- Moony!*embarrassed*

Moony- ;)

**Sorry about Nancy. I thought it would work. Sorry, Sirius. :(**

Padfoot- It's okay I heard **Viper's Little Devil** was busting her out anyways

**Well, double the hugs and kisses. Blows Sirius a kiss. *gives Remus a large book of sex spells and positions as a thank you for wishing I got better soon***

Moony- Er…

Padfoot- Oohh I know what I'm doing tonight!

Moony & Prongs & Lizard- O.o!

**Much Love,**

**Phoenix (Fred and George, too)**

_Bye! _

Moony- Bye and thank you

Padfoot- bye!

Prongs- Adios!

_Question 250 comes from _**Psycho Woman from Awhile Back**

**HI! ! I'm BACK! **

Padfoot- Um…hello?

Moony- Hello…

Prongs- Who's this again?

_Shh James! Hello! _

***crazy laugh* No, Siriusly, I'm taking my meds now. So, I'm pretty sane now. :D**

Prongs- Hey wait! Ahhhh!*gets kinapped*

*everyone*- O.o!

**-muffled screams in the background- Oh, don't worry James and Severus will be back soon. Soon as I'm done with them. (FYI next time u update, they will b back. So update soon! *evil, crazy laugh*) Bye-Bye! *grabs Sirius, kisses and molests him* *grabs Moony, then Lizard and does the same thing* *leaves* Now, I'll let y'all go if u guys fuck! **

**Prongs: Never! He's a greasy large nose snake! *slaps him* **

**Snape: HELP! HELP**

_What…just happened?_

Padfoot- Well at least we're alone again?*optimistic*

Moony- Yeah I guess. *shrugs*

O.o?

_Question 251 comes from _**MarisaCan'tRememberHerPassword**

_I put your name in if that's okay I recognized your writing :D _

**Me: Stupid thing went haywire! *punches black box surrounding laptop***

**Albus: Yeah we tried to communicate but the magic got in somehow.**

**Me: Took us ages to fix..**

**Albus: Anyway.**

**Me: Well, I didn't have to lie to get Goyle expelled anyway. He kind of... started to...**

**Albus: Come on to her.**

Padfoot & Moony & Lizard- Ew!  
><strong><br>Me: And he wasn't exactly subtle. *shudders* But he did go to Azkaban #2. He'll be there for 6 months, and he's been expelled.**

Padfoot- Nice.  
><strong><br>Albus: A-hem... Moving on from that topic!**

**Me: Aaaand I finally got that Ravenclaw boy to get back with James!**

Moony- Aww yay!

Padfoot- Atta boy James! Your grandpa would be proud!...Sorta…

**Albus: Tell them how.**

**Me: Uhh...**

**Albus: Tell them!**

**Me: It had something to do with a threat, a refusal, and a suitcase. But he's happy now! Don't hate me!**

Moony- Don't threaten people!

Padfoot- Yeah no love potions either!

**Albus: And she wanted me to ask how spontaneous you guys were...**

**Me: What! I was curious. I mean, I just bought a gumball machine from a Muggle store. And the store keeper just looked at me and asked why I was being so spontaneous**.

_Spontaneous? Well I say I'm not I blend in. _

Padfoot-*snorts* Muggles

Moony- I have to agree with Lizard I'm not very flashy plus I'm part Muggle.

Padfoot- Well I am! :D

**Albus: *facepalm* Whatever. And we made you guys a Butterbeer flavoured ice cream cake.**

**Me: The house elves did.**

**Albus: Well we came up with the idea! *sulks***

Moony- Well it's the thought that counts right?

Padfoot- I'll eat it!

**Me: Well I am suddenly craving chocolate.**

**Albus: It's not sudden, you're always craving chocolate!**

Moony- Me too! *high fives her*

**Me: True! But shove off. Bye!**

Padfoot- Bye!

Moony- Bye!

_Bye bye! _

_Question 252 comes from __**Nancy Black **_

_Nancy? _

Padfoot- NANCY!

Moony- Wait a minute…

***comes in running like a puppy dog, holding her cellphone in her mouth***

**Arf Arf.**

Padfoot – How smart!

Moony- What? What did she say?

Padfoot- She said "I used my phone to turn them into dogs and got away"

**Arf Arf**

**Moony- Now what? **

Padfoot- "Dady pleae change me back" Hmmm…*pushes a random button*

Nancy-*human form* DADDY!

Padfoot- My daughter!

_*as they hug that one song that goes "Reunited and it feels so good" comes on* _

_Awww…_

5 MINUTES LATER

_Okay guys back on track. _

Padfoot- Fine all this hugging has my arms sore anyways.

_Question 253 comes from_ **livesinlibrary4012**

_This is Aka CANT LOGIN if you've forgotten *cough cough* Padfoot *cough* _

Padfoot- I have not!

_Whatever _

**Just one question before I begin; Who is "Snap?" Is he a new student or somep'n?**

_:P I meant Snape sorry I'm only Muggle! :(*weeps in the corner* _

Padfoot- Haha FAIL!

**Okay, well, could you PLEEEASE (and I'm down on m'knees beggin' here) keep Bambi-boy in for this last chapter? [No offense, Lily, but] You don't have to keep Lily in because right now I'm focused on Prongs.**

**Um okay but he was kidnapped so….**

Padfoot- I'll Accio him!

*Accios Prongs*

Prongs- OH THANK GOD! I couldn't take no more!

_What happened?_

Prongs-*shudders* I don't want to talk about it O.o anyways what? What?

**PROOONGS! I'M SOOO SORRY! I FEEL SAD FOR- WELL NOT SAD FOR you BUT SORRY BECAUSE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR SPECIAL CHAPTER, YOUR SPECIAL DAY, AND MY REVIEW WAS FILLED WITH THINGS AND QUESTIONS FOR THEEEM! WAAAAAAH! I'M SOO SORRY! **

Prongs- It's okay :)

**Haha well I am sorry, but not sorry enough to cry.**

Prongs- Aww… :P

Padfoot- Ha-ha!

**(Seriously, sometimes I get all babbly and hyper when I'm sad.) WELL. Enough about that. This column will be all about YOUUU! I guess the rest you can stay (your choice, Lizard) but NO INTERRUPTING OR I WILL RUN AT YOU WITH A REAL BUTTER KNIFE AND FLICK HAIR ELASTICS AT YOU AND BECOME THE TERROR OF YOUR LIIIIVES! Well, for this chapter, anyway.**

Everyone- ….!

**I have a present for you, Bambi-boy! I actually have presents for all of you, but since it's your special day, I'll send the rest by owl. Prongs gets a picture of Elton John with a button that makes him sing. Comes with flowers, and a machine that will bring you anything you want if you put a picture in its database. (I stole Phineas and Ferb's blueprints.) **

Prongs- Cool I'll go find my picture of Lily later!

**Lizard gets one of these machines, too, because I don't know what she likes. **

_Oh me like this :D _

**YAY! (If you're curious, Moony gets Chocolate cake and a copy of my Animorphs book collection. Padfoot gets a motorcycle helmet and fries.)**

Padfoot- Yay!

Moony- Thank you ^_^  
><strong><br>Prongs, you've had a similar problem before. There's this boy in two of my classes and I kinda like him. I already know he likes someone else because he told me. I love that he trusted me enough to tell me, but what can I do to get over it?**

Prongs- You can't once you love someone that's all there is to it

Moony-No-*shuts his mouth*

Prongs-*smiles* See? Even Moony agrees :D

Moony-*shakes his head*

**I also need a huge prank for my brother that won't harm his health, maybe a prank that might get him in trouble. If possible, one that my parents would not know I did, but my brother would. Simplicity would be appreciated**

Prongs- Get a plastic wrap those Muggles use and cover the toilet with it. Heh heh That way when he sits down…

Everyone- O.o!

**I can has jokes, rite? Yes? No? Yes. This girl in my French class drew a manga picture of Link holding his shield and pointing his sword up in the air. In big red letters, the caption easily read "THIS IS ZELDAAA!" Instead of "Sparta," you know. I was gigglin' all day 'cause of that!**

Prongs- That sounds pretty funny—if only I knew what Link and Zelda meant

**What about riddles? Can I has riddles? **

Prongs- Sure

**Mmkay, in the Medieval Times, you are a thief convicted of treason. The fair king lets you choose your own way to die. Which way would you choose?**

Prongs- The easy way?

**If the regular crowd is shuffling in, and there's an old man sitting next to you on the piano bench, and he's drinkin' tonic and gin, what time and day is it?**

Prongs- Its Happy Hour

**I kmjiuunmk,u**

**fjicfnr jfrcklidjushju7r4fgyt68dohjhu**

**Sorry I fell asleep on my keyboard [AGAIN] and noticed this was open (it's a wonder I didn't close it with my face!) so I definitely had to finish it!**

Prongs- Um okay…

**Is this Advice Column review sufficient to your standards, oh great one? **

Prongs- Yes yes it is

**Naw, just kiddin', Nidoking! Mmkay, byyyye!**

Prongs- Bye!

**P.S. What does "glomp' mean?**

Prongs- What fangirls do when they see me :D

_Okay that's it! *sends him away back to the Psycho Lady from Awhile Back* _

Prongs- Noooo!

_Question 254 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Blaine: It's hot in here, I think I'm gonna faint. *pants***

Padfoot & Moony- Blaine!:O

**Kurt: Blaine baby you need to stay strong for me, Klaine Lover, Wes, David and Blair**

**Blaine: I'll try. What about the glass?(Blair died cause Sebastian killed her Sebastian's still alive) Sis dead.**

_That's terrible! _

**Me: The glass won't break no matter how hard I hit it. *hit glass with tonfas***

**Blaine: I can't hold it any longer. *faints***

**Everyone: BLAINE!**

**Kurt: Blaine wake up! Don't scare me like that! Blaine please wake up!**

**Me: Damn it! *hits glass harder***

**Kurt: I'll get you out of here if that's the last thing I'll do!* scratches glass***

**Me: Kurt! Here use this! *throws real necklaces***

**Kurt: What? How do I use this?**

**Me: Put Blaine's one on the floor and wear mine.**

**Kurt: Okay. *puts Blaine's necklace on the floor and puts on Klaine Lover necklace***

**Me: EVERYONE DUCK!**

**The Glass Breaks**

**Me: Yes! It worked!**

Everyone- *cheers*

**Wes: How do you know that it'll work?**

**Me: I don't know but it's worth to try.**

**Kurt&Me: Blaine! Blair! *runs to them***

**Blair: Klaine Lover I can't last any longer you need to save Blaine. He've been raped by Sebastian.**

**Me: The police just arrested him. We'll save Blaine what about you.**

**Blair: It won't work. I'm dying anyway.**

**Me: No you won't die you won't leave Blaine like your parents did by being killed by a serial killer.**

**Blair: No Klaine Lover listen to me! Sebastian manage to stab me in the stomach and chest so I'll die by protecting my younger brother.**

**Me: *tears running down face* Please you need to be strong too.**

**Blair: *closes eyes* Sorry. Tell Blaine that I love him that I'll be watching him from where I am. *dies***

**Me: Blair wake up! *search for heartbeat* shit she just died. *cries* Blair.**

Padfoot-*cries*

Moony-*pats his back reassuringly*

**Policeman 1: Please your cousin died for protecting her brother.**

**Kurt: Blaine wake up. You sister died. Please don't leave me like you family did to you.**

**Me: Let's go back to Dalton let the police handle the work here.**

**Policeman 1: We need to bring this boy to the hospital for checkups.**

**Me: Please Blaine hates the hospital. He been raped by the culprit and stabbed his sister witha knife in the chest and stomach happy with the information?**

**Policeman 1: Okay I'll let you guys go now.**

**Me: Thank you officer.**

**~End Of Episode~**

**I killed Blaine's sister. ;A; I'm sorry for those who liked her.**

Padfoot- You murderer… :D It was awesome!

**Will Blaine ever wake up? (I don't even know this answer)**

**Will Kurt ever reveal the truth for who he really is?**

**Will Wevid not be insane?**

**When Blaine wake up will he get over what happened to his family? (Heck I still don't even know the answer to this)**

**That's all for today.**

**I show a preview for the next scence. See you guys later.**

Everyone- Bye!

_Question 255 comes from—Oh wait it's the preview of the next scene! _

**Preview of next scene~**

**-At Dalton-**

**Me: Why did Blaine last family member just left him alone? First his father and mother, then his grandmother and grandfather, then his uncles and aunties. Now Blair I'm the only one left to be there for him!**

**Kurt: We don't know Klaine Lover. We just don't know.**

**Me: Blaine's family are also killed by Death Eaters.**

**Kurt& Wevid: 0.0 Whut?**

**Me: Yup it' true.**

**Blaine: *groan***

**Me: Oh Blaine's waking up.**

**~End Of Preview~**

**Well I hope you all like the preview and episode.**

**Gifts time!**

**I'm suprise that you all ate finish the cake. I not very good at but you all said it's nice. Thank you *bows***

Padfoot- No it was delicious I ate and ate and ate

Moony- Pig!

Padfoot- :D

**Padfoot: A muggle photo frame of you and James speeding in Lima Ohio trying to find Blaine and Blair. I can't believe you guys did that. Thank you for trying.**

Padfoot- You're welcome

**Moony: A laptop. Don't put it on you lap it may cause cancer. I heard it from my sister.**

Moony- I'll keep that in mind…

**Nancy(if she's back): A muggle photo album to put your happy memories.**

Nancy- Finally I get to talk I haven't said anything!

_Oh yeah sorry forgot about you :D Heh heh _

Nancy- Thanks…*glares at Lizard*

**Lily: A bead hairband made by Blainers and Kurtie to thank you for supporting them. Here's a picture I took when they are making out.**

Moony- I'll give it to Lily when I see her.

**Klaine: Hey!**

**Me: :P deal with it people love you all.**

**James: An awesome new robe that will make you fly without your broom.**

Padfoot- Whoa epic! I _might_ give it to him when I see him :)  
><strong><br>Thank you. :)**

Everyone- Bye (again!)

_Question 256 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**eye twitches- P... S... Are you... hinting at -spits- Snames! -shudders- **

_:D Um…yes :DDDD?_

**NONONONONONONONO! -stamps foot and ground shakes before masses of clones come out of the ground holding bows and arrows- Sasserias. These are Sasserias and Durgas and Tigres. Sasserias are Greek Princesses, Durga is the Hindu warrior Goddess, and Tigre is the Tiger Goddess. Snames? You really wanna go down that road? HMMMM? Arrows up! -arrows poised- We're ready -everything goes black and an evil laugh fades-**

_Hey now let's not get violent! :O! _

Padfoot- Haha sucks to be you!

_Question 257 comes from _**The now very happy Gryffindor**

**I'd like to thank you, Padfoot and Prongs for ur ideas. I used another person's wand(someone I hated of course), hexed the person and made them fall a number of stairs.**

Padfoot- Alright! Nice job!

Moony- Can't say I approve but if you're happy…

_Question 258 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**HI! **

Everyone- Hello! Happy Late ass Valentine's day!

**I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valintine's Day! *hands everyone heartshaped boxes of chocolates* here's 3 boxes for Lily, Prongs, and Severus. **

Padfoot- Luckies!

_Wow none of those people are here right now…_

**:) I got some pranks in! I turned the Twins stuff bright pink, u know 'cause of Valentine's Day? I thought it was festive, but Minnie didn't think so.**

Padfoot- Ah Minnie can go suck a toe!

Moony- -_-

**:( Then I turned their skin Slytherin green and their hair electric blue. *laughs* To get me back, they turned my stuff yellow with brown polka dots. Then they turned me into rainbow colors, even my hair! **

Padfoot-*shrugs* You win some I win all

Moony- -_ - That's not how it goes!

Padfoot- Whateves…

**Well, my next plan in to convince them to eat my laxative chocolate muffins. Here I made you all a batch of them. Don't eat them, or u'll be going every half hour! **

Moony- You hear that Pads, don't be a hog!

Padfoot- Okay okay! I won't!

***hands u pictures of the Twins wearing pink robes and uniform and a short girl with dark dirty blonde laughing and rolling around on the floor and angry Proff. McGonagall; pictures of Fred and George green with blue hair, the girl(me, FYI) a walking rainbow laughing at each other; Me wearing a yellow and brown polka dotted uniform* Enjoy! There is more to come! Hugs and Kisses! Love, Phoenix**

Everyone- Byeee!

_Question 259 comes from_ **Klaine Lover**

**Happy Valentine's day everyone! :)**

Everyone- Happy Valentine's day!

**Wevid and Klaine: Happy Valentine's day! :)**

**Silly Love Songs starts playing.**

**Me: *humming to tune* Sing it guys! Blaine sang it with the warblers and I sang it when I first reviewed.**

**Gifts time!**

**Moony: Chocolate cake from a secret admire *wink wink***

Moony- Thank you! :D

**the guys cute but he didn't have the courage to give it to you.**

Padfoot- -_-

**Padfoot: Chocolate! Use it well. Just joking.**

Padfoot-Hmmm *smirks at Remus*

**Prongs: White chocolate(my favourite type of chocolate)!**

**Lily: Dark Chocolate and an Elton John CD! Yay! And a file! Klaine FTW**

Padfoot- I'll give these to them when I see them

**Lizard: Three different type of chocolate pool! Chocolate fondue! Woots!**

_:D OH YEAAAAH! _

**I went crazy and pissed at the warblers.**

**Wevid: It's not our fault!**

**Me: Senastian putted fucking rock salt in the slushy and it cut Blaine's cornea now he needs oparation on his eyes.**

**Blaine: Klaine Lover I know that you're upset. It'll be okay.**

**Me: I hope so.**

_Spoiler: He's fine! :D _

Padfoot- -_- Must you ruin everything?

_:D _

**But Happy Valentine Day minna.**

Everyone- Bye!

_Question 260 coms from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Hi!**

Everyone- Hi!

**One last thing...**

***whips out wand and turns everyone pink then pulls out a camera and takes a picture; blinding Lizard, Sirius, and Moony for a second***

_Oi! That was totally uncalled for! *secretly hates taking pictures*_

Moony- Ouch my super sensitive werewolf eyes

Padfoot- Ow.  
><strong><br>Oooooooooooo! Wait until I show this to Gred and Forge this! *giggles* *turns everyone back to normal***

**I give you guys a picture when I develop it!**

**Love you all,**

**Becky- I mean, Phoenix! Phoenix! Forget I said that! *mutters* I should not have said that! I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT!**

Padfoot- Hahaha Bye Becky!

Moony- Bye Becky ^_^

_Beckyyyyy! _

_Question 261 comes from _**Psycho Woman from Awhile Back**

**Ugh! here *throws a traumatized James and Severus towards Lizard* I can't take it! I GIVE UP! ! They refuse to do anything. :( But it was kind fun while it lasted. *grabs Sirius, and Moony and molest and kiss them***

**Bye,**

**Psycho out! Peace!**

_O.O! _

Padfoot- Did you have fun? :D

Prongs- Bugger off -_-

Moony- :D Hi James.

Prongs- -_- you guys are NOT funny

_:D _

_Question 262 comes from _**wolves2152**

**Ello hola bonjour knochwa... I don't know any others!**

_Me neither if it makes you feel any better :P _

**Anyway I was wondering what's one food you would die. Besides all the cake and chocolate? **

Moony- Licorice Wands.

Padfoot- Unicorn Turds

Prongs- Lily's cooking

Padfoot- Lily doesn't cook!

Prongs- _Yet!  
><em>**  
>I like sweet smelly hearts... Hmmm hearts!<strong>

**Lastly I'm debating on my favorite animal. I like wolves because who doesn't like wolves ( dogs included)**

Prongs- I like deer

Padfoot & Moony- -_-

**Then there's my favorite owls... And ...**

**... But please don't try to kill me. I've been devolving a love for ... Snakes. Please help!**

Padfoot- SLYTHERIN!

Prongs- GET THEM!

_Hey! No! Stop!_

**(p.s to author even if you don't respond I still wanted to post this)**

_*gasp* As if I wouldn't respond! _

Padfoot- -_- You do take forever…

_Shut up! _

_Question 263 comes from _**Random Fangirl**

**Y U No Update Sooner? Ur fans miss yous! Ur being a bad author u r! But, I still love u...**

_-_-… Love you too Shroom _

_Question 264 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Quickly update if not I'll will never reveal what supernatural creature he is! *the most evil laughter anyone heard* Mwahahahahaha**

**Yay Blaine's been found. I love him so much that he will never get kidnap again. If I'm bored maybe he'll get kidnap again and killed.**

**Blaine: Hey!**

**I was just kidding. Don't need to take it so seriously.**

***sigh* I wish the world was less insane**

Padfoot- *sigh* So do I…

Moony- I worry for you guys

Prongs- Me too…

_And me :D _

_Questions I found in Chapter 1 _

_Question 265 comes from _**walrus biscuit**

**Hello people! I need a new trick to teach to my cat. Any ideas? He can already jump over obstacles, do "lay down", "sit", "give a paw" "high five" and walk "spanish walk" (a horse thing) **

_LOL! *knows what _**walrus biscuit**_ is talking about*_

Everyone else- O.o?

**when asked. My imagination has stopped working so could you please help me?**

Prongs- Teach it to play dead.

Padfoot- Or be dead!

*everyone stares at him*

Moony- He doesn't like cats…

_Teach it to shake hands? I don't know… hope that helped. _

_Question 266 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Helloooooooo. **

Padfoot- Helloooooooooo right back :D

Prongs- Hello!

_Hi _

Moony- :D

**What up? *eats randomly appeared chocolate* Long time, no see. **

**I found a bunny! He's so cute! *shows a cute white* Wanna pet him? His name is Snuggle-Wuggles! *hands over bunny for everyone to pet***

_Ooohhh *squees!* _

Prongs- He is sooo furry

Padfoot- Hey stop hogging him

Moony- Aww ^-^

Meanwhile

*James and Sirius begin fighting over who gets to pet the bunny*

**See, isn't he sweet? *bites the person petting him* OMG! I'm so sorry! **

Moony- It's okay my own bites are waaayy worse!

***grabs bunny* No! Bad Boy! *sprays him with water* Bad bunny! I'm so sorry! Here, let me take care of that! *heals bit* He bit Harry and Anne too. I'm gonna have Hagrid look at him. :( I'm really really sorry. *hands bitten person an apology cake***

Moony- Oh well in that case *takes cake and hogs it*

**Oh, I developed the pictures! *hands over pictures* *a scream in the distance* What the bloody fuck? *goes to check it out* *runs back, pale and scared* I've gotta go! Death Eaters are attacking the school! Bye! Wish me luck! Hugs! Kissssses! Love, Phoenix! *runs away, wand in hand***

Padfoot- don't let the bunny die!

Prongs- What he said!

_Bye good luck! Don't die! _

Moony- :( stay safe!

_Question 267 comes from_ **Fan **

**YUNOUPDATE? :trollface:**

_-_-…Shroom…_

Everyone-*stares confused*

_Nothing nothing! :D _

THE END!

FOR NOW!

OH WAIT

GUESS THIS TUNE!

**_I want to be the very best like no one ever was dun dun dun! To catch them is my real test to train them is my cause! I willl travel across the land searching far and wide these P-_**

_WHOA almost gave it away :P Okay whoever gets it first must state their House or else I'll pick Hufflepuff!_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I will be making a Snape and James column okay! And I'll update every five comments or however many comments there is depending on when I check them! Okay? Okay :D **

**ALSO JAMES AND LILY WILL NOT BE HERE NEXT TIME!**


	27. Chapter 27 Part 1

**So I know most of you hate me for leaving and taking so long. Truth is **

**First I had a lazy attack. **

**Then I dragged myself to the comp but got writer's block it seemed like I couldn't type anything down. **

**Then I got obsessed with Kpop (Korean pop) and I took on another fandom. **

**Then I got addicted to Tumblr. **

**Then I got banned from the computer. :(**

**And now I'm back and I feel Sooooooooooo(infinity times) Sorry! Because I know that being late is better than never being there so I am not leaving you guys...**

**Especially **

**PheonixRose, livesinthelibrary4012, kail yugah, Lady Marauder young, SetoX Sara, Pyscho Lady, Klaine Lover, the main people who have been with me since forever! **

**And I'm sorry to the new people too. I am a good example of what _not_ to do :( .**

* * *

><p><em>Hello and welcome to another Moony and Padfoot Advice Column<em>

_Question 268 comes from_ **LadyMarauderYoung**

**Hey guys,**

**Gosh! Going to a girl's school sucks.**

Padfoot- Really I thought it would be all the rage.

Moony- ?

Padfoot- You know bounties of women…

Moony-…

Padfoot- Women galore?

Moony-…?

Padfoot- Lots of women to do!

Moony- Oh! -_- But you're gay…

Padfoot- *sighs* Never mind then

**Excuse my French but girls can be such bitches to one another! And apparently, it's all the rage**

Moony- Huh…she says it too

Padfoot- See? :D

**To be going out with other girls...my friend has had about 6 'girlfriends' since Christmas. It's gross. Not that she was going out with girls but that she just threw them away. **

Moony- She threw them away? Terrible!

Padfoot-Is she even really…gay?

**Oh well, enough moaning. It was your birthday 4 days ago Remus! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!**

Moony- Aww thanks but thanks to someone who never updates .

_I'm sorry! What do you want me to do? _

Moony and Padfoot- UPDATE!

_Okay Okay!_

**I hope the others cheered you up because it was a full moon...I HATE FENRIR GREYBACK! EVIL, SADISTIC, GOOD FOR NOTHING (are you taking note, Padfoot?) SCOUNDREL! **

Padfoot- Yup I'm taking note!

Moony- All of those things are true *nods*

**Okay then...I feel a bit better now...**

Padfoot- Thanks to my awesomeness right?

Moony- Sure Pads, sure.

**Au Revoir,**

Padfoot- God bless you.

Moony- -_- she meant goodbye

Padfoot- Oh…then why did she sneeze?

Moony- *sighs* What will I do with you?

**Lauren (who is still not Lily)**

Padfoot-Bye Lily! *hands her a pound of chocolate*

Moony-*also hands her a pound of chocolate*

_*also gives her a pound of forgiveness chocolate*_

_Question 269 comes from_** kali yugah**

_Sorry for not updating!_

Moony- Okay totally interrupt me -_-

_You weren't even talking!_

Moony- I opened my mouth!

_Okay sorry to you too!_

Moony- Anyways, hello Kali!

Padfoot- Yeah hi! Hope your enjoying your summer.

**the song is from pokemon from the first adventure through kanto! why did you not put in my 2nd review for chapter 25 :(?**

I…didn't…?*hides in the corner* I. AM. THE. WORST. AUTHOR. EVER.

Padfoot- Yeah you suck :P

**but i have a better song now from the one and only Mordin Solus! :)**

Moony- God Bless You.

Padfoot- Moony she's talking about a song!

Moony- Oooh

**I am the very model of a scientist Salarian!**

**I've studied species: Turian; Asari and Batarian.**

**I'm quite good at genetics (as a subset of biology),**

**because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology).**

**My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian -**

**I am the very model of a scientist Salarian!**

**I was on a team that modified the Genophage**

**In fact, some would call me a Salarian sage**

**Coming at ya with Incinerate and Cryo Blast**

**Watch out 'cause I'll drop you and your armor fast**

**My xenoscience studies rang from urban to agrarian -**

**I am the very model of the scientist Salarian!**

***stares at the stunned looks at the fast sing and awkwardly coughs***

Moony-…*cough*

Padfoot- *cough cough*

_*sneeze*_

**Mordin Solus is an Amphibian like alien from the future.**

Padfoot- Ew.

Moony- Ew?

Padfoot- I don't like amphibians.

Moony- What?*laughs*

Padfoot- What? I don't!

Moony-*laughs* What do you mean?

Padfoot- I mean I don't feel comfortable with them!

Moony- What? Is that why you always make me put your frog legs in the cauldron?

Padfoot-*nods*

_How can you not like frogs? _

Padfoot- Well it all started when I was little…I—don't want to talk about it…

Moony- Oh no you don't! You need to now!

Padfoot- Fine -_- Okay so me and my cousin Bellatrix were playing outside and…

Moony- Oh no here it comes…

Padfoot-*whimpers* She found a frog and-

Moony- Killed it?

_Switched your souls?_

Padfoot- Threw it at me!

Moony- That's it…?

Padfoot- Yeah…*shudders* It still freaks me out.

_You know from someone with your family history…that's pretty…normal…_

Padfoot- -_-

_What? It is!_

Moony- She's kind of right Pads…

Padfoot- Whatever…

_Okay then *hands Kali a pound of apology chocolate*_

Moony- *hands her a book on aliens*

Padfoot- *hands her a book on How to Kill Amphibians*

Moony- Padfoot!

Padfoot- What?

Moony - -_- *takes book back and hands her one on Amphibians*

_Question 270 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**HI GUYS!**

Moony- Hello!

Padfoot- Hello!

_Hello*hands pound of chocolate* Sorry for the lonnnngggg hiatus. _

**I'm alive! Man does that feel good! I almost did die! A freakin' wall fell on top of me! **

Everyone- O_o!

**A Death Eater bumped into me and inadvertently saved me! **

Padfoot- What?

Moony- That's weird…but cool at the same time.

**Thank Merlin! They took Anne and Ron! The twins are in a coma right now. :(**

Padfoot- Aww that's terrible.

Moony- :(

**Don't worry Pads, Snuggle-Wuggles is fine, actually, I think had the time of his life! He kept biting Deathmunchers! :D **

Padfoot- Aww Snuggles!

Moony- -_- I'll never understand your relationship with that thing…

Padfoot- He's just jealous :D

Moony- -_- Am not!

Padfoot- Are too!

Moony- Am not!

Guys please don't

*begin wrestling*

STOP IT!

*stop and sit down*

**I wouldn't have really shot James; just hex into next week.**

Padfoot-*laughs* Haha! Nice!

**I'm going to learn to shoot a gun though! **

Moony- Okay but don't bring it here…

**I wish I was 6 inches taller! **

Padfoot- Me too…Moony's grown this summer…No ME GUSTA.

Moony- Really you're into that troll face stuff?

Padfoot- :D A little.

Moony- Omigod…don't talk to me!

Padfoot- Muggle internet is amazing Moonpie! Looks there a place called Fanfiction and they have stories about us doing—

Moony-*blushes* I KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE!

Padfoot- :D *trollface*

**James is NOT the best thing since sliced bread; the Harry Potter series and fandom are! **

Padfoot- Actually I was going to say I was but…okay…

Moony- -_-

***moans from the left side* OMG! ! Gred! Forge! You're awake! *runs to get Madam Pomfrey* **

Padfoot- Did she just get their names mixed up?

Moony- No Gred and Forge have always been Gred and Forge…

Padfoot- Really? :D

Moony- No. -_-

Padfoot- Ahh you got me

Moony- :D *trollface*

-_ - And you said you didn't like it.

***1 hour later***

**Fred: Well, George, they our idols…**

***Fred and George kiss Prongs and Padfoot and then smack them across the face***

Padfoot- OMG Prongs I forgot you were here! And ow!

Prongs- -_-

Moony- Sorry mate. We thought you left!

_Yeah sorry. Shouldn't you been with Snape? _

Prongs- Ew. No.

_But since the start of your column I thought you two should spend more time together. _

Prongs- Ewww. No way! I might get grease on me.

_-_-_  
><strong><br>Me: *laughs* I can't wait to start pranking you guys!**

**George: YES! Nancy's back! Party at Prongs house!**

Prongs- OI!

**Me: Did you get all your gifts?**

**Fred: Hey, what was with-**

**George: Snuggle-Wuggles?**

**Me: Well, his teeth were coming in and he had an upset tummy. Here, Sirius, you can pet him until the end of the chapter! *hands over Snuggle-Wuggles* Sorry about your eyes Moony! I'm sorry, Lizard! I didn't know you didn't like getting your picture taken! Apology cakes?**

_It's okay. I'm just *hides* shy…_

Moony- No me I'm just a werewolf who doesn't value his existence.

Everyone- *stares at him in shock*

Moony- :D I'm kidding…

Prongs- Mate…that was _terrible!_

Moony- -_- Well sorry I don't know how to joke!

Padfoot-*pats back* It's okay. You're not good with happy things, I understand.

Moony- -_-

***Fred and George snicker, pulls out camera, and takes many picture of Lizard***

_Ahhh*screams* No makeup!_

**Me: FRED! ! GEORGE! ! HOW DARE YOU! ! *pulls out wand***

**Fred and George: UH OH! *flees***

**Me: GET YOUR ARSES BACK HERE! *runs after them***

***2 hours later***

***Fred is covered in boils, is blue with yellow poka dots; George is pink with brown stripes and is swelled in places***

**Me: Apologize! Now!**

**Fred and George: We're Sorry Lizard!**

_It's okay…_

**Me: Good! *Reverses hexes and jinx* Now, NO MAKING FUN OF MY NAME! If you continue to do so, FEAR MY WRATH! *banishes everyone's clothes except their undies; makes Padfoot 's hair in Slytherin colors; Remus in Ravenclaw colors; Lizard in yellow and black***

Padfoot- Oh ew!

Prongs- Hey teach me that hex! I suddenly want to "spend" time with Snivellus. :D

Moony- Well this is new…

_WOOO! HUFELEPUFF PRIDE BITCHES!*runs off* _

Padfoot- Oooh Moony she said a bad word!

Moony-*shrugs* It is rated M.

Padfoot- Okay*strips his underwear*

Moony- O_o!

Padfoot- Hey one of you strip so I don't feel like a loner.

Moony- No way!*blushes*

Prongs-*shrugs and strips*

*He and Padfoot then begin dancing weirdly by waving their arms *****

***Fred and George tremble in fear***

**Fred: Don't press-**

**George: Her! We've been-**

**Fred: Done that. The horror…**

**Me: Presents! Lizard, a hand-made teddy bear!**

_*stops running* Awww*hugs it*_

**Padfoot, a bunny of your own! **

Padfoot-*hands her Snuggle Wuggles and takes the rabbit* I'll name you Daebak!

Moony- What the fu—

Prongs- You're so weird…why are we friends?

Padfoot- Because I'm weird.

Prongs- :D Right!

_Seriously (Padfoot-Black) Why that?_

Padfoot- It's the noise Remus makes when he sneezes…

Moony- What? No it's not-*sneezes "Daebak!"*

Lizard and Prongs-*look at each other*

Prongs- Well what do you know…

Moony- Oh…how embarrassing.

_It's cute—in a romantic creepy kind of way…_

Prongs- Yup that's Sirius romantic and creepy.

**Prongs, (you'll probably will be there by now; you usually are-**

(Prongs- What's that supposed to mean! Padfoot- Means you're nosy! Like Snivellus! :D *trollface)** a bunny for you too!**

Prongs- *squee* I'll name it Lilykins Smoochie the II! (_The second?_)

Padfoot- OMG! Let's have a bunny playdate!

Prongs-OMG LET'S!

*they start fangirling*

Moony and Lizard- -_-?

Moony- They are so…nevermind.

**Moony, chocolate lube and an edible, melt resistant chocolate dildo. ;) **

_*stares at Moony*_

Moony- :D *smiles embarrassedly and slowly puts it behind his back* Haha…

**Hugs and Kisses**

**Love,**

**Becky(I guess I'll sign like this now…. -_-), Gred and Forge**

Padfoot and Prongs- BYE! *continues playing with their bunnies*

Moony- Bye

_Bye!_

**PS: first Random Girl was me XP !**

_I knew it!_

Moony- No you didn't!

_I know :P_

_Question 271 comes from _**Snickerdoodle Black**

**Okay guys, you're gonna hate me for this but... I'M A SLYTHERIN (yeah, gasp.)**

Moony- That's not that shocking…OI! Padfoot! Pay attention!

Padfoot- But my bunny—

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- :(

Prongs- Here I'll just take Daebak and Lilykins to the room and me and Pete can watch them.

Padfoot- Fine!

Moony- Bye Prongs.

_Bye!_

Padfoot- Bye Daebak!

Prongs- *leaves*

**AND THAT'S THE POKÉMON THEME SONG.**

_Yeah! Good job! *hands a pund of chocolate* Sorry for the late__update. :(_

**And yay for Snames -I mean, Snape and James! No shmexy nonsense!- advice column! I'll go check it out :)**

Padfoot- Ew. Them having smex is like Dumbledore and Min—

Moony-*gags* Oh God please don't—

**Thirdly, my question. Because I have a sick mind and can't stop thinking about sex (Btw, thanks for the explanation, Remus.) how would Sirius and Remus take to S&M? **

**Beecawz yoo seeeeeee: There are many fics featuring Dominant!, Abusive! or Sadist!Sirius and Submissive!, Victim! or Masochist!Remus. **

Padfoot- Well you see fanfics inspire one to—

Moony-*red faced* Sirius! Don't talk about our love life!

Padfoot- But Moony! *whispers* He's likes abusing me! Youknow the wolf thing…

Moony- Shut up!

Padfoot- ;)

**And random note of the day! "For no real reason, I've taken to speaking in a Scottish accent."* It's fun. :3**

Padfoot- Scottish? Like leprechauns?

Moony- That's Irish Pads.

Padfoot- No the elves are.

Moony- No their North Polian.

_What the hell? -_-_

**Soooo...**

**Love ya/Mean it!**

Moony- Aww thanks!

Padfoot- Thank you ! Love ya too!

**That Stupid Bitch with the Cat Ears, Snickerdoodle Black**

_Bye! _

Moony- Bye Snickerdoodle.

Padfoot- Bye! Also Remus likes being handcuffed to beds!*gives you handcuffs*

Moony- Padfoot*lobster colored face and ears**hands you your own star that you get to name*

_Question 272 comes from_ **wolves2152**

**Oooooooooohhhhhhh my god you Answered! **

_Yeah and I'm so sorry I haven't answered this in like…*sobs* *hands candy bag to you*_

Padfoot-*shakes head* The shame!

**Yeah in so Happy! Presents for st patricks day!**

**To author I give a green mint cake with seven four leaf clovers and a pot of gold!**

_Aww thank you *sobs and eats* I don't deserve this!_

Padfoot and Moony- *make faces*

**To padfoot and moony I give the luck of the Irish and a book on Irish style sex positions that are only known to the Irish( if you tell anyone what's in the book a horde of rabid leprechauns will each your pants and knee caps!) also some Irish chocolate!**

Padfoot- I know what I'm doing this summer :D

Moony- -_-! *eats chocolate*

**For prongs I give the books of irish potato pranks and Irish pranks in general!**

Padfoot- I'll just hold on to this…

**For snape I give you rare special Irish ingredients for potions**.

Moony- And I guess I'll hold on to this…

_-_- Hey you guys you better give those to Snape and James!_

Moony and Padfoot- Yeah yeah…*not really listening*

**And to everyone I give you shamrock shakes and the luck of the Irish good for one day only!**

_AWESOME! I'm about to go win me the lottery!_

Padfoot- Cheater!

Moony- I'm going to save mine till the full moon.

Padfoot- Nice. I'm going to prank Narcissa's pretty boy :D

Moony- Lucius?

Padfoot- Yeah.

Moony- Still going out?

Padfoot- Yeah. It's pretty serious.

_I heard he might propose._

Padfoot- What? When?

*_shrugs* Some girls walking past me on my way here were talking about it. You know gossip._

Moony- Oh yeah :P

Padfoot- Well this is great -_-.

**Happy st Patrick's day!**

_You too!_

Moony- Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Padfoot – Happy Elf day!

_-_-? _

*** runs away while doing an Irish jig ***

**P.s pokemon theme song from the first region kanto!**

**P.s.s ravenclaw!**

_Alright! So anyone keeping track? _

Padfoot- Nope.

Moony- I assumed you were…

_-_- then what is the point…_

Padfoot- For fun?

Moony and Lizard- Lame!

Padfoot- -_-

_273 comes from _**S. Black again**

Padfoot- :D Someone couldn't get enough of me!

Moony- :P

Hello again!

**Snicks the Stupid Bitch again! Just wanted to add something:**

***The quotes were supposed to be in a heavy Scottish accent, in case you didn't know... ;)**

Padfoot- I knew!

Moony- No you didn't

Padfoot- Y U DENY ME SO MUCH!

Moony- -_-

_Thanks for the heads up :D _

Moony- Yeah thanks!

Padfoot- You're welcome :D

Moony- What?

Padfoot- She wanted to see me again and she's thankful that she got to see me :D

Moony- *sighs*

_Question 274 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Oh! Before I go, *whips out wand and turns everyone but Lizard green* Happy St. Paddy's Day! *snaps picture of the people in green; then turns them back to normal* **

_Ah!*flinches* _

Padfoot- Hah!

**Now, *singing loudly* HAPPY BELIATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BELAITED BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BELAITED BELIATED BIRTHDAY REMUS! ! HAPPY BELIATED BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU! ! ! ! I love you, sweetie! 33333333333333333 *hugs and kisses Remus on the cheek* **

Moony- Aww thank you! *touched*

**Now, I made you something we knoew you'd like: A 17 layered cake made with all kinds of chocolate; white, milk, dark, ecta. ecta. ecta. **

Moony-*squeals*

**Enjoy! I know how much you wanna keep that cake to yourself, but you have to give a reasonable amount of cake to everyone in the room. **

Moony- -_-

**Don't look at me like that! Its only fair!**

Moony- Alright *hands you and everyone a slice*

**Plus we got ice cream and we're holding a party at Prong's house with booze and food! Happy St. Paddy's Day! HAPPY BELAITED BELIATED BIRTHDAY REMUS! Hugs and kisses! Love, Phoenix**

_Oooh I don't Prongs is going to like that…_

Padfoot- Yeah you should have seen his face the other day! *laughs*

Moony- Alright after this column I'm going to party at James's house :D

Padfoot- Now you're talking Moony!

_Question 275 comes from_ **RemmyBlack**

**POKEMON!**

_*hands you a pound of your favorite candy and if you don't have a fav candy- -_- just take the bag* Sorry for the LATE ASS update!_

**Yes, I skipped my awesome introductions but I finished all of my assignments and I am napping with my eyes open!**

Padfoot- *impressed* Whoa…

Moony-*impressed too* That's amazing…

_Sure would come in handy…_

**Wow...Moony and Padfoot switched bodies...thats gonna get annoying...and I believe that it had something to do with bed ;)**

Moony- Uh…*blushes* It partially did.

Padfoot- Yeah it was fun while it lasted but Lily found out and told Minnie :P

Moony- Who told Dumbledore who told Madame Pomfrey who changed us back.

Padfoot-*sighs* Yeaah…

**Also, SetoXSara, *clicks fingers and constipated pigeons fix the Stature* I wouldn't have minded being blue but I like cheerleading :) **

Moony- What is it with everyone and the statue?

Padfoot- It's a symbol of my hotness and awesomeness!

Moony- -_-

**NOW FOR QUESTIONS!**

**TO EVERYONE -Truth or dare? (you never told us what questions we could ask, Lizard..I'm surprised no one has thought of it or maybe its just been so long since you've updated LIZARD!I don't know)**

_I KNOW! *crys* I feel so bad! Okay I pick…Truth!_

Moony- Truth. I play it safe.

Padfoot- Dare!

**Yes,I'm Australian, not so much unique but more...well weird/crazy whichever word you prefer and the snob thing is a stereotype... I had tacos the other night :) but WHY ARE THERE SO MESSY!**

Padfoot- Tacos are good!

Moony- Yum!

_They are messy! Especially for me! I eat like a Wormtail!_

**And Lizard, when Prongs comes back, can you hit him with a frying pan please? If you do, that will be the last violent thing I do (if you have a problem with it)**

_Hmm…okay :D_

Moony and Padfoot- *worried for Lizard's sanity*

**And whoever asked what maths is...Imagine if Voldemort ruled the world and then...its worse then voldemort, that is maths.**

Padfoot- O_o

Moony- O.O Padfoot I'm scared…

_Yeah it's pretty bad. *puffs out chest smugly* Only the toughest Muggles can conquer it._  
><strong><br>Now, I'm gonna nap, so seeya!**

Padfoot- Bye enjoy your nap!

Moony- Yeah farewell.

_Bye! And sorry for the LATE (INCREDIBLY LATE) UPDATE!_

_Question 276 comes from _**Pyscho From Awhile Back**

**What Up? *screams are heard* *in background*HELP US! *turns around* Now, now. Don't do that Anniekins! I don't wanna hurt you! (Anne) DADDY HELP! PAPA! *crucios Anne* I warned you! If you tell You-Know-Who your visions, I'll let you and the smexy redhead go! (Anne) LIAR! ! *smacks her; the beaten redheaded teenwakes up groaning* Welcome back Ronnikins! *Ron screams but is muffled b/c of gag***

**Anyway. *molestes everyone***

**Pyscho out. Peace!**

_What the heck did I just read…_

Moony- Um…should we help those people or…?

Padfoot- Nah, let the pyscho woman be.

Moony- Okay…

_*hands her a pound of candy* Sorry for not updating!_

_Question 277 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Me: Why did Blaine last family member just left him alone? First his father and mother, then his grandmother and grandfather, then his uncles and aunties. Now Blair I'm the only one left to be there for him!**

**Kurt: We don't know Klaine Lover. We just don't know**

**Me: Blaine's family are also killed by Death Eaters.**

**Kurt& Wevid: 0.0 Whut?**

**Me: Yup it' true.**

**Blaine: *groan***

**Me: Oh Blaine's waking up.**

**Blaine: Man where am I?**

**Me: Blaine we're back at Dalton.**

**Blaine: Klaine Lover what happened after I fainted?**

**Me: Blair died. The police wants to take you to the hospital, but I told them that you hated the hospital, so they agree not to let you go to the hospital. I managed to heal most of your wound.**

**Blaine: Thank you Klaine Lover.**

**Kurt: Oh my pretty thing are you alright?**

**Blaine: Yes I'm okay Kurt. You no need to worry.**

**Kurt: What do you mean by don't need to worry that bitch( Sebastian) raped and hurt you.**

**Blaine: He's arrested remember?**

**Kurt: Yes bit he needs to pay for what he've done.**

**Me: Kurt please calm down we don't want you vampire instinct to kick in. At least your not sparkling.**

Padfoot- TRUE DAT.

Moony- Pads—don't interrupt!

**Kurt: Hey! I'm way better than that Edward Cullen. God he's so ugly I wonder why do people even like him.**

_HAHA!_

Moony- Shh!

**Wevid: Blaine we almost went insane after you have been kidnapped.**

**Blaine: Okaaayy... So what happened to the warblers?**

**Me: Well to say they almost went insane and almost destroyed the school.**

**Blaine: o.0 Really?**

**Me: Yes headmaster Snape wants to see us.**

**Everyone: Okay let's go.**

**A few minutes later outside the headmaster's office**

**Me: *knocks on door***

**Headmaster: Come in.**

**Me: *opens door* Headmaster Snape you want to see us?**

**Snape: Why yes. I see Blaine is back.**

**Me: Yes Mr Snape.(**Padfoot- Ew**)**

**Snape**(Padfoot- Ew):**Good l that he's back because we'll never know what would Sebastian do after he gets the necklace you guys have.**

**Snape(**Padfoot-Ew**): For all your bravery I will give Windors house 100 points.**

Me: Thank you Headmaster.

**Snape(**Padfoot- Ew**): You guys can leave now.**

Padfoot-*in a Snape voice* Don't trip on grease on the way out.

Moony-*snorts*

_*also holds in laugh* Wait! That's messed up -_-_

**Me: Okay.**

**Everyone: *leaves office***

**Blaine: Well that end well.**

**Me: Good to have you back my dear cousin.**

**Blaine: It's good to be back.**

**Me: Let's go enjoy some Disney movies and ice cream.**

**Everyone: Yes let's.**

**The End**

Everyone-*claps*

**Well that's finished gifts and questions time.**

**Padfoot: You also get that awesome robe that Prongs have.**

Padfoot- YES!

**Moony: Well let's just say that secret guy who gave that cake is Padfoot. Padfoot asking me to give that cake is kinda lame. **

Moony- Yeah he's kind of lame like that.

Padfoot- Too busy playing with my robe to care!

Moony- :D*trollface* Sure you are…

**Oh yeah Blaine ask me to give you this, A strawberry cheesecake he baked it himself.**

Padfoot- Luuuckkyy!

Moony- :D Thank you!

**Nancy: Good to have you back. Here's a cake to celebrate your return.**

Padfoot- Oh yeah so Nancy's been in the back the whole time she has a sore throat so she can't really talk right now…

Nancy-….*smiles and bows*

Moony- She means Thank you.

Nancy- *eats and gives thumbs up*

**Lizard: Well being awesome here's a necklace that will take your stress away.**

_Thank you! I don't deserve this…*cries* _

Padfoot- Is it your time of the month?

_No!_

**Questions time.**

**Okay guys this is something I wanted to ask a long time.**

**What kind if kinks do you guys like?**

**Both Klaine and Wevid like DBSM.**

Padfoot- Leather!

Moony- Chocolate.

Padfoot- Quickies in places we aren't supposed to have them in.

Moony-*blushes*

Padfoot- In the car.

Moony- Ouch no. On a soft bed.

Padfoot- From behind!

Moony- For you…

Padfoot-*embarrassed* ONE TIME!

Moony- Sirius likes to bottom on occasion now.

Padfoot- Shhh! Moony! My manly image will be torn from me!

Moony- What manly image? If you didn't have a penis you'd be a woman! You cross dress anyways.

Padfoot- STOP! Y U REVEALING THINGS ABOUT ME!

Moony- :D

_O_O Who's the Padfoot now? Anyways, byee! *hands you a pound of candy* _

_Question 278 comes from _**SetoXSara**

**-walks in wearing a gothic black dress and a black veil- You... -points at Lizard- What have you done? You have angered the Goddesses, and released hell on Earth.**

_O_o I'm sorry! *runs to faithful corner* _

**Sassy: Great going, Puffskeins(!)**

**SXS: WHYYYYYYYYYYY! -sobs- Snames... Goddess does not wish! -rocks back and forth- Does. Not. Wish.**

Padfoot- Neither do I. :P

**-real SetoXSara walks in- Hi Guys- oh for God's sake Sara stop crying and get out! **

Moony- Hello…

**Anyway, hi dudily budilies! Now -changes and comes out in crimson Victorian dress and a tiara- I would like to thank each of you for your dedication to the column.**

Moony- :D

Padfoot- Well! It's about time!

**Remus John Lupin. -gives Regal chocolate- The best in the world. Treasure it.**

Moony-*fangirls*

**Sirius Orion Black. -gives royal blue collar and a little statue of a dog and a wolf nuzzling, their tails intwined-**

Padfoot- :D Eeeeeeeeeeee! *fangirls as well*

**And finally Miss Lizard. I give you this. -gives solids gold fountain pen with a pot of royal ink-**

_Aww I really can't accept this.. I'm a bad author :((. Thank you *hands you a pound of candy in return* _

**thank you. -acsends up stairs- good bye friend- -trips- Shit! Tried to be bloody regal! -rolls eyes- Bye!**

_Haha bye!_

Padfoot- Maybe next time Bye!

Moony- Bye!

_Question 279 comes from_** Harley the obsessive fangirlXD**

**Hello Moony and padfoot!**

Moony- Hello!

Padfoot- Hi Harley :D

**As a pranker myself I can't help but notice that you do not like a sytherin boy named severus snape.**

Padfoot- Hate him

_Love him_

Padfoot- -_-

**I know a PERFECT prank for him! I am a gryffindor but I like to spy so I saw that he looked like someone who would wear nothing but black. So I would dye all of his robes and his hair rainbows/bright colors.**

Padfoot-*hugs you* GENUIS!

Moony- -_- Thank you for corrupting his mind…

**Did you know that you are allowed to polish your wand in the common rooms?**

Moony- Of course…

**But you're NOT allowed to "polish your wand" in the common room?**

Padfoot- HAHAHAHAH!

Moony- ew I get it now.

_Dirty joke. O_o…_

**Moony you and me babeh, we aint nothin' but mammals and we should "do it" like they "do it" on the discovery channel**

Moony- Um…

Padfoot- Moony don't you dare!

_Haha song reference. *hands you apound of candy* sorry for not updating for so long!_

_Question 280 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Hey guys I'm going to start a new story.**

_Yay!_

Padfoot- Yes!

Moony- Alright! :D

**I'm still thinking about the plot.**

**I know I'm going to do a cheerio!Kurt and nerd!Blaine story with the warblers and Sebastian and some of the New Directions and Blaine's elder brother.**

**That's all for now.**

**Bye bye!**

_Good luck with that! _

Padfoot- Bye!

Moony- Goodbye for now!

_Question 281 comes from_** anon**

**Me: POOKEEEMOOOON!**

**Albus: Gotta catch 'em all!**

**Me: Wait how do you know that?**

Moony- How do you know that? How do I?*panickes* OMG! Who am I?

Padfoot- Moony—breathe…

Moony-*grabs a paper bag and breathes*

_O_o?_

**Albus: Youtube.**

Everyone- Ahhh!

**Me: Ahhh. Anyway, thanks for putting my name up! I did not know that wasn't there...**

_Yeah I kind had to so Moony wouldn't freak out because he freaks out like…_

Moony- What? You said her name was there *breathes into bag* YOU LIED!

_O_o Like that…_

**Albus: And by the way, now would be the time to brace yourself for drama.**

**Me: A Hufflepuff has been making fun of James and the frequently mentioned Ravenclaw boy.**

Moony and Padfoot- *look at Lizard*

_What? Oh! -_- That's racist! Not all Hufflepuffs know each other!_

Moony and Padfoot-*look away mumbling to themselves*

**Albus: So she punched him in the stomach.**

Padfoot- Nice.

**Me: Yeah.. I got detention... Where the Hufflepuff HAPPENED to be doing detention too.**

_That doesn't sound like it'll end right…_

**Albus: And he pissed her off and she punched him again.**

Padfoot- Haha!

**Me: HOW CAN I STOP?**

Padfoot- Don't it sounds hilarious!

Moony and Lizard - -_-

Moony- I suggest breathing into a bag. Or telling the teacher or walking away and not stooping down to his level.

**Albus: Now, our gift is more Butterbeer ice cream (Remus's has chocolate in it) because we recently learned that the house elves are not giving it to anyone except us. We have no idea why.**

Padfoot- Free food? :D Awesome. Maybe because they heard you know me…

Moony- Or me.

**Me: And we're glad that the phone came in handy, Nancy! Hey that rhymed!**

**Albus: BUT WELCOME BACK!**

Nancy-*smiles*

Moony- Uh- she said thank you.

**Me: K bye!**

_Bye!_

Padfoot and Moony- Bye!

Nancy-…

Moony- Uh—she says bye too :D.

_Question 282 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Me: POKEMON!**

**Okay back to topic. I realized that my sister and I made a parody of the pokemon theme song while we were in Korea (**

_LUUUUCCCKKKYYY!)_

**in a museum if the folklore. Want me to sing it?**

Everyone- Yes!

**I will travel across the sea, searching far and wide dun dun dun.**

**To catch them is my real test, to sell them is my job**

**Fishermen!**

**I laughed when I was in that museum(my speaking is not that good so sorry)**

Moony- It sounds good to me :D

Padfoot- Yeah sounds better than this girl's

_Hey! I speak perfect English!_

Padfoot- No you don't you have an accent!

_What? No I don't you do!_

Padfoot- No I don't! You have that American accent. *American accent* Hey bro let's go get some burgers!

_*gasps* I don't talk like that!_

Moony- Stop fighting over a stupid accent! We have an accent to you; you have an accent to us. Okay?

Padfoot and Lizard- Fine.

**Remember that comment that Blaine got kidnapped and I**

**told you guys about my favorite Chinese band?**

**五月天****. I've got to say I love them more then Glee. I admit it cause they are the band who got me into music.**

Padfoot- Cool! If I knew what that meant.

_Means Mayday. _

Padfoot- How did you—

_Google translate :P _

Moony- Cool!

**Well I'll give the spoilers to the next story I'm going to write**

Padfoot- Yeah spoilers!

_Hee hee I feel like a VIP!_

**where Kurt is still a vampire an being an asshole to Blaine. Kurt doesn't know that Blaine is his mate. Blaine like Kurt. Sebastian like Blaine. Blaine thinks that he needs to move on cause he thinks that Kurt does not like him. Blaine hang out with Sebastian more.**

**Kurt is jealous and wants Blaine for himself. Sebastian cheats on Blaine. Blaine broke up with Sebastian. A New Directions member takes interest in Blaine and will fight with Kurt for Blaine's feelings. Kurt wins in the end and they live happily ever after.**

Padfoot and Moony and Lizard- Awesome.

**In my previous I hope you liked it. Cause I have no talent in writing but I have a very big imagination. I hope that you guys will like the new story I'm going to start on soon.**

_I have no talent either :P _

Padfoot- Yeah you suck!

Moony- Me neither.

Padfoot- Moony you don't even write!

Moony- Essays!

Padfoot- That doesn't require much imagination…

Moony- That's what you think!

**Bye bye.**

Moony- Bye!

Padfoot- Bye bye!

_BYEEEE!_

_Question 283 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

***sit's on chair thinking and playing DS***

**Oh didn't see you guys there again.**

Padfoot- Hey!

Moony- Hello again

_Sup!_

**Well I got to say any type of bullying for me is bad even when you talk behind someone's back that suck. Imagine that you best friend talks behind your back. If it was me, I would be be in rage and flip tables for that. But I will not show it.**

Moony- I once flipped a table.

Padfoot- Haha yeah… you're first detention-*sighs* good times.

Moony- :P

**James it's sweet that you actually cared for Blaine even if you don't admit it.**

Padfoot- James is such a girl.

**Sirius, Remus, Nancy and Lizard I've got to say after my first show have finished. I've gotta say all your comments kept the show going I've wanted to stop it a few times. But your comments kept the show going on that I'm starting a new show. *bows very low* Thank you for keeping the show going on.**

_Aww you're welcome! I like it :D It was very different from the other comments. _

Padfoot- And it's something to read while you're waiting for more questions.

Moony- Yeah.

**I have no idea what the new show story title will be so I need your help. I'll tell you guys the summary now. *claps hand twice and a board appear out of nowhere behind Lizard and a blacked hair puppy comes out and lick Lizard***

_Aww cute!_

Padfoot- It's my long lost cousin!

Moony-*laughs* Shut up.

**Blaine what in the world happened to you. *blush* OMG I NEED PICTURES OF YOU! *takes picture***

_(I decided to put your two comments together is that okay? )_

**Okay back to the summary at hand.**

**Blaine is the nerd of Mackinely high and Kurt is the HBIC of Mackinely high.**

**Kurt is a vampire(better than Edward Cullen) looking for his mate. Blaine is Kurt's mate and he didn't know. **

**Blaine's parents died he only has a brother left but his brother is working in New York. Coach Sue says that Kurt's grade are dropping so Blaine have to tutor him. **

**Kurt treats Blaine very badly shoving Blaine into lockers, slushy him, call him names and doesn't pay attention to him. Blaine was about to give up hope that Kurt will pass his next exams and not like him(sad Blainers). **

**Sebastian comes in and flirt with him. **

(Padfoot-Noooo)

**Blaine thinks that he needs to move on so he hangs out with Sebastian more. Sebastian confess to Blaine, Blaine says he will be Sebastian's boyfriend. The whole school knows and Kurt is jealous because he wants Blaine for himself. **

**After a few weeks of thinking Kurt finally realize that Blaine is his mate cause Blaine smell different from the other people he dated. **

**The same few weeks Blaine went to Dalton to visit his friends and Sebastian, he goes to Sebastian's room and found him(Sebastian) in bed with another boy from Dalton. Blaine poured coffee on the both of them and ended the relationship that he(Blaine) and Sebastian have. **

**The New Directions threatened Sebastian is they go near Blaine again they would so something to him that Sebastian never speak to Blaine ever again. **

**Kurt found his chance of making amends with Blaine. **

(Padfoot- Yeeeeesss)

**Oh another person took interest in Blaine and it's no other then Sam Evans (he's bi). Sam asks Blaine if he want to go out with him. Blaine says as a friend. Sam says as a friend. Kurt over hears the conversation and was in rage thinking of ways to kill Sam. The next day Kurt talked to Sam alone, Kurt question Sam of his motives Sam says he like Blaine and want to date him, Kurt says he like Blaine first.**

**So the two boys says that if they seduce Blaine they will be the winner. Sam will win Blaine first then break up with him(Blaine) cause Sam like another person. **

**Blaine's brother cones to Mckinely to take over Glee club and was with Blaine all the time. Kurt went up to Blaine and ask him for help in is in shock that after a while he said yes. **

**Cooper(Blaine's brother) tease him. Blaine asks him to shut up. Kurt and Blaine met in the library and Kurt paid attention to Blaine as he explains to him. After a few months of studying Kurt called Blaine a name that made the whole school laugh. Blaine ran out of the cafeteria to his brother's staff room to look for Cooper.**

**Cooper comfort him and confront the whole school. Cooper says that Blaine need to transfer school as Mckinely is too dangerous for him (school of my liking). Blaine joined the glee club there and cheerleading club. **

**One day Blaine went to visit the New Directions and they were shock about the changes that Blaine made. Kurt sees Blaine in the school cheerleading uniform, he gets turn on cause the uniform clings onto Blaine very well.**

**Blaine says that Sam wants to give their relationship another try. Blaine said yes cause he knows that it will make Kurt jealous. Kurt got jealous thinking that he should be the one kissing Blaine. Sam broke up with Blaine again.**

**Kurt apologized to Blaine and ask him out on a date. Blaine said yes and after a few months everybody accept that Blaine is Kurt's boyfriend. Kurt tells Blaine that he's a vampire and told him that the mate will have to give the vampire blood when the vampire is hungry. Blaine is okay with it.**

**Every time when Kurt is hungry he went to find Blaine during lunch time and bit him in front of the whole school. Everybody in the school is a supernatural creature and Cooper is a werewolf **

(Moony- Aww yeaaah represent!)

**with telling Blaine. Blaine is the only human in the school. Kurt drank and drank Blaine blood until he's full then the glee club kidnap Blaine back to the glee club table (Blaine transferred back to Mckinely). And the two lived happily ever after.**

**The End**

**Tell me the title that suits this long ass summary.**

_A title? Umm… The Vampire at McKinely High. _

Padfoot- The Supernatural Glee Club!

Moony- You could name it after your favorite band. Mayday? Or song?

_Hope that helps…Bye!_

_Padfoot and Moony- Bye!_

_Question 284 comes from _**livesinlibrary4012**

**Ok i will send a longer review later and i will log in but i just wanted to say pokemon and Hufflepuff! **

_Yeah! Representing!_

**finally learned some cutesy faces! ohh and could you please update a little faster next time? i know its hard but i was waiting forever.**

_:(…*goes to the corner* I am a HORRIBLE person! I'm so sorry! I updated even later than last time I AM SO SORRY!_

_If I could literally send you a cake I would! _

_:((_

**p.s. you said that last time and theyre still here.**

_Yeah sorry I wanted them gone but people commented involving them a lot so I decide it would be easier to just keep them than to keep calling them back. Also James and Snape have their own column so if people want James he's over there and Lily will also be over there. _

Padfoot- Yeah what she said.

Moony- Bye! Sorry if we've been gone for long :(

_Question 285 comes from_ **PhoenixRose92**

**P.S. Um, I read that story where Sirius and Remus, ya know, switch bodies. ;) Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. ;)**

Moony and Padfoot- O_o!

**OH! HAPPY EASTER! ! ! *hands everyone a big basket of chocolate egg and plastic eggs full of goodies* **

Everyone-*pigs out*

**Do you like my pet bunnies? **

Padfoot- Yes!

***holds up two bunnies with red fur and blue eyes* They're names are Fred and George! See, they gave me bunny ears and a tail….. Which I still have… So, I turned them into bunnies. *smug smile* **

**Moony- O_O**

**OH! Here are the pictures and negatives Fred and George took of you! **

_Ah I'm hideous!_

Moony- My eyes are closed!

Padfoot- Ugh!

**You can burn them if you want, I think you look pretty in them…**

_Aww thank you….Let's go burn them after this. _

Moony and Padfoot- *agree*

**Well, all the Gryffindors are sleeping in the Great Hall because the Twins and I Dungbombed the Dorms… **

Padfoot- Classic.

**I told Minnie what you said, I got detention for telling her to suck a toe… and for calling her Minnie… yeah… **

Padfoot- Haha! I should have been there!

**The Twins turned my hair green… It still is green, I could change it back…. But I don't want to, I like green. **

Padfoot- -_-

**I can be a Gryffindor and like green, Sirius! **

Padfoot- No you can't!

Moony-*sighs*

**The Twins, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood, Harry and I had a paint bomb fight in the Great Hall during lunch… Yeah, I'm in detention for two months….. have heard from Anne or Ron?**

Padfoot- Paintball? Sounds EPIC!

Moony- Pads, don't get any ideas.

Padfoot- Too late!

_Er…no we haven't heard anything from…_

Padfoot- Psycho lady kid—

Moony-*covers his mouth*

Padfoot- Mmmph! Mmm!

_As I said before—nothing! :D _

**I should remind you that Anne is Sirius and Remus's child….. **

Padfoot- HUH?

Moony- O_o? I'm a father

Nancy-….! : O

Moony- Uh—she means I have a half-sister?

**Well, here's the pictures of the pranks since the last update! ! ! *hands over the pictures of Fred and George as bunnies; a picture of me with green hair, white bunny ears and a white fluffy bunny tail; the Great Hall, students and teachers covered in paint, some students(Twins, Harry, Luna, Draco, me and others) laughing)**

_Cute pictures :D _

**Hugs and kisses!**

**Love,**

**Phoenix**

Padfoot- God rest your soul!

Moony- Sirius you save that in funerals.

Padfoot- Oh...um…rest in peace.

Moony- Again. Funerals.

Padfoot- Argh okay Bye.

Moony-*shakes head* Bye!

_Bye!_

_Question 286 comes from _**ViolentTurtle**

**Hi!**

Hello :D

Padfoot- Ooh a noob…

Moony- Hello. Forgive my idiot boyfriend. He knows not what he does.

_*hands you a pound of chocolate* Sorry it took me so long to answer your review. It usually doesn't take THAT long but… :(_

**I just started reading and I have to say this is a fan-bloody-tastic column! I love you all so much, especially Moony, but only because Padfoot beat the crap out of Draco since I love him! **

_Aww! I'm loved! Hope you don't hate me now :(_

Padfoot- Well I don't mean to brag…

Moony- -_- Anyways, thank you for loving me :D

**You know I should really punish him... I HEARBY SIC MY EVIL TURTLE MINIONS ON SIRIUS UNTIL HE LEARNS VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER... UNLESS YOU ASK ME FIRST ! MWAHAHAHA! **

Padfoot- What? Ah! *turtles on him*

**Anyway, I did have a question, my best friend is leaving on a foreign exchange student trip to Japan for our senior year, how do I manage without her? **

_Cool! I want to go! Tell her to pack you with her! Stuff you (and me) in the suitcase! _(Moony- Desperate much?)

Moony- Well it's not forever right? I mean I usually am apart for Sirius and I write to him. You two should write and call each other when you can.

Padfoot- Yeah! What Moony says. Or surprise visit them!

_Are you kidding? Japan's so far!_

Padfoot-*shrug* Apparate.

_-_- Not all of us can…_

Padfoot- Wow! Your life must suck!

**p.s. As soon as sirius bows down to my awesome violent powers my turtle minions will cease their retribution. **

Padfoot- NEVER! *turtles bite* Okay fine. *bows*

**p.p.s. Oh, and the song was the pokemon theme song, and in case the evil laughter and revenge seeking didn't tip you off, I'm a Slytherin! ;)**

Padfoot- these a lot of Slytherins here….

_Don't be so racst! _

Padfoot- :P

Moony- Bye!

_Question 287 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Maybe I will sing a Chinese song as I promised. use google translate BTW.**

**This song is called**

**星空****(Starry Night) by ****五月天****(Mayday)**

**mō bú dào de yán sè shì fǒu jiào cǎi hóng ？**

**kàn bú dào de yōng bào shì fǒu jiào zuò wēi fēng ？**

**yí gè rén xiǎng zhe yí gè rén shì fǒu jiù jiào jì mò？**

**mìng yùn tōu zǒu rú guǒ zhǐ liú xià jié gu shí jiān tōu zǒu chū zhōng zhǐ liú xià le kǔ zhōn nǐ lái guò rán hòu nǐ zǒu hòu zhǐ liú xià xīng kōn nà yì nián wǒ men wàng zhe xīng kōng yǒu nà me duō de càn làn de mèn yǐ wéi kuài lè huì yóng jiǔ xiàng bú biàn xīng kōng péi zhe w liè hù tiān láng zhī nǚ guāng nián wài jìng m ？**

**huí yì qīng chūn mèng xiǎng hé shí tōu tōu yǔn luò？**

**wǒài guò rán hòu wǒ shěn mò rén hái lǐ piāo li nà yì nián wǒ men wàng zhe xīng kōng wèi lái de wèi lái cóng méi xiǎng gu dāng gù shi shī qù měi mèng měi mèng shī qù xiàn suǒér wǒ men shī qù lián lu ？**

**zhè yí piàn wú yán wú yǔ xīng kōng wéi shén me jìng jìng kàn wǒ lèi liú？**

**rú guǒ nǐ zài de shí hou huì bu huì shēn shǒu yōng bào wǒ？**

**xì shù fán xīng shǎn shuò xì shù cǐ shēng bēn b yuán lái suó yǒu suǒ dé suǒ huò bù rú yí yè de xīng kōn kōng qì zhōng dì wēn róu huí yì nǐ de xiào rón páng fú zhǐ yào shēn shǒu jiù néng chù m ？**

**mō bú dào de yán sè shì fǒu jiào cǎi hóng ？**

**kàn bú dào de yōng bào shì fǒu jiào zuò wēi fēng ？**

**yí gè rén xí guàn yí gè ré zhè yí kè dú zì wàng zhe xīng kōng cóng qián de cóng qián cóng méi biàn gu jì mò ké yǐ shì rěn shòu yě ké yǐ shì xiǎng shòu xiǎng shòu jǐn yǒu de yōng yǒ nà yì nián wǒ men wàng zhe xīng kōng yǒu nà me duō de càn làn de mèn zhì shǎo huí yì huì yóng jiǔ xiàng bú biàn xīng kōng péi zhe w zuì hòu zhǐ shèng xià xīng kōng xiàng bú biàn huí yì péi zhe wǒ**

**lol I don't even think that you guys will understand this. But use google translate I swear you guys will like this song or go listen to it on youtube.**

_Okay we'll watch it after we're done with this…cause then I'll get distracted and…no good. :P _

Padfoot- Did you translate it?

_Er…no since it's already written out I can't translate it. _

Padfoot- Aww boo.

Moony- It looks really interesting though.

**Bye tell me the titles idea then I will choose the best title and use it for my next story. Bye Bye *waves***

_Oh no well have to think up title…_

_Um—Blaine and the Vampire._

_Or Blood Suck_

_Or Starry Night like your song :P Those were the best I could think of. _

Padfoot- Yeah or the two from before.

Moony- Sorry if they aren't that good.

Everyone- Bye!

_Question 288 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**HI! :DDDD OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! GUESS WHAT? ! ? ! **

***waits for everyone to guess***

Padfoot- You killed Snape? :D

Moony and Lizard- *are not amused*

**I WON THE LOTTERY! ! ! *screams in happiness***

_Oh no way! :D! Buy me stuff!_

Padfoot- Me too!

**HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! ! *laughs***

_:( Aww!_

Padfoot- Hah! Good one!

**I have never even bought a lottery ticket before! Let alone win it!**

**Good joke? **

Moony- Very.

***unknown to everybody, two hot redheads set up paint bombs and run like hell* Its the Twins birthday! *bombs go off covering everyone in different colored paint* *the Twins and I fall off our chairs laughing our asses off***

Padfoot- -_- happy birthday….brats.

Moony- -_- yeah happy birthday.

_Happy b-day! -_-_

**(Fred) You guys didn't think we- **

**(George) Were just gonna do a joke- **

**(Me) did you? ! *I take a picture of everyone* Sorry, Lizzy, had to take a picture of this. :) **

_That's okay these are very precious moments… _

**Brownies?**

Everyone-*hogs*

**(Fred) Try to get rid of the paint!**

**(Me) *whispers after everyone tries to get the paint off* It makes it worse! *laughs and takes another picture***

_Great how will I tell my mother this? -_-_

Moony- How will I tell Minerva this?

Padfoot- Or James that neat freak.

**:D HAPPY APRILS FOOLS GUYS! HUGS AND KISSES! **

Everyone- Happy April Fools!

**P.S. We really need your help finding Anne & Ron. :( **

Padfoot- Yeah how bout that…still missing huh?

Moony- :(

**Love, Becky, Fred, and George**

Everyone- Bye

**P.S. BIRTHDAY PARTY AT PRONGS'S HOUSE! ! BE THERE OR BE SQUARE! ! ! XP**

Moony- I'm there!

Padfoot- Me too

_Me too too!_

_Question 289 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**Wes: Damn I tired of nagging from teachers from college. *walks through Blaine's door* Hey Blaine you home?**

**Blaine: Wes help. I can't take it anymore.**

**Wes: Woah what?**

**Blaine: Kurt broke up with me. David is trying to kill himself cause you left him and went to college.**

(everyone- Whhaaaaat?)

**Wes: But I love David. Why did Kurt break up with you?**

**Blaine: Cause he cheated on me. Goodbye cruel world**

**Wes: BLAINE!**

**Blaine: *stabs self***

(Everyone- O_o!)

**Wes: No! First David now you! You can't do this.**

**Blaine: *cough* *blood coming out of mouth* sorry Wes this is the last thing I can do for the world. Mom and Dad hates me. Cooper left me. Kurt broke up with me.*closes eyes***

**Wes: NOOOOO BLAINE!**

**Me: gotcha! Lol you fell for it.**

**Wes: What?**

**Blaine: Happy April Fool's Day! God you're stupid for falling for that.**

**Kurt: Wes you're quite dumb for believing in that we used ketchup as blood.**

**David: I didn't know that Blaine had it in him to fool someone.**

**Me: Give me five.**

**Klaine and David: *high five Klaine Lover***

**Me: well that's a joke okay bye.**

Padfoot- Man good one! I was scared!

Moony- Even I fell for that!

_Bye! And good one!_

_Question 290 comes from _**anon**

**U UPDATE OR I KIDNAP MOONY AND MAKE HIM MY BITCH!**

Moony- :O

_Heh heh, sorry Remus. _

Moony- -_-

_Question 291 comes from _**anon **

**Sorry. UPDATE 2NITE OR MOONY IS MY BITCH!**

_Yeah sorry Moons._

Moony- -_-

Padfoot- Don't worry you'll be fine.

Moony- -_-

_Question 292 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**I want to apologize for all the typos I have in that long ass summary (my spelling fail).**

_I didn't see any…_

Padfoot- That's cause you're blinder than James.

**Yes in that summary Cooper is a werewolf and didn't tell Blaine. Cooper Anderson is Blaine's real older brother. Blair is a character of mine. FYI**

Padfoot- Okay I get it now!

**Let me give you all a introduction of Cooper Anderson.**

**Name: Cooper Anderson**

**Age: 26**

**Height: taller than Blaine(hobbit)**

**Job: acting in Hollywood teaching the ND**

**Family members: Blaine(their parent died in a plane crash when they found out that Blaine is gay they didn't accept Blaine they crash into some building and died)**

Moony- :O That's horrible!

**Relationship status: single. He straight BTW no flirting with him.**

Padfoot- Ahh boo!

**Intrest: Singing, Acting, Teaching, Teasing his younger brother, Protecting his younger brother.**

**Dislike: Bullying, Can't be with his brother when he needs help(he was in Hollywood), Can't stop bullying for his brother, Homophobes.**

**That's Cooper people.**

**Me: Say hello Cooper.**

**Cooper: Hello guys Klaine Lover here told me alot about you guys. *Hollywood trademark smile***

Padfoot-*blushes*

Moony- -_- Get ahold of yourself Siri.

Padfoot- :D

**Blaine: Hello Cooper *fake smile***

**Me: ... Okay bye.**

**Tell me the title then I will pick the best title from all of you (include Lily and James will ya?) I need to know who will win the best title award then I will give them cake that is right here. *points to cake***

**Okay bye bye.**

_Okay so I asked James and he said. _

"_The Greatest Story Ever." _

_And Lily said. _

"_A True Love Story." _

Padfoot- Eh. Mine's better.

Moony- I guess mine is still Mayday.

Everyone- Bye!

_Question 293 comes from _**livesinlibrary4012**

**To whoever "Shroom" is: Was that a . . . MEME reference? *shudders before exploding with joy* I'M NOT ALONE! **

_What's a MEME? _

Padfoot- Yeah what's that?

Moony- What's a Shroom?

_Nothing some person…I know and...moving on…_  
><strong><br>Well if James isn't gonna be here . . . someone tell him the answer was "die of old age."**

Padfoot- Okay I'll tell him!

**I am not one to often use chat talk or acronyms or whatever but this is an extreme case. OMD. (d is for dog so im technically not swearing or offending anyone or whatever. Also my dog is just so cute!) **

Padfoot- Cute ^^

**You two are slowly tearing my life to shreds. Like an angry dog and werewolf who like tearing lives to shreds. That is a huge exaggeration but i like being dramatic. NO SARCASM OR MEAN COMMENTS ABOUT IT. **

Padfoot- Okayy…

Moony- Fine.

**You see - *gumpy and surly* - instead of doing important things like my homework you two draw me in like sirens and i go on fanfiction to read RLSB. *mutters very mean names under breath***

Padfoot – I'm sorry…?

Moony- Sirens?

**Not you Lizard. You never update soon enough for me to READ THIS. *sugary sweetness and smiles***

_Ouch. The truth hurts. _

Padfoot- Haha! BURNNNNNNNNN!

_-_- I am so going to beat you up when this is chapter is done…_

Padfoot- Come at me bro!  
><strong><br>A really cool story on fanfiction. It is called "Dating Remus Lupin" and is so cute. Don't know why but it go. Be back later. Bye!**

_OMG! I love that story! _

Moony- What?

_Oh yeah it's good go read it! _

Padfoot- I did already I've probably read everything.

_Hah! Yeah right!_

Padfoot- :P

Moony- You guys are weird…Bye!

_Question 294 comes from _**livesinlibrary4012**

**Back.**

Padfoot- Couldn't resist me :D

**Woo hoo.**

**Well thanks to you guys *menacing glare and back to shining blue eyes* everyone thinks im crazy. NO sarcasm or meanie-ish-ness.**

Padfoot-*looks at Moony*

Moony- What? I wasn't going to say anything!

_Um hmm…_

Moony- Oh whatever…

**I am officially obsessed with you guys being . . . well, you guys and not just separate "him and him." My definition of obsession is when you can't go two minutes without thinking about something or if you relate it to everything.**

Moony- Wow!

Padfoot- You flatter me :D

**Ive been thinking about you in that DRL story i told you about before. Ive been silently laughing everywhere and some people are creeped out. I can't even tell them what's so funny because im supposed to be an innocent whatever-year-old.**

_I do that too! I laugh at stuff that people who weren't there with me and don't understand won't understand._

**I am writing a story about you two. Remus is a little more . . . I don't wanna say feminine but that is the word that comes to mind. Although . . . that time of the month thing . . . Sirius is just Sirius, but a little more boyish. Video game obsessed (my definition!) oblivious to Lupin's feelings, says the right thing at the right time to get what he wants . . . *sticks tongue out*NOT a compliment, Sirius! I'm more mad at him because Moony is too cute and innocent (yeah, right) to be mad at for long.**

Padfoot- "D I'm still taking it as a compliment.

Moony- Well ^-^ I try…but no I'm-

**What were you going to say, Moony? No what?**

Moony- Uhh…nothing nothing!

**Last thing before i go . . . The switched personalities in DRL are so cool because now Sirius is the lovesick puppy dog and Remus is the "stoic," still werewolf guy who makes it seem like loving Sirius is a guilty pleasure. James is still fruitlessly chasing Lily. A little long but amazing. I officially recommend it.**

_See? I told you._

Moony- -_- fine I'll read it.

Padfoot and Lizard- Yay!

**Bye!**

**P.S. Hi!**

_Hi! _

Padfoot- Hola

Moony- Hello.

**P.P.S. Seriously what does glomp mean? Or do I just not want to know?**

_No no, you are old enough to know…_

_GLOMP- *a fangirl word used to define something that we think is cute and we need to tackle it and hug it to death* _

Padfoot- For example, I saw Moony in footie pajamas and I glomped him.

Moony- When did you see me—

Padfoot- Now's not the time for silly questions Remus!

Moony- What are you talking about? It's the PERFECT time for them!

Padfoot- Shut up!

**P.P.P.S. Gollum / Smeagol has multiple personality disorder!**

Padfoot- Huh?

_Haha! True! _

Moony- …okay…

_Question 295 comes from_** livesinlibrary4012**

**Oh wow I just found the cutest thing ever that could not wait for the next chapter. Either that or a cheap variation of an overused cheesy pickup line.**

_I love cheesy overused pickup lines!_

**It was this harry potter alphabet thing where the letters were made to look like characters. A was Albus Dumbledore. B was Sirius Black. C was Cho Chang. D was Draco Malfoy. Get it so far?**

_Yup_

Padfoot- Yeah!

**Good. Moony, you were R, for Remus. Do you know what my first thought was upon seeing it? And this shows my OBSESSION for you two. I immediately thought, "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put R and B together." Cute, right, Rhythm and Blues [because it also stands for that] (yes, I'm obsessed with music)?**

Moony- Cheesy…but cute :D

Padfoot- Speaking of cheese…I want some.

_Cheese? _

Padfoot- Yeah I'm kind of hungry…

Moony-You're always hungry.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so I'm making a Part 2 seeing as you guys reviewed for Chapter 27 too. Thanks for waiting so long :D <strong>

**LOVE YOU ALL!**


	28. Chapter 27 Part 2

**Here's Part 2 You guys have been more than patient! Have I told you guys how much I love you all? :D**

* * *

><p><em>296 comes from<em>** Klaine Lover **

**Hey nevermind. We'll wait.**

_Aww thanks for waiting and waiting and-you know :P_

**So I have a weird dream a few years ago when I'm still innocent.**

Padfoot- Was? You're not innocent*gasp*

Moony- Who is anymore?

**So I was dreaming about some monster chasing me, they're going to kill me. I was running through a mansion. Every door I open a monster will be there waiting to kill me.**

Padfoot- :O!

Moony- That sounds very creepy.

**After opening a door a weird light saved me. I was about to thank that light. Then it took out a knife and tried to kill me. Then I woke up from that dream. **

Moony- I think the light was an angel!

Padfoot-Why would the angel try and kill her?

_Yeah then again angels aren't all that nice…_

**Any extreme dreams to share with me?**

_I once had a dream I was falling into darkness and I couldn't feel the bottom then I woke up choking because of it. It was so scary. _

Padfoot- Cool story bro. I once had a dream that I was a dog and a man kidnapped me and trapped in his cellar and I was stuck down there and *whimper* It was scary!

Moony- I once had a dream I was flying :D Very nice. One of the best dreams ever!

_See everyone says they've had a flying dream I never have!_

Moony- Really?

Padfoot- What's wrong with you *shakes head*

_:P I know I'm weird!_

**I'm not in Gryffindor-**

_Me neither *high five* _

Padfoot- Traitors!

Moony- Pads, you exaggerate.

**anymore. To prove it. Here's a tape recording I have anybody here have a TV?**

_I do *brings in TV and VCR* *sits down exhausted* God I'm so tired. _

Padfoot- Someone needs to work out…

_You know what…shut up!_

Padfoot- I win. :D

**Scene 1**

**Me: *walking* *bumps into an asshole Slytherin girl***

**Asshole: Hey watch where you're going!**

**Me: Well I'm sorry.**

**Asshole: Well sorry is not enough!**

**Me: Well what will make you happy?**

**Asshole: Well maybe I hex you.**

**Me: *runs* AAAAHHHH BLAINE KURT HELP!**

**Klaine: Klaine Lover what's going on?**

**Asshole: Well Anderson you cousin bump into me so I have to hex her.**

**Kurt: Bitch please that's not even fair she apologized.**

**Asshole: Well that's not good enough.**

**Kurt: How about a STFU and GTFO. *looks evil***

**Me: Thanks guys.**

**Kurt: Your welcome.**

**Blaine: Go to your dorm room, I'll see you tomorrow.**

**Kurt: Sure *walks to Slytherin common room*(no judging Kurt)**

**Blaine: Well since you just transferred so how about sleeping after the traveling.**

**Me: *yawn* okay. *walks to room* *walks into room* *lie down on bed and sleep***

**The Next Morning**

**Headmistress McGonagall: Students we have a new student here. She's a muggleborn and her name is Klaine Lover. Klaine Lover how about we sort you into the suitable house for you.**

**Me: That will be great. *sits on chair with sorting hat on it***

**Sorting hat: Ah you don't want to be a house full of assholes.**

(Padfoot- HAHAHAH *dies* Moony- OMG! Padfoot!)

**Me: yeah**

**Sorting hat: You're not that smart too. You're at average level.**

**Me: Okay...**

**Sorting hat: You're not that courageous too.**

**Me: True.**

**Sorting hat: Always positive... But you have all houses blood in you. Only when you feel like it... Hmmmm the house you will be in is HUFFLEPUFF!**

**Hufflepuff table: Oh yeah.**

**Me: *tie turns to hufflepuff colour* Hi my name is Klaine Lover.**

**Hufflepuff: Hi. You're a cool girl already.**

**Slytherin table: Hey Mudblood.**

**Me: What did you call me. *stands***

**Klaine, Wevid, Niff(Nick and Jeff): *stands***

**Slytherin table: Nevermind *backs off***

**Me: Good if I hear something I never want to hear again, I will kill you. *sits down and eat breakfast***

**Hufflep****uff: That's pretty cool. None of us ever tried to stand up to them, but you are awesome there with the power couples in the school.**

**Me: I know them. They are the power couple in the muggle school they are studying in. So yeah.**

**tapes end**

**And that's how I found out I am a Hufflepuff. So yeah. Sorry if I'm not in Gryfinndor or something else cause I'm alway positive. So keep up the good work.**

_Yay! We can be Hufflepuff buddies! _

Padfoot- Lame.

_You're lame. _

Padfoot- Your face.

_Your mom._

Padfoot-*smiles* Okay you got me there.

_I win. :D _

_Question 297 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**OMM! **

**Padfoot- Well hello to you too :)**

**Moony- Why so excited? **

**Hi!**

**Guys, guess what? ! ? ! *doesn't wait for anyone to guess* I GOT INTO POTTERMORE! *screams and does happy dance***

**I got my House and everything! ! Sirius, you gotta promise not to kill me. I was just as shocked, well, maybe more so 'cause it was totally unexpected. It turns out, I'm a Slytherin! **

Padfoot- Are all the fangirls here Slytherin?

Moony- Good for you!

_Cool! I got into my house too :D_

**Shocked?**

Padfoot- Very.

**So am I! ! Who'd seen that coming! I guess I can't say I'm a Gryffindor anymore! :( **

Moony- Don't feel too bad!

_Yeah I mean Slytherin gets a good person :D_

**Moony, Padfoot, u guys still love me, right? *sad puppy dog eyes***

Moony- Of course :D

Padfoot- …yeah I guess…I mean it's not like you're mean or anything…sometimes…but yeah I still love you :D

**Lizzy, are u in Pottermore yet?**

_Hell yeah I'm in Pottermore!_

**I'm PhoenixWolf7130. My wand is Apple w/unicorn hair, 10 inches, quite flexible. **

_I'm WombatRain9597 or some number like that I honestly can't remember :( that's bad isn't it? I tried logging in and it no work! It just…kills meeeee!_

**Lizzy, I'm serious, take as long as u need to update. I understand. **

_Aww you're so NICE! *glomps her* I took too long however and I'm so sorry :(!_

**Hugs and kisses! Love, Phoenix**

Padfoot- *hugs her back* Bye!

Moony-*kisses her back* Bye!

_Question 298 comes from_** livesinlibrary4012**

**Lizard, I am disappointed. Tired too. I check for a new chapter and there is one. But really it's not. *pulls out and looks at packages of hair elastics and plastic knives before running away* BYE! GOING STARK RAVING BOOOOONKERS!**

_I'm sorry I drove you to madness :( Hope you can forgive me…_

Padfoot- You're terrible!

_I knowww!_

_Question 299 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Klaine Lover, I am sorry for my House's actions towards you. Not all of us are Assholes.**

Padfoot- That's true. SetoXSara isn't.

**No one should care about your Blood Status. Its stupid! Does it really matter where you come from? **

Padfoot- Nope.

Moony- No!

**NO! It doesn't! ! And NO ONE *cough*Sirius*cough* should care about what House you're from either! ! **

Moony- Yeah Padfoot.

Padfoot- -_- Sorry!

**I have friends from every House, Gryffindor too! Ok, I'm friends with more Slytherins, but that's because I'm one of them! If anybody from Slytherin bothers you, tell me and I'll take care of them! *evil grin***

_Aw that's cute :D Fangirls UNITE!_

_Question 300—_

_OMG! _

Padfoot-*bounces up and down*

Moony- :D

*they dance for a minute in celebration*

*Party Hard!*

_Okay anyways…comes from _**serinal**

**Ahhhhhhh!**

**Moony likes sour cream and onion!**

Moony- :D I do.

**That is my favourite. **

Moony- Really? Does that mean I'm your favorite? ^_^

Padfoot-*outraged* Can you believe this guy? Flirting with the reviewers!

Moony- :D *trollface*

**I love your little humorous chapters!**

_Thank you! Sorry if I haven't answered this. Also since you're the 300__th__ reviewer you I could…mail you a picture of Remus? Like a drawing of him? If you would like?_

_Anyone else what me to mail them a pic of someone? I'm not THAT bad at drawing! _

Padfoot- She really isn't

Moony- A picture of me?

_Why not I draw all the time. When I'm bored that is…Okay well anyone who wants me to send them a pic inbox me! _

Padfoot- Wow way to advertise :P

_Shut up_

_Question 301 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**PhoenixRose92, Klaine Wevid and Niff wants to say something to you.**

**Klaine, Wevid and Niff: Thank you for taking care of things. We swear that Klaine Lover always been hex by a bunch of pureblood that still believe that muggle born are still 'mudblood'.**

Padfoot- What is this the 1950's?

**Kurt: They called me blood traitor cause I'm dating Blaine.**

Padfoot- Those assholes!

**Blaine: Klaine Lover have not been smiling after all those hex. She doesn't even sing muggle songs anymore. She isn't herself anymore.**

**Me: ... Just mind of your own business I can take care of myself.**

**Blaine: Klaine Lover. *touches shoulder***

**Me: *wince* It hurts.**

**Blaine: Who are they? Who hurt you? You did nothing wrong.**

**Me: Parkinson and gang. They are the only pureblood who thinks that they can hex me cause I'm muggleborn. *sigh***

**Blaine: Hey it'll get better. Let me guess they hex you if you mention something muggle. They hex you if you take out your mobile phone and IPod touch.**

**Me: Yeah. It sucks when I can't be myself.**

**Blaine: It'll get better we promise.**

**Me: Thanks guys.**

Padfoot- Yeah hang in there!

_Stay strong Klaine Lover!_

Moony- Don't let them think you care!

_Question 302 comes from _**P****hoenixRose92**

**Yea... Excuse me a moment... *storms off* Parkinson! Get your boney ass over here! I'm gonna kick your ass from here to Mars and back! *screams and evil laughter are heard* *comes back leaving the Parkinson gang whithering in pain and obviously hexed and jinxed in many, many ways***

Padfoot- Yeah! You go girl!

Moony- Cool!

_*proud to be a fangirl* _

***shouting over shoulder* LEAVE KURT AND KLAINE LOVER ALONE, GOT IT? ! ? ! GOOD! ! *evil grin* I don't think they'll be bothering you again. **

**:D they're gonna spend awhile in Hospital Wing... I was put in Slytherin for a reason, I just happen to use them for good rather than evil. :D**

_Good one!_

***hugs Kurt and Klaine Lover* I'm a bit of an outcast in Slytherin... It sucks. They mostly leave me alone because they know I can kick their ass... Its mostly the "Death Eater" group though... *sigh*Oh well! **

Padfoot- Those Death Eaters!

Moony- Those guys are really evil!

**Love,**

**Phoenix**

_Question 303 comes from_** Klaine Lover **

**Me: *backs away* Thanks. I'm able to beat them up myself but I wouldn't want to go to detention. So yeah.**

**Oh yeah mid year exams are coming. Shit I hate exams. Wish me luck.**

Padfoot- Good luck!

_Good luck! _

Moony- Good luck.

**Blaine: PhoenixRose92 thank you for bringing the Klaine Lover we all know and love.**

Everyone- Yeah thanks!

**Me: Well Blaine why don't you song your boyfriend and I take pictures?**

**Blaine: No. I heard that you starting on a new story that have Kurt being mean to me cause I'm a nerd right.**

**Me: So smart. Yes cause Kurt is so popular that he's accepted for being gay as for you not accepted.**

**Blaine: That's unreasonable.**

**Me: To them it is cause you're unpopular and Kurt is the head cheerios so yeah.**

**Blaine: That gonna suck.**

**Me: Don't worry. Me Wevid and Niff are going to be in this story but in a different school. Wevid and Niff will be in Dalton and I will be in Hetalia High(anime)**

_(Haha I love that anime!)_

**school.**

**Blaine: Oh. Good luck in your exams and story.**

**Me: Thanks! :)**

**Blaine: No problem.**

_Question 304 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**I'm pretty sure that you guys(Sirius and James) will have a reason to freak out cause I chose Snape in the previous story as Headmaster. Well I've got a good reason for it too. Well Blaine is a muggle and Dalton is an all-boys wizard school at night, in the say time it's a normal school like Math and stuff.**

**Headmaster Snape is brought back to teach a muggle school.**

Padfoot- Ahh ewwww!

Moony- Don't be so immature Pads!

**In Dalton we have for different houses too. We have the Windsor, Stuart and Hanover and Dobry house.**

Moony- Interesting!

Padfoot- Last one sounded like Dobby*laughs*  
><strong><br>All of the teachers and Headmaster Snape loves Windsor house cause we kill giant snakes and killed a dragon and things that's why Dalton have no exams at all. :) So I hope you guys understand the background behind Dalton.**

Padfoot- LUCKY! No exams!

Moony-*shudders* I couldn't live without exams!

Padfoot and Lizard-*look at him like he's crazy* I COULD.

Moony- -_- Whatever.

_Question 305 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Me: Ok... That is getting weird...**

**Fred: What is-**

**George: getting weird?**

**Me: Klaine Lover... She responds to the reviews I aim towards her. Then I look up the author name and see she hasn't uploaded or updated any of her stories (their isn't anything wrong with that!**

(Padfoot and Moony- Yeah there is! _ -_-*sarcastically* Thanks guys!_)

**Could Lizzy be Klaine Lover? ! ? ! :O **

Padfoot- No Lizard's not as smart as Klaine Lover

Moony- Yeaah…

**Fred: Don't you think that's a little insane?**

**George: Nope, it could very possibly be Lizzy, Fred!**

**Fred: You're kidding!**

**George: *w/wide eyes and shaking his head* No, I'm not dude! !**

**Me: Did you my pot brownies again, George?**

**George: No *looks around guiltily***

**Me: Damnit, George! ! Those were my last ones! !**

**George: Sorry *flees***

**Fred: He knows Catman?**

**Me: -_- funny, Fred. Hillarious. Go get your brother.**

**Fred: Ok. *goes off to find George.**

***Fred and Goerge come back***

**Me: George, you owe me some pot...**

**George: Really? That's all? Just buy you more pot?**

**Me: yup! That's it!**

**Fred: We don't believe that!**

**Draco Plushe: Nope! She's lying...**

**Me: WTF? ! Plushie Draco, back it the box!**

**Plushie Draco: No!**

**Me: *mutters* damn dracken plushie who don't do what you say... *continues muttering while picking Plushie Draco up and taking him to another room* Sorry. Ignore him...**

***snores from George***

**Fred: Why on earth did you pike Draco? ! ? !**

**Me: I like Draco! *pouts***

**Hugs and Kisses!**

**Love,**

**Phoenix**

_Well…I am not Klaine Lover :P I haven't been on the site is all. I think I would get in trouble if I was just sitting here an reviewing and not updating stories._

Padfoot- I would kill you!

_Yeah Padfoot would kill me. _

_Question 306 comes from _**Klaine Lover**

**I'm pretty sure I'm not Lizard. I mean I use UK English okay and I come from an Asian country not America. So yeah. You are not going to know which country it is cause I'm not telling. :P so yeah.**

_Yeah I'm not that special. I'm American Mexican or Mexican American…_

**I'm a Hufflepuff cause I always positive and cheerful. I'm brave, a bit evil, quite smart. But Hufflepuff is a house that I belong. And Blaine is in Hufflepuff. We're always cheerful and positive and we are loyal. I'm pretty sure that me and Blaine used to prank Cooper before he left for Hollywood. That bastard. And we get angry easily and turn back to happy. Somehow like mood swings. We are in our teenage years after all.**

**Hope you all understand. I respond cause people are talking to me(sometime I don't even respond at all if I don't like the person I may think of ways to hex he or she and blame it on someone else). Blaine, Kurt, Wes, David, Nick and Jeff are my friends in Hogwarts. Let's say the houses of the power couple in Hogwarts.**

**Me and Blaine are in Hufflepuff.**

**Kurt is in Slytherin.(any mean comments from James and Sirius those two will die I'm serious(no pun intended))**

**Padfoot- I won't say anything!**

**Moony- Yeah I'll keep his mouth shut.**

**Wes is in Ravenclaw.**

**David, Nick and Jeff are in**

**So yeah I hope that people will understand I mean I can sing a Chinese song without saying anything.**

_And I can try and fail! :D I actually do want to learn Chinese its cool. _

_Question 307 comes from _**PhoenixRose92**

**Its cool. Klaine Lover. I was just messing with you. I didn't mean anything mean by it. :D **

**Yea, I really thought I'd be a Hufflepuff myself. I was really suprised when I was put in Slytherin... I just sat there in shock! Professor McGonagall the tell to get off! ! XD**

Padfoot- Haha! That Minnie!

**Love,**

**Phoenix**

_Bye Phoenix!_

Padfoot- Bye Becky!

Moony- Goodbye!

_Last Question 308 for this chapter comes_** from Klaine Lover**

**So whoever reviews and of course Padfoot, Moony, Prongs, Lizard and Lily can think up of a title and win will get a chocolate tart that is baked by Blaine and will ask a few questions so Klaine Wevid and I will answer. **

Padfoot-Ahhh! I want to win!

Moony- So do I!

_So do I!_

Nancy-*nonexistent* *rolls her eyes*

Moony- She said "Oh great no one even noticed me until now. Screw this I'm going back to my room."

Nancy-*leaves*

**Any sick(perverted) questions I'll let Klaine and Wevid answer as for me I will answer normal questions.**

**For example**

**Yo Klaine Lover what do you like to do in your free time?**

**Me: Well I like to spend my free tine hanging out with my family and use my computer.**

**As for perverts who wants to know about Klaine and Wevid sex life.**

**Yo Klaine Lover, what kind of kinks do you like?**

**Me: W-what! Why? I'm an innocent girl.**

**Blaine: Well I do have a daddy issue. So Kurt is my Daddy. This kink is called daddy!kink.**

**Wes: Well I dunno what kink I like so no answer from me and David.**

**Kurt: Like what Blaine say. I interested in a master and slave kink. Blaine and I did it before. It was fun.**

Padfoot- Oh Moonnnyyyy!

Moony- -_- How come I know where this is going…

**Okay that was an stupid examples I made.**

**So my question do you guys watch smosh?**

Padfoot- Uh no…

Moony- Nope sorry.

_I did once it was a twilight parody HILARIOUS!_

**Okay bye**

_Bye Klaine Lover! _

Moony- Bye!

Padfoot- Bye bye!

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so before I go watch Mayday recommended by Klaine Lover :D. I have to say that there will only be THREE MORE CHAPTERS! I only intend to go up to 30 chapters because as you can see I can no longer handle so many stories at the same time! <strong>

**Also I wasn't kidding about the Drawing thing. I'll send you a drawing if you want. If you live in another country it might take a while and by a while I mean a LONG while. **

**But yeah...**

**Thanks for those who kept commenting (Klaine Lover and Phoenix especiallly)**


End file.
